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A bully getting what he deserves.


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Thank you. My path is indeed one to admire, I think. Overcoming adversity and all that. Gives me serenity, to reflect on my accomplishments in some areas.

I also find it admirable that I, as an adult, do not wish harm upon children, and find it deeply disturbing that some grown men and women do find good in the harm a child suffered.

And yes, not all can follow the path I took, or take. Never said anyone was required to do so.

You've never been in a really bad situation, a really violent situation. You know what happened to Buddhist monks who apposed communist governments through peaceful means? They died.

There is a line to walk, you have to know it. You can't be passive and roll over all of your life, nor can you walk around attacking people.

Justified is such a tricky word.

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You've never been in a really bad situation, a really violent situation. You know what happened to Buddhist monks who apposed communist governments through peaceful means? They died.

There is a line to walk, you have to know it. You can't be passive and roll over all of your life, nor can you walk around attacking people.

Justified is such a tricky word.

If i had to guess i'd imagine RiL would think those monks were right, and that they won. Maybe she's correct. Its just that most of us prefer not to be martyrs.

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I generally read through an entire thread before I contribute, but in this case I found many of the posts in the first half of the thread really triggering and thus skipped to the last page before posting. I apologize if the discussion has moved on, but I think it's important in principle, even if it ends up having no real effect, to tell what I know from my experience to be the case so people will be more careful in the future.

I was bullied intermittently throughout school. Much of it was verbal, though some of it was physical in a way that wasn't recognized as such by authority figures who had little experience with or knowledge of people with autism spectrum disorders. Some of my first memories of school involve people chasing me around the schoolyard calling me a monster because of my facial deformities. I would cry around my caretakers and not tell them what happened, because as far as I knew from the fact that the teachers just stood there and watch, no one would care or try to help me. After a few good years where I was surrounded by other odd people, some of whom could and showed themselves willing to physically defend me from others when necessary (and I appreciated that more than you can imagine), I was alone again and it started up. This time, someone found out that certain noises caused me extreme amounts of pain and fear, and made sure that everyone around me knew. That person themselves at one point caught me alone and chased me through the school making such noises until I locked myself in a storage closet and wouldn't let anyone come in until they could prove they were a teacher and that they were completely alone. Again, the authority figures who were in a position to stop this were worse than useless. I was punished for striking out when people would try to hurt and scare me, and I was even punished for trying to avoid other kids entirely. I became physically assaultive and closed off from other people, and started having repeated nightmares, and was eventually diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder because of the bullying. Shortly after, when I switched schools, people started bullying me on the basis of both my appearance and my sensory problems, and again most people stood by and did nothing. I finally got friends again a couple years later, which stopped random people from bothering me, but by this time I was messed up to the point that I was taking crap even from the people who I thought liked me.

If I've done well since all this, it's because I'm lucky. What didn't kill me didn't necessarily make me stronger. I'm just the kind of person, and always have been, who could get up and keep going. If I had been otherwise, my abusers could have completely ruined my life. Because of that, I haven't forgiven or forgotten the people who abused me or the people who let them do so, and I certainly don't credit them with helping me. Because of them, I still struggle with setting boundaries and knowing whether how someone is treating me is within the range of acceptable or not, overcompensating from years of being told I was "oversensitive" by the people who were supposed to protect me. Furthermore, a lot of my worldview is through the lens of trauma, victimization and power disparities, and I think that these experiences are in large part responsible for that.

In general, because of my experiences, it's my belief that if the authority figures fail in their responsibilities to protect innocent people from abuse by their peers, they can hardly complain when the victim strikes back, and their doing so will only compound any trauma caused by the initial bullying. Such people have no right to authority at all, and if it were my choice, teachers and school administrators who turn a blind eye to bullying should lose their jobs and not be able to work with children again. I'm glad to read that some schools are now punishing bullies AND bystanders, and I hope that this trend continues. I would like to see enhanced consequences for bullying, including some indication on transcripts and other records that would affect admission into higher level of schooling, be it high schools that require an admissions process or college. I honestly don't care if such people were bullied or abused themselves. Even to the extent that is true (and, in my experience, it hasn't been - the bullies I have known have been privileged twats, and the "feel sorry for the bully" story has been a means of dismissing the actual victims), people have the choice to avoid becoming abusers themselves. They shouldn't get to hide behind their pasts when it comes to harming innocent people. Finally, I really hope that such lines as "sticks and stones" and "just ignore them" die a well-deserved death one of these days, before more people are hurt and/or hurt themselves because of bullying.

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Thanks to all of you who have so honestly and courageously relayed your stories. They allow most of us to come together in empathy, compassion, and understanding.

It makes me feel only slightly guilty for dedicating this next song to Res.

<Clearing throat> Ahem.

<Lounge lizard voice> To dreeeeeam the impossible dreeeeeam, to fiiiiiiight the unbeatabe foooooooe, to beeear with unbearable sooooooroooooooow....

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[mod hat]

Consider this the last warning to the thread about staying above the personal attacks. Comment on the substance, not the person who's making those points.

[/mod hat]

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And yes, not all can follow the path I took, or take. Never said anyone was required to do so.

What? Now I'm just confused.

Yeah, maybe you didn't say "required," but throughout your participation in this thread, you've made a lot of points about how Casey should have reacted, and you certainly condemned Casey's actions in this case. So, I'm not seeing that bright of a line between you not thinking that everything needs to follow your model of behavior and what you're actually saying.

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