Jon AS Posted June 10, 2012 Share Posted June 10, 2012 6 - American Rebellion (as above)2 - Red America (Barbarahs, storming the Mindbreaker fortress, Rock meets Kim)3 - The Last American (the ReConstitutional Convention! Megapedes, Charlie Whiskers and hiding from a bomb behind a rock)4 - Bloody America (jazz power in the Moskva sewers)5 - America's Last Declaration (French panther women and Nazi attack)7 - American Defiance (Aussies, Octopoids and super porters).It's interesting to see it all laid out like that. I have to admit, these things kind of blend together in my mind. How many books are there in this series again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted June 10, 2012 Author Share Posted June 10, 2012 Some ridiculous number like 17, or 24, or something. Ryder kept writing them well into the 90s (ie. even after the actual fall of communism :lol:). I suspect we'll all be bored of this long before we get that far; the question is, has that time yet arrived or can we face another one? I don't want to start boring people by letting Rock outstay his welcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon AS Posted June 10, 2012 Share Posted June 10, 2012 Personally, I think a break might be in order at this point.They do tend to be a little repetitive.;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacuna Posted June 10, 2012 Share Posted June 10, 2012 Obviously the one who actually has to suffer through this crap should have the last say, but I'd like some more mighty thews before another outing of staunch anti-communism. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KAH Posted June 10, 2012 Share Posted June 10, 2012 Rock all the way, but understand it completely if there needs to be a period of mental restitution after this... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galactus Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 I'm actually genuinely curious what he's going to do next. Since he's just throwing random stuff (aussies! Octopoids! Nazis! Commies!") out I'm kind of curious what his subconscious is going to regurgitate next. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theMountainGoat Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 The thing that makes these books so amusing to snark on is that every time we think "this is as bad as it can possibly get, there's no way they can top this stupidity" they go and prove that there is no bottom of that barrel.For that reason Min you are stuck reviewing them until the end of time. I'm sorry that's just the way it is.One question - what happened to book one? Has it proved impossible to find? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maltaran Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 I'd like to see something else - Rock is starting to get repetitive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted June 11, 2012 Author Share Posted June 11, 2012 I'm sure Book 1 could be found if anyone wanted to*; most of these have been available from Amazon for the princely sum of 1p plus postage, but IIRC we voted it down in favour of going as chronologically as possible (dunno why I ended up getting book 2 straight after book 6, but I guess we had no idea I'd be going on with the series for so long). But given how Stacy seems compelled to re-introduce every character in their every chapter, a whole BOOK of nothing but introductions (OK, and bloodthirsty scavenging radioactive beasts and loltastic mutant scientists) is probably more than any of us can handle.On that note, I gotta say, the prospect of yet another chapter of "Here's Killov, he's thin and takes drugs" is mighty offputting right now, and on reflection I could do with a bit of a break from that myself. The votes are pretty even so far, so Book 8 is definitely still on the cards for later, but it might work better if I go with something else beforehand. Thongor would be quite fun to revisit after all this time; I know you all miss Lin Carter's technicolour overexuberance really, and the Dread Technomancer of Thruthelthrolth** should be a welcome break from cardboard commies... :commie:*but why the hell would you?**or whatever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lummel Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 It's a pity there aren't any stories with barbarian communist heroes with cardboard capitalist villains just to even things out. Comrade barbarian flexes his mighty thews before redistributing the weaselly merchants wealth, that kind of thing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galactus Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 ^ Ask Datepalm about that. She might know some. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lummel Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 More likely she'd write some! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galactus Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 IIRC there were quite a few Soviet Westerns written. Might be something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antonius Pius Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 I vote for thews. Rock is getting repetitive, and sillier by the volume. We can't ask Min to suffer through all that tripe without a break.IIRC there were quite a few Soviet Westerns written. Might be something?Surely you jest? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galactus Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 I vote for thews. Rock is getting repetitive, and sillier by the volume. We can't ask Min to suffer through all that tripe without a break.Surely you jest?No, the western genre was very popular in the USSR. (both actual westerns and "easterns", set in Siberia/The Caucasus) Mostly it was a movie thing from what I can tell though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted June 13, 2012 Author Share Posted June 13, 2012 Well then! I am in need of a break from epic housework, and the mighty thews of our old friend Thongor sound like just the thing. At a mere 125 pages, this shouldn't keep us too long, but we'll see how we get on.This, then is THE WIZARD OF LEMURIA - for extra bonus confusion, this turns out to be actually the very first Thongor story*, so doubtless there will be introductions a-plenty in due course. Luckily - and who'd have thought I could ever say such a thing? - Lin Carter does have a slightly better idea of how to structure a story than many other authors, so hopefully that shouldn't take too long and we can get to the battles with phoths and ophs and deodaths and larths and dwarks and whatnot in fairly short order.The cover promises "Sword, science and secret sorcery challenge the last of the dinosaur kings", and the Introduction gives us a spot more background here - let's take a quick look.Half a million years ago, on the Lost Continent of Lemuria in the Pacific, the first human civilisations arose from the murk of barbarism. For a thousand years the first men had struggled heroically to overcome the Dragon Kings - a cruel reptilian race which had ruled the earth during the Age of Reptiles - but at last the Thousand Year War was done and the Dragon Kings were destroyed, or driven from the land.But not ALL of them, eh?I almost feel churlish criticising this passage, as it's certain that Mr Carter believes in no such thing, but the book (and series as a whole) seems to occupy some uncomfortable middle ground between Total Myth (in which realism is not expected at any level) and Science-fictiony Alternate History (which takes an approximate stab at some degree of plausibility and proto-science), which makes it all a whole new flavour of bizarre. Luckily such "science" as we encounter is usually as accurate as Ryder Stacy's politics, so we can just put it all down to magic and move on.Chapter 1 - Red Swords in ThurdisAnd our hero is introduced thus:Thongor of Valkarth ducked as the heavy wine-goblet hurled harmlessly over his head, ringing against the wall and splattering cold wine over his face and naked chest. He blinked the cold, stinging fluid from his eyes expressionlessly.Either Carter meant "hurtled", or perhaps "was hurled", wine goblets traditionally lacking throwing abilities of their own, but I shall let it pass. Either way, he's in a pub, he still has no clothes and no visible emotions, and he's just insulted a noble (Jeled Malkh, the Otar), so all appears to be in order.Jeled Malkh, for his sins, has just refused to pay up after losing a bet on the zamph-races, and is unamused at some barbarian trying to insist that he do so. Thongor regards him through his golden eyes with further lack of expression, tosses back his long mane of hair, and then dunks Jeled head-first in a big bowl of wine in lieu of payment. Of course, this immediately results in a swordfight.Steel rang against steel as the barbarian mercenary and the jeweled scion of the noblest house in all Thurdis fought. Jeled Malkh was no mean swordsman. His education, as only heir to the House of Malkh, had brought him under the tutelage of the most famed sword-masters in all the realm. But Thongor of Valkarth had practically been born with a long-sword in his hand. In the years of his wanderings and wars as a vagabond, he had learned every trick of swordplay with every type of weapon...Ah, the ellipses! How I've missed them.Anyways, Thongor mucks about for a while, as is obviously quite realistic when you have a longsword and your opponent has a rapier, then eventually disarms Malkh and offers to buy him a drink and make friends again. But Malkh will take no such thing from a "dog of a northlander bitch!" He kicks Thongor in the cobblers and continues the fight.This time Thongor is having less fun, and immediately knocks the sword away and gets his blade at Malkh's "panting breast". At this, Malkh swears peace - but when Thongor reaches out to shake hands, he swipes his sword at our hero's neck! So of course he has no choice but to skewer the guy through the heart. Whoops.Silence in the pub. Thongor shrugs. But then - yes! - someone clubs him from behind and he falls down unconscious! Again with the blunt-force trauma. One of these days you'd think he'd maybe invest in some kind of hat.*there were about 6 Thongor books in the shop, all with different titles, and all except this one appeared to be just re-packaged versions of either Thongor of Lemuria or Pirates of Tarakus. Or else the contents were just so similar to the ones we've already read as to be indistinguishable. Either way, this one is definitely new. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacuna Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 We should set up a betting pool on how many times Thongor gets knocked unconscious in 125 pages. My money is on 3. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maithanet Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 Jeled Malkh was no mean swordsman.I think of a mean swordsman to be a good swordsman, i.e. "he shot a mean game of pool". But maybe Thongor's reflexes are diminished by the constant head trauma, and the level of swordfighting going on is no better than average, in spite of both men being quite experienced. That's probably what he meant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sophelia Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 Wow - more treats already. Mindonner your resilience is admirable!I'd thoroughly enjoy whatever choice you made, providing it had enough to mock in it, and it looks like this isn't going to disappoint on that front. You're quite right on 'hurled'. :)Chapter 1 - Red Swords in ThurdisComing home after a hard day's work and being somewhat tired, I'm afraid I read this as:Chapter 1 - Red Swords in Turds Carry on... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagilki Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 Phew, I'm not the only one then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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