All's Fair in Love and Politics

[Kelli Fury]

That's really offensive. Large amounts of women (now including "Roe") are anti-abortion. It comes down to whether or not the unborn humans have human rights, not men vs women.

I'm not going further into the abortion right/wrong argument and derail the thread with that (nobody wants another one of THOSE). But, restrictions on abortion very often DO become misogynist in ways that have nothing to do with fetuses. Just look at recent bills that attempt to change the legal definition of rape in order to prevent or remove funding from abortions performed on rape victims. I don't know how anyone cannot call that misogynist. It would prevent many rape victims who do not become pregnant from having legal recourse, which should be unacceptable no matter what your ideology. By and large, the same groups who fund campaigns to tighten abortion restrictions also look to restrict access to birth control and women's health services and teach abstinence only sex ed. To me, the obvious place to start if you don't like abortion is to prevent the pregnancy to begin with. Teach every type of birth control, make it free and easily available, make a pregnancy financially viable for low income women. In a society where women are provided with every tool to prevent a pregnancy if they would like to and keep a baby if they become pregnant, I might agree with prolife/antichoice people. In fact, if you prevent it where you can and support the child where you can't, then sign me up, I'll be pro life too. Until then, it seems like the majority are punishing women for what they view as promiscuity. If you knew me better, you'd know I have a lot of compassion for babies. I'm a woman who cannot have any of my own, despite all effort. A week ago I lost a 12 week pregnancy. I know what an unborn baby looks like, I've held more than one in my hands, I do not value them less than you do.

[Mya Stone]

Sigh. Did this thread really become another abortion debate?

ETA: Kay...I'm mentally hugging you. Don't be weirded out.

[Kelli Fury]

I don't think you can avoid abortion when talking about relationships and political differences, since that's the one most likely to have a direct impact on your relationship. My stance on trade with Cuba is not going to matter much in my life with my fiancee, but what the options are in event of pregnancy would but for extenuating circumstances on my part.

[Asarlai]

I'm not going further into the abortion right/wrong argument and derail the thread with that (nobody wants another one of THOSE). But, restrictions on abortion very often DO become misogynist in ways that have nothing to do with fetuses. Just look at recent bills that attempt to change the legal definition of rape in order to prevent or remove funding from abortions performed on rape victims. I don't know how anyone cannot call that misogynist. It would prevent many rape victims who do not become pregnant from having legal recourse, which should be unacceptable no matter what your ideology. By and large, the same groups who fund campaigns to tighten abortion restrictions also look to restrict access to birth control and women's health services and teach abstinence only sex ed. To me, the obvious place to start if you don't like abortion is to prevent the pregnancy to begin with. Teach every type of birth control, make it free and easily available, make a pregnancy financially viable for low income women. In a society where women are provided with every tool to prevent a pregnancy if they would like to and keep a baby if they become pregnant, I might agree with prolife/antichoice people. In fact, if you prevent it where you can and support the child where you can't, then sign me up, I'll be pro life too. Until then, it seems like the majority are punishing women for what they view as promiscuity. If you knew me better, you'd know I have a lot of compassion for babies. I'm a woman who cannot have any of my own, despite all effort. A week ago I lost a 12 week pregnancy. I know what an unborn baby looks like, I've held more than one in my hands, I do not value them less than you do.

Saying there are a lot of misogynist people against abortion is accurate; saying the position itself is misogynist is inaccurate. And for the record, I do think that birth control needs to be available, and the adoption system needs a major reworking. But you can still drop off a baby at a fire station no questions asked. It may not be an ideal life for the child, but I'd rather be an orphan than dead.

I'm very sorry for what you've been through, it sounds terrible. I realize it's important to remember that people in disagreement are still people, with many experiences and views influencing their positions.

Sigh. Did this thread really become another abortion debate?

When I realized what I had done, I tried to make it about incestuous marriage. Now I think I'll just stop with the abortion posts. It's like the #1 topic where you can't convince anybody to change their minds. There may be hope for the incestuous marriage thing, though.

[Mya Stone]

I don't think you can avoid abortion when talking about relationships and political differences, since that's the one most likely to have a direct impact on your relationship. My stance on trade with Cuba is not going to matter much in my life with my fiancee, but what the options are in event of pregnancy would but for extenuating circumstances on my part.

I totally agree that agreeable abortion stances are important in a relationship, I just sigh at how many threads end up in yet another Board Abortion Debate.

[Asarlai]

I totally agree that agreeable abortion stances are important in a relationship, I just sigh at how many threads end up in yet another Board Abortion Debate.

?

[MeanMrMustard]

i once dated a girl who preferred the monkees to the beatles.

[Edda van Heefmstra Ruston]

The important word in that sentence is 'once', right?

[Asarlai]

i once dated a girl who preferred the monkees to the beatles.

Can we assume this anecdote is related to your use of the past tense?

I don't know about how you handled it, but, personally, I would have ended up shouting something about John Lennon through my tears while hitting a punching bag at 3am after six attempts to forget the incident by consuming Lennon-esque quantities of LSD.

[MeanMrMustard]

we bonded over the kinks.

but yes, of course she got the boot.

[Bronn Stone]

i once dated a girl who preferred the monkees to the beatles.

The important word in that sentence is 'once', right?

we bonded over the kinks.

but yes, of course she got the boot.

Even in the 6th grade, the cruel streak had manifested itself.

[MeanMrMustard]

some have called it "charm"

[Selmy]

I suppose I could date a girl that was mildly conservative, socially or fiscally. But it'd be weird.

I probably couldn't date a girl that was really conservative or a tea party person. I think in the end I'd just think they were stupid, which doesn't seem like a good foundation for a relationship.

[mcbigski]

Dating across the aisle is fine with me. For something more serious than just dating, it might become an issue depending on how often political debates came up, and how much importance she placed on my conceding ground. I don't really see myself having a long term relationship with a lefty activist, for example.

And I'd never date a Yankees fan during baseball season.

[一方通行]

sure id give someone with political views different from mine a shot, as long as the weren't in or near on of the ideologies that goes beyond being wrong into being evil.

[Reposado]

To the original question, yes without thinking twice. A lot of people that are otherwise awesome have leftish views that I would consider silly.

Also, while I support abortion rights, and equal rights for gays, they are not very important issues to me. Minor stuff compared to foreign policy, drug war etc.

I would have a much harder time coexisting with someone who supported military interventionism, but actually haven't had to test myself in that realm yet.

[Snowmaiden]

Kay I have a question and it is slightly off topic. What if the plitician is just representing the majority opinion of his/her constituents? My state is majority democrat but voted 70% in favor of a gay marriage ban as a state constitutional ammendment. Would a politician who voted in line with state majority opinion still be a problem? For the record I voted against the ban, it isnt the states place to tell anyone who they can/cant marry, with some small exceptions e.g. brother-sister, man-animal, child-adult.

I'll reply to that. Many years ago it was illegal for whites to marry non-whites. The majorities in many states supported this position. It was Loving v. Virginia that changed all that. Just because the majority supports a certain position doesn't make that position correct. If the majority of people in my area supported eliminating a woman's right to vote, I would hope my congressman wouldn't support that position.

I have had friends in the past who were conservatives and that was hard. We had to stick to non-controverial topics, like the weather and tv shows or else we'd get into horrible arguments. I just can't be with a person who lacks compassion for those less fortunate. I can't be with anybody who is against environmental regualtions. Erin Brockovich anyone? I can't be with anyone who thinks that money is the most important thing in the world or that Ronald Reagan was the greatest president ever. And I cut off anyone who makes a racist comment in my presence. That I will never tolerate. Plus this whole trying to control a woman's body scares me along with the belief that Wall Street can do no wrong. Plus goodlooking guys are almost always liberal so I'm sticking with my political orientation :)

[Shryke]

I don't think you can avoid abortion when talking about relationships and political differences, since that's the one most likely to have a direct impact on your relationship. My stance on trade with Cuba is not going to matter much in my life with my fiancee, but what the options are in event of pregnancy would but for extenuating circumstances on my part.

I don't know. I think anyone supporting the Cuban Embargo is too stupid to be capable of forming a meaningful relationship with.

[Selmy]

As far as gay marriage is concerned-

The majority should never decide to which rights the minority are entitled.

[Tears of Lys]

I suppose from my view point logical and reasonable people should be able to agree in principle about most things. For example no one wants grandma to be put out on an ice floe come winter because the tribe can't feed a non productive member, but how do you afford to pay for that food?

I cant imagine caring for someone who couldn't or wouldn't be willing to at least listen to other view points and reasoned and rational arguements for or against a certain thing. I suppose the line in the sand for me would be a closed mind.

Agree wholeheartedly. Think about it - cutting someone out of your life because their political views didn't mesh with yours would eliminate awesome people like the late, great EHK.

My husband and I don't agree on politics - I voted for Obama, he voted for McCain - but I didn't hold it against him. (Although I razz him constantly about what a nightmare Sarah Palin is. :P There are some things that cannot go unnoticed!) We agree on all the things that matter, though.