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Funniest theory you ever heard?

Jojen's Paste

By Jojen's Paste,
in General (ASoIaF)

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chicky Sellsword

chicky

Posted
Posted

I found the speculation (doesn't deserve to be called theory) that Ned was send to Danerys by Varys very funny. Imagine what it would be like once he arrived:

-"My wife and children are fighting, being captured and likely dying, yet here I stand, my Queen"

-"..."

-"..."

-"USURPERS DOG!11"

"Ned didn't even undestand what he was doing there or what madness had seized the Eunuch"

I had never heard this one, and all I can say is that I agree with you, and WHAT is the point of this theory??? So basically, instead of getting beheaded at KL onscreen, Ned gets beheaded by Dany offscreen. This is better how?

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JesusFTW Sellsword

JesusFTW

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I had never heard this one, and all I can say is that I agree with you, and WHAT is the point of this theory??? So basically, instead of getting beheaded at KL onscreen, Ned gets beheaded by Dany offscreen. This is better how?

Barristan would probably speak up for Ned, I don't think he'd be beheaded.

Edit: Just realised that Dany would probably still be with the Dothraki or in the red waste. How would Varys even find her?

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Cold Hands Luke Squire

Cold Hands Luke

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This about Victarion

He wont ride a Dragon per se, he will hold each remaining Dragon by the throat and use them as flamethrowers, he will then go and defeat the others and kill Danny after she beds Euron.

Then some astrologer will be talking about the constellations in "the sea" and Victarion will say that he will sail and plunder those constellations "You fool the sea is a place in the sky not a water body" and then he will rip the spine of the astrologer sub-zero style.

After being mocked then, he will summon a kraken outfit it with space armor and sail "the sea" like this image shows.

http://www.cartoonsc...erhawks_L41.jpg

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JesusFTW Sellsword

JesusFTW

Posted
Posted

This about Victarion

He wont ride a Dragon per se, he will hold each remaining Dragon by the throat and use them as flamethrowers, he will then go and defeat the others and kill Danny after she beds Euron.

Then some astrologer will be talking about the constellations in "the sea" and Victarion will say that he will sail and plunder those constellations "You fool the sea is a place in the sky not a water body" and then he will rip the spine of the astrologer sub-zero style.

After being mocked then, he will summon a kraken outfit it with space armor and sail "the sea" like this image shows.

http://www.cartoonsc...erhawks_L41.jpg

:lol: At least it fits with his character. :lol:

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Abel Freerider

Abel

Posted
Posted

as Cersei got 3 children not from Robert but from her brother

Tywins wife got 3 children not from Tywin but Aerys

and thus the Targs actually hold the IT, confirmed because history repeats itself

benjen stark is jons dad - the mother is not important in that one

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chicky Sellsword

chicky

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I know right?! :lol: The same user also had a couple more hilarious "theories". His user name is Rod123 and they are on the first page on this thread: http://asoiaf.wester...-beyond-belief/

OMG...the OP of that thread had me laughing as well...just the idea of riding krakens onto land and then...what? They suffocate? They dry out and shrivel up and die?

Also, this, which the OP requested for lulz: "On a side note, dear artistic ASOIAF fans: can someone please paint Victarion (fully bearded, a clean-shaven Vic is the rankest heresy) riding atop a giant kraken with a flame-throwing dragon in each fist and Dany wrapped around one leg? (The Valyrian steel battle axe can be strapped to his back.)"

Challenge accepted.

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Rooseman Council Member

Rooseman

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For me, that Jon Snow is actually Lyanna and King Roberts child. Someone seriously posted that and seemed to believe it, mostly based off of looks.

Well, even if you assume that R + L = J is true, it's still open what the "R" stands for. People automatically assume it's Rhaegar, and I admit that the theory is intriguing, but it really could be anyone whose first name starts with an "R," so Robert Baratheon isn't impossible (although unlikely).

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JesusFTW Sellsword

JesusFTW

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Well, even if you assume that R + L = J is true, it's still open what the "R" stands for. People automatically assume it's Rhaegar, and I admit that the theory is intriguing, but it really could be anyone whose first name starts with an "R," so Robert Baratheon isn't impossible (although unlikely).

:worried:

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chicky Sellsword

chicky

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If you paint that, you have to contact me, gotta see it and probly have to make it my profile pic. :lol:

Oh, I am totally working it out in my head right now, and you (and Victarion is Awesome...I think that was the name) will be the first to know!

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Black Wolf Smith Council Member

Black Wolf Smith

Posted
Posted

there were 3 really good ones that had the most "likes" when we had them, besides Jaime L's Hound/Mountain Brothers? thread, Jaime had another really good one don't remember the name.

I think Nedbert and Gregcei threads that so many people that got pissed about it, and didn't understand the real point was about, might be the funniest thing ever.

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