Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Werthead

GOODKIND IV

647 posts in this topic

Maybe I can have that as a wotmania OF Quickpoll question in the future - which appeals to you more, Synthese black seed or Gar blood flies? :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Diablo: More rambling, more strawmen and more thinly veiled insults, and you're there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
or Gar blood flies?

Ooooooohhhhh...NOW it's coming back to me...I think I'll try to go scrub my brain clean. Thank you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The failure of so many here to apprehend the true success of Mr. Goodkind's work would be disheartening if their conduct did not make it clear that they are not capable of understanding even such simple concepts.

The arrogance inherent in this "Quote of the Day" phenomenon is a fine example of the problem. You all criticize Mr. Goodkind's prose, as though the ability to craft pretty, morally empty sentences would be an asset rather than a terrible vice. The sort of decadent literature you evidently prefer is not at all what this author wishes to produce. Your GRRM may well find it impressive that he can make evil people seem good with his literary parlor tricks; those of us who understand the seductiveness of evil know how hollow this is. The "moral" complaints you raise in reference to these quotes are likewise parlor tricks, sophistry, nonsense, and cowardice designed to hide the basic realities Mr. Goodkind clarifies. Terry Goodkind is a genius on a level you cannot hope to apprehend.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Your GRRM may well find it impressive that he can make evil people seem good with his literary parlor tricks; those of us who understand the seductiveness of evil know how hollow this is.

Tyrion: "Heads, spikes, walls, molested children."

Tywin: "I see you've taken your subjectivist lessons from me, my twisted-from-the-outside-in sexually deviated son."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Terry Goodkind is a genius on a level you cannot hope to apprehend.

"...He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament..."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not buying this at all.

Way too intelligent and coherent.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Praised be the Yeard! But now, we must rectify (huh, I said 'rectify') this situation and induct him into the Tairy Mystery Cult of the Yeard.

And then maybe reveal the power of the Synthese afterwards, sans black seed ;)

Bah. The black seed is a must!

I find it rather offensive that you would make even a superficial comparison between Goodkind's Sword of Truth novels and the degenerate fantasy garbage so aptly named The Prince of Nothing. To my infinite regret, I have read all three of these collections of scribbles, and I can say with little hesitation that I have never read anything more revolting in my entire life. While Wizard's First Rule and its sequels are showcases for the nobility of the human spirit, Bakker's ink-smeared rags are the polar opposite: a depression-inducing thesis on every form of human degeneracy imaginable. I would dare anyone to find a single redeeming quality in any of the major characters - one that isn't washed away later on by Bakker's puerile attempts at "character development" - but I'd rather not subject anyone to reading even a single word of that filth again. So I'll save you the trouble: there isn't one. Even discounting the total lack of sympathetic anything in these novels, they are still a nightmarishly painful read. Why Bakker decided to include a veritable treatise on psychology and philosophy every five pages is almost beyond me, but it seems that one of my favorite Heinlein (who writes particularly good woman characters, by the way) phrases would be appropriate here. The Prince of Nothing is a glorified bout of pseudo-intellectual masturbation, a no-doubt successful attempt by Bakker to pleasure his own ego.

Actually, I retract my first statement. I find it offensive that you people would even reference that horrid series at all, much less joke about it endearingly. Your love of such perversion speaks volumes about your mental health. Goodbye.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ha! That was almost perfect. The only flaw I can see is in the structure. A true Goodkind fan appears to lack any understanding of the paragraph and its application to writing. Still, the content is inspired stuff!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

First Diablo, now Brendan Moody. It's like they're forming a team. Wonderful.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Heads throughout the room bobbed knowingly.

Richard walked into a room of bobbleheads? Is this a commentary on people who hoard sports collectibles?

<Kick him Richard!!! Kick his fucking face in!!!!>

Honestly, I come into this thread not so much for the masochistic thrill of reading Goodkind's prose, but for your commentary. Cracks me up. :lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

diabloblanco18 we are not worthy of your skill - utterly brilliant! :thumbsup:

one of my favorite Heinlein (who writes particularly good woman characters, by the way)

:rofl:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In today's Terry Goodkind Quote of the Day, I believe we find the roots of the Naked Empire hippie slaughter. Richard and company are in Anderith to bring the people there into the D'haran Empire to help fight the Order. The head honchos say they can't make that decision for all their people and insist on a vote. While waiting for the vote to take place, these big shots go around explaining how Richard and Kahlan suck. We see how much Terry appreciates democracy. In this scene, Richard sees the result of letting people think for themselves.

Richard was stunned by the sight. The wide thoroughfare was packed with people, nearly all carrying candles, a glowing flood of faces washing up Fairfield's broad main avenue. They flowed around the trees and benches in the center, between the two sides of the road, making them look like treed islands. <its like I'm there>

<blah blah blah>

The gathering multitude started chanting.

"no more war. No more war. No more war." It was a dull drone, deep and insistent, like the quaking of the distant thunder.

Richard thought it a good sentiment, one he wholeheartedly embraced <uh huh, sure>, but he was disturbed by the anger in people's eyes, and the tone in their voices as they chanted it. It went on for a time, like thunder booming in from the plains, building, growing. <like a thing inside him>

A man near the platform held up his young girl on his shoulders for the people to see. "She has something to say! Let her speak! Please! Hear my child!"

The crowd called out encouragement. The girl, ten or twelve years old <I want her dead already>, climbed the steps at the side and, looking determined, marched across the platform to stand at the rail. The crowd quieted to hear her.

"Please, dear Creator, hear our prayers. Keep Lord Rahl from making war," she said in a voice powered by simplistic adolescent zeal. She looked to her father. He nodded and she went on. "We don't want his war. Please, dear Creator, make Lord Rahl give peace a chance." <all we are saying...> Richard felt as if an arrow of ice had pierced his heart. He wanted to explain to the child, explain a thousand things, <and kick her teeth in, smarmy little rat> but he knew she would not understand a one of them. Kahlan's hand on his back was cold comfort.

Another girl, maybe a year or two younger, climbed the steps to join the first. "Please, dear Creator, make Lord Rahl give peace a chance." <damn Lennonists>

A line was forming, parents bearing children of all ages to the steps. They all had similar messages. Most stepped forward and simply said, "Give peace a chance," some not seeming to even comprehend the words they spoke before they returned to proud parents. <I'll be the first to admit that children are stupid, but c'mon> It was plain to Richard that the children had been practicing the words all day. The words were not the language of children. That hardly softened the hurt, knowing they believed it. <how stupid are these kids that in order to recite four words, they have to practice ALL DAY? worried they might get up there and say "give chance a peace"?>

<blah blah blah>

"Lord Rahl, Mother Confessor," the man shouted out over the crowd, "if you could hear me now, I would ask, why would you bring your vile magic to our peaceloving people? Why would you try to drag us into your war, a war we don't want?

"Listen to the children, for theirs are the words of wisdom! <whats with everybody thinking kids are so fucking wise> "There is no reason to resort to conflict before dialogue. If you cared about the lives of innocent children, you would sit down with the Imperial Order and resolve your differences. The Order is willing, why are you not? Could it be you want this war so you might conquer what isn't yours? So you may enslave those who reject you?

"Listen to the wise words of all these children and please, in the name of all that is good, give peace a chance!" <so...what is it you're trying to say here? something about peace? I'm not quite getting it yet.>

<blah blah blah>

"Yet this man, this man who shouts for all to hear of his moral leadership, of his desire for what is right, already has another wife! Wherever he goes, he takes her, too, fat with his child! [at this point I'll mention that the other woman is Du Chaillu, she's not really Richards wife, its not really his child, its kinda complicated] Yet as this other wife still carries his unborn child, he marries the Mother Confessor, and drags her with him, too, as his concubine! <sweet> How many more women will this sinful man take to sire his wicked offspring? How many bastard children has he created here, in Anderith? How many of our women have fallen to his boundless lust?" <all of them, bitches!>

<blah blah blah>

"This is how tyrants win the will of the people: with lies." <Richard forgets that he built his empire with threats of horrible violence and brutal economic sanctions. But lies are wrong.> Having seen enough, Richard was about to turn to go when a bright orange whoosh of fire erupted out in the crowd. A candle, presumably, ignited a girl's dress. She let out a piercing scream. Her hair caught fire.

By the speed of the fire, Richard realized it was no accident. <a fire that isn't a fire>

The chimes were among them. <burn baby burn, hippie inferno!>

~Terry Goodkind, Soul of the Fire

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's a shame that Richard's fire hating brother was not there to give another speech and put an end to that madness. These chimes sure know how to pick their bodies, a chicken that can have its neck wrung, a fire that could be destroyed with a glass of water.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"The chimes were among them."

Oh, is it a fire breathing chicken this time? That would be sooo cool!

I think it might be possible to repost today's entire Qotd by simply copy-pasting parts of previous Qotd's.

But seriously, isn't Richard supposed to be the good guy and ever-so-noble hero of the story? I've never actually read Goodkind, but judging from the quotes, he puts on a better performance being really nasty than many an evil guy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not a chicken this time, sorry to say. It's the same thing that possessed the chicken, making it evil incarnate. Chimes just like to start fires and burn people. Or drown people in puddles, depending on which chime it is.

Richard is the good guy in the story, but, yeah, it can be a bit hard to rationalize some things he does with being the hero. Smashing a little girls face in, and slaughtering unarmed protesters for a start.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well if you don't massacre protesters, the terrorists win! They fucking win, MG!

P.S. Can the fire-that-is-not-a-fire ignite the chicken-that-is-not-a-chicken?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Well if you don't massacre protesters, the terrorists win! They fucking win, MG!

P.S. Can the fire-that-is-not-a-fire ignite the chicken-that-is-not-a-chicken?

The chicken and the fire are essentially the same thing, so, probably not, but since this is Terry....why should things make sense?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.