"They're All So Beautiful", a documentary on race and dating

[eyenon15]

... it was exactly what she said.

.....no it isn't. But at least that guy didn't put quotes around it like it's really what she said

[eyenon15]

Nah, all statements must be a web of interlocking qualifications that prevent anyone on the internet from taking offense at any generalization.

Is this it? Or is it certain people aren't allowed to be offended by anything.

[Larry of the Lawn]

Dude, go back to the.video, and listen to what she.says.right.around 1:30 about how there's nothing.wrong with having dating preferences. Seems like she's explicitly not describing all men that only date Asians, but rather.those that fixate.on race. If you do that, maybe you'll realize that you misinterpreted the video? Like Matt damons character in the departed says , you don't have to believe me, just listen to what I'm saying to you.

[Theda Baratheon]

I'm so confused that this argument has lasted pages and not a few posts.

eyenon; you got offended by something you thought she said but in fact...she didn't say at all.

She never said ''all men who only date asian women or who have found more success in dating asian women are creepy and gross and they all desperately try to learn an asian language and collect samurai swords'' she DID NOT SAY THAT.

She expressed frustration due to obviously having experiences with a lot of men who treat her in a specific way due to their own ignorant assumptions. She is completely allowed to express said frustration and the fact it has made you go agrressive and hostile either means, you do the things she's mentioned and you're annoyed at being insulted

fair enough

or two, you don't do the things she's mentioned but happened to have a spell of primarily dating asian women so you have taken it upon yourself to believe she is including men like you in her frustration and you don't like that.

Either way, she never said she'd dated every man who had dated a string of asian women, she wasn't talking about you unless you do the things she was talking about and if you do and you're offended at being insulted, fair enough, but your hostility isn't warranted when you take into consideration just WHY she's so frustrated in the first fucking place.

sorry if incoherent; it's half one in the morning and im really bemused that it has taken 4 or so pages of ''she wasn't talking about you though'' and it hasn't sunk in yet

i think THAT is why so many people are arguing with eyenon, not because they are bullies but because they are just fucking BEMUSED and frustrated

[Howdyphillip]

Oh look... Another thread thrown completely into chaos because of eyenon15's inability to understand simple forms of communication, and his insistence at getting his point across by screaming the loudest

I don't think you are a racist at all eyenon. I just think that you have a very hard time understanding things, and when you are corrected, instead of trying to listen, you double down on the things that you misconstrue.

[DanteGabriel]

Oh look... Another thread thrown completely into chaos because of eyenon15's inability to understand simple forms of communication, and his insistence at getting his point across by screaming the loudest

I don't think you are a racist at all eyenon. I just think that you have a very hard time understanding things, and when you are corrected, instead of trying to listen, you double down on the things that you misconstrue.

I get the feeling he'd already decided what she was saying before he even watched the damn video.

[Shryke]

Oh look... Another thread thrown completely into chaos because of eyenon15's inability to understand simple forms of communication, and his insistence at getting his point across by screaming the loudest

I don't think you are a racist at all eyenon. I just think that you have a very hard time understanding things, and when you are corrected, instead of trying to listen, you double down on the things that you misconstrue.

He's done this before?

Cause seriously, the complete inability to pull meaning from communication combined with the thin skin and rancour is getting comical at this point.

[eyenon15]

These are horrible justifications.

It's like me saying "Hispanics steal and rob!" If you aren't a Hispanic that robs and steals then I'm not talking about you so I'm free to say what annoys me!

And I never said all Hispanics rob and steal!

If it's been 4 pages or one million I know what WAS said in that video.

And HowdyPhillip, stop stalking please.

It's getting creepy.

"Chaos", how dramatic

[broken one]

i think THAT is why so many people are arguing with eyenon, not because they are bullies but because they are just fucking BEMUSED and frustrated

Believe me, bemusement and frustration appear when you try to convince conservative and ignorant majority on internet boards that it is not nice to mock homosexuals or that it is stupid to spread church - spawned lies about feminism or that leftist Jews from Brussels dont want to legalize human - dolphin marriages.

When you & a pack of alike - thinkers give some fool a lesson it is rather a source of satisfation. Just saying ;-)

[Theda Baratheon]

Believe me, bemusement and frustration appear when you try to convince conservative and ignorant majority on internet boards that it is not nice to mock homosexuals or that it is stupid to spread church - spawned lies about feminism or that leftist Jews from Brussels dont want to legalize human - dolphin marriages.

I don't really understand your point here, apparently we can only feel bemusement at really bad things? in which case, I don't actually feel bemused, I feel angry and exasperated.

When you & a pack of alike - thinkers give some fool a lesson it is rather a source of satisfation. Just saying ;-)

And just what lesson was I apparently trying to give? There really isn't any smugness in my post, it's all frustration and bemusement that an argument just lasted 4 fucking pages because someone can't or WON'T understand something. Also, do not appreciate you implying I'm part of this apparent ''bullying'' (which I don't really see anyway but there ya go) as I'm someone who was bullied for years on end my self. Excuse me if I'm not really equating my experiences with some guy on the internet who refuses to fucking listen when a chorus of people tell him what he thought the woman said was actually wrong and that he is choosing to be offended by something he thinks she said when she DIDN'T.

Oh, and believe me, if there's a smug person here it'd be the one using the condescending wink smiley. Just sayin'

These are horrible justifications.

It's like me saying "Hispanics steal and rob!" If you aren't a Hispanic that robs and steals then I'm not talking about you so I'm free to say what annoys me!

And I never said all Hispanics rob and steal!

If it's been 4 pages or one million I know what WAS said in that video.

And HowdyPhillip, stop stalking please.

It's getting creepy.

"Chaos", how dramatic

eyenon; I'm not trying to personally attack you here, I understand you were upset by being called a racist. I agree with Philip, I don't think you're a racist, BUT I also agree with him when he says you actually do this quite often. I'm not trying to insult you here and I don't follow you (and I highly doubt HowdyPhilip does too) just to personally attack you, but maybe you should perhaps read things more carefully before you post because sometimes your posts are rather incoherent and you tend to repeat yourself again and again in threads

Like I said, not trying to personally attack you here at all, I'm just saying maybe read things more carefully :)

[broken one]

I did not mean YOU as YOU, it was an abstract, like ONE or ME. It is clear you are not the part of the bullying and I am not implying anything like that. In first version it was supposed to be ME but I have changed that (it is based on my experience - how come you did not notice the part about dolphins but just the part about bullying?). English is not my mother tongue and I guess it is plain to see its poor, still I hoped it would do.

What I mean is I really cannot see much reason for frustration for those who slapped eyenon (and again - I do not claim you were one of those - you just written something like justification with which I disagreed) and at the same time I can see the reason why eyenon may be wound up.

And the safety winking did not help me, oh well....

Edit: I think bullying is something you (he, her and I ) do, not something we are. One does not have to be 100kg tatooed motherfucker to give sbd hard time. just a digression.

[Theda Baratheon]

I just have a bias towards winky faces sometimes because used to know a few of the most condescending people who would just use them all the time and it bugs the hell out of me hahahah nothing personal there.

[eyenon15]

I don't really understand your point here, apparently we can only feel bemusement at really bad things? in which case, I don't actually feel bemused, I feel angry and exasperated.

And just what lesson was I apparently trying to give? There really isn't any smugness in my post, it's all frustration and bemusement that an argument just lasted 4 fucking pages because someone can't or WON'T understand something. Also, do not appreciate you implying I'm part of this apparent ''bullying'' (which I don't really see anyway but there ya go) as I'm someone who was bullied for years on end my self. Excuse me if I'm not really equating my experiences with some guy on the internet who refuses to fucking listen when a chorus of people tell him what he thought the woman said was actually wrong and that he is choosing to be offended by something he thinks she said when she DIDN'T.

Oh, and believe me, if there's a smug person here it'd be the one using the condescending wink smiley. Just sayin'

eyenon; I'm not trying to personally attack you here, I understand you were upset by being called a racist. I agree with Philip, I don't think you're a racist, BUT I also agree with him when he says you actually do this quite often. I'm not trying to insult you here and I don't follow you (and I highly doubt HowdyPhilip does too) just to personally attack you, but maybe you should perhaps read things more carefully before you post because sometimes your posts are rather incoherent and you tend to repeat yourself again and again in threads

Like I said, not trying to personally attack you here at all, I'm just saying maybe read things more carefully :)

Bullshit!!! Look at the thread there's like 5 people consistently posting on this thread.

Most of whom I see arguing and talking shit to people in almost every thread they participate in, just as much "chaos" on those threads as this one.

Look at any thread on this forum that's over 10 pages, they all are full of people arguing.

But your going to act like I'm some habitual chaos starter, that's fukin weak.

[Eponine]

I'm so confused that this argument has lasted pages and not a few posts.

I feel like this is happening more lately, although I don't know if that's a true perception - allowing one person to totally derail a thread while everyone else centers the discussion around convincing that one person, whether they have a legitimate point or (more often) have poor reading comprehension or a nonsensical argument. (Different from having a lot of people discussing things with some disagreements because it all ends up being directed to only the one person).

[Glaurung]

I'm saying that the white thing wasnt even focused on. She mentions white once and its in a specific example. Thats why I find the focus on the whole white guy thing out of place.

Eta: I didn't feel like she wad talking about white guys in particular. Watch.the.video again, because she isn't.

It's not really the video so much as the overall thread which has focused only on white men with yellow fever. He(and others like him) should understand that nobody is saying "all white guys", but the thing is, when people focus on something it's discussed as a large phenomenon and so when he's out with his SO he may feel like others are looking at him and his SO and thinking that he's one of those guys, prejudging them. Especially if he has facial hair apparently. And don't say that they don't prejudge because as a couple of people said earlier in the thread, they won't even date a white guy unless they know about his dating history first....which basically means they're assigning the stereotype to every white guy until he proves himself to not be of that type. What I'm saying is nobody should have to do that. Stereotypes are just wrong period and there are better ways to discuss a phenomenon without singling out one group of people.

Then they should have some sympathy for Asian-Americans who are tired of being stereotyped. If people question their motives, yeah, that's a bad stereotype about white men. But it's also rooted in the stereotype that Asians are exotic and foreign, and the man who chases them is attracted to something for the sake of its exoticism. If it wasn't such a ubiquitous stereotype about Asians, the stereotype that white men who date them are pursuing that stereotype wouldn't exist.

I don't think anybody is saying that they don't have sympathy for Asian-Americans who are tired of being stereotyped. I don't recall anybody ever saying that they didn't sympathize. But while you have a right to be upset about being stereotyped, so do they(even if the stereotype is not as harsh or prevalent). Now, I like to play devil's advocate and take the position of the minority position(unless it's something I strongly disagree with), so maybe I'm overstating it. But I do believe that two wrongs don't make a right and it would be best for everybody if all stereotypes were avoided, even against white males. While I do agree they face less discrimination or negative stereotypes, they still do have the same capacity for feelings and emotions and if they feel like they are being lumped in with a stereotype or singled out then they have the same capacity to get upset about it.

"we must be very gentle with white men. they have received comparatively little criticism and consequently have the softest skins of all"

Yes some of us do have pretty thin skin lol. For the most part I have learned to control these emotions and realize that they're irrational. Some haven't.

I will admit though that this topic does bother me a little bit because I'm in an interracial marriage as my wife is black. I've had black men(and a few white women & men as well) accuse me of many different reasons for being with her. As if there could be or should be any reason other than that I met her and fell in love with her. A couple have tried to fight me. My wife has received similar accusations from white women and black men and even a few black women. I think shit like this thread only helps to strengthen the position of true bigots. It makes it OK to stereotype and question people's motives and while the intent of this thread wasn't bad and nobody was trying to say "all white guys...", the casualness of the discussion and seeming acceptance of it makes it seem like it is ok to single out any group and throw out stereotypes about them, and this only perpetuates and endorses those who are actual bigots. They are being justified in their own mind. I understand that white people, men in particular, haven't had to deal with the discrimination and oppression that others have experienced. I also don't think that this is somehow justification that they can be used as the default example of anybody who is trying to single out a specific negative trait. Just because one group has experienced less in the past doesn't mean they should be the group that is singled out...I mean the lack of logic is astounding that this is somehow justified.. Two wrongs don't make a right. I would think that most people who are liberals and endorse equality could get behind the idea that we should do what we can to avoid offending any group of people. ANY group. Treating all people and all groups of people equally and not singling any group out for anything is the best way to avoid offending and it's also the best way to avoid endorsing negative behavior. When you make acceptions, you are basically endorsing negative behavior so long as it's only towards one group...cause you know...they haven't had to experience as much negative behavior. When you really break it down it doesn't make any logical sense.

That's just the way I feel though. I'm not saying I'm right, and I take no offense with those who disagree.

[Yagathai]

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him not be an idiot because horses aren't known for being particularly smart.

[Weeping Sore]

Idiots don't drink water. They drink only Brawndo, the Thirst Mutilator.

[Athias]

I don't understand what this documentary is supposed be -- is it an observation or a public service announcement. If the point is to convey that there are men who have a preference for Asian women, then the "research" was conducted entirely in vain -- this is already known. Preferences are malleable and subjected to various end values. Even if these men prefer Asian women for the most superficial of reasons, so what?

[polishgenius]

Even if these men prefer Asian women for the most superficial of reasons, so what?

Did you not read, like, any of the topic?

[TerraPrime]

[mod hat]

Okay, that's about enough posts focusing on one user. Let's move away from that and pay more attention to the topic at hand. This thread is about racism against Asians and descendants of Asians in America, specifically in the area of sexual fetishizing. Let's stick to that. Complaints about racism against white people can get to a different thread.

[/mod hat]