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Confessions....Say What v3!


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Oh, I thought that you meant that the term "heroic" might not quite apply to Tyrion and Dany, and I agreed. But I would be surprised if Bran, Sansa and Arya were considered as a "higher level of protagonisticism" (totally just invented a word) than Dany, Jon and Tyrion, who were each also POV characters since book 1. If God said anything like that, I'd be interested in reading his full statement. (Or full statements, if there were many occurences of him refering specifically only to these characters as the heroes.)

I don't think term "heroic" applies to Tyrion and I'm on the fence about Dany. If I have to pick a single character to call a hero in this story, I'd say it is Jon. I do think that the Stark kids are just as much a main character of the story as Dany, Jon, and Tyrion though. In general, I prefer the term protagonist than hero though.

Earlier this year, during the Super Bowl IIRC, Martin gave an interview for a sports magazine. In it, he was comparing the Starks to whoever won and called them the heroes of the story. There is a thread talking about it here in this forum if you want to search for it. He compared the Lannisters to another sports team as well but I don't really remember what he said about them. He said a few other things that slipped me by as I am completely sports ignorant, especially football.

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Davos looked at his king, who was standing at his doorway, and who had just dropped the simple robe he was wearing to the floor

"Lord Davos," the king began, staring at him, his voice was unusually husky, "It is time that we have another encounter." Davos nodded, staring at the two wrinkled onions between the kings legs. Stannis approached him, continuing to mutter. "Even though I was never open about it like Renly, or even like Robert" He was gritting his teeth all the while, "I cannot deny it, my wife has a mustache, even though I asked her to grow out a beard, and that red priest is too strange, no facial hair at all I need you Davos, I need to feel your beard."

Davos embraced Stannis, pulling him onto the bed and moving his hand down to massage the kings two onions. "Yes my king, I will serve." He told him as the king caressed the onion lord's facial hair.

That was... somewhat disturbing.

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Davos looked at his king, who was standing at his doorway, and who had just dropped the simple robe he was wearing to the floor"Lord Davos," the king began, staring at him, his voice was unusually husky, "It is time that we have another encounter." Davos nodded, staring at the two wrinkled onions between the kings legs. Stannis approached him, continuing to mutter. "Even though I was never open about it like Renly, or even like Robert" He was gritting his teeth all the while, "I cannot deny it, my wife has a mustache, even though I asked her to grow out a beard, and that red priest is too strange, no facial hair at all I need you Davos, I need to feel your beard." Davos embraced Stannis, pulling him onto the bed and moving his hand down to massage the kings two onions. "Yes my king, I will serve." He told him as the king caressed the onion lord's facial hair.

What? Noooo!!!!!

Yes to the Stannis on Davos sex, no to using any of the following adjectives in regards to Stannis’s guy parts: shriveled, wrinkled, paunchy, puckered, or pruned. (Wyman Manderly has used at least one of these to describe Stannis’s royal arse, and I--and, no doubt, Davos-- have yet to forgive him.)

Honestly, when imagining a satisfying Davos/ Stannis sex scene, three things are important: One-- figurative, descriptive language (lots of round onions, unpeeled cucumbers, etc.) Two-- sailing metaphors (in all his years of roaming the mighty seas, Ser Davos Seaworth had never dropped anchor in so worthy a port as his grace's!") And three: preferably non STD related comments about conquering, flaming swords. (Bonus points for using the term “the prince who was promised” in relation to the King’s Wood.)

Most importantly, though, when writing a convincing Stavos sex scene, I think it’s important to draw on the past. Indeed, who has written better sex scenes than Mr. George R.R. Martin? I he not the originator of such timeless erotic sallies as “fat pink mast”, “had there ever been a woman with nipples so large, so brown, or so responsive,” and, who could forget, “her cunt became the whole world.”

Since we can hardly improve upon perfection, I took the liberty of revisiting several timeless and unspeakably erotic scenes written by Mr. George R.R. Martin, sacrificing Stavos in for the other tedious parings we’ve been forced to read about thus far. For instance:

1. DAVOS AND STAN THE MAN—Dornish style!

“Hello Davos,” said Stannis.

Davos turned. King Stannis Baratheon stood in the doorway, wearing a magical sword swinging from one slim hip. And that was all he wore.

Silent he stood, drinking in the glories of his Grace’s body, the round ripe onions with their long, hard cucumber, the taunt lines of waist and hip. And then somehow he was holding his king, and Stannis was ripping off Davos’s extra clearance sales tunic purchased from fleabottom flea market, circa 283 AL. Stannis’s white skin was as cold and shiny as his flaming (metal!) sword. He raised his head and found his kings lips. Stannis’s onions filled his hands. His head was bald and shiny, and made Davos so hard it almost hurt.

“Touch me, ser,” his king whispered into his ear. Davos’s hand slipped down his rounded belly, and found the sweet, hard onions beneath the thicket of black hair.

“Yes, there,” Stannis murmured as Davos slipped a finger in his onions. “More, oh more, yes, sweet, my knight, my sweet onion knight, yes, you, you, I want you. Deeper. Yes, oh.”

2. DAVOS AND STANNIS—MYRISH SWAMP STYLE

Davos sat on the bed beside his king, watching his mighty onions rise and fall with his every breath. Does he dream of Selyse? He wondered. Or is it his lover Melisandre, with the red eyes and coppery hair, the dangerous woman who would make him her shaowbabydaddy? Or, perhaps, did his great king dream of another? One closer to home, and, perhaps, smelling slightly of onions?

Davos cupped his king’s onions. Softly at first, hardly touching, feeling the warmth of them beneath his calloused hands, the skin as smooth as satin. He gave the royal onions a gentle squeeze, then ran his fingers over his king’s cucumber, feeling it harden.

When he glanced up, Stannis’s eyes where open. “Does that feel good, your grace?” Davos asked.

A stifled sigh and a slow, agonizing grind of the teeth was all Davos got by way of reply.

The onion knight slid a finger into that onion swamp…

3. DAVOS AND STANNIS-- FAT PINK MAST STYLE

And then, there was Davos’s cock, popping through his pants like a fat, unpeeled onion.

Suddenly, the onion knight heard his king approach behind him—not in his usual, rapid stride; but in a hesitant, shy tread he had never yet heard before.

“I’m hungry, Davos,” his king announced. “And nothing but a fat, unpeeled onion will do…”

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What? Noooo!!!!!

Yes to the Stannis on Davos sex, no to using any of the following adjectives in regards to Stannis’s guy parts: shriveled, wrinkled, paunchy, puckered, or pruned. (Wyman Manderly has used at least one of these to describe Stannis’s royal arse, and I--and, no doubt, Davos-- have yet to forgive him.)

Honestly, when imagining a satisfying Davos/ Stannis sex scene, three things are important: One-- figurative, descriptive language (lots of round onions, unpeeled cucumbers, etc.) Two-- sailing metaphors (in all his years of roaming the mighty seas, Ser Davos Seaworth had never dropped anchor in so worthy a port as his grace's!") And three: preferably non STD related comments about conquering, flaming swords. (Bonus points for using the term “the prince who was promised” in relation to the King’s Wood.)

Most importantly, though, when writing a convincing Stavos sex scene, I think it’s important to draw on the past. Indeed, who has written better sex scenes than Mr. George R.R. Martin? I he not the originator of such timeless erotic sallies as “fat pink mast”, “had there ever been a woman with nipples so large, so brown, or so responsive,” and, who could forget, “her cunt became the whole world.”

Since we can hardly improve upon perfection, I took the liberty of revisiting several timeless and unspeakably erotic scenes written by Mr. George R.R. Martin, sacrificing Stavos in for the other tedious parings we’ve been forced to read about thus far. For instance:

1. DAVOS AND STAN THE MAN—Dornish style!

“Hello Davos,” said Stannis.

Davos turned. King Stannis Baratheon stood in the doorway, wearing a magical sword swinging from one slim hip. And that was all he wore.

Silent he stood, drinking in the glories of his Grace’s body, the round ripe onions with their long, hard cucumber, the taunt lines of waist and hip. And then somehow he was holding his king, and Stannis was ripping off Davos’s extra clearance sales tunic purchased from fleabottom flea market, circa 283 AL. Stannis’s white skin was as cold and shiny as his flaming (metal!) sword. He raised his head and found his kings lips. Stannis’s onions filled his hands. His head was bald and shiny, and made Davos so hard it almost hurt.

“Touch me, ser,” his king whispered into his ear. Davos’s hand slipped down his rounded belly, and found the sweet, hard onions beneath the thicket of black hair.

“Yes, there,” Stannis murmured as Davos slipped a finger in his onions. “More, oh more, yes, sweet, my knight, my sweet onion knight, yes, you, you, I want you. Deeper. Yes, oh.”

2. DAVOS AND STANNIS—MYRISH SWAMP STYLE

Davos sat on the bed beside his king, watching his mighty onions rise and fall with his every breath. Does he dream of Selyse? He wondered. Or is it his lover Melisandre, with the red eyes and coppery hair, the dangerous woman who would make him her shaowbabydaddy? Or, perhaps, did his great king dream of another? One closer to home, and, perhaps, smelling slightly of onions?

Davos cupped his king’s onions. Softly at first, hardly touching, feeling the warmth of them beneath his calloused hands, the skin as smooth as satin. He gave the royal onions a gentle squeeze, then ran his fingers over his king’s cucumber, feeling it harden.

When he glanced up, Stannis’s eyes where open. “Does that feel good, your grace?” Davos asked.

A stifled sigh and a slow, agonizing grind of the teeth was all Davos got by way of reply.

The onion knight slid a finger into that onion swamp…

3. DAVOS AND STANNIS-- FAT PINK MAST STYLE

And then, there was Davos’s cock, popping through his pants like a fat, unpeeled onion.

Suddenly, the onion knight heard his king approach behind him—not in his usual, rapid stride; but in a hesitant, shy tread he had never yet heard before.

“I’m hungry, Davos,” his king announced. “And nothing but a fat, unpeeled onion will do…”

:drool: :blushing: :eek: :drunk: :bowdown: :cheers:

In the words of George Takei.

'Oh my.'

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I hate Khal Drogo

lol ! Viserys was a wimp . he should be proud to be crowned by a man like Drogo

i admire Loras Tyrell (so far i haven't seen him doing anything wrong aside that he joined Lanisters [to kill Stanis only])

Brann disipointed me for leaving Tyrion in the time of need (but cheered me up with naming his wifes bastered Tyrion :giggles:)

GIVE ME MORE BLOODRAVEN in The She-Wolves of Winterfell - tnank you

i think i could point mistake in everything Jon Snow does (and that should be sufficient proof that L+R=J)

Red Wedding and Ladys Death were sadest things i ever read .

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Just finished my first re-read of AGoT, and I think Cat has the best chapters in that book. *braces himself*

Ditto! I'm up to second reread of SoS now and Cat is still one of the most enjoyable POVs. She has great political acumen. For every questionable action, she makes ten correct assessments.

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