Howdyphillip Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Do you know why Texas doesn't just fall into the ocean?Because Oklahoma SUCKS !!!!!!! California...Southern California is full of people who are obnoxiously pretentious, and northern California is full of people who are obnoxiously pretentious about not being pretentious. Florida...The further south you go, the more north it gets and South Florida is filled with people who were kicked out of New York for being too rude.For all of the TEXAS haters out there, I will leave you with a saying that Davy Crocket said while addressing the US congress" You may all go to hell, and I will go to Texas !!!!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seventh Pup Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 The stranger,So are people from Oregon incapable of pumping their own gasoline or too snooty to pump their own gasoline?:PSeriously. It never fails, the gas attendants ALWAYS scare me when I’m about to get out and pump my gas. In order of biasSub Washington- Also known as Oregon. The state that wishes it could be as awesome as the Evergreen State, but can’t quite pull it off. What’s that Beaver state? No come back. (And no a long brutal history of Husky/ Dick Duck rivalry has nothing to with this!) California- Stop sending us people.Idaho- Keep your tatter bugs out of our tatters.Alaska- PalinMontana- Seriously your state never ends. It’s like you start driving through it, and you never stop. I’m still driving through Montana, from that road trip I took when I was 8. Damn you Montana, your full of childhood stealing sky.Hawaii- Homeless much?Nevada- Via stinking nicotine scent artifice. Wyoming/ North/ South Dakota: You have 10 people in your state, you don’t matter.Colorado- JonBenét Patricia RamseyUtah- If you want to marry your underage cousin Utah is the place for you.Arizona- The Gun hoarding, Xenophobic, Political Shoot Out State. And you have a ton of pit bulls. Jerks. New Mexico- Why must you confuse Bugs Bunny so. Animal Haters.Nebraska- Huskers? Really that is the best mascot you could come up with? Why not just have a duck? Kansas- What an ugly grey state.Oklahoma- Full of dusky Okies. Texas- Don’t Mess With Texas, was an anti-litter campaign slogan. Stop making like you are so badass. Your wimps, you couldn’t even hold the Alamo, which is also a sucky car rental company just so you know.Minnesota- You talk weirdIowa- Children of the Corn. Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Tennessee, Alabama- Hate States Illinois- Chicago is the second city, never to be first get over it! Wisconsin- My crazy family lives there. Ergo everyone there is crazy.All the rest of you I am out of time and need to get work done but rest assured you are all subpar, lacking, tacky, or in some way a complete failure. Can you all just leave the union already? K- THX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalThor Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Having grown up in Michigan and Indiana I have a deep distrust of Ohio and Kentucky.As far as the 50 States go, as Michigander I'm all for removing Ohio and just moving everything else up or over, as the case may be. And I didn't even attend U of M.(I'll make an exception for Columbus though, it's a pretty cool place.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Masonity Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 I have to admit, i'm pretty biassed towards solid. Liquid I'm okay with, but gas can just fuck off. Gasses are just all so flakey!And don't get me started on these new states! Lets win matter back for the old fashion three! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaime L Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 For all of the TEXAS haters out there, I will leave you with a saying that Davy Crocket said while addressing the US congress" You may all go to hell, and I will go to Texas !!!!!"So I guess we'll see that fucker there. Ohio? Check out this hastily made advertisement for Still one of my favorites.Nebraska- Huskers? Really that is the best mascot you could come up with? Why not just have a duck? 7th, you threw down on Oregon but now you're recommending Nebraska get the same mascot? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanteGabriel Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 In order of biasSub Washington- Also known as Oregon. The state that wishes it could be as awesome as the Evergreen State, but can’t quite pull it off. What’s that Beaver state? No come back. (And no a long brutal history of Husky/ Dick Duck rivalry has nothing to with this!) California- Stop sending us people.My buddy who grew up in Washington calls Oregon "the Buffer State." ;)I grew up in California and live in Massachusetts. I pretty much regard any place more than 100 miles from the ocean as an uncultured province. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
awesome possum Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Almost forgot. Having lived in Indiana I have a deep loathing for pretty much all of Indiana. A few parts are okay, but the rest of this state can go jump off a cliff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seventh Pup Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 So what is your actual problem with Oregon? They're like a smaller clone of the state you profess to love, but they just have a way better college football team which has beaten the living tar out of yours for like 8 straight years.That and they sent their best gent up here to woo me, now for the last few years I must hear him quackle err crackle at the misery of my poor dear dogs. Even though said dogs help pays half the rent. They make them cruel in Oregon, cruel but so devastatingly charming... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seventh Pup Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Then what are you raving about?*Jaime voice*Cruelty, fear, injustice in a word... Oregon.Of having been up for 40hrs straight and having a bad case of the Tired Jollies. Perhaps a bit of both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Raidne Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Every one of them except the great state of Michigan.This. And just like that, I forgive you again. I have a prejudice toward people from upstate New York. They are all over DC like an infestation of faux-shoddy loafers topped with prep school t-shirts. They say things like "I'm from the country." Ha! Country! Guess what? "Country" is actually, in some parts of the country, not real estate code for acerage with 4000 sq ft on it. And yes, I get it, the were (gasp) poor(ish) people in the same county. Wow, you really are a man of the people! They are destined to marry girls with horn-rimmed glasses who read Sylvia Plath and experimented with lesbianism as Wellesley. I fully understand that I am friendly with a few people here who fall into this group, and I just want to take a second to say that I'm not even primarily thinking of you. It's that bad. Except the flipping sailboat. Come on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tormund Ukrainesbane Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 So what is your actual problem with Oregon? They're like a smaller clone of the state you profess to love, but they just have a way better college football team which has beaten the living tar out of yours for like 8 straight years. Oregon is bigger than Washington. Also more geographically diverse. And has a lower asshole count since Seattle isn't there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seventh Pup Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Oregon is bigger than Washington. Also more geographically diverse. And has a lower asshole count since Seattle isn't there.Have you been to Portland? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tormund Ukrainesbane Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Have you been to Portland? Portland is full of hipster douchebags, an important distinction from assholes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seventh Pup Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Even more proof that Oregon is evil is that the gent they sent up here to woo me, has even convinced me have my wedding there. It's a dastardly cunning plan, that it ensures I must venture into Sub Washington at least several more times this summer! <_<And with that my fair travelers and what not I think my bed hath awaith perhapth to long.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S John Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Really Raids? I generally like upstate New Yorkers. I have good friends from Binghamton, Syracuse, and Buffalo. But they don't fit the mold you seem to be speaking of either. I don't think any of them sail, for one. I'd say upstate NY is somewhere that I could hypothetically live one day. Pretty, at least. And this next bit isn't meant to appease you in any way - but I have also found that I generally get along with people from Michigan as well. I don't know what it is, I grew up in a place that felt very 'rust-belt' so maybe its the 'hey we're both from cold, grey, and generally kinda shitty places' camaraderie. I'll also put myself out there and say that I like both Texas AND Florida. I bought a 6 pack of Busch Light at a convenience store in Texas and noted that the cans all had an outline of the state of Texas on them. I just.. I just couldn't look at that and not think... fuck yea. As for Florida, I don't mind heat/humidity, I like the beach, have lots of family down there. I could definitely handle it. It is full of crazy people, though.The only two states I've been to and actively dislike are Indiana and Oklahoma. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Scot A Ellison Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 I dislike States that lack real seasonal change. The grass turning brown during the Winter does not count. Hence, I dislike Florida. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaime L Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 The only two states I've been to and actively dislike are Indiana and Oklahoma.Wha', why? Just seems like an odd pairing. I am a bit surprised by the Oklahoma hate in this thread. But I didn't know Oklahoma had enough going for it to be actively hated so I feel bad for it. Even God seems to hate the place - he keeps trying to kill it with tornadoes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Stranger Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Yeah...I find Seattle opinions on Oregon kinda cute, because they try so hard to pull off east coast-style urbanite condescension and just come across as people who have never looked at an atlas. seriously, in addition to Oregon being bigger, more geographically diverse, and downright nicer than Washington, our true trump card is the fact we don't have to claim ownership of a town as miserable as Seattle. i always thought well of the place as a kid, but then after starting to go there as an adult...wow. from the human garbage that is Seattle sports fandom, to the skittish attempts to paper over bitter feelings of not being as cultured as SF or as hip as Portland, Seattle is a Perfect Storm of white collar migrant labor jag-offery sprinkled with a dollop of ugly buildings, finished off with a side of unfathomably bad traffic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerraPrime Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Yeah...I find Seattle opinions on Oregon kinda cute, because they try so hard to pull off east coast-style urbanite condescension and just come across as people who have never looked at an atlas. seriously, in addition to Oregon being bigger, more geographically diverse, and downright nicer than Washington, our true trump card is the fact we don't have to claim ownership of a town as miserable as Seattle. i always thought well of the place as a kid, but then after starting to go there as an adult...wow. from the human garbage that is Seattle sports fandom, to the skittish attempts to paper over bitter feelings of not being as cultured as SF or as hip as Portland, Seattle is a Perfect Storm of white collar migrant labor jag-offery sprinkled with a dollop of ugly buildings, finished off with a side of unfathomably bad traffic.Ahoy! 'tis the Stranger! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Raidne Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 John, I agree. The whole Fuck Yeah ethos of Texas is kInd of hard to resist. If only I didn't hate all Texans but Annie, Mandy, et al.Maybe I'm biased by knowing a mess of lawyers from upstate New York? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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