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I Confess


Fragile Bird

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Oh hell no.

BUCKWHEAT: YOU OWE US A CONFESSION!!

Whoops. Sorry. :blushing: Will have to think about it. I am not sure what will be acceptable by your standards, since I am but a young girl etc.

:leaving:

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If you are underaged I accept your confession. You probably shouldn't be reading the books or watching a rated R TV show though either :P

Eh, no, I am not underage, just probably extremely unexperienced in all kinds of things. :)

I could probably do the other-way confessions? As in, I never <insert something that everybody expects one would have done here>. :P

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Hey, the original post was about the dangers of overstocking the fridge, not about the time Fragile Bird used her KitchenAid to dispose of a corpse.* :P

*which never happened, and if it did happen it certainly did not happen in Richmond, Ontario and definitely not in late August 2007.

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Uh, I was the teachers' favourite a lot in primary and high school. I might have relied on that sometimes. :P

Also, I was always good at keeping silent whenever there was something wrong in the house and just let my parents assume my brother was to blame, so he got yelled at.

That is all I have for now, but I might think of other things if I think carefully. :P

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Skunkbelly: YOU OWE US A CONFESSION!!

Hmmmm, let's see. In January, I bought my friend's son one of those horse figurines with a knight riding on it. It was two separate parts and each had a price tag. The clerk only charged me for the horse and not the knight (she thought it was one piece) and I did not correct her. I felt terrible afterwards, but not too bad because I got it from a huge chain hobby store and I figured that Corporate America could suck it up.

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I'm American and I watch The Only Way is Essex and It's all About Amy. They're showing Coronation Street on HULU FFS. That's because they're popular. And I realize maybe for you to admit that YOU watch it - because you have a brain - is difficult, but it's actually the norm.

DRACARYA! YOU OWE US A CONFESSION!!

I refuse to answer you seriously because you watch The Only Way is Essex. And you were only slightly condescending. :D

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I closed down a strip club in Reno. Yes. I *was there until CLOSING TIME*. And that's pretty bad, considering that we started at 8 pm. There were numerous lap dances and a trip to the VIP Room.

I was so hung over that I lost an entire *day* and my credit card. Though I may have lost the credit card when drunk. I'm sure the guy on the other end of the phone at Amex was dying laughing when he got my phone call..."Yes, sir, I lost my card...where?...um, at a strip club..."

It was pretty fucking epic, though.

(edited fer spellin)

A stripper once let me feel her boobs in a strip club bathroom. I did so while telling her about unionization (I know very little about unions). So, I may have given a stripper incorrect information about unions. Forgive me father for I have sinned.

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I closed down a strip club in Reno. Yes. I *was there until CLOSING TIME*. And that's pretty bad, considering that we started at 8 pm. There were numerous lap dances and a trip to the VIP Room.

I was so hung over that I lost an entire *day* and my credit card. Though I may have lost the credit card when drunk. I'm sure the guy on the other end of the phone at Amex was dying laughing when he got my phone call..."Yes, sir, I lost my card...where?...um, at a strip club..."

It was pretty fucking epic, though.

What time do they close in Reno? I stayed until closing time at a local club. Which closes at 2:00 am, and we showed up around 6:00 pm. Not a bad stint. Although, it was a bachelor party, so I can't take all the credit.

A stripper once let me feel her boobs in a strip club bathroom. I did so while telling her about unionization (I know very little about unions). So, I may have given a stripper incorrect information about unions. Forgive me father for I have sinned.

A stripper once let me feel her boobs during a lap dance. Among other things. Several strippers actually. Ahhh, Vegas.

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hahaha I'm American. Watching that show makes me worldly *dies*

*hugs Dracarya*

I'd like to say that everyone from Essex isn't like that, but I'd probably be lying. I confess I spent 6 years of my life in Essex. :P

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If KFC would finally come out with a bucket of fried chicken skin I would officially give up. I would sit on my couch eating chicken skin and drinking cheap white wine while watching What Not to Wear. My husband would probably leave me and I wouldn't care as long as I had my chicken skin.

I'd join you.

I'm sitting here shaking my head at how bad that is, but I've got to be honest in this thread, right? It is the CONFESSIONS thread.

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If KFC would finally come out with a bucket of fried chicken skin I would officially give up. I would sit on my couch eating chicken skin and drinking cheap white wine while watching What Not to Wear. My husband would probably leave me and I wouldn't care as long as I had my chicken skin.

We could all sit there together. Mmmmm chicken skin!

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Where do I begin, my lords and ladies? I am a vile man, I confess it. My crimes and sins are beyond counting. I have lied and cheated, gambled and whored. I'm not particularly good at violence, but I'm good at convincing others to do violence for me. You want specifics, I suppose. When I was seven, I saw a servant girl bathing in the river. I stile her robe and she was forced to return to the castle naked and in tears. I closed my eyes, but I could still see her tits bouncing. When I was 10, I stuffed my uncle's boots with goat sh*t. When confronted with my crime, I blamed a squire. Poor boy was flogged, and I escaped justice. When I was 12 I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew. I flogged the one-eyed snake, I skinned my sausage. I made the bald men cry into the turtle stew, which I believe my sister ate. At least I hope she did. I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel....

:leaving:

What this loses in originality, it makes up for in being the best confession ever, that i can remember.

Mandy, I repress my bad deeds, so I'm trying to dredge through the depths of my memory - I'll be back!

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