Most contrived moment in the books?

[Mormont'sRaven]

For me, it was Rattleshirt actually being Mance Rayder in a SECRET MAGICAL DISGUISE™

Uggggggh. I almost wanted to stop reading after that one heh.

What do you guys think was the most contrived moment in the books (and I mean moment, not story arc i.e.Jon Snow and Ygritte's romance or what have you.)

[Maegor the Cuddly]

For me, it was UnGregor, foreshadowing or no, she had this whole thing coming, and we were given the buildup, now it appears as though she's more likely than not, going to get off of the whole issue intact. The only thing she's lost as a result of her stupidity was her pride... Which did more good than bad for her anyways.

[Unimportant]

The most contrived moment award for me is being held for a potential reveal of both Jon and Tyrion both being secret Targs. I'm fine with a plot twist of one of them being a Targ, but both just strikes me as unimaginative. For me if they're both Targs it undermines the story arc uniqueness for both of them.

But that may just be me...

[FuriousGeorge]

The moment where Arya forgets who her most important enemies are even though she had been repeating their names in a prayer for a long time before Jaquen asked her for three names. There are so many though, but I think it is to be expected when you are writing something that is so stupidly massive

[The Meeraculous Third Reed]

Probably the Great Ranging.

[Jabronius Maximus]

At the time I just finished the first book, when Dany got her dragons I remember thinking 'oh wow here's the long lost heir who's gonna majestically fly back and take the throne'.

It still might turn out like that (meh) but I'm glad in subsequent books it didn't turn out to be a such a sappy tale.

[Sullen]

Jon Snow's impeding rescue/revival for me.

[Faint]

Anything relating to Jon's secret parents, from how everyone ignores the sizable clues to the fact that Ned is made not to think about the obvious. I forgive the author for this because it would ruin the story otherwise but there is no way it doesn't come off looking artificial.

[BreastplateWithNipples]

Rattleshirt actually being Mance Rayder in a SECRET MAGICAL DISGUISE™

Yeah that was a low point in GRRM's writing. Although the Melisandre-Jon dialogue of that chapter (where it was revealed) was pretty cool. Her talking about the magic that is imbued in the wall and all that.

Personally I thought everything about Tyrion's journey in ADWD was horrible and and contrived. He's turned Tyrion into my least favorite character, with the constant drinking, the constant Cyvasse games, and the entire stupid way in which Tyrion "guesses" exactly who Griff and Young Griff are. The lowest point was him runnning into Jorah Mormont and his depressing encounter with that dwarf Penny. It's like GRRM totally ran out of ideas of what to do with Tyrion in Essos and just wrote a really stupid fantasy adventure story for him. Where he meets a whole bunch of characters we already saw, but amazingly manages to make not one single encounter interesting to read.

[StarkDragon]

For me, it was Rattleshirt actually being Mance Rayder in a SECRET MAGICAL DISGUISE™

Uggggggh. I almost wanted to stop reading after that one heh.

Ha! That's hilarious, cause I was laughing my butt of because I was completely not expecting that. Like, at all.

Even with the Red Wedding Jeyne pulled out a red flag, but Mance? I didn't see him necessary anymore, and I was pleasantly surprised.

I'm looking to what happens with Jon. Sorry, but if Jon just gets back up all easy peasy I might start calling him Aragorn.

Edit

Personally I thought everything about Tyrion's journey in ADWD was horrible and and contrived. He's turned Tyrion into my least favorite character, with the constant drinking, the constant Cyvasse games, and the entire stupid way in which Tyrion "guesses" exactly who Griff and Young Griff are. The lowest point was him runnning into Jorah Mormont and his depressing encounter with that dwarf Penny. It's like GRRM totally ran out of ideas of what to do with Tyrion in Essos and just wrote a really stupid fantasy adventure story for him. Where he meets a whole bunch of characters we already saw, but amazingly manages to make not one single encounter interesting to read.

Gah, Tyrion and Danny in ADWD :ack:

Sticking with Tyrion though, I probably would have liked it better if Penny was named Sam.

Otherwise, I just ended up hungry for turtle soup.

[Versiroth]

Anything relating to Jon's secret parents, from how everyone ignores the sizable clues to the fact that Ned is made not to think about the obvious. I forgive the author for this because it would ruin the story otherwise but there is no way it doesn't come off looking artificial.

So you believe that Ned never 1 + 1 = 2'ed? Because I think Ned knew exactly who Jon's real dad was. The fact is, Ned saw what Robert was willing to do with anyone with Targaryen blood, so he lied in order to save Lyanna's son's life.

[Mormont'sRaven]

Yeah that was a low point in GRRM's writing. Although the Melisandre-Jon dialogue of that chapter (where it was revealed) was pretty cool. Her talking about the magic that is imbued in the wall and all that.

Personally I thought everything about Tyrion's journey in ADWD was horrible and and contrived. He's turned Tyrion into my least favorite character, with the constant drinking, the constant Cyvasse games, and the entire stupid way in which Tyrion "guesses" exactly who Griff and Young Griff are. The lowest point was him runnning into Jorah Mormont and his depressing encounter with that dwarf Penny. It's like GRRM totally ran out of ideas of what to do with Tyrion in Essos and just wrote a really stupid fantasy adventure story for him. Where he meets a whole bunch of characters we already saw, but amazingly manages to make not one single encounter interesting to read.

I forgot about Penny. UGGGHH.

[Faint]

So you believe that Ned never 1 + 1 = 2'ed? Because I think Ned knew exactly who Jon's real dad was. The fact is, Ned saw what Robert was willing to do with anyone with Targaryen blood, so he lied in order to save Lyanna's son's life.

You misunderstand what I mean when it comes to Ned. When I say he doesn't think about the obvious, I mean that he doesn't think about the fact that Rhaegar and Lyanna are Jon's parents even though he constantly finds himself in circumstances where this should come to mind (i.e., Lynna's tomb, trying to decipher the parentage of Joffrey, etc.).

[Young Nan]

The epilogue of Dance, when Varys gives Kevan a huge monologue about his master plan before personally killing him with a crossbow.

Not only is it totally NOT Varys's style to do his own killing, or to be anything but vague about his motives, it was very James Bond Vllian-like to give a convenient monologue revealing his plan just before killing someone. I was halfway expecting Varys to tell Kevan that he was going to suspend him over a pit of alligators in a device that slowly lowers him down, then leave so Kevan could rescue himself.

[Turin Turambar]

Almost everything that has to do with Slavers' Bay.

[Harroway]

The whole destruction of Winterfell/death of Bran and Rickon thing in ACOK felt totally forced because it depends on so many unlikely events :

- Balon rejectsTheons offer and attacking the North instead of the easier wealthier West.

- Theon decides to take Winterfell with a very dodgy plan

- The plan works! Ser Rodrik proves stupid enough to leave Winterfell guarded by 10 cripples (it's not like the castle is massive and your house is in the middle of a war, right?)

- Bran and Rickon escape. So the best thing to do is to kill two feigned boys; stupid, pointless gesture that will only doom Robb and bite him in the back.

- Theon frees Ramsay in disuise and actually trusts him.

- Ser Rodrik is back with 2000 guys (note that if he had kept 1/20th of them in the castle, it would be strong enough to wistand pretty much any threat...), but Ramsay arrives and backstabs everyone because he's evil.

- At least Bran is free to seek the 3 eyed crow.

[Mark Antony]

The whole destruction of Winterfell/death of Bran and Rickon thing in ACOK felt totally forced because it depends on so many unlikely events :

- Balon rejectsTheons offer and attacking the North instead of the easier wealthier West.

- Theon decides to take Winterfell with a very dodgy plan

- The plan works! Ser Rodrik proves stupid enough to leave Winterfell guarded by 10 cripples (it's not like the castle is massive and your house is in the middle of a war, right?)

- Bran and Rickon escape. So the best thing to do is to kill two feigned boys; stupid, pointless gesture that will only doom Robb and bite him in the back.

- Theon frees Ramsay in disuise and actually trusts him.

- Ser Rodrik is back with 2000 guys (note that if he had kept 1/20th of them in the castle, it would be strong enough to wistand pretty much any threat...), but Ramsay arrives and backstabs everyone because he's evil.

- At least Bran is free to seek the 3 eyed crow.

Yeah good one, I was going to say Balon deciding to attack the North.

[Florina Laufeyson]

Someone i know found Arya's rushing toward the Red Wedding to be hella contrived. Im not certain i agree.

Tyrion not getting greyscale and JonCon getting it instead really feels contrived.

[The Sleeper]

I'll have to go with Rattleshirt being burned instead of Mance. That felt rather awkward, but since we love Mance I'm willing to overlook it.

[Ser Ennepe]

Almost everything that has to do with Slavers' Bay.

At least the Barristan Chapters are good, otherwise I would have lost all hope for this big old boring place.