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"They're All So Beautiful", a documentary on race and dating


Yagathai

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Just curious, what are the stereotypes of asian men people alude to?

The one thing I can think of is working long hours and spending the evenings at the bar, which seems A) Hardly a uniquely asian stereotype and B) hardly something to be attracted too

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But, but, what about the hate sex?

That's true...

Damn you EP !!! Now I can't even be discriminatory on the basis of hate !!!

To be perfectly honest, there is one thing that I can't do in a dating situation. I personally can't date anyone unless they are intelligent and artistic in some way. There is just not enough time in this world to spend with boring and stupid people.

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That's true...

Damn you EP !!! Now I can't even be discriminatory on the basis of hate !!!

To be perfectly honest, there is one thing that I can't do in a dating situation. I personally can't date anyone unless they are intelligent and artistic in some way. There is just not enough time in this world to spend with boring and stupid people.

How dare you make a judgment call against stupid people.

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It all begins with the unsettling staring-at or fixation on you by someone. The facial hair only adds to it. Facial hair on its own doesn't a fetishist make.

I understand the whole creeper factor, but when you're discussing the staring at/fixation thing...isn't that something that anyone who is considered very attractive physically has to deal with? Good looking people tend to get stared at, and I'm not sure why being stared at by someone who finds you particularly attractive because they like an "Asian look" is somehow worse than someone who stares at you because you have great boobs. Or why liking "an Asian look" is somehow more worthy of condemnation than being attracted to women with great legs.

That being said, I can see how stereotypes about behaviors, whether perceived submissiveness or whatever, would piss someone off.

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Just curious, what are the stereotypes of asian men people alude to?

The one thing I can think of is working long hours and spending the evenings at the bar, which seems A) Hardly a uniquely asian stereotype and B) hardly something to be attracted too

Wait...what?! You mean to tell me my Dad is Asian?! He'll certainly be surprised! He's always thought he's Irish :P

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Meanwhile, the board ads display pretty Asian ladies.

I'm always stunned and amazed that that one comes up so often on this board.

I am so fake moral outraged about the men who feel free to make Asian-related comments about my body or my preferences. All the times I've walked by some white men and they say "me so horny" as I pass.

And I consider myself to be someone fortunate enough to have been relatively unaffected by racism in my life. (And I'm distinguishing these events from what one might call negatively focused racism).

Now someone is probably wanting to say - but lots of women (or people in general) have to deal with unwanted comments about their personal life or get cat calls or are in danger of sexual assault from people who think they're entitled to it. Or say, someone who wants to act out a humiliation scene without a woman's consent obviously has problems that go beyond obsession with Japan. And I don't disagree. But we get these racially motivated things on top of the rest.

I'm not accusing or defending Mina here - I think it's unfair to stereotype someone by facial hair, but I accept her explanation that the men were already creepy and happened to have something that she doesn't find attractive.

The ability to change is a huge defining line to me - even though I think you shouldn't change if you don't want to. If there was something I could do to magically make people never see me as culturally different from other Americans again, I would. Now ideally, that would mean making people accept that an American can be any race, and just because that person isn't white doesn't mean they have another cultural/national background or speak other languages that they want to share with strangers asking personal questions. But you know what, I'd settle for just magically being able to make strangers not see me as Asian. Because I don't see myself that way in regards to culture, language, family, etc. I know that color-blind rhetoric is often bullshit, but being Asian honestly is nothing more than a physical appearance to me.

Jesus Jumped up Christ on a pogo stick! That's pretty damn bad. Sorry you've had to experience that shit. My first inclination is to tell them to, "Fuck off, Asshole!" to show them how un-docile an Asian person can really be, but I worry that these crazies would escalate.

Just curious, what are the stereotypes of asian men people alude to?

Yeah, I'm curious too. Unless it's primarily in the Gay community, I'm not aware of any stereotypes about Asian men.

I find some very attractive and some not - just like Caucasion men or Black men, etc.

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Re: Ep

I get you. And I agree with everything you said, and I share similar experience in the objectification treatment.

But I think HE's use of "fake" is in the context of "you're indulging in stereotyping yourself so your outrage at racism against Asians is unauthentic on the basis of your dislike of stereotypes, i.e., it's not that you have a moral objection to stereotypes, you just don't like it when it's applied to you." It's the sort of nonsensical response that people who're more interested in the gotcha! game would use, in my experience.

Re: stereotypes against Asian men

There are stereotypes aplenty for Asian men.

I can't count the times I've been asked if I know kung-fu. Like all you white people know fencing, right? This is applied more to Asian men and less so to Asian females, far as I can see.

Another stereotype is based on mass media portrayal, where Asian men are much less likely to be portrayed as action heroes. Unless it's marital arts. Then you have Jackie Chan and Jet Li and Bruce Lee. It's even more rare to see Asian men as romantic leads. As black men are often over-sexualized in mass media, Asian men are under-sexualized. It goes hand-in-hand with the model minority paradigm where Asians are seen as non-threatening to the status quo (internment camp during WW2 notwithstanding), imo. It's a general emasculation of Asian men in the eyes of the dominant culture.

In the specific context of gay/bi men, the most offensive stereotype is basically the same attitude shown in the documentary film but applied to gay Asian men - they're all so beautiful with smooth skin and they're so docile and isn't it adorable they all have small dicks. There are some white men who go for the lady boy types and they tend to assume that most gay Asians fall into that type. Dominant, assertive, masculine Asian men tend to throw some of these people with an Asian fetish for a loop. That said, I have encountered two examples where they were seeking out specifically dominant Asian men. I don't know how to feel about that, to be honest, and I am still processing that.

And yes I've had all sorts of racially originated sexual comments thrown my way. One that takes the gem is "Oh I love Asian small dicks I bet you want to be fucked by a big white cock!" Maybe, but not by you, douchebag. At least "I want to suck on your springroll" is a bit humorous.

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Re: stereotypes against Asian men

There are stereotypes aplenty for Asian men.

Don't forget math! My brother in law is of Chinese descent and is an art teacher at a public high school in a medium sized city. Once, in the teacher's break room, another teacher asked if he would help her with something because he's Asian. He wasn't expecting a math question, since he's an art teacher. But that's what he got from her. He didn't know the answer.

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Don't forget math! My brother in law is of Chinese descent and is an art teacher at a public high school in a medium sized city. Once, in the teacher's break room, another teacher asked if he would help her with something because he's Asian. He wasn't expecting a math question, since he's an art teacher. But that's what he got from her. He didn't know the answer.

Oh yes that old chesnut. But that applies to all Asians, both men and women, I think. No less irritating, of course. And I can't even complain since I AM good at math and science, lol.

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Surely we must now discuss the proper belt system for the marital arts. And who gives them out?

If a black belt in marital arts is the gold standard, are we giving those to folks who have been married for 50 years or folks who are on their 7th marriage?

I always figured the marital arts referred to the skills equired in a marriage, rather than the ones you needed to get one.

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Re: 7th pup

And if you had the chance to ask them, they'd most likely say that they were shocked, stunned in fact, that someone could take their flattery as insults. What kind of a fucked-up PC world is it that you can't tell someone that they're pretty? It's not a crime to think that Asians (women) are gorgeous.

;-)

I know I am such a bitch for thinking bad of them. I am probably just jealous that they didn't include me in the "fine looking" category. :P

I don't think there is ever a context where you can say "they have a lot of beautiful racial woman there." and have it not come off as blatantly racist and sexist. However if this had been some kind of function where to middle aged, beer bellied guys had a socially acceptable reason to comment on a 21 year old's pants. (A church function?) it might have at least toned down the complete creep factor. However stopping a complete stranger stranger in order to tell them that they are part of a group of beautiful racial group, while leering and acting a fool is just disgusting.

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Chef:

I can't speak for all Asians, but here's the distinguishing line - is the preference based on something that is legitimate?

For instance, some people prefer certain physiques and/or skin color combinations, and sometimes this combination is more commonly found in some ethnic groups. So in that case, their infatuation with one ethnic group is not necessarily problematic. However, if that's the case, I would also want to see if they're receptive to people from other ethnic groups which, while on average may not exemplify the preferred traits, still produces people that do fit that set of criteria.

In other words, if some white man likes lithe, small-framed, smooth skinned, tanned females, he's more likely to find them amongst SE Asians. But does he then reject a lithe, small-framed, smooth skinned, tanned female from, say, Puerto Rico? From Brazil? From Uruguay? From an American with native American heritage? If not, then he passes the test, far as I can tell. On the other hand, if you present to him three females of roughly the same physical appearance and he goes for the Asian, then yeah, that may not pass the smell test.

Then, you have people who prefer Asians for reasons that I find to be unreasonable. For instance, they like Asian women because they see Asian women as more domestic and more likely to obey their husbands. Or they like Asian men because they like effeminate lady boys.

But, ultimately, given the diversity of body types and cultural features of SE Asian countries, anyone who proclaims that "I like Asians" is automatically suspect of over-broad generalization at best, and cultural objectification at worst. Imagine, for instance, if I were to delcare that I'm sexually attracted to Americans, that I find Americans to be rather easily led and docile, that their white hairy skin is the pinnacle of beauty. Does that even make sense? I'd think not. And it's not because there are no docile Americans, or that white hairy people cannot be seen as highly attractive, but because I am using the term "American" to represent these traits when in reality, "American" encompasses so much more.

I've seen this thread before and I've never understood the need to single out white men here. What about black men who date ONLY white women. And what about asian women who date only white men or white women who date only black men?

I can only speak from experience, but I have known many white male friends who prefer Asian women, but I'm not sure the reasons are necessarily negative. Asian women are generally more petite or slender on average and that is something some men like. I'm not sure how being more attracted to one race can be deemed as creepy or racist. Personally I'm not attracted to very many Asian women. I've only dated one in my lifetime and it was because we were good friends...am I racist because I'm less attracted to Asian women than other ethnicities?

You say that if they are attracted to other women(or men) who fit the same physical traits then they aren't necessarily racist, and that would make sense. However, in most cases an Asian women may be more open to a relationship. For instance I have a friend who has dated a lot of Asian women...he's dated other ethnicities as well, but he's short and skinny and most white women or women of other ethnicities won't give him the time of day, but he's never had any problems dating Asian women. If a lot of Asian women are more attracted to white men, then why wouldn't some of these men date women who find them attractive?

I do not doubt there are plenty of creepy white men out there who do date primarily Asian women for creepy reasons, but I think the percentages being thrown out in this thread are largely overinflated and unfair to many couples.

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This thread is about yellow fever because the documentary is called Seeking Asian Female and the discussion forum is called They're All So Beautiful. Feel free to open another thread about people who objectify others based on their race. That means people with jungle fever, Latin fever, or the disparity in rates of interracial couples.

There are so many body types among Asians. Perhaps here in the US you see only the slender or petite ones. I can assure you that petite is not a word you'd describe me with. There are Asians who are tall, skinny, fat, obese even, short. Every body type is represented among Asians, who number in the billions.

There are many reasons why Asian women will go for white men that have nothing to do with two people having common interests and falling in love - colonialism, media portrayals, immigration status (for American white men), family rules (where Asian women are allowed to marry outside the race but Asian men are not). This thread isn't about those things.

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