Fertility

[Arbor Gold]

I am close friends with a couple that is trying to have a baby and I know for sure that the husband has stopped smoking pot so that his swimmers are stronger. So, there's that.

Good luck!

[Greywolf2375]

About 5 years? :/ But as you know, we've had actual fertility problems, we went through a lot of testing and only managed to get the DemonSpawn on our third IVF attempt. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping it really won't take as long for you, or it won't be as hard.

I don't know how it is in the States but doctors here say that if you've been trying for a year without success then it's time to look into things further and get some tests done, to start with.

Good luck to you and your husband, I hope you'll have some good news for us soon. :)

For us it was about 8 years and then one IUI and 2 IVF cycles later we had the Cutest Baby Ever (parental bias may be present).

I agree with the timeline for actual testing, etc but also don't wait to ask questions. There isn't a timetable for those - the more you know the better off you will be. As an example, we found out my wife had stage 4 endometriosis when we went to the fertility specialist - her PCPs and OB/GYNs had not done anything to investigate this possibility even though she'd had a cyst on an ovary burst and always reported excruciating periods. Got that cleared up, 5 months later we're confirmed pregnant.

As far as the old fashioned way, give it a go, enjoy, have fun, do not worry if you aren't pregant in three months. or 6 months or 9 months. Just keep plugging away.

G'luck!!

[Cuellar]

Seventh Pup, I wouldn't stress about it too much. There is a very very wide range of possible outcomes, from getting pregnant IMMEDIATELY, to requiring IVF. 30 is not that late, and most of the challenging pregnancies I've seen are from folks in their late 30s. Most couples I know have their first around 30-35, and less than half required some "help".

My wife was 29 on our first, and got pregnant 2 months after going off the pill (which was very unexpected), so you never know how quick or slow it will be. I think the key like everyone above said, is not to make it an overly stressful experience since that negatively impacts the probability. The positive news is that it seems like having a 2nd kid is much easier than the first...

Regarding waiting, I think you should go in and talk to your doctor whenever you start getting really stressed about it... whether it is 6 months or 18 months.

[TerraPrime]

Hmm.. did someone mention that maybe you two should go get checked up on fertility issue anyway? I'd hope that it will be covered by your insurance with minimum cost. I also recommend talking to a doctor about risk factors for various genetic diseases, like cystic fibrosis. With genetic screening for major alleles in common genetic diseases available, I don't see a good reason to not know this if you're planning for a pregnancy.

[Whitestripe]

Hmm.. did someone mention that maybe you two should go get checked up on fertility issue anyway?

If you are already scheduled for a GYN appt, it's probably a good idea to mention that you're going to start trying. Your doctor may order an ultrasound just to make sure that all systems are "go." Especially if you have painful periods, which may be an indication of ovarian cysts or other red flags. Our basic fertility work up was paid for by my insurance, but I wouldn't recommend pushing for it unless you know there is a problem. For the woman, it's kind of a PITA since you have to go get lab work done at a very specific times during your cycle. (Day three for estradiol and FSH, during your period for LH, and during the luteal phase, which is after ovulation and before your period, for progesterone) It's not always convenient to be running to the lab all month long. For the man, blood work can be done whenever, but I don't think any of them are going to want to do a sperm analysis unless they have to. (Depositing into a cup in the lavatory or making a deposit in the privacy of your own home and then rushing it to the lab while it's still "fresh" can be pretty embarrassing, not to mention inconvenient.

[Darth Visenya]

I'm not really that sure, but just wanted to say good luck :).

Also if you've never been on any form of birth control does it mean you're more likely to get pregnant more easily/faster than if you were?.

[Battlekitten]

First of all 30 is not old

I started at 32 and will pop no 2 out in July

I would start with seeing a doctor and getting a check up if you can

They normally say a couple of cycles post the pill is fine. I would get an ultrasound check for fibroids but at 30 you probably don't have any

Start taking vitamins and folic acid now. You want a good level in your system. Give up smoking / reduce drinking if needed

If you eat/ drink huge amounts of cinnamon or liquorice flavored foods reduce them. They are among many natural abortificants but I suspect only in huge amounts

The normal advice is not to worry until you have been trying for a year

I would say if neither of you have any problems go for six months and see what happens. If nothing think about your lifestyles - does either one of you travel a lot? Are your cycles regular? You don't want to worry if you are not in the same place at the tight time

After six months I would start monitoring your cycle - there's excellent apps for this eg women's calendar. If you are like me and have irregular cycles I would also try and find out when you ovulate

The daily Tests are not perfect. They may pick up your hormone surge late in the process and by the time it's the evening the egg could be too old. ;)

They will tell you that you are doing it around the right time

Alternatively get the clear blue fertility monitor - its expensive and fiddly but gives you forewarning

My doctor's view was that making love every 2-3 days is best. This way you are always prepared and without the pressure of making love on a signal which is not the most romantic way

But if you do spend time apart monitor

Each time have a 20-25% chance it will work. Even if it does there is a 20-30% chance it won't have worked just right so you may need time

Try not to worry

However, based on my friends experience do mention to the doctors if there is any history of thyroid problems, celiac disease etc in your family

Also if you never got checked for chlamydia do. It gives no symptoms and is easily treated but it can cause infertility if left alone. The nasty thing is going through a real resurgence now as people choose chemical over barrier contraception

Finally, old wives tale: Spend time around pregnant women and young babies. I really believe there is something to the 'baby dust' concept. At our Playgroup 5 mothers got pregnant over 8 months

Good luck and enjoy the process and the time you have before the baby arrives. Things will be different after. Great but different

[deleted01]

I have nothing useful to add, just wanted to wish you (and any other board members in a similar position) the very best of luck! :)

[Minaku]

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/ is a huge help for those who are charting.

[Whitestripe]

I've still got my FF chart print outs somewhere.

[mcbigski]

Damn. My impression was that you were a lot younger than me. But then I turned 40 this year, so I guess we're all getting old.

Seventh Pup, I'm in pretty similar boat. Do you have any reason to believe that you will have an issue?

I thought the problem was a lack of issue! Though I have no productive advice on this one.

[Left Wondering Whether]

I thought the problem was a lack of issue! Though I have no productive advice on this one.

:lol:

[Seventh Pup]

]The book that helped us was Taking Charge of your Fertility by Toni Weschler.

Thank you I have ordered the book on Amazon. I know nothing seems as intimidating if you have a book on the subject at home. :)

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/ is a huge help for those who are charting.

Also thank you for this. I think I not opposed to charting if it takes us a while to get pregnant.

Also for TP. I've actually already been screened for genetic disorders. I once almost became an egg donor in my youth. Before I got cold feet. But they screened me for those. I will talk with my husband about getting himself checked. But I don't believe he has anything in his families history that would make us think he should have anything they could test for.

I will be talking about this with my doctor at my next annual exam. :)

[Baelor Swyft]

At the risk of sounding OT, I just want to say, adoption is always an option. Lots of kids out there need someone to love them and a family to take care of them. Just saying, if all else fails, there's still adoption. Don't believe any of the horror stories about it, adopted families have statistically higher rates of bonding than natural families.

[Gillio]

SP - best of luck with this.

I went off the pill when I was 29. for reasons I no longer remember, we had assumed it would take several months to fall pregnant. It happened in less that 5 months! Hubby was somewhat shocked!

My first child was born in the march before my 30th birthday, and my second in the april before my 33rd.

[Seventh Pup]

Small update. Because I had a massive sinus infection I ended up going the doctor earlier then anticipated. She was great a took the time not only to address my sinus issues, but also talking with me about how we have just started trying. She ordered a rubella tighter, to make sure the I have those antibodies, and didn't seem to think I needed extra genetic testing. Also answered some of my extra questions. In general just feel a lot better about the whole thing. Thank you for all the advise in this thread. :)

[Seventh Pup]

So just wanted to take a moment to vent. I had my first false start this week. My period runs like clockwork, but I was 5 days late. I admit I really got excited. Last night I started my period :bang: . Its stupid that I let myself get that emotionally invested after only a few days, and logically I knew it probably just be a late start, but it hurt. While trying is a lot of fun, I admit I am getting impatient, sometimes you just need to vent.

[TerraPrime]

Vent away. :)

[Tears of Lys]

Our daughter had a happy, healthy baby boy at 41, so there's still plenty of time! Good luck. :grouphug:

[Baitac]

Your period almost becomes a "character" in your life when you decide to have a baby. It is an evil character. You live and die by its appearance or lack thereof. I've been there. It's a love hate relationship your whole life. At 12 you want it to come and wonder if it ever will. When you want to get pregnant you don't want it to come. When you are menopausal, you want it to go away permanently. Such is the life of menses.

Do not feel like you are stupid. You are not. This is a very intense time of your life. You pay attention to your body and what it's doing or not doing. I would have been disappointed too. :( There is nothing wrong with getting your hopes up when your period is late and you are trying to get pregnant. You would have to be a robot not to. That being said, dust yourself off and keep on keeping on. Beware of the "twins" magical spell that runs on in this forum. Vent away, but stay positive. :)