Jump to content

Derfel Cadarn

Members
  • Posts

    6,763
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Posts posted by Derfel Cadarn

  1. 22 minutes ago, Heartofice said:

    Basically yeah, if you can get a job but choose not to because you can’t be arsed, why should the state subsidise your laziness?

    People were having to use AL days when petrol peaked because they couldnt afford to drive to work.

    Some people cant afford to work because of childcare; council nursery places can be hadd to get, and privste nursery is expensive. Not everyone has the luxury of family who can look after kids, and then there’s summer holidays when kids are off.

    Carers: My sister had to quit a £30-grand job, her rented house, and move into a council flat adjusted for disability, because my youngest nephew needs full-time care. She’d love to get back to work, but its not on the cards any time soon.

  2. 12 hours ago, Toth said:

    Damn, spending two weeks in constant anxiety is so incredibly draining, but it seems I can't make it stop even when it appears it starts to stop.

    Somehow these last few weeks everything has been hurled at me at once. First I had unexpectedly become mentor for an intern, so I started putting 300% effort into my lessons in order to not make a fool of myself in front of her. This also has a neat side effect in confronting me with what certainly comes across as my anti-social behavior, what with the other colleagues instantly using informal pronouns with her while I retain formal pronoun distance.

    In any case, there is the thing that right now is turning me crazy. I was trying to do a big step. A huge step even. One of my goals that I had set for myself is that I want to live and work in a school abroad at some point. All of a sudden one of the schools I really, REALLY, really wanted to attempt to apply has put out an ad two weeks ago that they are seeking a teacher with my subjects. It would mean leaving the country for three years, working there and then coming back.

    I... made my intention clear that I want to apply. And my mother is furious beyond belief. Saying that I'm a selfish idiot who doesn't know the worth of money because working there would likely mean making less money than I do, especially since I have to afford another home during that time. She is also extremely worried and vocal about me not getting my position at my current school back afterwards, claiming in no job you will ever get taken back after a leave of three years, though while it is true that I by law don't get a guarantee, my principal when asked said they do expect to take me back and is supportive of my attempt. Even if my position gets filled, I'm a computer science teacher, I can't believe it would be that difficult to get a different school if all else fails. But my mother doesn't want to hear it, she keeps saying I'm throwing away everything she helped me get, that I will end up jobless and homeless. Before I asked my principal for support, she was also fearing that just telling her would cause her to bully me out and I'd be jobless regardless.

    I told her to stop, because her telling me stuff like that is the reason why I drag out even the silliest shit out for weeks (like the jogging and swimming decisions years ago). She absolutely exploded that I was blaming her for my mental health problems and went on a rampage, smashing everything in sight for more than an hour, threatening to kill the cat when it came looking what was going on and kept threatening to destroy everything I own when at school and unable to stop her. I did manage to talk her down, apologize and reaffirm my intention to stick to her plan that I will still save up for a house for the two of us. That calmed things down for nearly a week...

    ... and then today happened when I finally sent the application. It all bubbled back up and once again she was furious with me. That I have been using her all this time just to save money and now I fuck off and leave her to die while in another country. She's utterly convinced she's about to die soon, because she has something, but is unwilling to elaborate what it is and also refuses to go see a doctor (accusing me I want to accelerate her death when I suggested going to one). Another worry of hers is what happens if I die in an earthquake, then she won't be able to be with me either.

    At the same time a group of people from another forum invited me to join their Dead by Daylight game group. In an attempt to push past my comfort zone, I accepted and played with them last Sunday, but the stress of failing them, accelerated by my anxiety levels having been through the roof anyway, had been putting me even more on edge. The thing is Monday I had turned down another invitation for playing because the exhaustion and stress had totally overwhelmed me, at first just pushing away the call and playing dead... and today was another meet-up where they wanted to show me the ropes as a Survivor. And I just couldn't because of my mother's angry rant again having shaken me up. Even though in the hours between my sending the application and my mother's anger bubbling up, I was at ease with myself for the first time in two weeks. Now it's all gone already.

    Why is mental health so damn difficult... I just want to live my life... But then again, maybe these goals I set myself are selfish and I am trying to get distance between us, which is essentially the same as abandoning her and leaving her alone. I just... I don't know how to deal with her finality that she's about to die soon (just because she's at the age her own mother died) and that I need to stay with her until then. Maybe she's right and I'm self-destructively selfish, that I have nothing to gain by living elsewhere and could save up much more money just keeping on like this.

    Well doje and good luck!

    From what you’ve said, your mother is an emotionally abusive person who is wrecking your mental health. Why woukd you save up for a house for both of you? So she can eventually die and you’ll be left alone in middle-age? 

    Get out of there.

  3. 25 minutes ago, Heartofice said:

    How many vaccines have you had?

    4 (x2 AZ, 1 Phizer (sp), 1 moderna).

    I was on immune-suppressants until covid hit, so I got extra shot and was in shielding group. Its likely I’ll be back on them in the coming weeks, dependingon what my consultant says. 
    Should be due an autumn booster.

     

    Also asthmatic and had to take a couple inhaler puffs, but generally its mild and I run

  4. 12 minutes ago, Werthead said:
    Apparently Governor of the Russian Central Bank Nabiullina has tried to resign again. The Russian stock market has also taken an absolute pounding. Announcing mobilisation could tank the Russian economy overnight, if thousands of young men are yanked out of their jobs.
     
    Apparent strong arguments in the Kremlin over what to do next, and those arguments are still ongoing: Putin's speech has been delayed because it sounds like he wanted to talk with other people (possibly Nabiullina).

     

     

     

     

    Hope the governer’s staying away from open windows.

  5. On 9/15/2022 at 6:24 PM, Derfel Cadarn said:

    Shoukd find out tomorrow afternoon if I got the job I applied for. Was intervoewed by my boss and her boss (who originally interviewed me for my current role in 2019 before my boss was hired).

    Not very confident, some of the questions were weird (how do you motovstr yourser to do taks you least like; how donyou motivate a team not working well together).

    There are specific stuff they’re looking for.

    There were 4 applicants altogether inc me, last interview tomorrow. Its temp for 8 months initially, if I get it and its either not extended or Indont apply for it if made permanent, I’d revert to current role.

    Woukd like to get it (same dept I’m in now and the extra money is half of what I’m on now). But if I dont, I’m happy doing what im doing.

    Found out this morning I was unsuccessful, which while expected, was not the news I wanted an hour after testinf+ for covid. 

  6. 27 minutes ago, Werthead said:

    A mass grave has been unearthed near Izyum. 300+ bodies, they seem to all be local civilians.

    There were two "large" explosions overnight in Melitopol. Partisan activity around the town is very high.

    China has, but it has buyer's remorse. It's woken up to the fact that a lot of those investments will never be repaid, and that's helping send shockwaves through the Chinese economy.

    Finally realised that dude they were dealing with wasn’t really a Nigerian prince? 

  7. Shoukd find out tomorrow afternoon if I got the job I applied for. Was intervoewed by my boss and her boss (who originally interviewed me for my current role in 2019 before my boss was hired).

    Not very confident, some of the questions were weird (how do you motovstr yourser to do taks you least like; how donyou motivate a team not working well together).

    There are specific stuff they’re looking for.

    There were 4 applicants altogether inc me, last interview tomorrow. Its temp for 8 months initially, if I get it and its either not extended or Indont apply for it if made permanent, I’d revert to current role.

    Woukd like to get it (same dept I’m in now and the extra money is half of what I’m on now). But if I dont, I’m happy doing what im doing.

×
×
  • Create New...