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Werthead

GOODKIND IV

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I love how Goodkind has so little faith in his own ability to communicate that he has to lay things out for the reader like this:

Richard wanted more than anything to hold his friend and tell him that he loved him, too. But he couldn't. He had to make him go in order to save his life.

If Richard really loved him, he had to do this.

I mean, this is the kind of thing you expect Levar Burton to explain to little kids on Reading Rainbow.

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I just have to mention my glowing admiration of Hard but Soft on the GioG-forum; I have read his piece of fan fiction at least once every day this entire week. I still laugh every time I read it, and for every Terry Goodkind Quote of the Day I read the funnier it gets.

In case anyone here missed it, here it is:

http://www.mfbb.net/demonspawn/demonspawn-...-1953.html#1953

I’m off to a party now; I sincerely hope I don’t start cracking chicken/goat/yeard-jokes to my mates when shitfaced, since I doubt any of them have even heard of Him. I look forward to curing my hangover with coffee and this thread.

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It's a Friday, we need a light hearted child murder or slaughter of unarmed people heading into the weekend.

Okay, if you insist, and to brighten the mood a bit:

At the far end of the room, men behind a curved desk rose angrily to their feet. As he advanced relentlessly onward, Richard drew the sword. The unique sound of steel rang in the huge room.

"I am Supreme Councilor Thurstan!" the one in the center, at the tallest chair, said. "I demand to know the meaning of this intrusion"!

Richard was still coming. "Be there one of you who did not vote to sentence the Mother Confessor to death?"

"She was sentenced to death for treason! Legally, and unanimously, sentenced by this council! Guards! Remove this man!"

Men came running across the vast floor, but Richard had already closed on the dais. The councilors drew knives. <okay, so they aren't unarmed, but they're still middle-aged politicians with probably very little training>

Richard leapt to the top of the desk with a scream of rage. The blade cleaved Thurstan in two, from ear to crotch. A swing to each side took off heads. Several of the men tried to stab him. They weren't close to fast enough. The sword found every robed figure, including the ones who tried to run. It was over in seconds, before the guards had made half the distance.

~Terry Goodkind, Stone of Tears

A friend of mine once complained that Goodkind had a 'rape scene' or some sexually graphic scene in every book.

Maybe next week each QotD will be one of TG's rape or near-rape scenes. That could probably take more than a week though.

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You can't say I didn't warn you all.

I can never watch Purple Rain the same way again! Thanks, Moose. I think. :lol:

All time classic quote of the day!

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Maybe next week each QotD will be one of TG's rape or near-rape scenes. That could probably take more than a week though.

Wow. That's a lot.

Richard leapt to the top of the desk with a scream of rage. The blade cleaved Thurstan in two, from ear to crotch. A swing to each side took off heads. Several of the men tried to stab him. They weren't close to fast enough. The sword found every robed figure, including the ones who tried to run. It was over in seconds, before the guards had made half the distance.

This really shows Richard's skill. All those sword strokes, and his arms didn't even get tired! And the fight was over in seconds! Old men don't put up much of a fight, after all.

And thanks for the link, Algiz.

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I love how Goodkind has so little faith in his own ability to communicate that he has to lay things out for the reader like this:

I mean, this is the kind of thing you expect Levar Burton to explain to little kids on Reading Rainbow.

Man...that's insulting to the little kids AND to Commander LaForge... :P

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:bow: Mad Moose, good parody. The worst thing is that, because of the context you've put it in, I don't hear the original song in my ear, but the cheesy choirboy version Baz Luhman included in his "Romeo and Juliet".

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This really shows Richard's skill. All those sword strokes, and his arms didn't even get tired! And the fight was over in seconds! Old men don't put up much of a fight, after all.

What old men could ever stand up to Richard and his "thing"? Later on Richard discovers that Kahlans public beheading was an illusion, but at no point does he express any guilt over killing the Councillors who, really, didn't do anything. Of course, as you might notice, Richard doesn't feel guilty about anything, ever.

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Okay, suffice it to say that my attention was brought to this thread from an unexpected direction.

I'm not closing it, nor am I censoring it. I'm just going to state plainly that our acceptable use policy is that things posted here do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the administrators (i.e., myself and Linda). Furthermore, the AUP makes it obvious that promoting or encouraging illict or inappropriate activities (like, say, vandalizing Wikipedia) are bannable offenses. I'll quote relevant passages:

Please remember that we are not responsible for any messages posted. We do not vouch for or warrant the accuracy, completeness or usefulness of any message, and are not responsible for the contents of any message.

The messages express the views of the author of the message, not necessarily the views of this bulletin board. Any user who feels that a posted message is objectionable is encouraged to contact us immediately by email. We have the ability to remove objectionable messages and we will make every effort to do so, within a reasonable time frame, if we determine that removal is necessary.

You agree, through your use of this service, that you will not use this bulletin board to post any material which is knowingly abusive, hateful, harassing, threatening, invasive of a person's privacy, or otherwise violative of any law.

I don't expect anyone on this board will actually have carried out such acts. If you did, shame on you.

P.S.

Goodkind's work is unadulterated trash, in my view. But whatever floats your boat, you know? I read some pretty trashy stuff myself from time to time. (Goodkind's not on that list, though).

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P.S.

Goodkind's work is unadulterated trash, in my view. But whatever floats your boat, you know? I read some pretty trashy stuff myself from time to time. (Goodkind's not on that list, though).

You've never read TG? Wow, this thread would be a lot more fun for you if you did.

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I've read enough of it years ago to see no need to continue. Outlawing fire isn't my cup of tea.

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But they have so much to offer beyond that. Child abuse, rape, s&m, chickens, goats, I hear there may be a jive-talking hippo in Phantom. Everything a book could possibly offer that you would like to shit on is right there, including real human emotion and the nobility of the human spirit. What could be better?

You agree, through your use of this service, that you will not use this bulletin board to post any material which is knowingly abusive, hateful,

this makes me a bit nervous though.

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Outlawing fire isn't my cup of tea.

Hey, Prometheus had it coming.

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Moose -- what is hate but a twisted, mutated, evil form of love?

or something.

anyway, let it be a lesson to y'all: play nice, or Ran will kick you in the jaw!!

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Erm, yes I think you are probably correct, but I watched it on MTV UK so they get the credit for it :D

Congratulations Elrostar on being the only person to ever mention my sig in a post :thumbsup: even if it was not to say it is funny and it is funny so there :P

Hmm, I will allow you to give MTV credit for it, I suppose :)

And yes, it is funny.

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anyway, let it be a lesson to y'all: play nice, or Ran will kick you in the jaw!!

So is Ran Richard? Or is he GRRM? Me am confusededed now... :P

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What? You don't recognize the lyrics from "When doves cry" by Prince? For shame.

Aw, you didn't use the best line from that song, "animals strike curious poses"...

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Several of the men tried to stab him

I would never have guessed that. Goodkind never fails to surprise. I wonder what the other men were doing?

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