Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Werthead

GOODKIND IV

647 posts in this topic

Don't tempt me, shrimp...or else I might write a non-fan-fic involving S&M crustacean porn inside a boiling pot...except that might turn you on, I suppose ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
oooh! oooh! check it now! :)

Genius! That last line, with the goat, perfects the work. It's as good as Terry's own.

The previous post made could have been made by Mystar - it would probably have fewer exclamation marks and more spelling mistakes, and would have been a little more insulting, but the talent is there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Don't tempt me, shrimp...or else I might write a non-fan-fic involving S&M crustacean porn inside a boiling pot...except that might turn you on, I suppose ;)

:o

Shrimps need love, too. Love, not boiling water!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bah, you're just being sentimental again. Besides, since when have shrimps demonstrated a noble spirit? ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Though you are in the vast minority, its ok.

Ahem. Seems like you are the one who is the minority here and now that I actually bothered to look at your board, I don't think you can match this place in users or traffic, so yes - its ok, but no, the majority is here.

I know how troubled and unhappy people need an outlet for the poor quality and frustration that is their lives. BY your posts it is clear how trite and small your lives are.

As a lurker and occasional poster here, I beg to differ. Your tone is rude, your generalizations are insulting and your reasoning is not compelling.

Sure you can try and poke me with "look who trolls and your just as bad for lurking here and there", consider this, You don't see me mocking or berating anyone but a couple of sad little people, simply giving back a small portion of what they spew out.

What I see is someone attacking a sizeable number of people who never insulted or mocked you, including myself. Noone denies your right to defend and flame if you are being flamed. Flamewars do happen, this is not the first and not the last instance. However, you deem it necessary to insult everyone posting here, excluding yourself.

Which is nothing in comparison to the countless hours you devote to this...it really is funny, for in the grand scheme of things, is backfiring on you, and you don't even know it.

Tatsächlich habe ich jetzt meine Zeit verschwendet um hier zu antworten, aber nur um dich zu ärgern antworte ich jetzt auf Deutsch, was eh' nicht verstehen wirst, Arschgesicht. Du bist ein armer kleiner Wurm, ein Spackmat, der im Leben nichts anderes hat als seinen kleinen Kreuzzug für Scheisse zwischen zwei Buchdeckeln und einen Autor dessen widerliche und selbstgefällige Selbstdarstellung abstossen ist. Vom großen Bild hast du noch nicht viel gesehen, mit der geistigen Flexibilität einer Brechstange haust du hier eine Idiotie nach der anderen raus, ich würde dir raten, einfach mal den Schaum vom Mund zu wischen und ein bisschen weniger rohes Fleisch zu essen.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
einfach mal den Schaum vom Mund zu wischen und ein bisschen weniger rohes Fleisch zu essen.

:lol:

I wonder how that will come out in Babelfish?

(aber muss ich sagen dass Ihr Woerter ziemlich harte und unfreundlich sind...Vielleicht Sie koennten ein paar aendern, in the spirit of fairness und Board-Regeln)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Though you are in the vast minority, its ok.

Ahem. Seems like you are the one who is the minority here and now that I actually bothered to look at your board, I don't think you can match this place in users or traffic, so yes - its ok, but no, the majority is here.

I think he meant in terms of book sales. His forum actually has 6,000 members (more than here, for now, a drop in the ocean compared to Wotmania though) and 600 'active' members.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That site just gets better... props to you guys!

Is the real mystar actually on here trying to steal my position of most annoying troll, or is it just a crossover alt?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I think he meant in terms of book sales. His forum actually has 6,000 members (more than here, for now, a drop in the ocean compared to Wotmania though) and 600 'active' members.

Actually, you can discount about half of those SNs at wotmania as being secondary alts for people (I have quite a few there, actually). There are over 10K signed up for the newsletters and just based on estimates, I would say there are about 1500 'regulars' at wotmania and another 5-10 K that post occasionally and another 5-10K that have stopped visiting/posting.

Oh, and as for the response in German...

That was quite a diatribe! :D And I don't know if Babelfish will pick up on it, but I'm pleasantly surprised that I remember a lot more German than I thought :o

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Bah, you're just being sentimental again. Besides, since when have shrimps demonstrated a noble spirit? ;)

So goats need loving too?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Perhaps. Goats have a noble spirit. It hasn't been proven yet if crustaceans do ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Perhaps. Goats have a noble spirit. It hasn't been proven yet if crustaceans do

Kinda reminds me about that parable about the shrimp.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Perhaps. Goats have a noble spirit. It hasn't been proven yet if crustaceans do ;)

Noble spirit or not, goats have proven themselves to be the pawns of evil. Unwitting dupes of sinister wizards and such.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Noble spirit or not, goats have proven themselves to be the pawns of evil. Unwitting dupes of sinister wizards and such.

Exactly. If we be evil, we do it of our own volition. So give us LOVE, DF.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hrmm...I thought I was to HATE evil, not LOVE it :huh:

Then again, there is some fun to be had on the 'dark side,' so perhaps... ;)

But then again, how are crustaceans>goats? It seems it should be as so on the Terry Scale: goats>chickens>ninja crustaceans.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Where does Brophy the talking dog fit into this? And we haven't even got to Scarlet the stupid talking dragon yet.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
And we haven't even got to Scarlet the stupid talking dragon yet.

Ok, any quotes available - this sounds far too amusing to be left out! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

They fit into the failed marketing strategy of Terri trying to draw in the Saturday Morning Cartoon crowd. All it took was reading the Namble/Sister of the Dark scene, not to mention the ball-munching scene at the end of WFR for that to fail to draw the kiddies.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Normally when hungover I'd avoid Goodkinds work, but because Bran the Builder asked so nicely (and because I've started drinking again), here's the Terry Goodkind Quote of the Day!

At this point in the story Richard has escaped from the Mord Sith and bumps into a dragon (yup, a dragon) that works for Darken Rahl.

"What have we here?" came a decidedly female voice. "A tasty treat?"

Richard sprang to his feet and drew the sword, sending its ring into the air.

"I need your help."

"Only too glad to help you, little man. But not until after I eat you."

"I'm warning you, stay back! This sword has magic."

"Magic!" the dragon gasped in mock fright. It put a claw to its breast. "Oh, please, brave man, don't slay me with your magic sword!" It made a smoky rumble that Richard took for laughter.

Richard kept the sword out, but felt suddenly foolish. "You intend to eat me, then?"

"Well, I must admit, more for the amusement than the taste."

"I had heard red dragons were an independent sort, but that you are little more than a lapdog to Darken Rahl." A ball of flame boiled from the mouth, rising into the air. "I thought you might like to be free of your bonds, and be independent once more."

<blah blah blah>

"The entertainment is over. Time for my tasty treat."

"All right. I'm prepared to die." Richard had to think of a stall, to give himself time to think. Why would a red dragon be at the service of Darken Rahl? "But before you eat me, may I tell you something first?"

"Speak," the dragon snorted. "But make it short."

"I'm from Westland. I've never seen a dragon before. I always thought they would be fearsome creatures, and I must admit, you certainly are fearsome, but there is one thing I wasn't prepared for."

"And what would that be?"

"You are, without a doubt, the most stunningly beautiful creature I have ever seen."

It was the turth. Despite the deadly nature of it, it was strikingly beautiful. The neck of the dragon made itself ino an S shape as it pulled its head back, blinking in surprise. The eyes frowned a little, doubting.

"It's true," Richard said. "I'm to be eaten, I have no reason to lie. You are beautiful. I never thought I would see anything as magnificent as you. Do you have a name?"

"Scarlet."

"Scarlet. What a lovely name. Are all red dragons as stunning as you, or are you special?

Scarlet put a claw to her breast. "That would not be for me to say." The head snaked its way toward him again. "I have never had a man I was about to eat tell me such a thing."

An idea began forming in Richard's mind. He put the sword back in its scabbard. "Scarlet, I know a creature as proud as you would not be at the beck of anyone, much less one as demanding as Darken Rahl, unless there was terrible need. You are too beautiful and noble a creature for that."

Scarlet's head floated closer. "Why would you say such things to me?"

"Because I believe in the truth. I think you do too."

"What is your name?"

"Richard Cypher. I am the Seeker."

<and it goes on like that>

~Terry Goodkind, Wizard's First Rule

The more I do this, the more I think that Wizard's First Rule may be the stupidest book of the whole series, though thats a tough call to make.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

ninja crustaceans are a degraded race in SoT. They follow Bushido -- and that is totally antithetical to the Code of Rand.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.