Nudu Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 The scene he writes letters to the all lords. Ser Jaime Lannister Sisterfucker. :D he is still a knight. I laughed hard in this scene. But i think Renly was better:Bornt admist salt and smoke? What are you? Ham? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GallowsKnight Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 From the WoW except(Stannis finds out Arnolf Karstark's Maester is sending letters to Winterfell. The Maester pisses himself from fear, Stannis asks what's in the letter)Maester: The rules of my order forbid me to divulge the contents of Lord Arnolf's letters."Stannis: Your vows are stronger than your bladder, it would seem" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ab aeterno Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 From the WoW except(Stannis finds out Arnolf Karstark's Maester is sending letters to Winterfell. The Maester pisses himself from fear, Stannis asks what's in the letter)Maester: The rules of my order forbid me to divulge the contents of Lord Arnolf's letters."Stannis: Your vows are stronger than your bladder, it would seem"I love this one too. How can someone so frequently described as being "humorless," be so darn funny!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rivergirl Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Nobody, including any of us, has ever given Stannis the credit he deserves for out-sassing every other character and doing so with a completely straight face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manderly's Rat Cook Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Another great one from ASoS:At a wedding, thought Davos. As he sat at his slayer's board, a guest beneath his roof. These Freys are cursed. He could smell the burning blood again, and hear the leech hissing and spitting on the brazier's hot coals."It was the Lord's wrath that slew him," Ser Axell Florent declared. "It was the hand of R'hIlor!""Praise the Lord of Light!" sang out Queen Selyse, a pinched thin hard woman with large ears and a hairy upper lip."Is the hand of R'hllor spotted and palsied?" asked Stannis. "This sounds more Walder Frey's handiwork than any god's." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ab aeterno Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Another great one from ASoS:At a wedding, thought Davos. As he sat at his slayer's board, a guest beneath his roof. These Freys are cursed. He could smell the burning blood again, and hear the leech hissing and spitting on the brazier's hot coals."It was the Lord's wrath that slew him," Ser Axell Florent declared. "It was the hand of R'hIlor!""Praise the Lord of Light!" sang out Queen Selyse, a pinched thin hard woman with large ears and a hairy upper lip."Is the hand of R'hllor spotted and palsied?" asked Stannis. "This sounds more Walder Frey's handiwork than any god's."Ooh, I had forgotten this quote... it would help with a certain recurring argument. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manderly's Rat Cook Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 And this:"Husband, hear me - " the queen entreated."Why? Two is not three. Kings can count as well as smugglers. You may go." Stannis turned his back on them.Lol, oh god! I love this thread! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lion of Judah Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 "Robert could piss in a cup and men would call it wine, but I offer them pure cold water and they squint in suspicion and mutter to each other about how queer it tastes." Stannis ground his teeth. "If someone said I had magicked myself into a boar to kill Robert, likely they would believe that as well." A Clash of Kings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manderly's Rat Cook Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 I'm still reading the same ASoS chapter, and I can't stop laughing! Here's another one!He ground his teeth. "We do not choose our destinies. Yet we must ... we must do our duty, no? Great or small, we must do our duty. Melisandre swears that she has seen me in her flames, facing the dark with Lightbringer raised on high. Lighthringer!" Stannis gave a derisive snort. "It glimmers prettily,Not Stannis, but Davos and Sallador Saan (still funny):Old habit made him reach for his luck, but his fingerbones no longer hung about his neck, and he found nothing. "He will not do it," said Davos. "He could not harm his own blood.""Lord Renly will be glad to hear this."One in the funny names category:"And this other man, this Tormund of the many names who eluded us after the battle? Answer me truly."This Tormund Thunderfist is likely re-forming them even now, and planning some new assault.More ASoS - agreed, less funny than some other lines:The sound of Lord Janos Slynt clearing his throat broke the strained silence. "Your Grace, let me say how pleased we are to be summoned here. When I saw your banners from the Wall, I knew the realm was saved. 'There comes a man who neer forgets his duty/ I said to good Ser Alliser. 'A strong man, anda true king.' May I congratulate you on your victory over the savages? The singers will make much of it, I know - ""The singers may do as they like," Stannis snapped. "Spare me your fawning, Janos, it will not serve you." He rose to his feet and frowned at them all. "Lady Melisandre tells me that you have not yet chosen a Lord Commander. I am displeased. How much longer must this folly last?"Did anyone else visualise this literally when reading ASoS?"I am aware of that. If it happens that Lord Janos here is the best the Night's Watch can offer, I shall grit my teeth and choke him down. It is naught to me which man of you is chosen, so long as you make a choice. We have a war to fight."---The king frowned. "Everyone else has seen the thing, why not a blind man?"Well this was all I could find in ASoS, hope it makes y'all happy :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheWildWolf Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 The scene he writes letters to the all lords. Ser Jaime Lannister Sisterfucker. :D he is still a knight. I laughed hard in this scene. But i think Renly was better:Definitely one of the better ones :P I think he is funnier because he is so serious all the time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhoynar Posted December 2, 2012 Share Posted December 2, 2012 The Winds of Winter sample spoiler:STANNIS: "Who is coming? Bolton?"THEON: "Lord Ramsay," Theon hissed. "The son, not the father. You must not let him take him. Roose... Roose is safe within the walls of Winterfell with his fat new wife. Ramsay is coming."STANNIS: "Ramsay Snow, you mean. The Bastard."THEON: "Never call him that!" Spittle sprayed from Theon's lips. "Ramsay Bolton, not Ramsay Snow, never Snow, never, you have to remember his name, or he will hurt you."STANNIS: "He is welcome to try. Whatever name he goes by." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YouSnowNothing Posted December 2, 2012 Share Posted December 2, 2012 "Laws should be made of iron. Not pudding." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ororo727 Jon Snow Fangirl Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 They both have kind of a dry, sardonic wit going on. I think Tyrion's is more "out there" because he's a POV character and we can see his thoughts.For some reason, the Tyrion line that makes me crack up the most every time isn't even a line, it's a thought. Oberyn tells Tyrion that he and Elia were close, much like Jaime and Cersei. Tyrion thinks, Gods I hope not. That's the same sort of humor Stannis uses when he says, "I won't have that abomination here, this isn't King's Landing."I'm on a re-read and I just finished that chapter and had to LOL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cracken Posted December 21, 2012 Share Posted December 21, 2012 "Weddings have become more perilous than battles, it would seem."I laughed so hard about this as I cried a few chapters earlier.He's the man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonisnoGarySnow Posted December 22, 2012 Share Posted December 22, 2012 "Did Ned Stark father you on some fishwife?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Summer is Ending Posted December 22, 2012 Share Posted December 22, 2012 “I am not without mercy,” thundered he who was notoriously without mercy.Love that line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Monkey Posted January 5, 2013 Share Posted January 5, 2013 "You haggle like a crone with a codfish, Lord Snow. Did Ned Stark father you on some fishwife?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaTyAdo Posted January 5, 2013 Share Posted January 5, 2013 He is definitely serious with everything he said and that makes it a lot funnier.. anyway if I were in Westeros, I wouldn't see why people would think he's humorless... This thread made me love Stannis more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Baratheon Posted January 5, 2013 Share Posted January 5, 2013 Stannis has the best sense of humour. It's so dry, and seemingly unintentional. He's, dare I say it, better than Edd.Same level at the very least :agree: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Baratheon Posted January 5, 2013 Share Posted January 5, 2013 Stannis shifted in his seat, frowning. " Was, would have, what is that? He did what he did. He came here with his banners and his peaches." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.