ZacharyB Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 LF: Bro, listen, you've gotta let Cat go. She's dead. You killed her sister. There ain't no Tully girls left. Don't go molesting Sansa, because she and Harry the Heir will destroy you if you do (and probably even if you don't). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Oncoming Storm Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Dany: get the fuck over Daario, sack Yunkai, sack Meereen, feed the Green Grace to the dragons, team up with Tyrion, Jorah, barristan and maybe Vic, and GO TO WESTEROS.Jorah: Die for her. You might get a good bye kiss and you die a hero.Barristan: just continue being awesome. Also continue teaming with Missandei, she's badass.Daario: DIE. NOW.Quentyn: The fuck were you thinking boy? When Barristan tell you to go home, you GO HOME.Tyrion: don't bring that boring Penny with you. Also, stop whining, team up with Dany and after the war is done, go to a holiday to Braavos, Tysha is likely there. Also, divorce Sansa ASAP.Sansa: kill Littlefinger, don't marry Harry, reveal yourself and lead the Vale's armies North.Littlefinger: try it. Just try. I dare you.Sandor: Leave the Quiet Isle, kill UnGregor, go North after Sansa.Cersei: Die, bitch. Die.Jaime: Strangle Cersei, quit the Kingsguard, go to exile with Tommen and Brienne, live happily ever after.Doran: Die before you find out what happened to your son. It will be better for you.Areo: stop fapping while thinking about your axe. Find a woman. Or a man.Sand Snakes: go wreak havoc in KL!Sarella: beat some sense into Sam.UnGregor: Don't be evil! For irony, be a true knight and be devoted to Cersei.Walder Frey: just you wait. Nymeria and her pack will come and eat your children, then they'll eat you.UnCat: DIE.Brienne: You! Don't you dare to endanger Jaime!Loras: whatever, you are boring, dead or alive.Connington: kill yourself before you cause a fucking plague! You can think about Rhaegar while doing it.Aegon: Please, be a false Dimitri!Varys: continue being an enigma, you're very good at it!Mace Tyrell: DIE.Randyll Tarly: DIE.Ramsay Bolton: write some more troll letters. Get eaten by your own bitches.Roose Bolton: as awesome as you are sir, I don't see any way for you to survive this series... die in battle, or by Lady Dustin's hand. I bet you are fucking her.Mance: Don't get an Incurable Cough Of Death in that cage. And don't get flayed.Theon: die as yourself.Jeyne: get someone kind and caring who hugs you a lot and heals your soul.Stannis: DIVORCE, man. DIVORCE. Or just stab Selyse, it's part of the Azor Ahai business! Then get someone young and fertile. And please, just make out with Davos or Jon already. Oh, and please don't die. You gotta be king at the end.Asha: Girl, hope your idiot old "husband" dies and marry Qarl quickly because you never made moon tea...Jon: After you are reborn as Azor Ahai, please don't leave the NW even if R+L=J. Fight Others and lead the armies of the North.Bowen Marsh: Kill yourself with the dagger you used against Jon.Dolorous Edd: Come back to the Black Castle, get more page time, continue being awesome. Deliver the Friends, Romans, Countrymen speech in Edd style.Alliser Thorne: Plot, plot, plot! We gotta have some scheming SOB and you're very good at that. Then please die.Melisandre: Birth some more shadows! Kill Selyse. Do something useful.Arya: come home. Kill people on your list. Find Nymeria. Meet Jon again.Bran: Learn everything, kill Bloodraven, lead the Children and an army of warged animals against Others. Or something. Just don't turn into a tree, you can do that when you become old.Howland Reed: get out of your fucking swamp man, and reveal R+L=J.Victarion: try to outsmart Euron, die trying.Euron: troll everyone, have soem epic death.Aeron: try to wake Cthulhu, get eaten by him.Tormund: don't go to Hardhome! Just don't! They're already wights.Wun Wun: Don't die! You're to awesome to die!Creepy Warg With A Boar: DIE.Shireen: survive. Marry Edric Storm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaggydog Stark Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Quentyn: The fuck were you thinking boy? When Barristan tell you to go home, you GO HOME.Loras: whatever, you are boring, dead or alive.Stannis: DIVORCE, man. DIVORCE. Or just stab Selyse, it's part of the Azor Ahai business!Damn, I am over quota and can't like your post, but these were just awesome and made my day! :lol:I love this thread! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bloody Boar Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Stannis: stop burning people.Melisandre: stop burning people.Jon: don't die?Bran: do something with those mystic powers.Arya: gtfo and find Nymeria again.Lady Stoneheart: carry on.Tyrion: stop feeling sorry for yourself.Brienne: find Sansa and AryaJaime: find Sansa and AryaSansa: Littlefinger is the reason for everything bad that happened to you and your family. You know this!Cersei: sucks to be youRoose Bolton: hohoho, you're dead meatDany: go to Westeros. (And don't forget you promised Mago would die screaming) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trearu Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Arya: Ditch the Faceless Men, head for the Vale, find the Blackfish and Sansa.why does everyone gives her that advice? from her point of view there is no place else to go. with the skills she learns form the faceless she can go wherever she want. and what lets you belief they just let her leave just like that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kissdbyfire Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Dany, if you are 'just a young girl' (sigh) who knows nothing of matters of state (war, economics, etc), it’s time you learn to delegate. Knowing what and when to delegate to others is part of being a good statesperson/ruler. Once you have done that, delegate some of those mind-numbing sessions to someone else, and go deal with your dragons. You style yourself ‘Mother of Dragons’, and the way you’ve handled your babies is appalling. They are growing, and they need food. No one saw the barbecuing of goats and little girls coming? Really? If you had kept them well-fed, it wouldn’t have happened, or at the very least it would have reduced the likelihood of it happening drastically. Locking them in a pit with no contact with anyone (and I mean you) is also not helping at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cruella Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Dany: get the fuck over Daario, sack Yunkai, sack Meereen, feed the Green Grace to the dragons, team up with Tyrion, Jorah, barristan and maybe Vic, and GO TO WESTEROS.Then sack Westeros (because at this point, why NOT do this?), feed Starks and Lannisters and everyone else to dragons and set up your business as most well paid mercenary in the world. Take over Pentos and live there in great climate in barbaric splendour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
holding Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Dany: It's time to make your way to Westeros already. Also, cut Jorah some slack and don't trust the angry dwarf on his way to meet you.Jorah: Stop banging silver haired prostitutes; it isn't helping your cause.Tyrion: Stop being an ass and make up with Jaime.Sam: Please stop announcing your cowardice to everyone you meet.Jon: Don't trust Melisandre, and ffs don't sleep with her.Melisandre: Burning people is not okay, no matter what the voices in your head tell you.Jaime: Stop bitching, man up, go home and have sex with your sister!Sansa: Just carry on doing what you're doing.Littlefinger: Stop trying to grope Alayne, Cat would not approve, and is in a position to make that very clear.Varys: Just stop! Don't you know that Dany is just as insane as Cersei?! If you want to help, you should really be on Team Stannis.Stannis: Give up. Everybody knows you are the true king, and they still don't want you.Brienne: Look, not only does Ser Hyle have two good hands and a less abrasive personality, he also hasn't mentioned his sister once. Hell, we don't even know if he has a sister. He probably doesn't own a trebuchet, either. Make the smart decision here.Cersei: Stop being mean to your brother. Also - remember Myrcella? Your only daughter? Probably should be doing something about that.Tommen: Put down the kitten and start to actually read before you sign.Mace/Margaery/Loras: You get that your power only comes from your connection to Tommen, right? And if he was publicly proven to be, say, not really a Baratheon, you would all be in the shit too? So ffs stop being children and get on Cersei's side.Arya: Come back to Westeros, and be Arya, of House Stark again. She's the only one of your personalities I don't hate.Bran: Turn into a tree on your own time, stop making me read about it.Theon: Remember your name, and get revenge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brashcandy Posted November 7, 2011 Author Share Posted November 7, 2011 High Septon: You're a bastard, and making Cersei do a walk of shame is going to bring hell on earth to KL. Good luck getting out alive.Mace Tyrell: Stop pimping out Margaery. And no, Aegon will not want her.Septon Meribald's dog: Get your ass to the Vale so Sansa can warg you and find out that Sandor is on the Quiet Isle Drogon: Spare a thought for your brothers, Rhaegal and Viserion. They've been locked up while you've been free to roam wild. Bring them some food.Sandor: Religion is nice but we all know what you really need. Hint hint: Get to her before Harry the Heir.Harry the Heir: We all suspect that you're just another Robert Baratheon. Please don't prove us wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kissdbyfire Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Septon Meribald's dog: Get your ass to the Vale so Sansa can warg you and find out that Sandor is on the Quiet IsleSooooo love this one! :thumbsup: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danyl Stark Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 LF: Fucking die alreadySansa: Kill ^Stannis: You're not AA & you make a shit king, go dieArya: just go home, find Nymeria, kick some Frey/Bolton arseMel: feed yourself to the fire.Jon Snow: Don't die!Lord Manderly: keep at it, Frey Pie heheheheRoose Bolton: set Ramsay's dogs on him, then dieDany: give it up, you can't even look after your dragons, never mind a kingdomUnCat: keep up the good work.Anyone: Kill Stannis!Bran: Turn into a tree on your own time, stop making me read about it.Howland Reed: get out of your fucking swamp man, and reveal R+L=J.Love it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buckwheat Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Septon Meribald's dog: Get your ass to the Vale so Sansa can warg you and find out that Sandor is on the Quiet IsleSo good! I mean, particularly the part about Sansa warging :).In a similar fashion:LC's crow: Go tell Melisandre snow means Snow! Snow king! King Snow! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaggydog Stark Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Robert Baratheon: Dude, keep it in your pants, you are way too free with it!Sweet Robin: Keep throwing your porridge at LF! You are bound to hit him at some point if you keep at it. Oh and make him fly! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moey reed Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Sweet Robin: Keep throwing your porridge at LF! You are bound to hit him at some point if you keep at it. Oh and make him fly! :lmao: this is gold!!!meera: give bran a hug! he needs it and you could use one too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chise Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Dolorous Edd: Come back to the Black Castle, get more page time, continue being awesome. Deliver the Friends, Romans, Countrymen speech in Edd style.I will pay good money for front row seats to that speech delivery!Theon - get your name branded on your arm, so you won't forget it again. Also find a good dentistStannis - the qualities that get one laid are same that get one made ruler: charisma! Learn or fake some statJon - yes, we all think we know everything at 18 too, but you gotta shup up and pay more attention to whats said around you by older guys. Trust me, they might know this shit better than you. Stop tryin to force change so stubbornlyDaenerys - same as above. Then move West and build a house where all doors are REDBrienne - honor kills faster than greyscale, most of Stark clan can vouch for that. Stop following your oaths so blindlyJaime - why didn't you build a crossbow mechanism into your gold arm yet?!?! Do it! do it now!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemon Cake Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Arya: Come back to Westeros, and be Arya, of House Stark again. She's the only one of your personalities I don't hate.I would "like" this statement 10 times if I could. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tini Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Theon - get your name branded on your arm, so you won't forget it again. Also find a good dentistNo, that wouldn't work. He'd lose his arm next, or get it accidentally flayed off. He should get his name branded someplace he isn't likely to lose.Jaime - why didn't you build a crossbow mechanism into your gold arm yet?!?! Do it! do it now!!Excellent suggestion. What is all the Lannister gold worth if its owners don't have the brains to realize what can be done with it. A hook would be more useful than that bloody golden hand! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the Scorpion Knight Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Aegon: forget Dany ,keep some mistresses, listen to JonC.8 , and turn your weakness into a strengthSansa: Grab the Sweetrobin and go from gull town to whitehabour ASAP, failing that poison LF nobody will cry for him ( speak the sentence and swing the sword)Jon S.: Explain your subordinates WHY your doing this (thrice if it needs to be) they are humans dammitArya : Go to westeros NOW (at best would be skagos), also see Doran and BalonDoran Martell & Balon Greyjoy: Revenge is a sucker's game! Arainne : take the best of oberyn and doran Tommen: forget Knighthood learn to rule (at least the basics)Mel: don't Alienate possible alliesStannnis: get rid of your wife, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chise Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 No, that wouldn't work. He'd lose his arm next, or get it accidentally flayed off. He should get his name branded someplace he isn't likely to lose. hmmm, getting his tongue stamped sounds hard tho, and how would he read it then?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kephv Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Sam: Please stop announcing your cowardice to everyone you meet.He stopped that in AFfC. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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