Sandor Clegane v. 14

[Sand Snake No. 9]

For one thing, he took vows taking him out of the line of inheritance. So they might not have bothered with attainting him, anyway. But I think he's in big trouble regardless of who takes over, because of Saltpans. Dany might not care that he deserted Joffrey and the battlefield, but she's going to care about him chewing up the breasts of a little girl. And so will most other lords -- it was called "exceptionally vicious" "monstrous" and similar adjectives.

Its part of why I think he is doomed if he ever leaves the QI.

The Elder Brother has some 'splainin' to do.

[Sandorella]

and.... (my new fav crack)

Sandor as Melisandre's eventual killer!

Me likee. Seriously, I would looooove to hear a conversation between these two on the merits of fire. She would either revere him as a holy man who has been anointed by R'hllor or completely rethink her life's work after listening to his persuasive "Bugger fire!" argument.

[Sandorella]

But of course, as we know, Sandor's a total virg. *ducks*

How weird is it that I would love for this to be true? It would certainly explain why, up until this point, he thinks that killing is "the sweetest thing there is" B)

It could also set up an awesomely cringeworthy SanSan double-deflowering. :wub: or :ack: depending on your POV! We've seen many sides of our dear Hound thus far - anger, snark, fear, drunken aggression, protectiveness - but we've yet to see his nervous, fumbling, am-I-doing-this-right? side. I can only imagine...

[brashcandy]

How weird is it that I would love for this to be true? It would certainly explain why, up until this point, he thinks that killing is "the sweetest thing there is" B)

It could also set up an awesomely cringeworthy SanSan double-deflowering. :wub: or :ack: depending on your POV! We've seen many sides of our dear Hound thus far - anger, snark, fear, drunken aggression, protectiveness - but we've yet to see his nervous, fumbling, am-I-doing-this-right? side. I can only imagine...

It is amusing to think that he's totally a virg, although I highly doubt it :) He does tell Sansa that all a man needs is wine or a woman, so I'm sure he knows about the pleasures related to sexytimes, but I do think you have a point about his opinion of killing being the sweetest thing, as it relates to what has consumed his life up to that point. I think he has enjoyed sex before, in the strict sense of orgasm, but never within a loving relationship obviously.

[littlespider]

Me likee. Seriously, I would looooove to hear a conversation between these two on the merits of fire. She would either revere him as a holy man who has been anointed by R'hllor or completely rethink her life's work after listening to his persuasive "Bugger fire!" argument.

S: "What, me, Azor Ahai? Who the fucks that?"

M: "blah blah AA blah blah Lightbringer blah blah FIRE FIRE BURN BABY BURN blah blah lion STAB Nissa Nissa STAB STAB..."

S: "Hmm. Interestin'. Want to be my Nissa Nissa?"

M: "What? Me? Well-"

*stab*

S: "Bugger that shit."

It could also set up an awesomely cringeworthy SanSan double-deflowering. :wub: or :ack: depending on your POV!

I vote for :ack:

He needs a dame with experience to break him in. Like Asha or Val.

(I am mostly tongue in cheek in suggesting that he is a virg, though I really doubt he gets laid as often as we'd like to think.)

[Alexia]

I just want to say that I think it would suck to be the female end of a double deflowering. :ack: Carry on, everyone!

[littlespider]

I just want to say that I think it would suck to be the female end of a double deflowering. :ack: Carry on, everyone!

Yeah, that level of incompetence on both parties might nearly convince a person that fornication is vastly overrated. Do not ask me how I know this.

You know who seems like a virg in these books? Tris Botley. Not only a virg, but a desperate and creepy virg.

[brashcandy]

Yeah, that level of incompetence on both parties might nearly convince a person that fornication is vastly overrated. Do not ask me how I know this.

You know who seems like a virg in these books? Tris Botley. Not only a virg, but a desperate and creepy virg.

Poor Tris, but yeah, he definitely gave off a weirdly disturbing vibe with Asha. Am I being completely biased in saying that although Sandor stalks Sansa on numerous occasions, he never comes as creepy?

[1234567]

Poor Tris, but yeah, he definitely gave off a weirdly disturbing vibe with Asha. Am I being completely biased in saying that although Sandor stalks Sansa on numerous occasions, he never comes as creepy?

Also let's not forget Arienne's memories about Oakheart. That truly sounded like the first time was crisis management.

[littlespider]

Also let's not forget Arienne's memories about Oakheart. That truly sounded like the first time was crisis management.

Ha! Yes. Arys "two-pump chump" Oakheart.

Poor Tris, but yeah, he definitely gave off a weirdly disturbing vibe with Asha. Am I being completely biased in saying that although Sandor stalks Sansa on numerous occasions, he never comes as creepy?

Eeeehhh, I don't know about this. He strikes me as pretty creepy, especially when she runs into him on the serpentine step. And there are few things more frightening than running into a gigantic drunk dude in your bedroom when you're not expecting it (not counting being chucked on the bed).

I guess I'd say that they come across as creepy in different ways. Tris Botley exudes a controlling, manipulative streak that seems like he's a whiney, needy bastard who could turn possessive and mean at the drop of a hat. He also seems to be completely deluded as to who Asha actually is. I think that's what I can't stand about him-- he doesn't seem to respect her as a person, and is only concerned with what he wants her to be. Hmm, now that I think about it, I'd imagine that maybe Littlefinger came off similarly when he was younger and trying to woo Catelyn.

In contrast, Sandor is undoubtedly a stalker, which is creepy, but also a sort of guardian, which alleviates it a bit. But he absolutely does not respect boundaries: social boundaries (commenting on poor Sansa's growing rack) or physical boundaries (getting grabby on a number of occasions). And this makes him dang scary. But I don't think there's any doubt that he absolutely understands who Sansa is as a person and he's not trying to manipulate her. At all.

For some reason the manipulativeness, which Tris totally does, though he does it badly, strikes me as most creepy, though I could definitely understand those who see Sandor as more creepy.

[brashcandy]

For some reason the manipulativeness, which Tris totally does, though he does it badly, strikes me as most creepy, though I could definitely understand those who see Sandor as more creepy.

Yeah agreed. I think Sandor's "creep" factor might be in the age difference between him and Sansa, and the power imbalance as well. Plus springing out of the shadows drunk isn't exactly endearing :). But no manipulation a la Tris - I feel like he would pull something sneaky in order to get with Asha.

[Sandorella]

Also let's not forget Arienne's memories about Oakheart. That truly sounded like the first time was crisis management.

I love your euphemism "crisis management." :lmao:

Put me in the "Sandor is creepy" camp, although I agree that he's definitely not as bad as LF (don't remember Tris too well). For me, manipulative and controlling trumps unpredictable and surly on the creepiness scale every time.

[littlespider]

Yeah agreed. I think Sandor's "creep" factor might be in the age difference between him and Sansa, and the power imbalance as well. Plus springing out of the shadows drunk isn't exactly endearing :). But no manipulation a la Tris - I feel like he would pull something sneaky in order to get with Asha.

Yes! He absolutely would. And the fact that it's so clear that he doesn't actually respect her for who she is, and clearly has the fantasy dream girl thing in his head while trying to guilt-trip her into sleeping with him. Ugh.

For me, manipulative and controlling trumps unpredictable and surly on the creepiness scale every time.

I'm with ya. Though, I wonder; inevitably we're going to filter our creep tolerance through our own experience and age, yes? I think if I were twelve, in Sansa's position, I'd find Sandor much more frightening, because the threat he presents is more overt. With that lack of experience with a variety of creepers, one doesn't know what to expect from a manipulator, or how to handle it. This is what concerns me about LF; she knows enough to feel uncomfortable, but isn't quite sure how to handle it, because there's not an obvious source of threat.

[1234567]

Put me in the "Sandor is creepy" camp, although I agree that he's definitely not as bad as LF (don't remember Tris too well). For me, manipulative and controlling trumps unpredictable and surly on the creepiness scale every time.

I don't think Sandor is creepy, but he does behave like an socially inept asshole. The stalking part I don't mind so much as I think he was trying to find opportunities to get to speak to her when no one else was around. I think trying to talk to a girl in front of other people would have been nearly impossible for him. I also think that although he drinks anyway, he needs a lot of Dutch courage to speak to her. The way he speaks to her (which is horrible at times) reminds me of the stereotypical highschool guy who likes the girl but is too shy / slash scared he'll be rejected/ doesn't want to show he has feelings because they could be crushed and therefore is a completely unpleasant asshole towards her. The major problem here is that he is in his mid-twenties not 15. He has a serious case of arrested emotional development.

[Sandorella]

inevitably we're going to filter our creep tolerance through our own experience and age, yes? I think if I were twelve, in Sansa's position, I'd find Sandor much more frightening, because the threat he presents is more overt. With that lack of experience with a variety of creepers, one doesn't know what to expect from a manipulator, or how to handle it. This is what concerns me about LF; she knows enough to feel uncomfortable, but isn't quite sure how to handle it, because there's not an obvious source of threat.

I agree. Sandor would have scared the bejeezus out of me when I was 12 (and for many years after actually) but I would have been pretty oblivious to the nefarious machinations of LF. I'm so glad I didn't start reading this series when I was younger; it takes a mature woman to handle someone as complex as Sandor, and not just write him off as a boiler plate villain.

[Candor]

I agree. Sandor would have scared the bejeezus out of me when I was 12 (and for many years after actually) but I would have been pretty oblivious to the nefarious machinations of LF. I'm so glad I didn't start reading this series when I was younger; it takes a mature woman to handle someone as complex as Sandor, and not just write him off as a boiler plate villain.

Why, thank you. *ego trips magnificently*

:lmao:

[Candor]

I just want to say that I think it would suck to be the female end of a double deflowering. :ack: Carry on, everyone!

The only good thing about mine was that my partner wasn't a virgin too (not that it outweighed the bad, but I don't feel like you'd like the whole Dolorous Edd style version of events). Double deflowering... *shudder* :stillsick: I both believe and hope that Sandor has been getting a little tail.

Anyway, here's the rest of my Starring Sandor As...

Sandor as King of Westeros --- I just don't see it. He couldn't come by it through conquest (no armies behind him), certainly not through inheritance, and not as King Consort - Even if a certain someone did want to, it's unlikely she could marry him.

Sandor as homely farmer --- Oh, I sincerely hope he's an oat farmer so that we can lulz about him sowing the wild oats. xD :lol:

Sandor as Lord Clegane --- As long as no one called him "m'lord", ..... :cheers:

Sandor as R'hllor convert --- JUST SAY NO, SANDOR! SAY NO TO THE BAD TOUCH LADY! :eek:

Sandor as Littlefinger killer --- Highly plausible, but I just don't think so. Sansa will slay a stone giant in a castle of snow and I'm thinking that might very well be the Littlefinger. (yes, "the" - because he's so terribly infamous)

Sandor the avenger (killing Gregor)

Sandor the baby daddy --- It is known! :cool4: Little Eddard (insert Sansa's husband's last name here) will be tall, strapping, with black hair. Or maybe there is a girl who looks like Arya? :wub:

Sandor the husband --- I tink it's unlikely to happen so nicely, but I would be ok with this.

Sandor the lover --- with our usual caveats* in place, I would like to use this smiley to show you how I feel. :smileysex:

Sandor the confidante --- This has already happened, yo! Back in King's Landing he was the only one Sansa bb could freely talk to. Sure he isn't like, come cry on my shoulder and we'll snuggle all the problems away... :leer: , but he listens and holds mature conversations with her in his own way. Gives her advice to try and improve her quality of life. That sorta schtick. He's golden. :thumbsup:

Sandor as the valonquar --- To put it simply, my personal top contendors for this are Sandor and Jaime. Y'all who like Edmure have good points, but I don't think it'll be him simply b/c it doesn't ahve the exact same payoff. Cersei is a Lannister, but she's not the Lannister who fucked over Edmure bb personally (yes, I like sweet ole Edmure. Family Deal Duty With Honor It!). Where as Cersei is prominent in regards to Jaime, and to Sandor mainly through a strong Cersei connection to Sansa. Degrees of seperation for the win. Perhaps one of the times I agree** with this way of looking at choices, I don't think it's Tyrion because Cersei thinks it's Tyrion and it's "too obvious"

* we reserve the right to be very disappoint if there be the sexeh tiems before Sansa is of a more mature age and before Sandor gives our bb a proper apology for the stupid shenanigans he's pulled at times.

** I sorta think the "it's too obvious so it isn't that" argument is generally, well, silly.

[Lord Bronn Stokeworth]

(1)I both believe and hope that Sandor has been getting a little tail.

(2)Sandor as the valonquar --- To put it simply, my personal top contendors for this are Sandor and Jaime. Y'all who like Edmure have good points, but I don't think it'll be him simply b/c it doesn't ahve the exact same payoff. Cersei is a Lannister, but she's not the Lannister who fucked over Edmure bb personally (yes, I like sweet ole Edmure. Family Deal Duty With Honor It!). Where as Cersei is prominent in regards to Jaime, and to Sandor mainly through a strong Cersei connection to Sansa. Degrees of seperation for the win. Perhaps one of the times I agree** with this way of looking at choices, I don't think it's Tyrion because Cersei thinks it's Tyrion and it's "too obvious"

1. I'm pretty sure it was mentioned somewhere that he goes to whores.

2. I'm thinking Tommen.

[Sandorella]

1. I'm pretty sure it was mentioned somewhere that he goes to whores.

I'm pretty sure too, but someone upthread suggested that maybe he only went for innocent cuddles, like the Unsullied who just craved some human touch. I don't think it was a serious suggestion, and I don't think it is realistic to think that he actually is a virgin, but it's fun to speculate!

[Lord Bronn Stokeworth]

I'm pretty sure too, but someone upthread suggested that maybe he only went for innocent cuddles, like the Unsullied who just craved some human touch. I don't think it was a serious suggestion, and I don't think it is realistic to think that he actually is a virgin, but it's fun to speculate!

It would be rather amusing. And a bit disturbing......