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Werthead

GOODKIND IV

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Scheisse. Die deutsche Krabben kann so verdammten langweilig sein. Und ungehoerig verliebt mit Heidegger. Tja. Brauche ich ein Urlaub.

:lol: This is great. It just makes enough sense to be very funny :lol:

And congrats to the use of "ungehörig". Chapeau! Btw. - wich words were too hard in my reply?

Ha. Well, without translating...there were just a couple of kinda-personal bits in there. I try to avoid those (I have a slippery slope flame potential, once I get going, dear Gods.) As for the German -- I learned it entirely in situ while working on my thesis, and never took much stock in being grammatically correct. My friends also found me deeply entertaining. Then again, I never tried to pass myself off as a crustacean while in Germany, so point for me in the absurdity column. :P

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Wow, diabloblanco18 you are good! Far more coherant and persuasive than Mystar and his ilk. :lol:

Perhaps I'll accompany all the future "Quote of the Day"s with a pseudo-logical argument for why Terry is an absolute genius for writing them. :devil:

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Re the Chicken as signs of evil.

It must be a weird coincidence, but lately I started a reading a Norwegian YA fantasy novel in which the evil appears with Chickens. (They are chickens with weapons, and the heros of the story are washbears raccoons and a panda.)

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Just checking...this = raccoon, right?

<--- just a Yank

:lol: Yes, sorry, I did a literally, German-to-English translation, I was not even sure that they are called "washbears" in English. :/ In Norwegian it's "vaskebjørn". ;)

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:lol: Yes, sorry, I did a literally, German-to-English translation, I was not even sure that they are called "washbears" in English. :/ In Norwegian it's "vaskebjørn". ;)

:lol: Yeah, I did the same. I was all "damn, what's waschbaeren in english?"

my favorite, though, is Faultier. well, that and Stinktier. ;)

(for those who don't speak german, those are translated as: Lazy-animal and Stink-animal.)

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The chicken quote was put on the Chronicles forum and the reaction was utter, stupefied disbelief. Quite amusing.

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Just wanted to point out that if we fed Terry to a pack of wild dogs, his writing might improve. Couldn't possibly hurt it at least...

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Diablo, by the powers vested in me by my own delusions of grandeur, I now proclaim you the master of time and space. You HAVE to post on GioG. Please? Be the one pseudo fan who could fool almost anyone into believing he's a real fan. Your posts were brilliant! Had me going!

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Hmm. Looks like I'm going to have to post more often if I'm going to change my title to "Stalwart Goodkind Apologist."

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Fuck. this is as good a place as any. I have the dubious honor of being the #1 Poster today with 40 friggin' posts under my belt (stupid world cup; stupid tairy).

C'mon Wert. step up your game and save me from nerdular infamy. :blush:

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Taking recommendations for the Quote of the Day. Anyone?

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I personally destested the stupid traps in the stupid wizards keep. You could quote Richard's non-fantasy stroll trough the non-fantasy keep with all those non-fantasy traps, where he apparently used cheat codes his superior abilities to circumvent all traps.

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Naked Empire is truly a gold mine, and so it wins out for the Terry Goodkind Quote of the Day.

Richard and Kahlan are in the Bandakaran Empire, which is full of pacifists, to get their help in fighting the Order. They are brought to the "Wise One" to plead their case.

There, sitting cross-legged on the pillow, was what appeared to be a boy in white robes, his hands resting prayerfully in his lap. He didn't look very old, maybe eight or ten at most. A black scarf was tied around his head to cover his eyes.

"He's just a boy," Richard said. <can't put anything past the Seeker>

At the interruption, one of the speakers shot Richard a murderous glare. "Only a child is innocent enough of the contamination of life to be free to touch true wisdom. As we grow older we layer our experiences over our once perfect insight, but we remember those once unadulterated connections and so we realize how only in a child can wisdom itself be so pure."

Heads throughout the room bobbed knowingly.

Richard cast a sidelong glance at Kahlan.

One of the speakers knelt before the platform and bowed his bald head. "Wise One, we must ask your knowing guidance. Some of our men wish to begin a war."

"War solves nothing," the Wise One said in a pious voice.

"Perhaps you would like to hear his reasons."

"There are no valid reasons for fighting. War is never a solution. War is an admission of failure."

The people in the room shrank back, looking ill at ease to have brought such crude inquiries before the Wise One, inquiries he had no trouble untangling with simple wisdom that laid bare obvious immorality.

"Very wise. You have shown us wisdom in its true, simple perfection. All men would do well to heed such truth." The man bowed his head again. "We have tried to tell--"

"Why are you wearing a blindfold?" Richard asked, cutting off the speaker kneeling before the platform.

"I hear anger in your voice," the Wise One said. "Nothing can be accomplished until you shed your hate. If you search with your heart, you can find the good in everyone."

<Richard goes on to argue with the boy for a while> "You already have on a blindfold. Why don't you plug your ears and hum a tune to yourself so you won't be thinking about anything"--Richard leaned in and lowered his voice dangerously--"and in your state of infinite wisdom, Wise One, just try to guess what I'm about to do to you."

The boy squealed in fright and scooted back.

<Kick him Richard!!! Kick his fucking face in!!!!>

Kahlan pushed her way between Richard and Anson and sat back on the platform. She put an arm around the terrified boy and pulled him close to comfort him. He pressed himself into her sheltering protection. <Read Boobs>

"Richard, you're scaring the poor boy. Look at him. He's shaking like a leaf."

<Richard has that effect on children and hippies both>

<Blah blah blah, value of life, yada yada yada>

"Man is thoe only creature who willingly submits to the fangs of a predator. Only man, through continual indoctrination such as you've been given, will reject the values that sustain life. Yet, you instinctively did the right thing in going to my wife."

"I did?"

"Yes. Your ways couldn't protect you, so you acted on the chance that she might. If I really were someone intent on harming you, she would have fought to stop me."

He looked up into Kahlan's smile. "You would?"

"Yes, I would. I, too, believe in the nobility of life." <Jesus fucking Christ>

<and it goes on like that for quite a while.>

~Terry Goodkind, Naked Empire

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his hands resting prayerfully in his lap.

:sick:

is this kid the leader of the peace protesters that Richard eventually slaughters? why does he cut down people later for "being in the way" when he probably could've got this little shit to tell his people to go to war?

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:sick:

is this kid the leader of the peace protesters that Richard eventually slaughters? why does he cut down people later for "being in the way" when he probably could've got this little shit to tell his people to go to war?

Yup, those are his people that get cut down. I don't know why the kid couldn't (or wouldn't) order them all to fight, I don't know how much authority the little wretch actually has. I really wanted Richard to go all "Princess Violet" on him.

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Wow. Even by Goodkind's standards that makes no sense. Firstly, why exactly do Richard and Kahlan want these guys' help? Even if they could convince them to fight, they would have no training or experience. It doesn't seem worth the effort to argue at length with these guys, unless there's a whole lot of them, and Richard needs their numbers. Surely there's another contry he could get help from, one with an actual military.

Secondly, these guys are the Bandokaran Empire right? And, I assume, the titular naked empire? Don't empires usually have a lot of conquered territory? Kinda by definition?

Oh, forget it. I could go into how such a society could never sustain itself against violence from without or within, but I'm obviously putting way more thought into this than Goodkind ever did. His train of thought probably went something like "Hippies are stupid, so I'll make an empire of stupid hippies to show everyone how stupid they are, because I'm always right and everyone who disagrees with me is stupid. Hail Rand!"

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Baleraxar,

Don't you realize by now that once Richard has convinced a people that their lives are worth fighting for, that they instantly become an unbeatable force? Once you start to believe in the nobility of life (and goats, apparently) you become an unstoppable war machine.

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