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Beardy the Wildling

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Everything posted by Beardy the Wildling

  1. Beardy the Wildling

    The real character assassination is that of Tyrion

    The turn is understandable (as you said, Tywin and Jaime's actions are indefensible), but I don't think it quite excuses choking a whore in cold blood (unlike in the show, where it's self-defense) and going across the narrow sea, abusing another whore, then going on a journey with a fellow dwarf he regularly fantasises about killing. This isn't Tyrion at his best, it's the horrible monster everyone assumes Tyrion to be. It's his moment of 'let me be evil' that spurs a darker side to him. Though I don't know, maybe you think fantasising about killing innocents and whore abuse is sympathetic. Each to their own.
  2. Beardy the Wildling

    The Perils of a Reluctant King

    That's in the Old Testament, however, note that in the OT, it's promising... well, the earth. Not an afterlife, just a global takeover, akin to the Quranic global caliphate.
  3. Beardy the Wildling

    The Perils of a Reluctant King

    It should be noted that the notion of an afterlife with rewards and punishments came not from the Jewish Old Testament, but the New Testament, AKA, a time when messianic claimants were preaching to a bunch of oppressed Jews. What better message of comfort to help them accept their lot in life than 'It's all right, turn the other cheek in this life, because you'll be laughing your head off when your oppressors are burning in hell'.
  4. Beardy the Wildling

    How is it fantasy?

    Given they claimed Sam was their favourite 'non-POV character' and referred to Dickon as his older brother, I think it's safe to say at the very least they don't care about the books.
  5. Beardy the Wildling

    The real character assassination is that of Tyrion

    The true mistake was not having the Tysha reveal that turns Tyrion into, let's be frank, a repulsive, resentful creature that proves Tywin's unfair assessment of him 'correct'. This dark turn and the incorporation of FAegon-versus-Daenerys allows Tyrion to slowly, steadily plan to be the source of his family's downfall. Instead, we get whitewashed, t-shirt slogan Tyrion who's best buddies with other fan favorite Varys and apparently 'loves' Daenerys like every man and his dog (the whole Tyrion the Peeping Tom and 'we both loved her, you more successfully', regarding Jon). Because he wasn't allowed to go on his dark path lest audiences (gasp) not consider him an unproblematic fave, he wasn't allowed to do anything interesting or develop. If anything, he ends up losing previous moral complexity and just becomes a 'moral compass' whose 'morality' comprises of idiocy. Because D&D think being good = being stupid, as they love to remind us. 'No, Daenerys, don't execute people who refuse to surrender! No, Daenerys, don't attack your military enemy! Starve her people in a siege, that's much more moral!' Saint Tyrion the Stupid was a direct result of no Tysha reveal.
  6. Beardy the Wildling

    The Perils of a Reluctant King

    Jon Snow (show version) has a history of doing a botched job, fighting well regardless of his competence as a leader, taking credit, then giving up on the job. He is absolutely not a good candidate for kingship, but not for the same reasons as Bobby B. While Bobby B is openly uninterested in taking responsibility while being more than happy to indulge in hedonism allowed of a King, Jon, in his famous catchphrase, 'dun wannit' altogether. He's humble and measured, but can't persist for shit: 1: Becomes Lord Commander, proceeds to make numerous controversial reforms and lets wildlings through the wall. Gets stabbed because while he tried to appease Alliser by making him First Ranger, he still betrayed what many considered the Night's Watch's main goal. After stabbing, gets resurrected, then, after happily using his authority as Lord Commander to execute his murderers, suddenly reveals that no, he doesn't have that authority anymore, his watch has ended. Tactically using loopholes to evade responsibility directly following a direct wielding of the power that requires said responsibility is what the kids call a dick move. 2: Rushes into a suicidal battle plan against the Boltons due to a combination of sheer idiocy, misinformation by a questionable Sansa, and plot armour. Thanks to Sansa's trump card, the battle is won, and despite Sansa being the reason they won, the trueborn heir in absence of Bran and Rickon, and not dumb as a pile of bricks, it's all about cocks in the end so Jon is made King in the North. He proceeds to piss away northern independence in moments when he meets a hawt dragon lady, and even though she becomes willing to help without kneeling... Jon kneels anyway, once again apparently completely unwilling to lead. 3: Whenever the prospect of becoming king is brought up to Jon, he makes his opinion clear. 'Ah dun wannit. Ah nevuh av'. At this point Jon has a history of hating leadership and abandoning his post at the slightest provocation, so Varys should perhaps take Jon at his word and not force him to be King, because knowing him, he'd fuck off to Dorne to 'get warm' when it rains in King's Landing or something.
  7. Beardy the Wildling

    The most important book character that did´nt made it into the tv-show

    Good answer, I hadn't thought to include characters that were assassinated!
  8. Beardy the Wildling

    Ranking the commanders (TV show only)

    You're forgetting the other grand deeds of the best tactician in Westeros, King Stannis Baratheon, who didn't think to fortify Dragonstone when he left it, didn't think to leave a garrison at the Wall, and didn't station night guards capable of spotting resident ninja, Ser Twenty Goodmen. Then, lest we forget, two minutes away from Winterfell, he decides he's too snowed in, and so does the rational thing and burns his daughter to death to melt the snow. For bonus points, sending Davos to smuggle Melisandre and her shadow baby into Storm's End to assassinate Renly, who was camping in the open. Then again, what do I know, he was just some ambitious prick according to D&D, not the man who held Storm's End through a siege and deflected the Greyjoy Fleet.
  9. I find it astounding that this season, David Benioff is making the guy who yelled, with pride, that his writing process revolved around the theme 'dammit, I want my zombie polar bear', look intelligent. He's really been hogging all the stupid this season.
  10. Beardy the Wildling

    The most important book character that did´nt made it into the tv-show

    FAegon and JonCon have landed on Westeros and intend to conquer KL, not to mention they have the GC with them. I think that JonCon and FAegon's roles as rulers of KL with the GC on their side got handed over to Cersei, hence why since the Septsplosion, she hasn't done much beyond stand in a window before dying.
  11. Beardy the Wildling

    I really like what Drogon did but...

    Professor Drogon sees you're a man of culture too.
  12. Beardy the Wildling

    I really like what Drogon did but...

    Are you being facetious, or do people like this actually exist?
  13. Beardy the Wildling

    I really like what Drogon did but...

    Professor Drogon, English Literature PhD, briefly taught D&D eighth-grade level english, allowing them to use heavy handed symbolism and theming to show us who the real aunt killer was. He then flew off to Asshai to ponder on the limits of artistic expression so he can critique the Karl Tanner scene and debate that it has no artistic merit to depict and glam up multiple rapes without exploring anything meaningful beyond 'Karl Bad'.
  14. Beardy the Wildling

    Moral of each characters story?

    I never understood why Grey Worm wasn't angrier, tbh. Earlier in the episode he was executing surrendering men and scored a perfect ten the episode before on a surrendering soldier. It makes no sense.
  15. Beardy the Wildling

    Moral of each characters story?

    Jon Snow - If you commit regicide in front of a queen's dangerous dragon, they'll attack a random chair instead. They'll even help hide the body! Daenerys Targaryen - Don't be unlucky and be born insane. Ned Stark - Don't be unlucky and be Sean Bean. Robb Stark - If your unborn child is named after Sean Bean, you're probably going to die. Sansa Stark - Smirking while your abuser gets mauled to death by dogs is empowering. Arya Stark - Flaying people's faces and baking them into pies is empowering. Bran Stark - If you're prescient, don't try to prevent terrible events, just wait to become king. Rickon Stark - Zig-zag while running from arrows. Theon Greyjoy - Die before the penultimate episode, that way your story arc won't be completely betrayed. Euron Greyjoy - Ship fleets can and do teleport, and grant your ballistae +1000% accuracy. Tywin Lannister - If someone has a crossbow aimed at you, don't insult them. Tyrion Lannister - If you sell mug slogans, you will continue to fail upwards. Jaime Lannister - Incest is wincest. Alternatively, if you dive into a deep pool of water with golden armour, you're fine. Cersei Lannister - Blowing up the Vatican in the middle of a catholic neighbourhood is a good way to become beloved. Bronn - Sit around and make cock jokes and you'll end up on the small council. Sandor Clegane - Pacifism is for wimps, nerd. Oberyn Martell - Don't showboat a winning fight. Ellaria Sand - Killing your gout-afflicted brother-in-law to avenge your lover is empowering. Tyene Sand - You want a good girl, but need the bad pussy. Samwell Tarly - Academia is for idiots, nerd. You can get all the good jobs with nepotism. Also, getting laid is good. Grey Worm - If the queen you've devoted your life to gets stabbed, don't kill the assassin, just set up a council of the murderer's siblings, cousins, uncles, and friends to put him on trial. Roose Bolton - Hire some loyal guards who might react to your known psychopath bastard son stabbing you. Ramsay Bolton - Don't be an idiot and abandon the advantage of city walls, unless you're against Stannis, in which case be as tactically stupid as you like. Alternatively, knowing Ser Twenty Goodmen has perks. Stannis Baratheon - If in doubt, burn your daughter. Melisandre - If you've finally achieved your life goal, walk into the snow and fucking die. Edmure Tully - If you're not a good archer, unable to psychically glean the rationale behind your strategic genius king, and are taken prisoner during your own wedding, you're a laughable idiot who deserves nothing but scorn and mockery. Smalljon Umber - If someone kills their own father, they're cool. Varys - After years of careful scheming, don't throw it away by yelling your latest treachery on a beach. Littlefinger - Don't smirk like a Scooby Doo villain if you want to be a successful manipulator. Robin Arryn - Breast milk is healthy, and will make you grow up to be a tall, thin, handsome young man. The Prince of Dorne - 'Aye' is the only word you need. I'm sure there's more, but for now, bask in D&D's profundity and depth.
  16. Well, I mean, the final season of Game of Thrones captures it perfectly: 'Tragedy': Jon stabbing Daenerys while saying 'Yoo will alwes be McQueen', Drogon seeing his dead mother, and as a result, burning an indirectly related spiky chair. 'Comedy': Tyrion replying to Varys regarding his hypocrisy with dwarf jokes versus eunuch jokes with 'that's because you have no cock'.
  17. Mark Twain said as part of his scathing critique of the Deerslayer novels that a sign of bad writing was when tragedy is comical and comedy is tragic.
  18. Beardy the Wildling

    People's reaction to Dany turning Mad Queen says something about us as humans

    Fair point, but not only did she never follow through, but never had to because they usually capitulated. That is, they surrendered.The exact thing King's Landing did. I can think of many ways to make her snap. But why for the love of all things holy did they do it when she'd already won? Here's an example of a better way to handle it: Don't kill Rhaegal in Ep 4, have Dany not forget about the Iron fleet and therefore decimate it. Euron survives, pissed that his glorious fleet is gone. Also handles the issue of Aimbot Pirate. After that, Dany attacks with two dragons and disables most of the ballistae, forcing KL to surrender. Initially Dany accepts that, but then Euron, crazy, angry, and just plain after a fight, shoots a resting Rhaegal. This, along with the civilians cheering at the proof that dragons are mortal, makes Dany completely dishonour the surrender agreement, see the civilians as ideological enemies that need to be 'taught a lesson', and in general, goes apeshit. Easy changes, just as many scenes, far more organic. Not perfect, but better than 'Surrender bells? KOWABUNGA IT IS'
  19. Beardy the Wildling

    People's reaction to Dany turning Mad Queen says something about us as humans

    Well, yes, my point was that most of the time Daenerys did the same, torching/executing people who were guilty, or showing apathy to the death of an abuser. Suddenly randomly torching citizens is a completely different breed of evil and not particularly well-established as part of her personality. Threatening to flay your sister's face and threaten several great lords of westeros with death, though? That's fine, right, Arya?
  20. Beardy the Wildling

    People's reaction to Dany turning Mad Queen says something about us as humans

    I guess like how people defending the show are deliberately turning a blind eye to: Ned Stark beheading a guy who just wanted to survive. Robb Stark beheading an ally who killed hostages. Sansa smirking while feeding her abuser to dogs and coldly staring as she has her sister slit the throat of her years-long abuser/benefactor. Jon killing an ally to infiltrate the wildlings, beheading a man pleading for his life, and later hanging a twelve year old. Arya smirking while slitting the throat of a paedophile, putting Freys into pies, feeding pies to their relative and smirking while slitting his throat, threatening to flay her sister's face, and threatening to kill multiple great lords of Westeros. Either ruthlessness is a tacitly necessary feature of dealing with enemies/threats in the dark world of Westeros/Essos, or it's a sign you'll go coocoo for coco puffs after getting the surrender you want and playing death race with civilians (alternatively, being a decent person all the time but seeing your idol start playing the death race makes you score a perfect 10 javelin on a surrendering enemy). Which has been the more consistent portrayal of such violence?
  21. Drogon had plenty of time to read and study when he was locked up in Meereen… But he was the only dragon not locked up in Meereen. I guess you kinda forgot that?
  22. Nah, see, he somehow understood the philosophical implications of her death, that seeking power was the true aunt-killer. He then flew off with Dany's corpse to Harvard to finish his English Literature PhD.
  23. New honeypot: Daenerys was one of the extremely rare cases where the heart ends up on the right, and Jon knew about this the same way he knew the Night King was a total fucking keystone: Psychic bullshit heroic instinct.
  24. There are a thousand ways the plot could have been made better, and D&D actively avoided all of them because they didn't want to be seen coming. Here's another insightful meme on the matter: https://i.redd.it/f9vogg4179x21.png
  25. Attack on Titan, a fucking manga/anime, gets the location of the heart correct. The fuck do these chuckleheads have as an excuse? (attack on titan also does the 'grim situation constantly looming over the characters' shit better too)
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