Spider From Mars Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 I am an avid people-watcher, and one of the most interesting aspects of human behavior to observe is how we flirt. I am starting this thread to discuss how we engage in flirting, how we receive and possibly reciprocate flirting, and what general strategies seem to work or fail. In my experience, women are more often the target of flirting from men (especially aggressive flirting) and I wanted to get the female boarders’ perspective on where they feel the line between appropriate and inappropriate flirting behavior lies. And if there are any male boarders here who care to admit to cat-calling, what is your thought process going into it?For example, this weekend I saw a horrid display of inappropriate behavior in flirting. A high school JV cheerleading squad was having a donation carwash in a Sonic parking lot. The young women were almost universally wearing bikini tops and jean shorts. They were also either undeniably under, or questionably close to, the legal age of consent in the state of Virginia. A fire truck had gone through the drive-thru at the Sonic and had the opportunity to read the same signs as I did to accurately gauge the age of the young women. This did not, however, stop them from blowing their horn and leaning out to share their thoughts on how “hot” these girls were and to launch an inquiry into their virginity before the light turned green.I would label the actions of the firemen inappropriate even if they had been leering and shouting at a sorority bikini car wash because I have always thought cat-calling behavior was vulgar. There are tasteful ways to demonstrate appreciation for an attractive person that do not seemed guaranteed to invoke a negative or defensive reaction from the intended target.Staring seems to be the most common form of flirting, so I am wondering at what point does it transition from a welcome stare to a creepy leer? Appropriate staring while flirting is in my opinion mostly limited to making eye contact, perhaps smiling, and letting the other person catch you looking at them a few more times while around each other. It is a good sign if they let you catch them staring as well. This has been my limit for flirting after being married, but I do find myself engaging in quite a few of these little dances during the day to assure myself that I am still marginally attractive and to try and offer reciprocity to brighten a woman’s day.So, anyone else want to talk about flirting? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercenaryChef Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 There is flirting and harassing. These firemen were doing the latter, and on the job as well. These are not random people. A fire engine is a rather traceable piece of equipment. I would be thrilled to see these fucking morons come get their due when parents and lawyers come knocking at the fire house doors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shryke Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 None of the things mentioned in the title are "flirting".Flirting actually has the chance to get you laid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smashing Young Man Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 None of the things mentioned in the title are "flirting".Flirting actually has the chance to get you laid.What has a chance of getting one laid doesn't exist untethered from one's looks and/or bank account. If you're well provisioned in one or both of those, you can dally about in what for other guys would be harassment territory.A poor ugly guy driving a 1995 Ford Taurus: "Wanna jump in my car and suck my dick?"Just-met Woman: *screams in horror*A wealthy handsome guy driving a 2010 Mustang Cobra: "Wanna jump in my car and suck my dick?"Just-met Woman: "Hell yeah!" *jumps in car*The above scenario assumes neither of the involved parties are public servants in uniform or underage girls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shryke Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Oh man, apparently you know women as well as anything else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Being David Bowie means I don't have to flirt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Scot A Ellison Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 SYM,:shocked: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smegma Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 LOL MUSTANG COBRA *slurp*Oh god, LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexia Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 What has a chance of getting one laid doesn't exist untethered from one's looks and/or bank account. If you're well provisioned in one or both of those, you can dally about in what for other guys would be harassment territory.:lol:Well, that's certainly one way to explain your difficulty in picking up the girls... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spider From Mars Posted July 5, 2011 Author Share Posted July 5, 2011 None of the things mentioned in the title are "flirting".Flirting actually has the chance to get you laid.That’s a large part of what I’m getting at: how does the misperception that naked aggressions in flirting equals naked companionship keep being perpetuated? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mormont Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 That's a large part of what I'm getting at: how does the misperception that naked aggressions in flirting equals naked companionship keep being perpetuated?You're begging the question somewhat. Why do you believe that behaviour such as you describe in the OP is intended to get 'naked companionship'? Is it really about getting laid? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 The actions of the firemen were in no way for the benefit of the girls. They were just showing off in front of each other rather than making any serious attempt at gaining female approval. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dornish Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Criticizing someone for sexualizing women at a nearly-topless carwash seems to me about as reasonable as leveling the same criticism at patrons of a strip club. Like it or not, the product these young women are selling is not a clean car. If you think otherwise, how much money do you think the school AV club could make with the same event? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kungtotte Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 While I think cat-calling and the like is pretty retarded in general, I also don't really feel bad for women engaged in a bikini car-wash getting cat-called, because they are engaged in a bikini car-wash. The entire exercise is designed to get men to drool and part ways with their money.At least the firemen were just being stupid for a couple of minutes then drove off. What about all the guys who go to get their car washed and then hang around to leer? Surely that's worse from a vulgarity point of view?LOL MUSTANG COBRA *slurp*Oh god, LOLI know, right? I mean if it had been a nice car like a Ferrari or something... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trebla Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 I drive a Mustang. Come to Trebla, ladies!!! :pimp: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord of Oop North Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Criticizing someone for sexualizing women at a nearly-topless carwash seems to me about as reasonable as leveling the same criticism at patrons of a strip club. Like it or not, the product these young women are selling is not a clean car. If you think otherwise, how much money do you think the school AV club could make with the same event?But they weren't nearly topless at all. They were all wearing tops. That's pretty clearly not nearly topless.It's ridiculous to say that because these underage women were scantily clad, that these firemen were justified in their crude and harassing behaviour. Obviously you can't stop them from staring and making a few comments to each other, but there is definitely a line. Inquiring as to their virginity is likely that line. They're adults, and they should fucking know better. Sorry.What you are basically saying is that it is okay for us to sexually harass women, if they are dressed in manner that appears sexy. Because they are asking for it, I suppose? Absolutely ridiculous. But if that is the case, I will tell my crew that they can feel free to harass every beautiful woman who walks down the sidewalk in anything more revealing than an amish shift. They're asking to be objectified, after all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dornish Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 But they weren't nearly topless at all. They were all wearing tops. That's pretty clearly not nearly topless.It's ridiculous to say that because these underage women were scantily clad, that these firemen were justified in their crude and harassing behaviour. They're adults, and they should fucking know better. Sorry.The product is not a clean car, but a pretense. If it were a bunch of pasty nerdy boys washing the cars you wouldn't see nearly as much attendance. Whether they know it or not the girls are acting as minor league sex workers. That is what is happening. I'm sorry that makes you uncomfortable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 FFS. Even if they were naked prostitutes hanging out of a brothel window, there's still no fucking excuse for that sort of rudeness. Jesus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord of Oop North Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 I realize exactly what is happening, but the firefighters (and anyone else, really) bear the burden here. It's their responsibility not to be fucking animals and act like, I don't know, civilized adults. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dornish Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 FFS. Even if they were naked prostitutes hanging out of a brothel window, there's still no fucking excuse for that sort of rudeness. Jesus.To some extent, yes. All I'm really saying is, as much as they may protest to the contrary, no one goes to Hooters for the wings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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