Eucratides_Megas Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Now Im imagining him marching to Selyse and in a solemn serious voice saying " Selyse, its that occasional time again" and then an inspirational speech before he begins...Stannis: Prepare to bed her.Ser Imry: But ser...her moustache...Stannis: My brother has played his little trick with this betrothal, he can only play it once.Ser Imry: But her handmaidens, her face....there has to hundreds of maids fairer than her.Stannis: Thousands...*Cue Warrior of Light theme* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Houndess Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Fat pink mast. Horrifying, but it pops up (sorry) in my head and I giggle helplessly. It's just awful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Houndess Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Oh, and Stalwart Shield paying whores to cuddle him. It is so random, yet pathetic, that I laughed and made sympathetic noises at the same time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Wun Wun Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 ASOS; JonHe wanted it, Jon knew then. He wanted it as much as he had ever wanted anything. I have always wanted it, he thought, guiltily. May the gods forgive me. it was a hunger inside him, sharp as a dragonglass blade. A hunger... he could feel it. It was food he needed, prey, a red deer that stank of fear or a great elk proud and defiant. He needed to kill and fill his belly with fresh meat and hot dark blood. His mouth began to water with the thought. :drool: I remember the first time I read this, I still wasn't quite sure what warging was or if Jon even was one, so the extremely weird shift in thought made me laugh and all I could think was "WTF is happening to him???" :blink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Hornwood Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Sansa's and Tyrion's wedding night, when she describes his body in her head thinking how everything is so deformed and horrible and then she thinks of his penis as also being weird, but the description sounds like a normal erect penis:Even his manhood was ugly, thick and veined, with a bulbous purple head.I can't help but laugh and think "Girl, hate to break it to you, but that is what they look like". She's just bound to be dissappointed again with that approach. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woman of War Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Oh, and Stalwart Shield paying whores to cuddle him. It is so random, yet pathetic, that I laughed and made sympathetic noises at the same time.Actually this is so human, so sad I could have wept.Lady Hornwood: Sansa's and Tyrion's wedding night, when she describes his body in her head thinking how everything is so deformed and horrible and then she thinks of his penis as also being weird, but the description sounds like a normal erect penis:Even his manhood was ugly, thick and veined, with a bulbous purple head I can't help but laugh and think "Girl, hate to break it to you, but that is what they look like". She's just bound to be dissappointed again with that approach.Exactly. Fortunately she did not know better but this was funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ponys123 Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Nah, mine's all gold and shiny, and polished, and smells of roses...Wow that's some creepy territory. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Shiera Seastar~ Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 "The queen has spoken." He bowed again, as deeply as before. His pearls and amethysts clattered softly against the marble floor. A very limber man was Hizdahr zo Loraq.He might be handsome, but for that silly hair. :shocked: Whhaat???!!! And Danaerys thought Daario Naharis with hair and three-pronged beard dyed in blue handsome? "The queen has spoken" people!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeoSuperstar Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 "I seldom fling children from towers to improve their health." – Jaime LannisterAlways cracks me up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nagga's Bones Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 Quent being burned by Rhaegal cracked me up. :whip: 'Oh, he thought. Then he began to scream.' LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Broke Howard Hughes Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 Penny not realizing the show in the Mereen pit was actually supposed to end with her death. Tywin dying in the most humiliating way possible after spending his whole life trying to look like a badass. The Tickler dying having to hear the same stupid questions he'd sent so many others to their graves asking. And I forget his name (Weese???) being eaten by the very dog he loved so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pod The Impaler Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 "The queen has spoken." He bowed again, as deeply as before. His pearls and amethysts clattered softly against the marble floor. A very limber man was Hizdahr zo Loraq.He might be handsome, but for that silly hair. :shocked: Whhaat???!!! And Danaerys thought Daario Naharis with hair and three-pronged beard dyed in blue handsome? "The queen has spoken" people!!!So true. It reminds me of this argument from Anchorman: (At 0:39, she really gets him where it hurts.) :box: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolorous Nedd Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 One thing that got me laughing out loud are the Cersei POV's where she is so incredibly paranoid of and belittling to people in her thoughts. I listened to the audio books so I'm not sure it would have been as funny just reading those parts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
setmyheartafire Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 Stannis marching to duty with Selyse, though I think that aside about him and most of what Stannis says are meant to be cuttingly funny.Same with Tyrion, Bronn, and Jaime.The Florents and Mace Tyrell are hilarious but meant to be I think. I hope.Ned Stark's reaction to the Tourney held in his name, whenever it is in question, is quite funny. I can see him palm smacking his forehead a lot during all that.I never listened to the audiobooks and Cersei's condescending attitude is still hilarious. Pretty much any time she's annoyed at the Tyrells cracks me up.Roose Bolton and the messed up crap he says.Varys suggesting the tears of Lys as a way to kill Daenerys and Pycelle's reaction."Wear it in silence or I'll honor you again!"Yes, Manderly rolling around amidst sausages was too funny.Yes, if Ramsay did write the letter it is too funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Houndess Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 Actually this is so human, so sad I could have wept.It was very human, but just how it contrasted to how the Unsullied are talked about that it's funny that people are people, but people seem to forget. I am also pretty sure that sentence made no sense whatsoever, but I'm going to pretend it did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Frost Wolf Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 Stannis: Prepare to bed her.Ser Imry: But ser...her moustache...Stannis: My brother has played his little trick with this betrothal, he can only play it once.Ser Imry: But her handmaidens, her face....there has to hundreds of maids fairer than her.Stannis: Thousands...*Cue Warrior of Light theme**Stannis looks down at penis*Stannis: Cum with me and take this woman! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TMalander Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 "Don't make me rue the day I raped your mother", which is a pretty horrible thing to say, but still made me laugh so freakin' hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dementia Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 Nothing made me laugh so hard as Roose with "Don't make me rue the day I raped your mother". It is so horrible, so honest and I don't think GRRM meant for it to be funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talia Estel Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 All Cersei's thoughts during her POVs are the best! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cortchuzska Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 Cersei and Osney you-can-leave-your-hat-on Kettleback.“Only once.” He grabbed her left breast again and gave it a clumsy squeeze that reminded her of Robert.“Take off the rest before I tear that too,” he said. “You can keep the crown on. I like you in the crown.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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