WrathOfTinyKittens Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 Uhh Mandy not to rain on your parade but from where I'm standing this seems like a landmine. One date (admittedly a great one apparently) and he wants y'all to buy a house together? This guy needs to pull on the reins a bit, but that will be especially difficult since y'all live in the same complex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Rodrigo Belmonte Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 That is why i will go for arranged marriage after finishing my studies and getting high paying job :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceChampion Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 I'm having difficulty believing any guy would joke about buying a house with someone he just met, unless he wasn't joking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monday Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 I'm having difficulty believing any guy would joke about buying a house with someone he just met, unless he wasn't joking.I could see myself joking about something like that, but yeah, maybe that would play more as a joke if he wasn't dumping his fwb and kids weren't being introduced after one date. Red Alert Mandy, this one could very well be a bunny boiler. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isis Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 Thanks for terrifying me with your awful mask photos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Walder Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 I could see myself joking about something like that, but yeah, maybe that would play more as a joke if he wasn't dumping his fwb and kids weren't being introduced after one date.+1Red Alert Mandy, this one could very well be a bunny boiler.Any of them could be, but I don't think it seems likely here - He just sounds really impulsive and clingy, and maybe a little controlling. Honestly the only red flag that would actually stop me in this situation is the lack of an escape route if he turns out to be a clinger, short of moving, since he lives in her building. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rubies & Jade Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 good luck Mandy! Sounds like a promising start at least~And I'm not worried about stalkers. Or clingers. I can be pretty bitchy when I'm angry. I know, none of you can believe THAT. :laugh: Nothing wrong with a woman who can say what's what! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Valley Posted August 17, 2013 Author Share Posted August 17, 2013 Mandy, I've got my fingers crossed for you. I've had several friends who were looking to get remarried who had great success with internet dating. The speed at which their relationships progressed was terrifying to me, but perfect for them. They didn't want to waste any time finding out whether or not they stood a chance for a good relationship. Your rapid advancement is making me dizzy, but it sounds right for you. Wishing you the best of luck. This man at least sounds really open and honest about what he wants. It also sounds like you have the same goals for a relationship. May he be a prince. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deleted01 Posted August 17, 2013 Share Posted August 17, 2013 Agree with all the lovely Lily Valley said - Mandy, I hope this works out for you and that you're very happy :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WrathOfTinyKittens Posted August 18, 2013 Share Posted August 18, 2013 Yeah super creepy pics Mandy... I thought you were joking about the clown mask thing until I saw those... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isis Posted August 18, 2013 Share Posted August 18, 2013 I had nightmares. Thank goodness for the hide button. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Every Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 And that goes for both guy 1 and guy 2. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
naz Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 THIS SHIT IS SO RIDICULOUSLY COMPLICATED.If anyone has ever given you the impression that it's easy, then they're lying liars who lie. Point is: you're not anywhere near alone in this, nor are things as bleak as they may seem. Good luck! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maithanet Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 Any tips or ideas for how I might want to say this? Any ideas for trigger words to avoid? Does this even sound reasonable??It sounds reasonable enough. It is certainly both honest and fair, considering you have known each other so briefly. How he takes it is really going to depend on the person. Some people are A-OK with that kind of arrangement, because they don't mind dating themselves, or want to take it slow. Others are ok with it, but either 1) want your assurances that you aren't having sex without anyone else or 2) will not have sex with you in the current arrangement. Maybe this is unusual, but I've encountered it because some people are very concerned about STDs.But nothing about Guy #1 that you described sounds like the kind of guy that would be ok with this. He seems to be a "dive headfirst into a relationship" kind of person, which can be both captivating and dangerous. Always wanting you to sleep at his place? Much too soon for that, and frankly even asking seems possessive. If you are at this point much more into Guy #2, then you might want to ask yourself whether Clingy McFastmover is really worth it. If you think that dating both guys is what you want to do in the short term, then go for it, but I would be prepared to just cut things off with Clingy if he reacts to this arrangement with either some sort of refusal or (more likely) cautious acceptance followed by insecurity/jealousy/resentment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isis Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 Kind of agree with Maithanet. Dating should be fine and nothing to hide. Especially with someone you've only known for a short time. However, all signs point to: clingy super keen guy may not be ok with that.But fuck it, that's not actually your problem. In fact it's in his interests (guy no 1) to not be a massive controller and give you a little space. Possibly how he handles this news will define your future interaction with him. But if he asks you point blank if you are already seeing someone else... and you don't want to lie. :/ Um, I guess you might be saying goodbye to guy no 1, right?Also, how lucky are you to keep finding these datable guys so fast? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord O' Bones Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 I wonder about that sometimes.I mean, I'm a crass and stupid asshole (but sort of charming) so there is never an issue past a day or two about 'discovering the real me' sort of nonsense. Then again, I'm 38 and never married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Valley Posted August 20, 2013 Author Share Posted August 20, 2013 Mandy, I've never disclosed to an OkCupid first date whether or not I was seeing anyone else. I'd also never ask. I assumed my date was having other dates. You don't need to tell 2 anout 1. "Clingy McFastmover" (lol Maithanet) does need to be warned. No lying, but total disclosure on a first date not necessary or expected. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry of the Lawn Posted August 20, 2013 Share Posted August 20, 2013 Mandy, I've never disclosed to an OkCupid first date whether or not I was seeing anyone else. I'd also never ask. I assumed my date was having other dates. You don't need to tell 2 anout 1. "Clingy McFastmover" (lol Maithanet) does need to be warned. No lying, but total disclosure on a first date not necessary or expected.this. if someone asks, give an honest answer if you feel like it, or don't, but either way it's completely okay and probably even a good idea to tell them it's not really any of their business, that you're just getting to know each other. personally, as far as i'm concerned, if they seem uncomfortable with that or are turned off by it you know you've got something to keep an eye on... i'm not into dating multiple people at the same time because i have problems focusing and it's just too complicated for me, but if someone asked me on a first date if i was dating other people i'd probably be a little turned off, regardless of whether or not i had any other dates lined up. just me but that kind of prying/concern so early on might freak me out a little, though it may be perfectly normal and healthy for others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DreamSongs Posted August 20, 2013 Share Posted August 20, 2013 If you are on a website, people are 1) Dating 2) Looking for hookups. I do not presume to be the sole communicant of anyone I am talking to.Mandy, you met #1 a week ago. Sounds like maybe the two of you might have been better off as friends since you have so much in common. Its always nice to have a support system. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DreamSongs Posted August 20, 2013 Share Posted August 20, 2013 He said he understands and is okay with it. Even said if I were to ever date someone who wasnt okay with it to run the other way. Pretty damn good answer.And technically, we've had at least 4 dates but yes, it's only been a week. #1 sounds like awesome friend potential. Every single lady needs male friends to bounce things off of :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.