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thehandwipes

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  1. thehandwipes

    Bolton's Burnt Book: Mysterious Reading

    Harrenhall is as rich in mysteries as Winterfell is. Given Qyburn's Frankenstein hobbies, Roose Bolton enthusiasm for the latest health crazes, and the history of Harrenhall, I'd say it was a how-to written by Danelle Lothston about being a creepy pseudo vampire. If the book ends up being important, we'll probably hear of it from Qyburn when the Harrenhall story comes back around. But its worth considering that the book is less important than what Arya learned about Roose. He'll burn a book when he's done with it. He holds no loyalty, he disposes of things that are no longer valuable it him.
  2. Yup. I also think one of the big endpiece battles will take place at the Twins with Jon leading the armies of the dead against a small force of whoever is left in the South. Sansa and the Knights of Vale will be the strongest contingent. As far as I know I'm the only person ever to suggest this (probably cause I'm dead wrong).
  3. You're not talking about Theon, are you?!? Sounds like you're talking bad about Theon! Don't you talk bad about my boy Theon!!!
  4. thehandwipes

    [Book Spoilers] Jaime & Brienne- What's going on?

    Yeah, all we can really say for certain is that they are aware of it and are keeping it alive. So it doesn't seem to be a dropped plotline. They must have something planned. Something awful, no doubt, but something.
  5. thehandwipes

    [Book Spoilers] Jaime & Brienne- What's going on?

    Wow, that was rough. I think what it shows is that they are basically aware of what the dynamic between them ought to be and are trying to get them there despite the fact that they've written themselves into such a god awful mess. Maybe sometime after the King's Landing Barb-B-Crew Jaime will do a character 180 towards his book character.
  6. Yeah, and the Greystarks once existed as well. And they have marriage ties to a great many houses in the North. But still, no second, third, fourth cousins named Stark have popped up? Not that it matters. Absolutely no doubt in my mind the Night's King, and that dude with the pointy head in the show, was a Stark. I don't think that he's some Big Bad out beyond the Wall that we haven't seen yet, if he's still around he might be Coldhands but I wouldn't bet my life on it. Anyway, there's so much to suggest that the history of Westeros is false that it simply must play a role in the narrative. Also, history as BS is one of my favorite sub-themes from Gore Vidal's Creation and Burr and I'm really looking forward to GRRM's take on it.
  7. Yeah it screwy since the Starks have ruled the North for thousands of years. Stark cousins should be as plentiful as Lannister cousins. I've heard theories like, they send the boys to the Wall, but it doesn't really explain why they don't have even one second or third cousin popping up in the story. I think the answer is that there simply isn't a place for them in the narrative. That having been said, I do think the Others, many if not all, are Starks.
  8. Lena and Nicolaj said it was consentual but it didn't look that way to me. I don't actually think the show can tell us anything about what will really happen. If D&D want all their characters to sacrifice themselves in the most badass way possible with no thought to their characters, they'll make it happen, as un-creatively as possibly. In Norse mythology the god Hodr, tricked by Loki, accidentally kills Baldr (which is actually the exact same name as Walder) with an arrow tipped with mistletoe. Hodr is the god of winter, of the cold and the dark. Baldr is the god of awesomeness, everyone loves this guy, he's the best. Maybe they were trying to show this and failed, but I think in the books Bran (Hodr) will hurt Waldur (Baldr) by mistake by Bloodraven's (Loki) doing. That's my take on it.
  9. Uh, not to ruin anybody's Happy, but have we ever, in book or show, seen any indication that Hodor is capable of great bravery. We've seen him panic in thunder, freeze in terror while under attack from wights, and have to be calmed down at the sight of roots cause they look like snakes. Awesomeness may come natural to Hodor but I've seen nothing that even vaguely resembles courage. It wouldn't be the first time we've seen an actor on the show say something entirely counterintuitive regarding their character. Is it not far more likely that Hodor was helplessly pinned against that door by Bran. That he died struggling like Thistle to regain control of his body while terrifying, terrifying wights peeled the skin from his flesh and the flesh from his bones and his only two friends in the world fled to safety, without him. Just kidding, the show doesn't mean anything.
  10. I just assume the "laughing emoticon" could be applied to all my posts, I am effortlessly hilarious. I read through the couple pages of the sister thread and I loved seeing all the references to the wind and the mists in connection to BR, especially when you consider the mists connection to otherworldliness in Norse mythology and mythological monsters ability to control winds and mists in common European folklore. I've been very reluctant to accept Theon going back to the Iron Islands despite some of the strong foreshadowing because his story seems so tied to Bran and Winterfell that going back to the Islands seems anti-climactic. But I've started to accept it. With two lo ng-ass books left I imagine Theon will have time enough to satisfy his Winterfell story and go to the Iron Islands. I love your post about Bran/Athena. Its incredible the way GRRM manages to draw inspiration from so many disperse sources and meld them into a coherent narrative.
  11. seasons 7 and 8. Its going to start looking like Rome, season 2; but with really bad writing.
  12. She knows more about Norse mythology than I ever will, that's for sure. One of the reasons I've been staying away from the book forum is that some of the stuff on there is so insightful that it must be true, and thus a spoiler. Most of the book forum is crackpottery nonsense but I was hoping to stay away from some of the really good stuff till after TWOW came out.
  13. No, I don't have a blog. My major contributions to ASOIAF fandom involve bitching about D&D after work.
  14. There's a Heresy Thread and no one told me!!! Jeez, I have some exploring to do.
  15. Yeah, I think those are them, let me see if I can find a link.
  16. Heretic in what sense? I'm atheist in the religious sense, I don't practice enough religion to practice heresy.
  17. Dorian-the-Historian is a good place to start. Although I disagree with several of his points. Particularly, the one-to-one analogies. Although Bran=Fenrir Jaime=Tyr is stone to me, most of the Gods in the myth don't have perfect one-to-one analogies. And I think that leads him to make several big mistakes like Mance=Egber and Tommen is the PTWP. Also, all of the threads started by sweetsunray are fantastic. She seems to reject the Bloodraven=Loki view in favor of Bloodraven=Odin and I think that's a mistake. My understandin is that Odin/Loki were initially a single God which is why they have so many similarities. And I think Bloodraven appears and acts much like Odin, but will fulfill the role of Loki in the Ragnarok. Loki pretending to be Odin if you will, a very Loki thing to do. But, seriously, just click on any of the links in her signature, they are all fantastic.
  18. Well, we have two examples of the afterlife in ASOIAF that don't bode well for Jon's kind and forgiving nature. Warging into Ghost will likely leave him more wolflike (per Varamyr's prologue) and resurrection (via R'hllor) probably won't help his personality either. Varamyr's prologue was certainly there to set up a second life for Jon inside of Ghost. And, I think, Lady Stoneheart was likely included so that Jon's resurrection and change wouldn't come across as a plot contrivance with no set-up. Jon is not the hero to save the world, I don't think.
  19. Its the only thing I want out of season 6!!!
  20. I don't see Bran leaving that cave physically for quite some time, in the books anyway. If Bran=Fenrir, and I believe he does, Bran "breaking his bonds" will be the event that ushers in the Ragnarok in earnest. Whatever that might mean in ASOIAF (warging an ice dragon, perhaps) its likely to coincide closely with Jon's (=Surtr the Black) resurrection and the collapse of the Wall (=Bifrost Bridge). In other words, it will be the most important thing that happens in ASOIAF. But in the show, honestly, who knows? I think the Battle of the Bastards is entirely the work of D&D so all of season 6 is suspect. Jon certainly will be leading an army to Winterfell (hopefully by the end of TWOW) but it won't be Wildlings and it won't be the Boltons he's attacking (I think). The only thing we know for sure about season 6 is there will be more Spooky-Scary-Skeletons. For-sure.
  21. I'm thinking of heading over there after I hit the R&R thread real fast, but I've been actively avoiding the Book Forum (or the good threads at least) for the last couple of months. Particularly, the in depth analysis threads started by highly insightful people to avoid potential spoilers before TWOW was released. But I was really hoping that would have been early this year.
  22. Well its gonna be hard to talk Bran in Season 6 without R&R'ing a little because of the show's track record of missing the point and the very little info we have to go on. We don't know if they're planning to rush through all his material cause they thought it was boring (like Sansa in season 4), stretch it out so they can have a big episode 9 moment (like Jon in season 4), or just go completely off-book (like most of season 5). We don't know if they plan to up his powers so that he's not limited to the weirwood net, tone it down because magic is boring, or randomly jump back and forth. We don't even know if they plan to stick to Bran's story or use him fill in the gaps on the backstory they never covered. In the books, Bran's story is intricately tied to Jon and Theon, and I think the reason his chapters cut off halfway through ADWD (and the reason we have no sample chapters for him) is that we'll get at least one chapter (preferably more) taking place before the climax of ADWD. Chapters that will fundamentally change the way we view Jon and Theon's stories and shape the way they develop. The show has already missed this opportunity. I think we'll learn a little history in season 6 and see Bran's power expand, and its likely that he'll play a part in Jon's resurrection. I think Bran "meeting" the Night's King was nothing more than a jump scare but we might learn more of them. If I watch season 6, what I'll be looking for is the relationship between Bran and BR and the way BR is depicted. If they plan to stay faithful in any way to ASOIAF the character and motivations of BR will be far more important than the plot points they will inevitably butcher. Whew!!! Got through that whole thing without R&R'ing at all, I'm so proud of myself.
  23. Hahahahha! I was just thinking this forum doesn't have enough Tim-Burton jokes. Kudos to you!
  24. I don't like either Bloodraven. This is what Bloodraven should look like, and I think a good puppet could pull that off. MVS is a fantastic actor and I don't blame him at all for not wanting to spend all that time getting prosthetics attached to him at his age. I just don't see why it was necessary to get such a big name actor for the role.
  25. Yeah, Max von Sydow is a great actor but I was disappointed when I heard he was cast. Honestly, to me, the ideal Bloodraven is a detailed puppet with a good voice actor (maybe Max von Sydow). My heart sank when I saw shots of him and Bran walking around and talking. Bran's trips through the weirwood net should have a damp earthy mysticism to it. But it looks like they're just going to stroll through the past as easy as walking onto the holodeck or plugging into the matrix.
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