NFL vol 4

[davos]

carry on.

[DanteGabriel]

Linking to Simmons' column on the Moss trade, because it sums up my feelings fairly well -- though I wasn't as sold on the "Randy became a problem" thing at first, I've now read enough commentary and rationalized it to myself that I'm almost comfortable with it.

That is, assuming the Pats can somehow get back to the plucky spread-it-around offense of the first half of this decade. And of course the other part of that winning formula, besides the reliable but unspectacular offense, was the intimidating defense. Right now this defense doesn't scare anyone except Chad Henne. And Pats fans I guess.

"You know it probably won't last long. You know you can't get attached. You know that it has to be condoms all the time, every time, no exceptions. You know you can't let her move her stuff into your apartment, give her a key, get your e-mail password or find out where your checkbook is. Even when things are going perfectly -- like a vacation in Mexico when you're watching the sun setting on the beach, or a dance floor at a wedding when she's the sexiest girl there and you're the envy of your buddies -- in the back of your mind, you're constantly saying 'Keep your guard up, keep your guard up, keep your guard up,' because that's how it has to be. And at the first hint of trouble, you bail. No hard feelings."

The last two lines were eerily similar to what Whitlock wrote. You know why? Because that's how you end things with the Crazy Hot Chick! Bill Belichick finally bailed late Monday night, right after Moss didn't catch a pass in Monday's Miami blowout, missed a couple of blocks, nearly got punched by the quarterbacks coach at halftime, then couldn't be calmed down on the team's plane ride home. (And yes, that story is true, too.) Added together, it was like Crazy Hot Girl causing a scene at dinner just because you said "I don't know where this is headed," steaming in silence on the way home, breaking a wine bottle back at your apartment, storming out with no shoes, disappearing for the night, then sending a group e-mail to your buddies the following morning that you were hung like a field mouse. And the whole time, you're thinking "God, I was attracted to her that ENTIRE TIME. I need to get out of this!"

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmonsnfl2010/101008&sportCat=nfl

It amuses me that he and Whitlock both made the "hot crazy girlfriend" analogy about Moss, because I figured they'd both do that, and for about the same amount of space -- Whitlock would make a paragraph or two of it, and Simmons based an entire column on it.

I'll make another analogy about Moss. For years the Pats won with a sensible, reliable, if not terribly exciting offense. To be a Pats fan in the 2007 season was to be like a guy who'd spent the last year eating grilled chicken, steamed broccoli, and brown rice to lose weight (actually I was that guy), suddenly going off that plan and eating at Five Guys every day. I knew in my heart that wasn't the approach that had gotten the Pats their championships, and I used to regularly scoff at the Colts for their high-flying offense that went pear-shaped in the playoffs. But fuckin A, it sure was fun to be a Pats fan that year. Even as I convince myself that this deal was The Right Thing To Do, I know I'll miss the electricity of watching Moss take off down the sideline. I have a set of non-football-watching female friends who know the names of three football players -- Tom Brady (we're in New England after all), Brett Favre (do I need to explain?), and Randy Moss. And that's because they'd occasionally be at my house while I was watching a Pats game and there'd be at least a few times where I'd just yell "Rrrrannnndy Moss!" with a certain kind of inflection. He inspired this giddiness in me as a fan. It's probably how Peter King feels about Brett Favre.

And now I'll spend the rest of my day trying vainly not to compare Randy Moss to the ex-girlfriend I spent my 20s alternately pursuing and trying to get over. I'm not a Vikings fan, after all.

[Fez]

Well PTI just spent a minute on Favre (though they didnt' say much), so I guess ESPN is willing to report on it now...

[Trebla]

Well PTI just spent a minute on Favre (though they didnt' say much), so I guess ESPN is willing to report on it now...

yeah, it's unavoidable now that the NFL is investigating. It's rather amusing too that the NFL is investigating. i doubt they want to but they also have no real choice. They went after Pacman and Roethlisberger despite there being no real charges (well pacman had OTHER charges but he wasn't charged for making it rain) so there is precedent. While Favre isn't gulity of anything other than being a scuzzy doucebag from a legal point of view, being a douche can get you in trouble with the Players Conduct Policy.

[DanteGabriel]

yeah, it's unavoidable now that the NFL is investigating. It's rather amusing too that the NFL is investigating. i doubt they want to but they also have no real choice. They went after Pacman and Roethlisberger despite there being no real charges (well pacman had OTHER charges but he wasn't charged for making it rain) so there is precedent. While Favre isn't gulity of anything other than being a scuzzy doucebag from a legal point of view, being a douche can get you in trouble with the Players Conduct Policy.

He was the Jets' quarterback and Jenn Sterger was the Jets' sideline reporter when this allegedly happened. That would seem to be a clear-cut case of sexual harassment. Especially when Favre allegedly name-dropped a Jets' PR staffer for "if you don't believe this is really me, just talk to so-and-so" purposes.

[Trebla]

He was the Jets' quarterback and Jenn Sterger was the Jets' sideline reporter when this allegedly happened. That would seem to be a clear-cut case of sexual harassment. Especially when Favre allegedly name-dropped a Jets' PR staffer for "if you don't believe this is really me, just talk to so-and-so" purposes.

I should have specified from a "criminal" standpoint, not "legal". I would think she could sue the Jets and Brett Favre.

[Stego]

Are we all assuming that this is really his dick and not just some douche fan sending it to her pretending to be a QB?

I don't doubt he's this stupid, I just think he can fuck whoever he wants without playing games. And I would not be shocked if he did not know how to use a cell phone camera.

[Kalbear]

They came from a Mississippi phone number, the voice sounded a lot like him, and the voicemails responded to things she said to other people on the staff (that weren't him) - so if it was some douche fan, it was some very well-connected douche fan.

[Stego]

They came from a Mississippi phone number, the voice sounded a lot like him, and the voicemails responded to things she said to other people on the staff (that weren't him) - so if it was some douche fan, it was some very well-connected douche fan.

Ehh, that's all circumstantial at the very best. She doesn't strike me as a MENSA member, either. A dude from Carolina might sound like Brett Favre to her.

And what could she possibly have said the staff? Her opinions on string theory?

Unless we have a dick lineup like was requested in Porky's after the shower scene, I'm afraid we simply can't convict.

[Kalbear]

Stego - the tapes are out there. You can listen yourself. It's not that big a deal. It sounded like Favre to me. Go check out the deadspin article linked above, it's pretty damning.

As to what she told staff members - the basic story is that Favre asked someone else for her number and asked another guy if he would ask her for her number. She got a call about hooking up; she didn't reply to him. Instead, she talked to the guy who asked her for her number and told him to tell Favre that it wouldn't be a good idea and something like 'if I did that I'd end up in a trash can'. The next voicemail she got was from the Favre voice mentioning the trash can thing.

[smegma]

The thing is, he hasn't said "that's not my cock". You'd think he'd have done that by now. Also, I guess there's a guy wearing the same watch as him in one of the pictures, a very distinct one. Anyway, yeah they have to investigate...this could be a huge case of sexual harassment.

[Stego]

Stego - the tapes are out there. You can listen yourself. It's not that big a deal. It sounded like Favre to me. Go check out the deadspin article linked above, it's pretty damning.

As to what she told staff members - the basic story is that Favre asked someone else for her number and asked another guy if he would ask her for her number. She got a call about hooking up; she didn't reply to him. Instead, she talked to the guy who asked her for her number and told him to tell Favre that it wouldn't be a good idea and something like 'if I did that I'd end up in a trash can'. The next voicemail she got was from the Favre voice mentioning the trash can thing.

I have no fucking clue why I'm defending Brett Freaking Favre. I just want to start my own "911 was an inside job and so were the Brett Favre Cock Pics" conspiracy theory. Stop shitting on it.

[Kalbear]

Sorry - Tupac and Brett Favre are being put down by The Man.

Secretly? I totally want Minnesota to have to cut Favre and have him retire early because of this, leaving Moss to sit in Minnesota and look angrily at TJax.

[Zadok]

Moss is still the best receiver in the NFL on the plays he wants to play. He proved it when he embarrassed Revis a couple of weeks ago. And then he disappears for the rest of the game.

Sigh.

I would not be surprised if he were still the most talented wide receiver in football 5 years from now, drawing double coverage form guys who could be his children.

This may be the most ridiculous thing I've ever read. Do you watch football? Although to be fair I guess no one can say how Moss performs when he "wants to play" because he certainly hasn't done it this year. He made a 1 handed catch on a play where the guy covering him was injured and then he got completely shut down in the 2nd half by Cromartie and his laziness led to a couple INTs. But yeah he's the best in the NFL, certainly better than guys like Boldin or Marshall, both of who abused Cromartie with much worse QBs.

[awesome possum]

Secretly? I totally want Minnesota to have to cut Favre and have him retire early because of this, leaving Moss to sit in Minnesota and look angrily at TJax.

Childress would essentially be signing his termination papers with that, even if it wasn't his idea. Won't happen. I'd say a few games suspended, but knowing the NFL they won't finish their investigation until the end of the season. Or, conveniently, just in time for him to be suspended for the Redskins/Bills game the end of November/early December. Maybe just the last game of the season against the Lions.

[Swordfish]

They came from a Mississippi phone number, the voice sounded a lot like him, and the voicemails responded to things she said to other people on the staff (that weren't him) - so if it was some douche fan, it was some very well-connected douche fan.

And just as telling, he seems to be dodging questions about.

I can't imagine a situation where he wouldn't be all over the place denying this if it wasn't him.

[Darkostar]

Allegedly, Farve didn't stop with just Sterger.

So this could get verrrrrry interesting.

[davos]

I don't doubt he's this stupid, I just think he can fuck whoever he wants without playing games. And I would not be shocked if he did not know how to use a cell phone camera.

Brett Favre is not stupid, intelligence-wise. He can be unwise in his actions and in what he says but he is no way a moron. He has run complex NFL offenses that require a great deal of study and the ability to make quick reads for nearly 2 decades. Particularly during the Holmgren era in GB he was a master of probably the most difficult offensive system for the QB to run at the time in the NFL. You can't do that an not be on the bright side. There have been more than a few decent college QB's who had the physical skills to make it in the NFL but failed because they simply didn't have the brain power to do it. NFL offenses are complex and have become more so as the league has become more passing focused.

I hate being the Brett Favre apologist around here. I'm a freaking Packer fan. We adored Brett Farve for years, interceptions and all. He played played hard and was willing to take risks to try to win during the Sherman years when he was about the only thing keeping the team with a winning record. He was our QB, flaws and all. It was an extraordinary relationship between player and fan base. Then Favre went and shit on it. We could have understood if he just had to move on. The Packer organization was ready to give Rodgers a chance and Favre had decided he wanted to keep playing. We could have dealt with that. then he had to arrange it so he could go to the fucking Vikings out of spite due to some stupid squabble with Packers GM Ted Thompson. It was a big FU to green bay fans and most of us our fucking pissed at the ass-hole for it. So I hate standing up for the man. Thing is that a lot of people forget that there is good reason that he's considered among the best QB's ever that goes beyond his numerous records and his astounding durability (which has been both a positive and a negative factor, there have been times when his determination to play hurt came at the detriment to his team). For 3 or 4 years in the mid-ninties he was as dominate as any QB has ever been over a similar period of time. He's still the only player to be named MVP 3 years in a row. There is a lot to criticize about the man and the way he plays his position but some of the stuff that is said regarding him around here just doesn't hold up to the facts.

That being said in regards to these allegations I'm holding out judgment. I wouldn't be wholly surprised if they are true. The information I have seen to date is inconclusive though. If it was someone pretending to be Favre some real thought went into it but that is not yet out of the question. If they are true I would both be even more angry at Favre and feel awful for his wife who has put up with his insanity and his retirement attics for years. She deserves better.

[Darkostar]

For 3 or 4 years in the mid-ninties he was as dominate as any QB has ever been over a similar period of time.

You mean when he was on painkillers? :laugh:

(Sorry, even though he hijacked my Vikings, I'm still contractually obligated to mention this.)

[davos]

You mean when he was on painkillers? :laugh:

(Sorry, even though he hijacked my Vikings, I'm still contractually obligated to mention this.)

Indeed. This guy doing dumb things is not a new phenomena.

though IIRC correctly the vicodin scandal occurred follow the year he won the first of his MVP awards. He was, as far as we know, clean the next two years.