Sniffing Sister's and Mother's Panties

[Spring Bass]

Perhaps I don't like people who allow this stuff to happen. My father physically abused my sister and me for ten years before the state intervened. If just one adult in my extended family had done something maybe we wouldn't have had to wait until I had enough courage to turn him in myself. Maybe there is nothing that Cantabile can do. If so, I pity his grandchildren.

Does he live in the US? If so, then there's not "nothing" he could do. He could call Child Services, for example, and while I doubt he wants to separate his son from his kids, if the wife is that abusive (and everything he's mentioned about her fits the classic pattern of physical, emotional, and psychological abuse), it'd probably be a good idea to get them away from her until she gets counseling or something.

If he doesn't live in the US, then I don't know - but he'd be well-advised to look into the options available.

What a load of bollocks. It is NEVER too late to attempt to provide a helping hand in order to solve an issue and give someone a chance to a better life (be that through breaking up a family or resolving the issues currently shaking up a family). The very essence of abusive relationships requires help from outside to even have a good shot at solving the issue at hand. Throwing in the towel is just stupid.

I'm sure Cantabile has tried, but the son just sounds totally spineless and fucked up. Maybe losing his kids for a while will shock him into actually doing something.

[Relic]

Just gave it a shot and "sniffing panties mother" gives you this board as search result 3.

that's a great thing to have in your search engine history. and by great i mean clear your history. =P

[DrownedCrow]

What a load of bollocks. It is NEVER too late to attempt to provide a helping hand in order to solve an issue and give someone a chance to a better life (be that through breaking up a family or resolving the issues currently shaking up a family). The very essence of abusive relationships requires help from outside to even have a good shot at solving the issue at hand. Throwing in the towel is just stupid.

Maybe you're right. I'm sure you'll understand, though, if I'm lacking in sympathy for the guy who chose to let his kids grow up in a shitty, abusive environment. If that isn't cowardice then I don't know what is.

[Trebla]

I think everyone's being a bit too hostile to the therapist idea. In and of itself the panty sniffing isn't a huge deal but, considering the home environment described, it might be a good idea to get him in there for at least a session or two.

But find a good one. If you know anyone in the business ask them if they have any recommendations.

bold mine and I totally agree.

[Spring Bass]

bold mine and I totally agree.

Thing is, Cantabile already said that he brought up the therapy idea with the daughter-in-law, who did not take it well and never did it. If she didn't do, his son likely didn't do it either.

[Old Nan]

Just gave it a shot and "sniffing panties mother" gives you this board as search result 3.

Now your mention of "sniffing panties mother" has brought this thread up to the second result for "sniffing panties mother" Can we be #1?

Also, I will for once retract some of my earlier flippancy. The weirdness has weirdened sufficiently.

[Kosciuszko]

Thing is, Cantabile already said that he brought up the therapy idea with the daughter-in-law, who did not take it well and never did it. If she didn't do, his son likely didn't do it either.

I didn't mean the mom going to a therapist (though she probably should) but the kid. And not because panty sniffing is weird or creepy but because of the kid's home environment as described. You never know what could come up.

And Cruella wanted the son to see a psychiatrist back on page 5, IIRC. Shouldn't be that hard to down-grade it to therapist.

[Spring Bass]

I didn't mean the mom going to a therapist (though she probably should) but the kid. And not because panty sniffing is weird or creepy but because of the kid's home environment as described. You never know what could come up.

And Cruella wanted the son to see a psychiatrist back on page 5, IIRC. Shouldn't be that hard to down-grade it to therapist.

And what do you think the therapist's reaction will be if the kid starts talking about how his mom is an abusive bitch?

[Kosciuszko]

^

This is preferable to an alternative where the mom's an abusive bitch and no one necessarily knows about it?

[zollo]

that's a great thing to have in your search engine history. and by great i mean clear your history. =P

It is on auto-clear :P

Maybe you're right. I'm sure you'll understand, though, if I'm lacking in sympathy for the guy who chose to let his kids grow up in a shitty, abusive environment. If that isn't cowardice then I don't know what is.

Sorry if I came off a bit harsh there - I read your post as a casual dismissal of a human being (the son) - and clearly I react strongly to that. :P

eta: Cantabile - best of luck. Can barely imagine what it must be like to be one of the parties on the sideline of such a family scenario.

[Old Nan]

Well, we're now both #2 and #3 somehow. And #1 for "sniff mother sister panties" :stillsick:

Imagine me and you, I do

I sniff your panties in the night, it’s only right

To think about the mom you love, and fear and spite

Yearn for the leather... :whip:

If I should lick them too, to fill my mind

Because I belong to you, mother divine

Imagining I... I... I... I... have arrived

So happy together

[Spastic Plastic]

Cantabile, I didn't mean that you should threaten your son or order him around. I was just saying that a part of me would react like that if it was my son. I think you should have a serious conversation with your son, though. He needs to understand that his kids are being damaged by this. As for your grandson, maybe he could see a therapist to talk about his problems at home.

I'm not trying to play the internet psychologist, but it does sound like the kid gets turned on by the thrill of the forbidden, instead of having incestuous feelings. Maybe the mom's behavior has something to do with it.

I wonder how involved a grandfather (or other relatives) can actually get. I remember that Stego had some nephews and nieces (?) a few years back that were in some really dire straits, and he really couldn't "do" anything about it.

Yeah, I remember a thread about that. Wasn't it those homeschooled kids with insanely religious parents? What happened to them?

[Cantabile]

I feel quite helpless, and like you said there's not much I really can do except help try to guide my son. I fully believe there's no abuse towards the kids; my son might let his spouse walk all over him, but he detests violence and would protect his children with his life. Why he can't do the same for himself, I don't know.

And I'm not very physically imposing at all. I like to categorize myself as the "cute little old man" type.

Tonight, after my grandson has gone to sleep, Cruella is planning on checking the keylogger. I'm pretty much hoping that she'll find something that will make her want to address him finally (preferrably let my son address him instead of herself)

[Balefont]

Okay, I don't mean to scare you or anything, but my boss's son is sooooo messed up by his mother, who happens to sound EXACTLY THE SAME as your DiL and he is now 18 and in and out of group homes because he's been so messed up by her.

I know, there isn't much you can do directly, but gods, if your son is so fiercely protected of his kids, he really needs to grow a pair or get them out of from under this bitch.

I'm so sorry, Cantabile. Ugh. Rock. Hard place.

Oh, and I totally adore cute little old men. <3

[Ixodes]

I think the answer to this should be obvious to anyone -- prayer.

The sad thing is where I grew up it was common for folks to recommend confused young lads consult the parish catholic priest when they had issues like this. FFS, that was like telling your kid to jump into the lion's den after smearing them with raw meat.

[Kat]

You know, as much as I dismiss Dear Abby, in situations like this she often encourages family therapy with or without an unwilling party, e.g. the mother. It seems like it would at least be productive for Cantibile's son to see a therapist who could help him find productive ways to address his wife and child, if just talking between Cantabile and his son is not enough, and then if that works out, maybe all involved parties could eventually be roped in. It sure as hell doesn't sound like things are going to get any better with the status quo.

And as weird as the panties-sniffing is, I'd be most concerned about the secret pictures on the phone of other girls, because that is not something I would be ok with a classmate doing to a hypothetical 12-year-old girl without her knowledge. If I were another parent I'd probably raise hell and get the school involved. That shit should be stopped ASAP.

[Shryke]

The sad thing is where I grew up it was common for folks to recommend confused young lads consult the parish catholic priest when they had issues like this. FFS, that was like telling your kid to jump into the lion's den after smearing them with raw meat.

Yes, cause every single parish priest touched little boys.

Certainly none of them could be seen as a confidential source of support.

[Ixodes]

Yes, cause every single parish priest touched little boys.

Certainly none of them could be seen as a confidential source of support.

As a knowledge building exercise, why don't you google how much the American Roman Catholic Church has paid in settlements for abuse claims. Why don't you look at those numbers and consider, just for a moment, that even though not every priest was a child molester, that enough of them raped boys to necessitate the church to pay BILLIONS to shut up victims. The church has a systemic problem that was covered up for decades. Sorry dude, even if the problem was only 4% of priests that is way too high.

[TrueMetis]

Yes, cause every single parish priest touched little boys.

Certainly none of them could be seen as a confidential source of support.

These are people who aren't allowed to have sex and whose doctrine teaches all forms of sex are a sin with some being punishable by death. Not exactly the best support for a young kid who's confused sexually even if you ignore the kid touching.

[MercenaryChef]

I wonder how involved a grandfather (or other relatives) can actually get. I remember that Stego had some nephews and nieces (?) a few years back that were in some really dire straits, and he really couldn't "do" anything about it.

If Stego can't cause a relative to do the right thing vis a vis their kids, what chance does a less physically imposing (I imagine, because Stego is pretty damn imposing) person have?

equating physical prowess to being able come off as a caring, loving and knowledgeable loved one who can provide insight on such a possibly immense family crisis is simply asinine.