Stannis humor

[mcb]

Clearly you don't understand the purpose of this thread.

It's to collect the best and funniest of Stannis Baratheon, is it not? I rest my case.

[Mulled Wino]

Mega props to the thread starter to converting more people than I've ever been able to do to Stannis fandom.

[Mad Monkey]

Rereading Dance, I have to concur with the people who liked the back-and-forth between Stannis and Jon Snow. One of my favorite exchanges was when Stannis was going out of his way to fail to understand how the wildlings think:

"The law ends at the Wall, Your Grace. You could make good use of Mance."

"I mean to. I'll burn him, and the north will see how I deal with turncloaks and traitors. I have other men to lead the wildlings. And I have Rayder's son, do not forget. Once the father dies, his whelp will be the King-Beyond-the-Wall."

"Your Grace is mistaken." You know nothing, Jon Snow, Ygritte used to say, but he had learned. "The babe is no more a prince than Val is a princess. You do not become King-Beyond-the-Wall because your father was."

"Good," said Stannis, "for I will suffer no other kings in Westeros."

A lesser man would have quailed before Jon Snow's carefully measured statements of unassailable fact, but Stannis is not such a man. He has no problem leaping from position to contradictory position without batting an eye, and unflinchingly staring you down if you even consider calling him out on it.

Stannis would like Walt Whitman: Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself; I am large--I contain multitudes. (Song of Myself)

[Red Raven]

I would have loved to have seen Stannis and Tywin square off in a glower-off. They both can bring the grim, dry humor in spades.

[RenlyIsNotRight]

I would have loved to have seen Stannis and Tywin square off in a glower-off. They both can bring the grim, dry humor in spades.

To me, Tywin is the character who actually literally has no sense of humor. Roose Bolton and Stannis would be a better match up in that regard, though Rooses humor, while also unintentional and dry, is a bit more "quirky".

[raziel.r]

Stannis is so funny in the book but pity his on screen adaption is awful despite having a good actor.

[bloody_mummer]

What I love best about him is how everyone knows that there is no way he can come out on top...I think he even knows it...yet, he just grudingly proceeds onward. And, the best part it, he truly does not even seem to want to be king. His intense stubbornness in the face of an impossible quest is amusing. His whole attitude is just "Ah feck; alright....here we go again."

[space]

said by Loras about stannis but i still love the hell out of "he has the personality of a lobster"

godda admit ive used that one a few times since reading!

[Mad Monkey]

Um, it's probably too late to specify that I was calling Stannis a troll, not you, right? He was doing the stereotypical troll trick of making a controversial argument and then when called on it completely pivoting and making another, contradictory argument without batting an eye ("Now that I have Mance Rayder's son, I control the King beyond the Wall!" "The kid isn't the King beyond the Wall." "Good, because there's no such thing as the King beyond the Wall!")

[Hound Dog]

What I love best about him is how everyone knows that there is no way he can come out on top...I think he even knows it...yet, he just grudingly proceeds onward. And, the best part it, he truly does not even seem to want to be king. His intense stubbornness in the face of an impossible quest is amusing. His whole attitude is just "Ah feck; alright....here we go again."

That's one of the things I like best about Stannis as well. He does have a that cool dry wit (as everyone here has exemplified already!), but I also do love his grudging (perfect word) commitment to what is right for the realm. By no means is he my favourite character, but I as the series has gone on, I've found myself enjoying him more and more. I really started to respect him when he went to the Wall. He tells it like it is. Perhaps the humour's "easy" to miss because he's constantly described as having the personality of a stone wall (not in those words, but you know).

[E-Ro]

Um, it's probably too late to specify that I was calling Stannis a troll, not you, right?

That was my impression of your post as well.

Another priceless stannis moment was when he was making davos hand, and davos was like(i dont have the exact quote on me atm so this is paraphrasing)"the lords wont ever accept it" So stannis was just like, "then we will make new lords." That was also really funny imo.

[Almighty Stannis]

Can't believe there are people who didn't pick up on his obvious good humour on the first read. I wonder if it could come to down to a cultural difference between nations. As a Brit I felt the dry wit and intentioned humour of Stannis was fairly obvious right from the start.

[Jorah the Andal]

When I first joined the forum, I thought I would be one of few who liked Davos and Stannis, glad to see so many others appreciating them. All the best quotes have already been mentioned. and there are some great ones. lol

Not a quote but a funny little thing I picked up on a re read in GoT. Was when Ned was investigating why Jon Arryn was visiting a certain brothel, and someone tells Ned that Stannis was with Jon Arryn at the time and Ned is completely shocked. He was like - '' The Hand of the King visited a brothel with Stannis Baratheon.?!?'' I thought this was pretty funny. Then Ned thinks back at hearing how Stannis wanted to outlaw brothels, this was utterly hilarious, and after getting to know Stannis in the later books, it's just something you could imagine him thinking/doing. Brilliant!!

[Ska∂i]

Stannis: How many clans are you speaking of?

Jon: Two score, small and large. Flint, Wull, Norrey, Liddle ... win Old Flint and Big Bucket, the rest will follow.

Stannis: Big Bucket?

That makes me laugh out loud.

[Ska∂i]

Also this:

Lady Melisandre rose from her place near the hearth. "With your leave, Sire, I will show Lord Snow back to his chambers."

"Why? He knows the way."

[E-Ro]

That makes me laugh out loud.

LOL I completely forgot about that one. :lmao:

[Theda Baratheon]

LOL, glad to see this thread again. Love Stannis humour.

[a free shadow]

Great thread :)

[Stannis' shadow babies]

The TV series doesn't do much to show this aspect of Stannis..or so I thought. Yesterday I was rewatching season 2, and there was this scene where Stannis and Davos are talking, Davos mentions "The red woman", to which Stannis corrects "she has a name", in that serious tone of his. Just seconds later Stannis tells Davos he'll have to smuggle someone, Davos asks who. Stannis answers "The red woman" :lol: Come on, at least it's a tiny glimpse of his humor ... :blushing:

[RenlyIsNotRight]

The TV series doesn't do much to show this aspect of Stannis..or so I thought. Yesterday I was rewatching season 2, and there was this scene where Stannis and Davos are talking, Davos mentions "The red woman", to which Stannis corrects "she has a name", in that serious tone of his. Just seconds later Stannis tells Davos he'll have to smuggle someone, Davos asks who. Stannis answers "The red woman" :lol: Come on, at least it's a tiny glimpse of his humor ... :blushing:

Season 2 had a few pretty funny Stannis moments, particularly in Episode 8 - his speech about his opinion on cats vs. dogs in regards

to eating animals at Storms End is up there with the funniest Stannis lines from the books IMO.

Season 3 though i don't think he had one funny line, and they had a perfect opportunity to include "weddings have become more perilous than battles". So disappointing.