Larry. Posted June 18, 2006 Share Posted June 18, 2006 epic fantasy version of Flowers for Algernon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zap Rowsdower Posted June 18, 2006 Share Posted June 18, 2006 I've read more seductive restaurant reviews. Please tell me you left out a word or three between "into" and "eyes." I think he give it a look. Argh, yeah, that is my doing, not Goodkind's, sorry. My ineptness is of the normal mundane variety while Goodkind's idiocy verges on the divine. Does anyone else here think that Goodkind has become the literary equivalent of Ed Wood? I know his books are awful, but nevertheless, they have provided me with endless hours of entertainment. The entertainment is more in the vein of sidesplitting hilarity than the thrills, chills, and romance that Goodkind intened, but I still must give him an A for effort. Speaking of Ed Wood, does anyone else always picture Goodkind’s world and the people and monsters that inhabit it as being represented by crude special effects and z-grade actors? Whenever I picture a gar, my mind’s eye conjures up an image of some guy in a Power Ranger-monster suit with an obvious zipper running along the front. Once Goodkind’s awful prose and nonsense plots shattered my suspension of disbelief I couldn’t help but pictured Richard himself as either being played by Steven Seagal (the current fat and bloated Seagal, not his younger incarnation) or Tor Johnson. During the fight scenes, I picture one of these guys clumsily waving a tinfoil sword above their head and accidentally knocking over cardboard trees and walls. Hmmm. This gives me an idea- what if we were to do a casting call for the Sword of Truth series? Richard- Steven Seagal or Tor Johnson. Kahlan- Rosanne Barr or maybe Divine Zedd- Bela Lugosi Adie- Rafaela Ottiano Gratch- either the Power Ranger monster or maybe get an ordinary dog wearing papier-mâché wings with the voice of Andy Serkis. Verna- Zsa Zsa Gabor Darken Rahl- Ernest Borgnine Emperor Jagang- Warwick Davis The Keeper- William Shatner Various Mord-Sith: Julie Strain, Britney Spears, or basically any other Bimbo De Jour. And it would be co-directed/scripted by Uwe Boll, David DeCoteau, Coleman Francis, Ed Wood, Andy Sidaris, and Terry Goodkind himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mme Erzulie Posted June 18, 2006 Share Posted June 18, 2006 When das WELTMEISTERSCHAFT is over, I'll try to get some more Goodkind-mauling done. I feel the thing rising in me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry. Posted June 18, 2006 Share Posted June 18, 2006 I pity any 8 year-old girls in your way when the thing is arisen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted June 18, 2006 Share Posted June 18, 2006 and Rahl forbid they be whining in the subway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry. Posted June 18, 2006 Share Posted June 18, 2006 And remember, reality isn't intrisinc, nor is it subjective, but that it is Objective. So Objectivistially speaking, the reality of the situation is that one's subway life is one's own, rise up that foot and live out your football/soccer fantasies! Bonus points if the target is French Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted June 18, 2006 Share Posted June 18, 2006 Bonus points if the target is French Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry. Posted June 18, 2006 Share Posted June 18, 2006 This should amuse you. I wonder if Tairy has a bit of French in him as well? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted June 18, 2006 Share Posted June 18, 2006 poor french. surrendering right and left... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zadok Posted June 18, 2006 Share Posted June 18, 2006 At the mention of lamb she let out a throaty murmur of pleasure. Richard threaded the gold-rimmed white plate across the tray. personally, I find pastrami to be the most erotic of all the salted, cured meats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry. Posted June 18, 2006 Share Posted June 18, 2006 poor french. surrendering right and left... Indeed, I need me a FRENCH woman, it seems. But I might be too manly for her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted June 18, 2006 Share Posted June 18, 2006 100% pur choked chiken. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry. Posted June 18, 2006 Share Posted June 18, 2006 Only the finest for a woman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Errant Bard Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Indeed, I need me a FRENCH woman, it seems. But I might be too manly for her The problem is, of course, that french women don't play war or football so they don't feel the need to surrender to foreign hooligans Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Werthead Posted June 19, 2006 Author Share Posted June 19, 2006 One of my exes was French. I can heartily recommend having a French girlfriend to all Hmm. This thread seems to be undergoing one of its occasional convulsions of randomness (a bit like a SoT novel). Plus we seem to be nearing that magic number again when a new thread gets open. Unbelievable! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BranTheBuilder Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Damn, I go away for a weekend and Miss Mystar... grrr... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zadok Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 I wish we had a real Goodkind fan willing to discuss what they enjoy about the books. Mystar has proven he's not interested in doing this. Surely the entire books can't be as bad as the few quotes we've seen in this thread. Aside from the pretty reprehensible/ridiculous ideas, the writing is just AWFUL. "Her breaths were the mate of his" WTF? :sick: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slick Mongoose Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 I'm too scared to start reading Goodkind. Not because it'll be bad - I can cope with that, and laugh at it. But what if I enjoy it? What would that say about me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Errant Bard Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Maybe it's what you call inspired writing? Though I know that as a non english native speaker, I barely understood the sample chapter of Phantom posted on his site. It was the first time in a long while that after rereading a sentence I was still left wondering what it really meant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brys Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 I don't think it's got anything to do with you being a non english native speaker - Goodkind's sample chapter for phantom was incomprehensible in the english that everyone else speaks. Perhaps its a special language learnt by objectivists. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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