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Beardy the Wildling

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Everything posted by Beardy the Wildling

  1. Beardy the Wildling

    So what was the third "oh shit" moment?

    Frankly, it's a missed opportunity. Given the Night King is presumably a greenseer like Bran, the two could have done some sort of psychic 4D chess shit. Instead of the meh outcome of 'Bran is a hard taunt against the Night King'.
  2. I agree this was the likely rationale, and in adaptation cuts need to be made. Heck, in earlier seasons some of the cuts really worked, like fusing Wylis Tyrell with Loras, however, some of the cuts they made fucked them over in the long term because D&D never thought about the long term (hence the million character 180s).
  3. Beardy the Wildling

    So what was the third "oh shit" moment?

    Which is precisely the interpretation I go with, tbh. Life's easier when there's a Watsonian justification. Still, saying 'Summer' means 'Bran becomes King' is a stretch. Lipstick on a pig.
  4. Beardy the Wildling

    Who's hyped for Episode 6 for unintended reasons?

    If you saw a clown take a shit on a stage and say 'What a shitshow', only for the entire world to turn around and say said clown was a comedic genius, a revolutionary, a generation-defined masterpiece of comedy gold, would you not want to try to stop people from propping up absolute shit as gold? That's what it's like to hate the sacred cow that is Game of Thrones. Trying to make sure that no, you're not completely insane, you are in fact right to hate the same thing everyone else is clapping about like a fucking seal.
  5. I for one can't wait to see how much of a dumpster fire this final episode will be. Every desperate show 'theorist' (read: apologist) proven wrong, everything just as disappointing as Kit Harrington promised, legions and legions of formerly vehement fans turning on Dan and Dave, HBO desperately trying to cover up their tweet throwing shade at Stanley fucking Yelnats for having 'no essays written about him' when one, yes he has, two, at least Holes got a faithful adaptation, and three, Holes is for early teens, not grown-ass people without brain damage. It might make me sadistic, but I can't wait for all these desperate excuses to be proven wrong and the so-called 'bittersweet' ending leaving all but the most basic of fans nothing but bitter. Who else is hyped for the collapse of this show's reputation?
  6. Beardy the Wildling

    The real character assassination is that of Tyrion

    The way they should have shown Tyrion being outwitted is by having people be even smarter than him, not dumbing him down to farcical levels of stupidity. The problem is, D&D are actually too dumb to write smart characters. Or witty characters, for that matter. Hence most of his jokes with Varys amount to 'nO cOcK lMaO'.
  7. Beardy the Wildling

    So what was the third "oh shit" moment?

    I suppose by that logic, Arya was always a Rhoynar Founder of Dorne and Robb was actually visible wind? Your logic makes no sense. Stop putting lipstick on a pig.
  8. Beardy the Wildling

    I just finished the GOT books!

    'No, Dany, don't go straight to the Red Keep to kill Cersei! Siege the city and starve the people to death like a moral person!' - St Tyrion the Idiot.
  9. GRRM never hated Bronn, and whoever claimed he did is a moron. However, he's also gone on record as saying that the showrunners made Bronn way more prominent than he would have. Not because he hated the character but because Bronn was always meant to be kinda in-the-background. Bronn's role in the books has been limited to killing a dude in a trial by combat, holding a chain, and then trolling Cersei with his casual ambition (to the point of Cersei wanting him dead). But he isn't a major character. Edit: I should also add that if he does make Bronn super-prominent, it may come at the expense of good writing. Remember when he tried to replace the fan-favourite Oberyn Martell with the Darkstar and ended up making the worst thing ever? GRRM isn't flawless, and his attempts at fanservice usually fall flat.
  10. Completely agree with your main point, Journey. I'm down for Mad Queen Dany and Perma Exile Jon if it's done with any kind of narrative grace. As for 'the fans just want fanservice', nah, I think most fans wanted a decently-executed story. Besides, so much of the ending we got was fanservice, and it was a load of shite. Grand Maester Sam, the oathbreaking dropout? Master of Coin/Warden of the South Bronn, who has no experience in taking loans and isn't from the Reach? An independent north while Yara and the Prince of Dorne don't go for independence? (Yara especially joined Dany for independence, yet this got kinda forgot). Tyrion constantly fucking up yet still being Hand of the King in the end? It's not a presence/lack of presence of fanservice that's the issue, nor is it the end destination. It's shit writing and an inability to write good dialogue, good plots, good worldbuilding or good theming that's the problem.
  11. Beardy the Wildling

    The Perils of a Reluctant King

    D&D: Now don't get snarky with me, teleportation is a plausible implausibility.
  12. Beardy the Wildling

    Lord Paramount Bronn

    Lul, that was such a copout. The largest army in Westeros, who alone gave Renly Baratheon a kingly claim by conquest and managed to deflect Stannis's otherwise guaranteed conquest of King's Landing. The army that forced an uneasy alliance between Tyrell and Lannister, that Tywin fucking Lannister was afraid of. But apparently, no. A flower is their sigil, fighting isn't their forte. The home of chivalric romance in Westeros isn't good at fighting. SEEMS LEGIT TO ME. It's odd that this excuse was trotted out to explain not showing a big battle. Usually D&D jump for an opportunity to show off a visually spectacular, tactically inept battle. I guess we can assume, like everyone else, the reachers just didn't know you can use a castle as fortification and not meet your opponents out on the field.
  13. Beardy the Wildling

    Lord Paramount Bronn

    I like to imagine the reacher lords taking a huge issue with Bronn's utterly baseless ascension and mounted a coup in no time. Of course, this is assuming the universe still has meaningful conflict and consequences (which thanks to D&D, isn't the case), but still, there's something funny about the idea that the new, likely incompetent Master of Coin/Warden of the South combo dying within the first year of Bran the Broken's rule. Of course, Bran wouldn't try to help, what with not really wanting anymore.
  14. Beardy the Wildling

    The Perils of a Reluctant King

    Ah, offscreen, where every explanation in Game of Thrones happens.
  15. Beardy the Wildling

    The Perils of a Reluctant King

    Look, cave paintings are convincing stuff. I believe cave-men hunted cattle from cave drawings, obviously I also believe they fought strange, blue-eyed ice zombies too. Never mind that the paintings look way more modern than the surrounding ones, this shit is 3convincing5me. Edit: Also, I have to ask, how come everyone knows what a Night King is? Like, Jon just goes around saying 'THE NAHT KING IS COMMIN', but who the fuck labelled him that in-universe? If it's Jon, moments after discovering he was a thing at all, how does everyone else know what he means? Also, and I'll never get over this, how does he know that killing the Night King would kill all the walkers too? His wights, yeah, I can see the case for that, but his walkers? How the fuck would he know?
  16. Beardy the Wildling

    Bran Truly Was The Best Possible Choice To Rule

    Oh, I agree, it's just a shame that I had at least some kind of stake in one of the bitchy, catty, 'empowered' women because at least most of the time, her bitching made in-universe sense. Then Season 8 comes around and she's full 'chaosh ish a laddah' mode. 'Sit down, Uncle' was a straw-that-broke-the-camel's-back moment.
  17. Beardy the Wildling

    The Perils of a Reluctant King

    I fully agree. Show-Jon is never really ambitious, it's more that the universe keeps throwing him positions of power, he lets his naivity/idiocy screw himself over, then he hits and quits.
  18. Beardy the Wildling

    Bran Truly Was The Best Possible Choice To Rule

    I was referring to her 'sit down, Uncle' moment. It was a moment of completely unnecessary cattiness. At least her previous cattiness with Dany had something of a point (she seemed to be the only person remotely concerned with logistics), but that was pure meanness. But her surname is Stark, we have to root for her, right?
  19. Beardy the Wildling

    Bran Truly Was The Best Possible Choice To Rule

    The thing is, nobody voices even a slightly cogent opposition. Honestly, if show-Edmure had a few more of his book counterpart's redeeming qualities (and even without them), he would be a fine candidate to be king compared to Bran. No, being King doesn't require skillful archery. It doesn't require the ability to magically evade capture at one's own wedding either. Sansa can go fuck herself. I was rooting for her to be queen of the north after being the only competent one in the Battle of the Bastards, but fuck her now.
  20. Beardy the Wildling

    Bran Truly Was The Best Possible Choice To Rule

    Bronn's look of concern was literally the only saving grace of that scene, as he seemed to be the only person sane enough to think 'is this sorcerous nepotistic psychopath looking for a flying nuke he refused to stop the rampage of?'
  21. Beardy the Wildling

    Bran Truly Was The Best Possible Choice To Rule

    When I see people making excuses for lauding an uncharismatic, nepotistic, apathetic, catatonic boy from a province that seceded moments after he took the crown and was implied to let Daenerys burn the city so he could be king as the best possible choice of ruler:
  22. Morgan Freeman did a recap of S8? Holy shit, where can I find this?
  23. The things we do for love - Showpologists on defending bad writing. Regardless of references to the Russian Revolution, the show clearly treats Daenerys as a two dimensional baddie (first order nazi rally, anyone?) for Jon to stab by show's end, so all your effort is unfortunately moot. Stop trying to put lipstick on a pig.
  24. Beardy the Wildling

    Arya the Explorer

    Well, on the plus side, unless she happens upon Aegon, Rhaenys and Visenya (the islands) that she's too far south to hit on a westward trajectory, chances are she's going to sail to her death. And given she's had so much plot armour, an ending where it finally runs out works just fine for me.
  25. Beardy the Wildling

    The real character assassination is that of Tyrion

    I guess all those paragraphs about wondering where whores go was just GRRM copy-pasting a sentence for shits and gigs. I think the show is making you overestimate the importance of Book-Shae. Show-Shae seems to actually like Tyrion, but with Book-Shae, it's obvious to everyone but Tyrion that Shae is just playing the part of the doting lover because of money. Hence her easy betrayal and easy sleep with Tywin. While Show-Tyrion evidently regrets killing Shae in self-defense, Book-Tyrion doesn't make remarks one way or another. Once Shae is choked, she vanishes from the narrative. Not to mention, in the show, Tywin's final provocation of Tyrion is mocking Shae's death (which he somehow knew about from the privy) with 'afraid of a dead whore'. Meanwhile, in the books, Tyrion is demanding the whereabouts of Tysha, and Tywin's final provocation is 'wherever whores go'. He kills his father for calling Tysha, the one person who actually loved him, a whore. Shae is nothing but an afterthought by this point in his downward spiral. I can see Tyrion going either way in the future books (if they ever happen). Maybe he'll become even more destructive, maybe he'll redeem himself and find his soul again. But either way, it'll be an arc, not this static Saint Tyrion bullshit.
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