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Anyone else dying to eat their next meal with a dagger?


Mulled Wino

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You should move to Arkansas, I have been eating off my knife for years and its pretty common around here if your eating outside or away from home. Its so much simpler and mulitpurpose, and when your done you have no dirty untensils, just wipe the blade off and put it away. It also has the benefit of being able to point it at people across the table while you are eating to ensure they shut the fuck up long enough for you to finish your sentence without being interrupted by rude assholes.

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you eat with rude assholes? i pity you. if those rude assholes are your friends or family im sure they wont stop interrupting you because you pointed a pointy knife at them. and if those people are really rude assholes when you point a pointy stick at them im sure they will point a pointy gun on your face.

and im sure wiping a blade off, is just the same as wiping your fork off.

I use knife, but that is for cutting off slabs of steak. but it would be a lot less messier if i eat that with a fork. if i want to eat messy, like with a burger or hot chicken wings or just a piece of really juicy meat, i'd try to use my hands for that instead of something that could potentially stab the girl sitting beside me.

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My parents forgot to teach my siblings and I how to properly use the more refined utensils (or maybe neither of them ever knew) so we were left with having to just stab our food with knives and forks and and eating it that way. The only true utensils my mother taught us to use were chopsticks, but that's just because that's all she ever felt comfortable with due to her background. I got lucky. I went off to college and then traveled and in my early 20's, I finally learned how to properly use the knife and fork when eating. The irony is that I didn't learn until I was in a tiny village in the middle of a jungle where the inhabitants there use only their hands or a spoon and it was one of those very people living in that village who taught me because he saw some other foreign visitor eating the 'proper' way. I took my new-found skills home, but my brothers and sisters only made fun of me and starting calling me the wannabe queen of england. The most upsetting part is that now that I know how to use utensils properly, I cannot stop.

I miss stabbing my food.

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Okay so I recently went backpacking, and I brought a big knife. Which is my stand in for a dagger for purpose of this post.

I tried to eat 'Katmandu Curry' with the knife but was worried about chopping my lips off so I just carved a spoon instead.

The knife was really good for slicing slices of cheese of the chunk of gouda I brought instead of having 4 people just rip it apart with their hands or take bites and pass it around.

I ate a steak with it too. I did not let the grease run down my chin. Honestly, I don't understand why so many in Westeros do this. I mean, food is hard to come by, grease is rich in fat, and nobody likes to have grease just griming up your face, especially since you know you're not getting a bath anytime soon. I'd be trying to get all the grease into my mouth. Seven Hells.

Edit: So event though I am an omnivore I think that most vegetarians can have a great time eating with just a dagger.

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Okay so I recently went backpacking, and I brought a big knife. Which is my stand in for a dagger for purpose of this post.

I tried to eat 'Katmandu Curry' with the knife but was worried about chopping my lips off so I just carved a spoon instead.

The knife was really good for slicing slices of cheese of the chunk of gouda I brought instead of having 4 people just rip it apart with their hands or take bites and pass it around.

I ate a steak with it too. I did not let the grease run down my chin. Honestly, I don't understand why so many in Westeros do this. I mean, food is hard to come by, grease is rich in fat, and nobody likes to have grease just griming up your face, especially since you know you're not getting a bath anytime soon. I'd be trying to get all the grease into my mouth. Seven Hells.

Edit: So event though I am an omnivore I think that most vegetarians can have a great time eating with just a dagger.

Yes. Exactly. Theres something empowering about eating something you can kill fight to the death with.

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you eat with rude assholes? i pity you. if those rude assholes are your friends or family im sure they wont stop interrupting you because you pointed a pointy knife at them. and if those people are really rude assholes when you point a pointy stick at them im sure they will point a pointy gun on your face.

and im sure wiping a blade off, is just the same as wiping your fork off.

I use knife, but that is for cutting off slabs of steak. but it would be a lot less messier if i eat that with a fork. if i want to eat messy, like with a burger or hot chicken wings or just a piece of really juicy meat, i'd try to use my hands for that instead of something that could potentially stab the girl sitting beside me.

I'm picking up the sarcasm there, but you bring up some valid points so I will do my best to answer them. :D

1. Yes I eat with rude assholes, around here most people are so its a bit unavoidable, thats doesn't stop them from being friends. Pointing the knife reminds them in their partially drunken state that they have just been a rude asshole and interrupted you, thus usually causing them to pause and let you finish. Its not like you are actually putting the knife in their face or threatening to stab them and they know that. Its all good and fair, everyone else sitting there is likely also holding one. And as a rule of thumb, if the asshole is a real dick and pointing the knife causes him to begin reaching into his pocket for a weapon, then you lean over and bury the knife in the bicep of which ever arm he is reaching with and mister pointy pistol won't be coming out to play, everyone else at the table laughs their ass off and then someone gets the bright idea that heating up the blade of the knife in the camp fire and sticking it in the wound again should stop the bleeding. Then an hour later you have 15 half drunk fools in full camo covered in dirt standing in the hospital waiting to see if their dickhead buddy is going to be ok. Of course it would probably be better to just not bring beer and assholes on camping trips, but what would be the fun in that?

2. Wiping off a knife is much easier than a fork since you don't have to get between the gaps, and when you are out hiking or rock climbing you don't normally have silverware so you either eat with the knife, or you use your hands that are caked in dirt and grime from climbing. The number one rule on the list for treks like this is "DO NOT FORGET THE TOILET PAPER", bringing along silverware is way on down there on page 5.

3. Usually on hiking trips we don't have burger meat so no need to worry about trying to eat that with the knife, and stabbing the girl next to you is generally not a risk unless she is especially annoying and you have had too much beer. Of course if a person is one of those highly animated conversationalists that waves the knife around the whole time they are talking, the chances of the accidental stabbing goes way up, but in those instances a fork would be just as dangerous as a pocket knife. Basically if the person is sloshing half the beer out of their glass every time they speak, do not let them have any sharp items and all should be well.

Hopefully that clears things up a bit.

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you eat with rude assholes? i pity you. if those rude assholes are your friends or family im sure they wont stop interrupting you because you pointed a pointy knife at them. and if those people are really rude assholes when you point a pointy stick at them im sure they will point a pointy gun on your face.

and im sure wiping a blade off, is just the same as wiping your fork off.

I use knife, but that is for cutting off slabs of steak. but it would be a lot less messier if i eat that with a fork. if i want to eat messy, like with a burger Sor hot chicken wings or just a piece of really juicy meat, i'd try to use my hands for that instead of something that could potentially stab the girl sitting beside me.

You really think you might accidently stab someone sitting next to you if you eat with a dagger?

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So, what you're saying is... the grease will run down your face and dribble into your beard.

Yes. My lady-beard.

I'm not sure why GRRM doesn't get into what happens when women eat like this. "the grease from the capon dribbled onto her teats" combines so many of his favorite things.

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Yes. My lady-beard.

I'm not sure why GRRM doesn't get into what happens when women eat like this. "the grease from the capon dribbled onto her teats" combines so many of his favorite things.

I suppose we don't see many women at the table in these sort of scenes. Asha is the only one that really comes to mind, the rest are serving girls being groped by men. Any other feast involving women at the table, I guess it's assumed they'd be eating in a much more ladylike manner.

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