Sniffing Sister's and Mother's Panties

[Spoony]

equating physical prowess to being able come off as a caring, loving and knowledgeable loved one who can provide insight on such a possibly immense family crisis is simply asinine.

To prove you wrong, I am going to petition that the next strong man competition contains this sort of contest.

[Shryke]

Being completely serious, I will say that most religious leaders are taught some kind of counseling, although it's not as rigorous as a degree in counseling/social work, and is nowhere near PhD (psychologist) level.

Exactly. I haven't encountered a Christian (or Jewish) denomination where your priest/pastor/rabbi/whatever wasn't trained to some degree in counseling. It's part of what they do.

As for the specific example of Catholic Priest above, you had like a 95% chance (the highest number quoted that I've ever seen is about 5%) that your priest would do nothing but help. You'd be in more danger driving your kid to see the priest.

[Stego]

If Stego can't cause a relative to do the right thing vis a vis their kids...

Ehh, it's impossible to make anyone do anything they don't want to do with regards to their children, short of committing a serious felony or 3. I considered it. Hell, I considered it again yesterday while babysitting.

I genuinely think that if I had taken pictures of their home as it was yesterday, I could have swayed a judge.

Anyway, I try to be zen about it and buy kids lots of soap and books.

The sad thing is where I grew up it was common for folks to recommend confused young lads consult the parish catholic priest when they had issues like this. FFS, that was like telling your kid to jump into the lion's den after smearing them with raw meat.

I couldn't stop giggling after reading this.

[Spastic Plastic]

Stego, what happened to those kids? I remember there was a thread about homeschooling, and you mentioned a really damn horrible situation.

[MercenaryChef]

Can't take a joke, can you?

forgive me, but all your responses in this thread have come from the standpoint of a person who would not actually want to handle a volatile and sensitive subject and instead pawn it off on a therapist or someone else.

yes, we all want our kids to be perfect. but, in fact they are likely filthy little masturbatory beasts. and what happened here vs. what happens in most situations, this child's antics became known.

as i have stated previously, it is harder to deal with these things in home rather than have a 'professional' handle it.

[Shryke]

I'd say taking pictures of other girls at school to masturbate to and jerking off in your mom's undies kinda push this a bit beyond the normal.

[Litewraith]

I usually just lurk around here, cause I love reading these forums and seeing the regular people about, but I feel I need to add something to this thread.

I had a some pretty dominating parents. I know they loved me but nevertheless they pretty much tried to control my every move, with sexual exploration being discouraged if not outright reviled and the idea of privacy or private space being a pipe-dream. As a result I never really trusted my parents or even got anything remotely resembling a real and healthy relationship until I was about 25 and on my own for about 6-7 years, and gained a lot of resentment towards them. Now I know they loved me, but there was always that nagging feeling that they didn't trust me enough so they had to spy well until the day I moved out at 18, or respect me enough to just talk to me and ask me that caused a large rift between me and them (and by extension the rest of my family).

Now I know the story is anecdotal, and my story might not necessarily be true for everyone, but I really do recommend for his sake and the sake of your family to really try to push the fact that your son needs to have a long chat with your grandson. If your grandson founds out he is being spied on, or have his youthful sexual exploration repressed, then it could do some damage to him and his relationship with his family.

On the other notes, the panties stuff is weird but as others have stated, it sounds more like he is exploring his sexuality then anything else. The photos on the other hand... that needs to be dealt with immediately. If any of the parents of the girls find out, there will be severe consequences for him. It needs to be stopped immediately.

Well that pretty much ends the rant from the lurker. If you don't mind I need to go hide in the shadows some more.

[Spoony]

If you don't mind I need to go hide in the shadows some more.

We have flashlights.

[MercenaryChef]

"Pawn it off"? Hardly. It's best to get a professional to help the situation.

If I'm having a party for 100, I call a caterer. If I'm starting a small business, I'd call a lawyer. There are some things that you can't do by yourself and often, especially with things such as this (rather than catering and small business formation), the volatility and sensitivity of the situation can be such that it can be harmful if not handled appropriately.

what of the millions and millions of us who made it through youth and adolescent sexual discovery and confusion without a professional?

i truly believe that something like this should initially be handled with love and sensitivity within the home. the child so far is very innocent. he is breaking boundaries and betraying trusts. but, it can be handled in the home. there is no reason to make the child believe that what he is feeling is wrong and bad.

think of it as a child for a moment. when you go to the doctor you are sick or injured. if you are going to a therapist how would you see it? likely the very same way. what he is doing is not channeled appropriately but is not wrong or bad.

and considering therapy is not exactly a refined science you would have to find one that would counsel in a manner conjunction with how you feel. if you think it is awful, find a therapist who agrees. if you think he just needs help channeling his feelings and hormones that therapist exists as well.

but, i think the base handling should be by the family in a sensitive and loving manner. and yes, it will suck.

[Spoony]

I think this kid is going to be alright.

People do some pretty strange things when they first discover sex.

He will undoubtably turn out alright even if things take a turn for the worse, despite his volatile mother.

It would be helpful if he could get some understanding and direct reasonable conversation from his father, or any older sympathetic member of the family - but I don't see this happening unless this actually does explode inside the family, and Cantabile will have an excuse to be able to build some more bridges with his grandson by offering that to him.

I think invading this kid's privacy is a big mistake because of how violating it is - especially as it will undoubtedly be discovered by the kid, who will simply become even more angry and secretive because of it.

It is also creepy. No individual deserves this, not even an adolescent individual.

The only good I can see coming out of this is the potential escapism that Cantabile's grandson will probably foster as a result of his home life. Which I hope, will be something along the lines of reading books, instead of something more dangerous or intellectually disatisfying.

[Spoony]

I would also like to say that violating your child's privacy is a horrible lesson to teach them.

Children learn by example, and nothing good can come by this sort of example.

EDIT: 7,081 views. Oh my.

[Cantabile]

The only good I can see coming out of this is the potential escapism that Cantabile's grandson will probably foster as a result of his home life. Which I hope, will be something along the lines of reading books, instead of something more dangerous or intellectually disatisfying.

I'm not sure if more escapism is desirable in his situation. He has a few friends, and has a lot going for him as a kid, but is incredibly withdrawn into himself already. Around two years or so ago my son was incredibly worried about him, because he had absolutely zero friends, showed no interest in society, and lived in his own shell. Now, there's nothing wrong with being introverted, I'm not saying that at all. This is a book forum, and I'm sure many of us have preferred books to people at some point. When I was a teenage I shunned the world and stayed locked up in my room with my violin, and I don't think it harmed me at all. However, my son was worried that my grandson was developing sociopathic tendencies, because he showed a complete lack of empathy and care for other people due to being so withdrawn at the time. Things have improved drastically since then, and he no longer manipulates people, but he is still pretty escapist already as it is. It is a shame, because when he was younger he was such a bright, sweet, and affectionate child. Basically a human teddy bear, bringing warmth and smiles to anyone around him. Makes me sad to realize he lost that, but he's still a sweet kid, just needs a nudge in the right direction.

[Jaxtile]

Bust out that violin and teach him to play. The girlfriend problem will be solved the instant he goes to choir class.

*nods*

[Spoony]

I'd be careful with any sort of sociopathic label. Being introverted, or emotionally cut off is completly different from lacking remorse or guilt.

My mom thought that my older brother was a sociopath for a while, but she was completly wrong, and was letting her worry drive her towards fearful bias.

I almost feel as if you and your family are worrying too much about this kid.

He needs time and space to figure out who he is, and who he wants to be.

That being said, getting him interested in choir or playing a musical instrument seems to be a good idea.

EDIT: Part of me can't believe he got caught doing what he did.

It is bad enough that he is sniffing his families underwear, but it is almost worse that he was inept enough to get caught doing this.

[Spoony]

I wish this had happened around Christmas. Because this would have been a great holiday thread.

[Kosciuszko]

If we can keep this one going we could get Roman numerals. Then we can talk holiday threads.

[Spoony]

Well, I think this is going to continue to develop, and I'll be surprised if Cantabile doesn't keep us posted.

Maybe this board could adopt his grandkids. This message board has more people in it than most villages.

[Cantabile]

I still don't feel like I got a fair answer on whether or not Cantabile is Alec Guiness or not.

Didn't he die a few years ago? Trust me, if I had resurrective abilities I'd have started my own religion and be chilling on a private island at the moment ;)

EDIT: Part of me can't believe he got caught doing what he did.

It is bad enough that he is sniffing his families underwear, but it is almost worse that he was inept enough to get caught doing this.

I'm kinda' relieved he got caught before it possibly became a bigger habit, or progressed. I'd much rather him be an inept panties thief than an evil mastermind of underwear thievery, with his own cult in Japan.

If we can keep this one going we could get Roman numerals. Then we can talk holiday threads.

I pray that this whole issue is solved long before Christmas. It's supposed to be a holiday where families come together and bond, and as is I can't picture a very merry Christmas. Can you imagine opening up your present on Christmas morning and finding a chastity belt inside?

Well, they should be checking the keylogger soon. He has a 9:00 bedtime on school nights. Hopefully I'll get an update from my son via text.

[CloudFlare]

I'm not sure if more escapism is desirable in his situation. He has a few friends, and has a lot going for him as a kid, but is incredibly withdrawn into himself already. Around two years or so ago my son was incredibly worried about him, because he had absolutely zero friends, showed no interest in society, and lived in his own shell. Now, there's nothing wrong with being introverted, I'm not saying that at all. This is a book forum, and I'm sure many of us have preferred books to people at some point. When I was a teenage I shunned the world and stayed locked up in my room with my violin, and I don't think it harmed me at all. However, my son was worried that my grandson was developing sociopathic tendencies, because he showed a complete lack of empathy and care for other people due to being so withdrawn at the time. Things have improved drastically since then, and he no longer manipulates people, but he is still pretty escapist already as it is. It is a shame, because when he was younger he was such a bright, sweet, and affectionate child. Basically a human teddy bear, bringing warmth and smiles to anyone around him. Makes me sad to realize he lost that, but he's still a sweet kid, just needs a nudge in the right direction.

I'm not any sort of therapist, I haven't read the entire thread, and what I have read is a bit muddled from cramming for finals all day, but the bold part just SCREAMS that your grandson has been emotionally and/or physically. Teens going through emotional upheaval stages is normal and expected, but I've never seen it in younger children without some sort of abuse or dramatic change in their situation.

You need to get past the psycho wife and your doormat son and go directly to your grandson. Let him know that you're there for him. You also need to stand up to psycho wife to show him that she doesn't control the family.

[CloudFlare]

It'd be a perfect time for him to stand up to her, but I don't realistically see it happening. He didn't stand up to her when she broke his arm, gave him a concussion, or set fire to his possessions, so I doubt he will this time either. I am wondering if I should intervene and try talking to her, or just stay out of it :\

As so many before have said:

Wow.

Your grandson's panty fetish is the least of your problems. Your family members are living with a time bomb. They're going to end up with busted limbs if they're lucky, a .38 to the head if they're unlucky. Massive 3rd degree burns if they're really unlucky.

Call the fucking cops and report this.