Elayis

If I went into this episode cold I'd think it was a parody of aSoIaF. What a complete butchering of every single character; if I didn't know any better, I'd think the character assassination was intentional. I have no problem with Mad Queen Dany, but the show has not put in the time and effort to earn that ending. What was her reasoning behind burning all of King's Landing? I don't know, because the episode never explained it. One of the pivotal moments in the entire series and D&D fell flat on their faces. The less said about Jaime's straight up character assassination the better. The kindest thing I can say about this episode is at least you could see what was going on. The chaos of war on the ground was legitimately well done, but the characters' actions were so nonsensical I couldn't care about any of it. And the dragon action was cool to watch, even if there was zero logic behind it (how did the scorpions go from being ridiculously overpowered to not even remotely threatening in less than an episode?). 1/10. The episode might not deserve it from a technical or acting perspective, as those departments were legitimately well done. but the narrative was such a travesty that it simply outweighs everything else. To see what was once one of my favorite shows crash and burn so utterly was beyond demoralizing and infuriating. I couldn't even enjoy hating it as I have since season 5. I just felt nothing.

Personally, I don't care Cersei. I haven't since D&D went completely off book with her starting in season 3, and have actively hated the character since season 5. Carol/Cheryl is not Cersei. As for Missendei, even if it was just a callback she had to know what Dany's response would be. Doing to King's Landing what they did Astapor would be downright villainous. The way the show has set the stage, there's no way to take out Cersei with Drogon and not inflict massive civilian casualties. It all just comes back to not taking her out last season. So either Dany doesn't care how many smallfolk she kills or she's so stupid it would be criminally irresponsible for her to rule. D&D did say she just "forgot" about Euron, his fleet and Qyburn's scorpions.

Do we care about Cersei, though? I'm honestly more upset about Missendei's desire for Dany to burn all of King's Landing, innocents included.

There have been small hints here and there, so I agree that Mad Dany was inevitable. But even as recently as the last two seasons she has been largely sane and empathetic. Even when telling Sam that she burned his family alive she was still conflicted and remorseful. Her turn should've been handled with a lot more finesse and screen time.

Fuck, I thought last episode was the lowest it could get but here is D&D once again to prove me wrong. I am so glad I read those spoilers beforehand. I'm still angry about the way Ghost was treated and how Rhaegal went out like a bitch, but I can't find the will to care about any of the rest. Of course Dany goes Mad Queen at the flip of a switch. Of course Sansa breaks her word and starts scheming behind everyones back. Of course Jaime is still obsessed with Cersei. Of course the bas guys win because the good guys forget everything and act like complete morons. Of course Missendei's final wish is for Dany to burn thousands of innocent people for revenge. I just can't with this show anymore. Thank God there are only two episodes left. The only reason I'm still watching is so I can watch Euron and Cersei die, but knowing D&D I'm sure they'll try to make it as tragic and sympathetic as possible. GRRM really screwed the pooch when he handed them the keys to the seven kingdoms. 2/10, for Jaime and Brienne finally getting it on.

I knew that last week's episode would most likely be the highlight of the season, I just didn't expect D&D to drop the ball so completely, especially in terms of the White Walkers overall purpose throughout the entire show. Sapochnik was similarly off his game; almost every battle shot was atrociously shot and edited. I can't believe something this subpar was deemed acceptable, let alone something to be enjoyed. The quick cuts were the worst I've ever seen. They make the Russos' action scenes look almost Spielbergian by comparison. I couldn't make heads or tails of the geography, the goals of individual attack formations, who was attacking whom, which characters were dying... That was one of the biggest wastes of money and story potential maybe ever. Even Michael Bay does better. There was no sense of dread, tension or horror. I felt nothing when certain characters were supposedly in danger, I wasn't shocked or awed by anything. The best parts of the episode were the CGI dragon battles, but even those were horrible choreographed and cut. My favorite shot was of the ice cyclones (I assume) the Night King created, but nothing ultimately came of them. There were so many other things he and the White Walkers could've done - I'm shocked they did absolutely nothing in the entire episode. The less said about Arya, TPTWP, the better. There's nothing in her history that makes sense for her to be the one that ends The Long Night. On the show, her story has mostly been about her savagely killing people she didn't like, nothing to do with the White Walkers or The Great Other. It should've been Jon or Dany or Bran or Sam, someone that at minimum had some stake in the game and their actions on the show. What a waste. 3/10 (for some neat CGI).

Solid 8/10. This was the first legitimately good episode of GoT in years. It may not have had the narrative thrill of faithfully adapted book material (no one does aSoIaF like Martin, after all), but it also didn't have any of the usual flaws that were present even in the early seasons. It might be one of the few well-rounded episodes of the entire show. It was honestly a pleasure to watch, something I didn't think was possible anymore with my level of indifference to GoT. Granted, you need ignore the seasons worth of hackneyed storytelling and unearned character developments, but if you can accept the spirit of what the show runners want you to feel it work very well. Cogman was always the one writer other than Martin that seemed to give a damn about these characters and how they would really behave, and this was a stark contrast last week's typical GoT experience. It was nice to be able to root for Sansa for once, or finally see book Jaime and Brienne again (her being knighted was the best scene of the episode), or Theon have a scene with Starks that he had a real connection with (even if one of them is show only). Even Arya's coldness felt like a natural progression of her story over the years. And Ghost was back!

6/10. Frat humor is alive and kicking, the dialogue stilted and flat without Martin's wit, the acting stiff due to the lackluster writing, but overall it could've been worse. I actually sort of enjoyed myself, which is a rare occurrence in these later seasons. The real test will be upcoming episodes. I somehow doubt D&D will be able to restrain themselves from slipping in one or twenty narrative breaking contrivances.

They just had to have the first line be a testicle joke, though, didn’t they; couldn’t help themselves. Overall, though, it was fine, it’s just a shame aSoIaF onscreen has been reduced to such a level that “fine” is the best it’s been in years. It’s paint by numbers with no signs of real creativity or charm, but it was mostly pleasant way to spend an hour. Certainly better than the last several seasons. But then the premiere episodes are usually the least problematic (wastes of time that they are). It’s whatever contrived shenanigans that will crop up once Cersei and the Golden Company make their entrance in the war that I’m worried about. I hope the Army of the Dead isn’t hastily dealt with in episode 3 just to have the rest of the season devoted to Carol and Euron. And I’m certainly not looking forward to Tyrion declaring his love for Dany or possibly betraying her out of jealousy. His concern for Cersei is concerning. To me, they really screwed up revealing Jon’s heritage to the audience years ago but not to him. Instead of it being a dramatically satisfying moment, I was just bored because we’re revisiting information we’ve had since season 6 (book readers have known for quite a bit longer). At least the wait seemed to be worth it, from a production point of view. The show certainly looks more expensive, and the new title sequence was nice.