Did Dany truly love Khal Drogo?

[GillyTarly]

I think she did love Drogo until she was taught to love him in "their" way.

[Selyse's Moustache Rides]

Many people have already said they'd have had sex with Drogo...

Hell, I might have had sex with Drogo. I've seen some fan art of Euron that made me gay, so the groundwork has been laid (no homo).

[Castel]

Well yes, Martin may have meant it to come off as a love story but it sure as high heaven doesn't read that way. Intent is not magic after all and at the end of the day, it's what's on paper that matters.

For instance, Martin has said on more than one occasion that Sansa bears some responsibility for Ned's death when the text itself states that Cersei knew that Ned meant to expose her, three days before Robert died and Ned was captured. All Sansa told her was that the WF party was leaving-a fact easily ascertainable by independently all of them packing their belongings and preparing to leave.

I thought that Martin is the one who clarified that Sansa's words came too late to do anything? Playing a part,howeve inadvertent, in betraying your father doesn't mean actually doing anything, it means going behind their back.

I would guess that she did enjoy it based on how the scene ended.

Becoming aroused during foreplay=/= enjoying the penetration.

[Le Cygne]

Many people have already said they'd have had sex with Drogo...

No sure if I said so, but raises hand, too.

Hell, I might have had sex with Drogo..

Laughing out loud, thank you.

What would Dany do? The scene he wrote, their first time was beautiful. If we could ever get to the point of discussing the writing. He's pretty amazing.

I love the way he starts with this:

He pulled her hands away from her breasts, gently but firmly, then lifted her face again to make her look at him. “No,” he repeated.

And closes with this:

He cupped her face in his huge hands and she looked into his eyes. “No?” he said, and she knew it was a question.

[Castel]

Also, I don't see how it being or not being a love story is relevant to whether Dany loved Drogo. It is irrelevant if people feel that it's realistic or like it or not,it seems that the text is clear on her loving the Khal.

[Selyse's Moustache Rides]

I think we are all missing the overall point of ASoIaF here, and that there are shades of grey in people and labeling people and things as evil or not evil, love or not love, is beside the point. Maybe it was love, maybe it wasn't love, but whatever the case, it happened.

[Lady Tippy Wolfsbane]

Well, I agree with GRRM that Tyrion is funny --despite his 'grey' nature--, and I also feel that Sansa bears some irresponsibility for Ned's execution --although she is not fully responsible. And I obviously believe that Dany and Drogo had a twisted "love story".

I guess I'm just as messed up as GRRM.

[Lady Tippy Wolfsbane]

Becoming aroused during foreplay=/= enjoying the penetration.

Yet, becoming aroused often leads to a better feeling during penetration that when you are not aroused.

If you are aroused the pain is also more likely to be considered "good pain".

[Lady Tippy Wolfsbane]

Also, I don't see how it being or not being a love story is relevant to whether Dany loved Drogo. It is irrelevant if people feel that it's realistic or like it or not,it seems that the text is clear on her loving the Khal.

Because most people against the idea of Dany loving Drogo insist that it was not love considering it does not read like a "love story" and is unrealistic, regardless of what the text indicates.

[willy york]

id have sex with drogo but only as a sign of dominance im not attracted to men

[Theda Baratheon]

Also, I don't see how it being or not being a love story is relevant to whether Dany loved Drogo. It is irrelevant if people feel that it's realistic or like it or not,it seems that the text is clear on her loving the Khal.

Exactly. The question is did Dany love Drogo? The answer is 'Yes'.

[RhaenysBee]

It is possible to disagree with authors, you know. They're not infallible. After all, GRRM is the same guy who actually thinks Tyrion is funny.

Obviously she wouldn't. Even in the 21st century a large number of rape victims don't consider their experiences as "rape".

But I'm not simply asserting my opinion as fact - I'm giving evidence as to why it's unrealistic. I could continue if you want, but I've already made these points countless times so there really is no point.

Why don't we all put ourselves in Dany's position. She's a 13 year old short, skinny girl. She's been abused for most of her life. She's just been sold to someone she considers barbaric, who is multiple-times larger than her and doesn't speak any of her languages. She can't say no to him. She's a virgin. She's never even been kissed.

Are you honestly going to tell me that you would willingly consent to have sex with Drogo if you were Daenerys?

I hate Tyrion, but you have to give one thing to the bloke: he IS funny.

I don't see who you are arguing with. You turn away what I say, what everybody else says, what GRRM says, what Daenerys thinks... there's just nothing you would listen to. Everybody is fallible except for you? Also yes, you are trying to prove your point, but we are doing the same, we have evidences and proofs too, that you turn away at once. And most of your evidences are just other beliefs of yours supporting this other belief concerning Drogo and Daenerys.

No, please don't list your points again :D

Drogo was considered a Barbarian and yet he was ten times more caring and attendant and gentle with her than her own brother, obviously that made a good first impression on Daenerys. Obviously she was afraid, everybody is a little afraid of being with a man for the first time. Again, her size is nothing to preach about, you know small women have babies which are ten times Drogo's or even Tormund's size. And for about the fifth time: if I was married to Drogo and he gifted me a horse and was nice and gentle to me while nobody had ever been nice or gentle to me and he caressed me and all that I would totally kiss him and willingly consent to have sex with Drogo. I'm honestly telling you this for the fifth time. And other people have told it too.

[Kolantero]

After all, GRRM is the same guy who actually thinks Tyrion is funny.

HOW DARE HE!

[Castel]

Yet, becoming aroused often leads to a better feeling during penetration that when you are not aroused.

If you are aroused the pain is also more likely to be considered "good pain".

Yes. It's possible that Drogo was more gentle than the next few times, still, like Patrick I think a 13 year old is going to have...difficulties, gentle or no. But I leave it to the members of the forum more experienced with those things.

Because most people against the idea of Dany loving Drogo insist that it was not love considering it does not read like a "love story" and is unrealistic, regardless of what the text indicates.

Yeah,I don't see the point in arguing that it was not love. You can call it Stockholm Syndrome but I don't see how it matters in the slightest here. It's just a nice way to separate feelings you approve of and those you don't. If I cut out the reasons that Dany married Drogo and the way their relationship started and left the passages where she talks about how she feels I don't think that anyone would claim that they are not in love.

In real life it may be another thing but I don't see the point here.

[Le Cygne]

Drogo was considered a Barbarian and yet he was ten times more caring and attendant and gentle with her than her own brother, obviously that made a good first impression on Daenerys. Obviously she was afraid, everybody is a little afraid of being with a man for the first time. Again, her size is nothing to preach about, you know small women have babies which are ten times Drogo's or even Tormund's size. And for about the fifth time: if I was married to Drogo and he gifted me a horse and was nice and gentle to me while nobody had ever been nice or gentle to me and he caressed me and all that I would totally kiss him and willingly consent to have sex with Drogo. I'm honestly telling you this for the fifth time. And other people have told it too.

That's kind of poetic what you just wrote. I agree.

And the part about something being scary. My first kiss was scary. My first everything was scary. Scary is not always a bad thing. Sometimes it's what leads us on to the next wonderful thing in life.

[Lady Tippy Wolfsbane]

id have sex with drogo but only as a sign of dominance im not attracted to men

HAHAHA! This caught me totally off guard!

[RhaenysBee]

That's kind of poetic what you just wrote. I agree.

And the part about something being scary. My first kiss was scary. My first everything was scary. Scary is not always a bad thing. Sometimes it's what leads us on to the next wonderful thing in life.

Well, I think first everything is scary because it's in human nature to be afraid of the unknown. And most of this unknown eventually turns out fairly well. Okay, my first kiss didn't, it was a mess, but that's not the point since the second was the next wonderful thing in life, as you said x"D

[Le Cygne]

It's a common theme in the books, fear of the unknown, and overcoming fears.

“Robb says the man died bravely, but Jon says he was afraid.”

“What do you think?” his father asked.

Bran thought about it. “Can a man still be brave if he’s afraid?”

“That is the only time a man can be brave,” his father told him.

[Lady Tippy Wolfsbane]

Yes. It's possible that Drogo was more gentle than the next few times, still, like Patrick I think a 13 year old is going to have...difficulties, gentle or no. But I leave it to the members of the forum more experienced with those things.

Oh, I'm sure she had difficulties; but that doesn't mean she was brutalized or didn't enjoy herself. That's all I'm saying.

On a personal note; I'm a small girl and often have difficulties, but I don't consider it to be a bad experience overall.

Yeah,I don't see the point in arguing that it was not love. You can call it Stockholm Syndrome but I don't see how it matters in the slightest here. It's just a nice way to separate feelings you approve of and those you don't. If I cut out the reasons that Dany married Drogo and the way their relationship started and left the passages where she talks about how she feels I don't think that anyone would claim that they are not in love.

In real life it may be another thing but I don't see the point here.

​I feel you, that's a point I made earlier in the thread. :cheers:

[Lord Illidan Stormrage]

It appears we are finding out that some girls would and some would not react to Drogo like Dany did. Just because you or you and your friends would not be willing does not mean it is unrealistic, because there are some girls who would. I think this is a question where anecdotal evidence is worthless, because people are different. The willing girls may be a minority, and girls like Sansa may be more realistic, but so what? One Sansa in the story is enough.

By our standards Drogo may have been a "big savage" brute, but not by the standards of the world that Dany inhabits. Also, as someone pointed out earlier, there is not a lot of difference between Dany being sold into marriage for a political alliance, and young women and girls in Westeros being sold into marriage. The primary difference is that sometimes they have some say; but there is still a lot of pressure on them to do what is expected of them. If Drogo is a rapist, it is only a short leap to say The Ned is a rapist.

Drogo is indeed a rapist, perhaps not of Dany but a rapist nevertheless.