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Renly's Banana

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Everything posted by Renly's Banana

  1. Renly's Banana

    Who is Haldon Halfmaester?

    First one to say "Howland Reed" gets a smack to the head. I think Haldon is just Haldon. There really aren't any good candidates for who he could be based on the history we know. Just how Duck is merely Duck. I do think he could very well be working for the Hightowers or the Citadel in some way though. But that's tinfoily stuff; no proof for it either.
  2. Renly's Banana

    Would you rather?

    Why in the world would you ever want to be under Robb when you can have Tywin as a boss? Besides the north is gray and smelly. Would you rather be Yezzan's favorite treasure~ or Walder Frey's bed warmer? Either way you won't like it.
  3. Renly's Banana

    The perfumed seneschal

    @Morgana Lannister Well Dany doesn't know Varys, that's the thing. I think the most that she's been told about him came from Jorah. She's vaguely aware of a spymaster in King's Landing and she knows he's called "The Spider", but that's about it. She has no idea that this man has been indirectly influencing her life for a while now, much less that he's been working with Illyrio. Varys has never really registered on her radar, thus the warning is apt. Also don't forget that Illyrio's (and by extension Varys') original plan was for Aegon to marry Daenerys. The perfumed seneschal was gonna trick her into marrying a Blackfyre pretender who's trying to steal her dragons and her throne, I'd say that's something to look out for. The only reason Aegon turned back west instead was cause Tyrion got inside his head. And personally, I think that's ANOTHER thing that backfired on Illyrio and Varys (much like her eggs hatching). I think Varys truly appreciated Tyrion's wit and thought he'd make a wonderful adviser to Aegon and Dany, but never imagined his advise would be to attack so soon. Or maybe that's something Varys was planning all along, I dunno. Everything gets convoluted when that hairless, giggling fuck is involved. god I love 'em
  4. Renly's Banana

    The perfumed seneschal

    GRRM writes his prophecies in a way that is open for multiple interpretations. And the more he's noticed that fans love to speculate and dissect them, the more red herrings he's thrown in there for fun. Varys and Reznak mo Reznak are the two most obvious candidates, but the Salaesori Qhoran is also a literal perfumed seneschal heading her way. Why exactly should she beware this ship, though? The only people of note aboard were Moqorro and Tyrion, and Quaithe already talks about them specifically as Dark Flame and Lion. So it can't be the ship. The way she words the prophecy, she puts this seneschal at the very end. "Remember the Undying. Beware the perfumed seneschal" go together, so it's a sort of big bad or final danger she has to look out for. Why should she remember the Undying? Well, they were a group of people who lured her into a trap only to turn on her and reveal their true forms. They were a sort of Wizard of Oz deal, a mirage hiding the true culprit(s) behind the curtain. A group of frauds who wanted to steal her power for themselves. Quaithe is trying to warn her about a fake person, a false character, trying to cheat her or use her again like the Undying did. The only perfumed seneschal who fits this bill, I think, is Varys. Reznak is a red herring, and a bad one at that. He's incredibly obvious and even Daenerys suspects him; it's not him. The ship is also a red herring, albeit a more subtle one. Varys is the one who has been manipulating and using Dany since the very first book. If we look at the big picture, the biggest "antagonists" in Daenerys' whole story are Varys and Illyrio. Her biggest threats in the future. And even though Varys seems to have his hopes pinned on Aegon, we still don't know what his current plans for Daenerys are. He could very well be trying to steal her power or dragons in some way. In fact, he's already trying to steal her throne away. Just how the Undying were trying to steal her strength, I believe Varys will try to do the same.
  5. Renly's Banana

    Songs that Make Us Think of A Song of Ice and Fire

    The definitive Lady Stoneheart song.
  6. Then why would the Targaryens and Lyseni be pale semi-albinos with silver hair and light eyes? And the most "swarthy" people (i.e. olive skin, black hair) in Westeros are the Dornish.
  7. I never claimed that Tyrion was a saint. Although killing a man who was openly blackmailing you while also putting the life of the woman you love in immediate danger could be seen as a tad understandable. If not sympathetic. At least in my opinion~ Something tells me you're not a very big Tyrion fan. It's a hunch I have. Nothing in-text tells us what Tyrion felt when he was forced to rape Tysha -- I mean, I'm gonna assume he felt bad, seeing as no rational child would feel anything less in that situation. And yes, it was rape, since I'm guessing she wasn't exactly feeling it at the time. So anything else you feel or think about it is conjecture. The point still remains that absolutely nothing Tyrion has done is as bad as the things Tywin did. In general, but also to Tyrion. And anyone who even dared to love Tyrion. He could have easily had Tysha banished or forbidden them to be together, but instead he went the extra mile to forever scar his son just out of spite. Tyrion rightly lost his shit once Jaime told him the truth. I think his intent was less malicious and more suicidal; he wanted to confront his father about it and damn whatever happens. The added pain of seeing Shae with him is probably what pushed him over the edge to grabbing the crossbow. Tywin did that to Tysha because she was a "lowly whore" that had no place with Tyrion... and here he finds a lowly whore in his father's bed. I'd shoot Tywin in the gut too. And maybe one more time through the chest for being a hypocrite.
  8. Are you.. are you seriously being a Tywin apologist right now? Is this really the hill you want to die on? Don't get me wrong dude, I like Tywin too and I will defend him on some issues, but are you really downplaying his abuse of Tyrion? He had a 14-year-old child gang-raped by all his men and forced his 13-year-old son to watch, THEN rape her too. He's been telling his son for as long as he can remember that he would have killed him as a baby if he had the chance. He openly blames him for killing his own mother. He denies him Casterly Rock -- his legal right -- simply because he doesn't like him, and he tells him so. He jumped at the chance to have Tyrion executed by legal means after he was accused of killing Joffrey. So yeah, he did want to kill his father.. and I don't blame him.
  9. Tyrion killed his father because of decades of abuse, hatred and neglect, not because of Shae. The hypocrisy of finding Shae in his bed doesn't even compare to all the horrible stuff Tywin had done to him. He was also just about ready to nonchalantly sentence his son to die, so.
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