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Werthead

GOODKIND IV

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I really only have one "Wizard's first rule"

ZED IS AN IDIOT!!!! (NOT TO MENTION AN ASSHOLE)

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That was when she had to marry Richard's brother in order to appease the spirits and gain Richard access to the temple of the winds. She thought she was with his brother, and, well, long story short, she screwed him, but took no pleasure in it, then decided she had to, so she blew him. And yes, it was her time of the month. I'll dig up the passage.

Yep, she's a slut. It only took her about 10 seconds to abandon Richard for his brother. If Richard left her alone for long enough, she'd probably screw anyone (Jagang, Gar, the evil chicken...).

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That was when she had to marry Richard's brother in order to appease the spirits and gain Richard access to the temple of the winds. She thought she was with his brother, and, well, long story short, she screwed him, but took no pleasure in it, then decided she had to, so she blew him. And yes, it was her time of the month. I'll dig up the passage.

Yep, she's a slut. It only took her about 10 seconds to abandon Richard for his brother. If Richard left her alone for long enough, she'd probably screw anyone (Jagang, Gar, the evil chicken...).

Or Zed

Ahahahahahahahah!!! No God

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Who is Zed and why is he an idiot and and asshole?

Don't leave us hanging, give us examples and arguments :)

Thinking about it, the description quite fits the big Z -zaphod beeblebrox-

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It’s a strange day. I’m going to (kinda) defend Goodkind on this one.

The Roman Gladiator games were bloodily and brutal. The Aztecs played a game where the losers were sacrificed to their gods. I’m sure there are other examples that I don’t know about. There are still places in America where cock fighting is legal. There is still a large underground dog fighting ring. So in that context Goodkind is sorta right, but still disgusting.

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There are still places in America where cock fighting is legal.

Well with Richard's "thing" rising he would be damned good at cock fighting right?

Or are we talking about a cock that's not a cock here?

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I can't wait to read about Kahlan slurping her own period blood of some guy's schlong. THE PLOT TWISTS!!!

Terry Goodkind must be the sickest fucker in the universe. He's actually starting to scare me.

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It’s a strange day. I’m going to (kinda) defend Goodkind on this one.

The Roman Gladiator games were bloodily and brutal. The Aztecs played a game where the losers were sacrificed to their gods. I’m sure there are other examples that I don’t know about. There are still places in America where cock fighting is legal. There is still a large underground dog fighting ring. So in that context Goodkind is sorta right, but still disgusting.

There's a difference between brutal games - gladiatoral games, bull fighting etc - and whipping. Clearly a lot of people are willing to see others risk their lives for entertainment. That's nothing new, I agree. But whipping each other? That's an entirely different entity. While people went to watch gladiatoral games, it was for the sport, the competition and the thrill. It probably wasn't because they wanted to see the agony of strangers. There's a difference between the sadism of Goodkind's whipping game and the brutality of the gladiatoral games. The first is just sadistic and fetishistic, while in the second there is a reasonable level of skill and competition involved. The only reason people would go to see the first would be because they want to witness the pain and suffering of others. Combat to the death is an ancient tradition through almost all cultures - seeing who can whip their opponent the most times is something rather different.

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With many a nod of thanks to Mme Erzulie and others for inspiring this......

Here is the Goodkind QOTD - the first chapter from his latest 'contribution' to the world of non-fantasy fiction...... :lol:

Kahlan stood quietly in the shadows, watching, as evil knocked softly on the door. Surely not the chicken? How could a chicken knock softly on the door? As much as she would like to spend the night in out of the rain, she didn’t want trouble to visit innocent people. She knew, though, that she had no say in the matter. They were already in trouble from being in a Goodkind book.

Random waffle for a paragraph or two……...

Kahlan couldn’t always judge exactly when Sister Ulicia would lash out and just because she so far hadn’t didn’t mean that she wouldn’t. Neither of the other two Sisters was in any better mood nor any less inclined toward losing their temper. Each sister’s mood was exactly as bad as the sister standing next to her, but the sister standing next to her was a little bit less angry than the sister before her, who was in turn slightly angrier than the sister to her left, who, as it turned out, was an evil chicken. Kahlan supposed that soon enough the three of them would be happy and quietly celebrating the reunion.

More random waffle…….

That terrible day she stole the boxes for the Sisters, she had promised herself that someday she would find the truth of who she was, and she would be free.

When Sister Ulicia knocked a third time, a muffled voice came from inside. Muffled as its owner desperately pondered how he could avoid a brief cameo in the new Goodkind book.

“I heard you!†It was a man’s voice. His bare feet thumped down wooden stairs. “I’ll be right there! A moment, please!â€

Ah crap, he thought to himself, now I’m gonna have a brief cameo in the new Goodkind book. I’m probably gonna get killed off as well. People will point to my cold, dead corpse as say, "Hey, wasn't that the guy who was in the new Goodkind book. Man, you see the way he got offed? I heard several short-tailed gars, a penis demon, multiple evil chickens, and Richard's thing were all involved."

He knew this night was going to suck, hard.

His annoyance at having been awakened in the middle of the night was layered over with forced deference to potential customers.

Sister Ulicia turned a sullen look on Kahlan. “You know that we have business here.†She lifted a cautionary finger before Kahlan’s face. “Don’t you even think of giving us any trouble, or you’ll get what you got the last time.â€

Kahlan swallowed at the reminder of the last time, when the sisters had made her swallow. Hard.. “Yes, Sister Ulicia.â€

“Tovi had better have gotten us a room,†Sister Cecilia complained. “I’m in no mood to be told the place is full up.â€

“There will be room,†Sister Armina said with soothing assurance, cutting off Sister Cecilia’s habit of always assuming the worst. Although you couldn’t blame her really, as she lived in Goodkind’s world (which wasn’t really a world, because he didn’t build worlds).

Sister Armina wasn’t older, like Sister Cecilia, but nearly as young and attractive as Sister Ulicia who was younger and more attractive than Sister AynRandia, but not quite as young and attractive as Sister Nicci, although certainly younger but not as attractive as Sister Lanfear. Who was an evil chicken. To Kahlan, though, their looks were insignificant in light of their inner nature. To Kahlan, they were vipers. And vipers were evil creatures, nowhere as noble as the goats who represented Kahlan’s inner nature.

“One way or another,†Sister Ulicia added under her breath as she glared at the door, “there will be room.â€

Lightning, who knew a dramatic cue when it heard it, arced through the greenish, roiling clouds, releasing an ear-splitting boom of thunder.

The door, suitably impressed by these events, opened a crack. The shadowed face of a man peered out at them as he worked to button up his trousers under his nightshirt. He moved his head a little to each side so that he could take in the strangers. Judging them to be less than dangerous, although more than threatening but moderately less than slightly intimidating, he pulled open the door and with a sweeping gesture ushered them inside.

“Come on in, then,†he said. “All of you.â€

“Who is it?†A woman called out as she descended the stairs to the rear. She carried another lantern in one hand and held the hem of her nightdress up with the other so that she wouldn’t trip on it as she hurried down the steps.

“Four women traveling in the middle of a rainy night,†the man told her, his gruff tone alluding to what he thought of such a practice. He could feel his thing rising in righteous fury at the mere thought of such a practice. He was going to need sweet release tonight, no doubt about it……

Kahlan froze in mid-stride, her dress swirling around her legs as four men dropped from the previously sheer cliff face of Blunt Mounta….. oh wait. Wrong book.. He’d said “four women.†Kahlan's powers of observation were second to none.

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Today I saw something scary in TV.

I remember having watched this episode before but the joke had passed under my radar possibly because I had never been enlighted to the greatness of Objectivism. Sadly I just watched the last minutes of this particular episode. It was enough to see something like this:

Ayn Rand School for Tots.

Now I know what school certain novelist attended in his early years.

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Can someone please explain just what is the evil chicken....

:huh:

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Can someone please explain just what is the evil chicken....

It's a chicken that is not a chicken, it is evil incarnate. You can usually recognize such variety of avians by the way the cock their head and let out a slow (evil!) cackle.

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The evil chicken is a chicken that is not a chicken but evil itself. It's clear, right?

Thus the existence of this evil chicken proves that evil exists and that we must fight it, not fighting evil means siding with evil.

You can fight evil by:

1. Kicking little girls in the face, you never now what would have they become when they grew up.

2. Killing unarmed peace protestors.

3. Leading chain laughs exercises. You laugh, your friend laughs, everyone laughs.

4. Feeling your "thing" growing in you.

For more information read GOODKIND III.

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The evil chicken is a chicken that is not a chicken but evil itself. It's clear, right?

Thus the existence of this evil chicken proves that evil exists and that we must fight it, not fighting evil means siding with evil.

And may God help you if you don't have a goat handy when you come face-to-face with the evil chicken.

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And to which book should I refer to see this evil that is not evil???

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I believe you can find this peerless writing achievement of a paragraph in soul of the fire, one of the book composing the epic saga usually referred to as the sword of truth.

To appreciate the work of the author, you should however remember at all times that kicking eight year old girls in the jaw so hard they die shortly after, slaughtering peace prostest guys, raping nuns with barbed dicks, drinking you own menstrual blood while giving a blowjob, talking to goats and arguing about the danger of flinging yourself into a blazing incendy are all metaphors praising the glory of objectivism and freedom, and you should never be so blind as to think it may be inappropriate.

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And to which book should I refer to see this evil that is not evil???

That would be Soul of the Fire.

I must admit, in my younger and more impressionable days, I actually liked the first few books of SoT.

Books 1-3 were actually pretty fun, if you turned your brain off through most of the text. Temple of the Winds was a shadow of bad things foretold, but only when I read Soul of the Fire did I know something was starting to go horribly, horribly wrong.

As much as the evil chicken sucked it was just an intro for the suckness to come.

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I bet teh-wee is kicking his self for not calling the series Sword of the Truth, and the first and second books First Rule of the Wizard and Stone of the Tears, respectively.

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I believe you can find this peerless writing achievement of a paragraph in soul of the fire, one of the book composing the epic saga usually referred to as the sword of truth.

To appreciate the work of the author, you should however remember at all times that kicking eight year old girls in the jaw so hard they die shortly after, slaughtering peace prostest guys, raping nuns with barbed dicks, drinking you own menstrual blood while giving a blowjob, talking to goats and arguing about the danger of flinging yourself into a blazing incendy are all metaphors praising the glory of objectivism and freedom, and you should never be so blind as to think it may be inappropriate.

You know, when summarised like that, it sounds so mad its got to be good. A pity the truth is so depressing.

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Verna walked in stunned silence as they turned a corner. "The people stay for this flogging."

"I think that's what they go for. The entire crowd supporting the winning team counts out the number of lashes as they're laid on. Emotions run pretty high. People get really worked up over Ja'La. Sometimes there are riots. Even with ten thousand troops trying to keep order, things can get out of hand. The players sometimes start the brawl. The men who play Ja'La are brutes."

And the person who wrote this is a sadomasochistic bastard. XD Terry, you the man.

On the Aztecs and Mayans, I believe its the winners, not the losers, who get sacrificed, and the whole thing was more of a religious ritual than a game.

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