Tini Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Now that's a lie Dany would slay immediately, thus fulfillling the prophesy :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Son of Jon Snarkgaryen Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 The RiverlandsAyra Stark/Nobody: Aha! No one will recognise me wearing the face of a Frey!Lady Stoneheart: Hang her. The WallMelisandre: Jon is Azor Ahai reborn!Lord Commander Dolorious Ed: Really? Too bad he died at the end of the last book, eh. Even I didn't see that coming.Ghost: *mournful howl*i don't know you, but i think i hate you now..... :bang: :bawl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whatever Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Varys: Tyrion/Jaime, you are Aerys's son! I think Dany is 15 now, closer to 16 I would think at the end of ADWD.She's 9 months younger than Jon, who's born at the beginning of 283. She's probably 17 now, I think year 300 is almost ended.Up North at the Wall:Melisandre: Jon Snow, I'll be frank with you. You are short some allies, and I just lost a particularly promising Azor Azai candidate. Lets make sweet, sweet shadow baby makin love together.......This whole post looks like a bad fancfiction written by a 13-years-old. It's definitively the WORST thing that could ever happen.. i guess you win :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
only me Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 The war is over (for a while).At the ruins of the Wall.Val: Jon, I love You. Please come with me. You can be the new King Beyond (the ruins of) the Wall.Jon: I can`t. Dany sayd that I have to go with her. She promised me that we can take turns sitting on the iron chair.Val (angrily): Oh, the others take You!And they did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Pink of Floyd Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 (beginning of the book)Victorian arrives in Meereen with ShipsVic - Look my future seawife, I bring you ships with comfortable beds in Cabins, allow me to show you...before we depart for Westeros."Dany - "Oh yes....VERY comfy!"400 pages later...Dany "And now we shall all depart this city I have taken over, ruined with war, famine and disease and leave for the glory of my birthright, Westeros!"(They depart on the ships brought to them by Vic and his Ironborn boys)600 pages later...Epilogue, with Danys invasion armarda off the coast of Blackwater Bay...Dany "Wait, I left behind my Bunny-ears, we need to turn back" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
only me Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Epilogue.20 years later.7th hell.Cersei, Jaime, Robert, Catelyn, Rhaegar, Tyrion and Tywin are drinking and chatting happily.Enters Sandor Clegane.Sandor: where is my brother?Jaime: the hell was not big enough for both of you, so they put him into 6-th.Sandor: I was so hoping to meet him here. So much left unsayd...Catelyn: It is rather crowded here. They had to add 8th hell just to fit all the Freys I`ve killed. And on the earth they are already piling up again.Rhaegar: Jon wanted to come too, but his character was not grey enough, so they sent him back for this reborn thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Der Anarch Posted December 4, 2011 Author Share Posted December 4, 2011 Jon: Howland Reed, do you know who my mother is?Howland Reed: No. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
only me Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Epilogue.20 years later.continues...7th heaven.Ned sits alone and eats lemoncakes.Enter LittleFinger and Varys.Ned: Oh, this must be hell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jape Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 ...and Daenerys lived happily ever after. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
only me Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Dany and her dragons have finally arrived to Westeros. Thanks to their effort the land is burned beyond recognition. Most of the westerosi people are either dead or escaped beyond the Wall to join the others.Dany (to Drogon): My work here is done. Let`s go back to Meereen and look for Daario?Drogon: (spits fire) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alienarea Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 A strange looking man arrives at the wall with a floating pig.Guard: What's your name, fellow?Stranger: Waters, Roger Waters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
only me Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Fighting arena. Sports commentator (Missandei): Good people of Westeros! This is the fight you all have been waiting for! The fate of the iron throne is going to be decided by a single combat! On the right we have Her Radiance Danaerys Stormborn, the Unburnt, Queen of Meereen, Queen of the Andals and the Rhoymar and the First Men, Khaleesi of Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Shackels and Mother of Dragons in a lovely breast revealing see-through outfit. Her little pets are right there beside her. On the left we have stubby King Tommen Lannister khmm sorry Baratheon. His kittens are hissing ferociously! Let the fight begin!!!Dany: Fire and Blood!!!!Tommen: Hear us roar!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen Cersei I Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 She's 9 months younger than Jon, who's born at the beginning of 283. She's probably 17 now, I think year 300 is almost ended.This whole post looks like a bad fancfiction written by a 13-years-old. It's definitively the WORST thing that could ever happen.. i guess you win :DHeh, well that's quite the dubious honor. Thanks. The bad fanfic thing was pretty much intentional... though, if you pay close attention, 3/4's of Melisandre's little speech is composted of stuff she's actually said in the books thus far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms. Njalsson Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Fighting arena. Sports commentator (Missandei): Good people of Westeros! This is the fight you all have been waiting for! The fate of the iron throne is going to be decided by a single combat! On the right we have Her Radiance Danaerys Stormborn, the Unburnt, Queen of Meereen, Queen of the Andals and the Rhoymar and the First Men, Khaleesi of Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Shackels and Mother of Dragons in a lovely breast revealing see-through outfit. Her little pets are right there beside her. On the left we have stubby King Tommen Lannister khmm sorry Baratheon. His kittens are hissing ferociously! Let the fight begin!!!Dany: Fire and Blood!!!!Tommen: Hear us roar!!!!Ha, the worst part is she'd probably incinerate the poor little guy without regret for being (depending on how closely she's been watching the news) the blood of the usurper and/or kingslayer. And his kittens. That Ser Pounce is a traitor, you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whatever Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 The bad fanfic thing was pretty much intentional... though, if you pay close attention, 3/4's of Melisandre's little speech is composted of stuff she's actually said in the books thus far.Okay, this is creepy. I still love your post though :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DukeTheGold Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Barristan: Is it a really good idea to transport 300,000 Dothraki screamers to Westeros?Dany: Meereen taught me the evil of gentleness. I desire what is rightfully mine, and nothing else. Asides, I promised them genocide, murder, rape, and pillage in exchange for their fealty.Dothraiki Horde: genocide, murder, rape, pillage!Meanwhile....Tyrion: Nothing will stand in my way until I have Cersei's cunt on a stick!*Sees a brothel*Tyrion: Is that you, Tysha? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whatever Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Tyrion: Nothing will stand in my way until I have Cersei's cunt on a stick!I think this would be quite impossible. Think of the logistic... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexia Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 What terrifying things are going on in this thread? :uhoh:Worst imaginable scene from TWOW. Tyrion and Dany have sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whatever Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Worst imaginable scene from TWOW. Tyrion and Dany have sex.Thank you. Now I have this images in my head that I DON'T WANT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lummel Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 a very long scene in which all of the surviving characters in the novel are gathered together and take turns revealing, to gasps of shocked astonishment, the dark secret of their births that reveals that each one of them is a secret targaryen.This to be immediately followed by a much shorter scene in which everybody tries to kill everybody else because they are all, of course, also faceless men and women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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