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The Map Guy

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  1. The Map Guy

    Table Setting - Jamie's First Dream

    HA! Buns not intended!
  2. The Map Guy

    Table Setting - Jamie's First Dream

    The whole dream is about Jaime's destiny. He jerked to a halt, teetering on the edge of nothingness. Out along this edge, its always where Jaime burns to be. As he inches further on the edge, the hotter the intensity! "Stay with me," Jaime pleaded. "Don't leave me here alone." But they were leaving. "Don't leave me in the dark!" Something terrible lived down here. "Give me a sword, at least." You have a sword!! "I gave you a sword," Lord Tywin said. It was at his feet. Jaime groped under the water until his hand closed upon the hilt. Nothing can hurt me so long as I have a sword. As he raised the sword a finger of pale flame flickered at the point and crept up along the edge, stopping a hand's breath from the hilt. The fire took on the color of the steel itself so it burned with a silvery-blue light, and the gloom pulled back. What does "stopping a hand's breath from the hilt" mean George?? The hilt of a sword doesn't breathe!! And what is the source of this silvery-blue light? Does it look something like this? (here is another look ... thank God it wasn't an atomic bomb or something. I live here in Queens, NYC. I would of died and never got the chance to write all my theories in 2019!) "Do they keep a bear down here?" Brienne was moving, slow and wary, sword to hand; step, turn, and listen. Each step made a little splash. Why are you randomly asking about a bear? "A cave lion? Direwolves? Some bear? Tell me, Jaime. What lives here? What lives in the darkness?" A Lannister, a Stark and a ...
  3. YOU are King Stannis Baratheon and Azor Ahai at Crofter's Village. How do you take Winterfell? Forget the Pink Letter and its details ... they haven't happened yet (or may never even happen) As Stannis, the Battle Commander, you KNOW: A: You are outnumbered against your enemies B: Facing a fortified Castle C: Snow Storm D: Lack of food and provisions E: Retreat to Deepwood Motte is nearly impossible F: Roose Bolton is a capable commander, lets assume he is hard to fool G: You captured a Bolton spy in Tybald, with maps and ravens H: You captured turncloaks in the Karstarks I: You may have potential allies with the Umbers inside Winterfell J: Hosteen Frey may be in a blind fury K: You have Theon as a hostage and he has knowledge of the castle L: Ice lakes can be used to your advantage outside of Winterfell M: Drums/Warhorns/Chants can be heard without being seen in the blizzard 1. What do you do? GRRM's Chekhov Guns ... things Stannis does not know yet N: Manderlys are friendly forces, but are under Roose's suspicions O: Freys & Manderlys left from two different gates P: Mance is inside Winterfell Q: Wildling spearwives are inside Winterfell R: Ramsay's low IQ may play a part (seriously, what battles did he win that would make me fear him?) 2. How would they factor? Let me know if I miss anything! 1. What is your battle tactic? 2. How would these play out in TWOW? I know some people kind of forgot about all these little items ... but after listing them all, anyone still think Ramsay wrote the Pink Letter AND Stannis actually lost the Battle of Winterfell? @three-eyed monkey I know you want Stannis to "play possum" with Items G & H. That's fine. I just don't think that is bad ass enough for Stannis. My imagination of some of Stannis' forces chanting outside of one of the two Winterfell gates, hidden in the blizzard: "WINTER IS COMING, BUT OURS IS THE FURY, AND WE ARE ALREADY HERE!" That should get some bloods boiling inside Winterfell, allies or foes.
  4. The Map Guy

    The Stannis Plan and why he wrote the Pink Letter 2.0

    Sorry I didn't get to read through everything. If this was brought up earlier ... i apologize. For Stannis writing the Pink Letter to get Jon to become Warden of the North ....... what happens to a conversation between Wyman and Stannis after Stannis takes Winterfell? Wyman: Hey Stannis, what you up to? Stannis: Oh, I'm just writing a Prank Letter to Jon Snow. Wyman: What for? Stannis: I need a Stark to be in control of Winterfell, but Jon Snow dun want it. I have to trick him to come here. Wyman: Don't you have Arya Stark? Stannis: I prefer a male. Wyman: Won't baiting Jon Snow to abandon his duties in the NW increases his chance of being executed? Stannis: Well, let's hope not. Wyman: Well, if you are looking for a male true-born Stark, we spotted Rickon Stark. Your man Davos is alive and I sent him on a mission to fetch him. If you are not in a rush of establishing a male Stark in Winterfell, we can have both Arya Stark and Rickon Stark here in a few weeks if you wait. Stannis: Davos is alive? And you are sending me a true-born male wolf?? Sheeeeet Fatman, that's all you had to say! And to all the Ramsay PL camp ... if you believe Ramsay actually wrote the Pink Letter, whether if he was deceived or not about the battle ... Team Ramsay would have to admit that Mance is captured and the spearwives were skinned alive. I really really hope George didn't skin our warrior princesses
  5. OMG three-eyed monkey!!! OOPS YOU DID IT AGAIN!! I think you accidentally helped me in the Pink Letter theory and the theme of name confusion in Theon TWOW!! From TWOW - Stannis never asked who Reek was, and with this new information ... Stannis thinks "Reek" is Tybald when he smelled like piss after pissing his pants! Mel will think "Reek" is Tybald's nickname too! This makes a little bit more sense. Asking for "Reek" back in the Pink Letter is asking for Tybald back! But Jon, since he never asked who "Reek" was in the Pink Letter, he assumed "Reek" was Arya's nickname. From TWOW - Anyone a How I Met Your Mother fan? "Who the hell is Barney???" Because with the name confusion theme, the girl here hooked up with "Ted Mobsy, Architect" and not "Barney" (It was Barney pretending to be Ted!) Funny 2007 scene ... especially the one about the ghost materializing itself. Wait a minute .... could this idea be the HM in The Ghost of Winterfell ADWD? George, you didn't .... And God dammit monkey, I love you. You are half the reason for my avatar from the first time!
  6. It looks like most of you guys want the Freys to be killed off outside of Winterfell. That is fine, but just how do you take Winterfell afterwards? If you want to play possum and lure Roose into a false sense of security, that may work ... but that is a rat move, and I just don't think George would create this for Stannis' character arc. The North and us readers would remember Stannis for this ratty move. What I propose - Stannis is going to be a bad-ass and deceive Roose by INFLATING his numbers. With Tybald, you can employ two types of deceptions: false sense of security (like Frey/Bolton being dishonorable at the Red Wedding) pretend to be stronger than you appear (I would call this a honorable deception IMO) I have about 4 or 5 ideas of how the Battle of Winterfell in TWOW may play out. Here is my favorite fan-fic: Instead of killing the Freys, I want to humiliate them. With Roose knowing the location of Stannis' camp with Tybald's first map, the Freys are marching there. I will borrow a bit from the Nightlamp theory and use Lightbringer, alive with light in the blinding blizzard, as a beacon for the Freys to chase. It would be made to appear that Stannis is retreating. But this is to be a wild goose chase, led by Mors Umber. Using the beacon, the Freys are drawn further away from Winterfell, making their numbers useless. Once they are far enough, the false beacon Lightbringer disappears in the blizzard and the Fyres of the Twins are left stranded in the cold cold North, blinded in snow where the use of a map would betray them. They are forced to retreat back to Winterfell, empty-handed. While the Freys are chasing the false Lightbringer in a northwest direction from Winterfell. Stannis marches east in a sweep around of Winterfell. Here he bumps into the Manderlys ... and hopefully a non-violent exchange happens. Wyman pleas to join Stannis, mentioning the real story of Davos and Rickon Stark. Stannis, still doubtful, ask the Manderlys to drop their weapons and march with them, as a safety precaution from backstabbing. Wyman agrees without incident. Stannis at some point tells Tybald to send a deception message. Here Tybald tells Roose that 10,000 wildling reinforcement arrived and have defeated the Freys in battle. Most of the wildlings are skilled in climbing walls. Battling rams have been prepared. The wildlings and the main Stannis force will camp quietly on the west side of Winterfell ... awaiting a signal from the east side. A diversion force led by Arnolf Karstark is to march on the Eastern gate with the goal of creating as much noises in the blizzard as possible. His goal is to make it look like the main assault will be the eastern gate. Two warhorn blasts from Arnolf will be the signal for the quiet assault on the west. The assault will be delayed for 10 minutes after the warhorns because this move expects Roose to move his troops to the Eastern gate, leaving the Western gate lightly guarded. Tybald tells Roose in this message not to fall for this trick. Now what really happens during battle: The Western gate is heavily guard with Roose in command. Roose expects this gate to be quiet, but wildlings and Stannis forces hiding in the woods and snow storm. He expects to hear a lot of noises and warhorn blasts in the East. He puts Ramsay in charge of the Eastern gate, and acknowledges that Arnold Karstark is leading the decoy, one of his own men. But in reality, there is no one outside at the Western gate lol. At the Eastern gate, under the blanket of the blizzard, Stannis' main force, turned Karstarks and friendly Manderlys arrive. Hidden away, they chant ... "THE NORTH REMEMBERS, WINTER IS COMING, BUT OURS IS THE FURY, AND WE ARE ALREADY HERE!" "THE NORTH REMEMBERS, WINTER IS COMING, BUT OURS IS THE FURY, AND WE ARE ALREADY HERE!" "THE NORTH REMEMBERS, WINTER IS COMING, BUT OURS IS THE FURY, AND WE ARE ALREADY HERE!" All of Winterfell hears this, and Stark friendly forces inside are beginning to change their heart against Roose. Bolton forces become scared, including Roose ... but Roose won't fall for this Eastern ruse, and remains at the fortified Western gate, waiting for 10,000 wildling wall climbers. The chants continue in the East. The drums bang BOOM DOOM BOOM DOOM BOOM DOOM, and the warhorns blast twice AHOOOOOOOO-HOO AHOOOOOOOO-HOO signaling the wildling's goal of the western gate. Roose Bolton holds steady. Back in the East, Arnolf Karstark and Wyman Manderly casually approaches the outer gate. They see and speak to Ramsay, who acknowledges that this Eastern gate was a ruse, and the main attack will be in the West in 10 minutes. Ramsay, thinking Arnolf and Wyman are allies, opens the Eastern gate for them so they can help with the defense in the West. NOPE! After the outer Eastern gate opens, ALL of Stannis' forces charge at the opening. The original plan was to have Roose overload his forces at the wrong Western gate and get the Eastern gate to open without incident. If there was a secondary closed inner gate in the East, Stannis would have to take it down fair and square. But now this is where all the other Chekhov guns play their part. A Bolton messenger is sent from the Eastern gate to Roose to inform him of the current breach. Abel/Mance kills this sucker while he was halfway there. The spearwives attack Bolton forces inside the secondary closed Eastern gate, and opens the final gate (Top Secret Theory!) for Stannis. Lady Dustin and her men goes up to the Winterfell maesters and threatens them to not send raven-messages of this successful breach by Stannis. Roose, still camping at the Western gate, is surprised attacked by the breached forces inside Winterfell. "THE NORTH REMEMBERS, WINTER IS COMING, BUT OURS IS THE FURY, AND WE ARE ALREADY HERE!" is chanted. While Stannis forces engage against the Boltons, Whoresbane Umber and his men starts attacking the Boltons too. Unfortunately, I think the assault will still have major deaths. Whoresbane will die fighting the Boltons. Anyways Winterfell is successfully captured, Roose/Ramsay captured or dead. And the North will remember Stannis for reclaiming Winterfell for the Starks ... and he did it not in a ratty way like Roose did. Stannis did not lead the Boltons into a false sense of security, and attacked. Stannis stroked fear in the heart of his enemies when he inflated his numbers, made powerful chants and noises at the Eastern gate ... and actually attacked the Eastern gate. And now we get Hosteen Frey and his forces returning from their wild goose chase. Winterfell has been taken by the time they arrive. Here we get a funny exchange between Hosteen outside the gate and Wyman Manderly sitting fat on top of the gate. Hosteen Frey, with a decision to either surrender to Wyman, or have his Frey forces go back into the winter in this unfamiliar land ... decides to surrender. Anyways, that is my fan-fic ... Stannis taking Winterfell in a bad-ass way, what a marvel! ... and all of the Chevhok guns addressed. I guess we'll have to wait for TWOW though. Another version of this fan-fic is having Tybald telling Roose that the Freys were defeated, and the wildling took their clothing and supplies. These wildling forces will be dressed in Frey clothing in attempt to get inside Winterfell at the Western gate. Of course there are no wildlings. But in this fan-fic .... Hosteen Frey casually returns back from his wild goose chase ... arrives at the Winterfell gate ... and then the Boltons are shooting arrows at the Freys thinking they are wildling invaders ... ahahahahaha. But I prefer the first fan-fic better since we get an funny exchange in conversation between Wyman and Hosteen. The Freys are humiliated, and Wyman/Stannis will have a hostage in Hosteen.
  7. The Map Guy

    The Stannis Plan and why he wrote the Pink Letter 2.0

    Is this something Stannis would do? It's really below him. Roose/Vargo did something similar at Harrenhal with Amory ... but Roose/Vargo are considered dishonorable rats. Stannis' character arc doesn't involve him being a rat. In this theory, he would take Winterfell in a dishonorable way, and would lure Jon away from his NW vows in a dishonorable way. And besides, Stannis would have to hope that Jon would not get executed for his oathbreaking trying to leaving Castle Black. Like divica said, Stannis can just ask Jon again nicely if he wants it. (We know Jon dun want it) If Stannis took Winterfell and he establishes "Arya Stark" as the future heir, he wouldn't need Jon Snow the bastard. I think that is a resolution that most Northerners would accept until a better resolution arrives ... like a Rickon Stark and Davos.
  8. The Map Guy

    Mel & Shireen

    LOL That is not what I meant ... but since you already created a PL thread about it, i hope everyone is enjoying it What I meant was that we should have a thread about battle tactics for taking Winterfell, under a Stannis POV ... using all the Chekhov Guns GRRM gave us. I think it would be fun to speculate. All of the tactics would be revealed in TWOW anyways. Sorry for the topic confusion. Yes, I favor Mel for the PL and the name confusion of "Reek". I have published her story and I occasionally find new clues here and there ... but we wont stray off topic Back to the OP If the Red Woman wrote the Pink Letter (which SHE falsely states that Stannis is dead), it would be really awkward for Mel to burn Shireen in an attempt to resurrect Stannis. Besides, Mel has Mance's baby son to burn first before Shireen. Even though it is actually Gilly's son & Mel is unaware, it may accidentally work out better that way. Also, I believe Mel doesn't burn Shireen. It will be Patchface burning Shireen alive so she doesn't become a zombie. "Patchface" was originally designed by GRRM to rescue Shireen (because Shireen's face could use a patching!) I believe the Long Night invasion happens at the Nightfort, and Patchface/Shireen will be surrounded by zombies. With a few seconds before their deaths, Patchface burns Shireen alive to rescue her from being a wight ... that seems like a very Patchfacey thing to do. I think this scene will be TWOW epilogue or ADOS prologue. I think this "surrounded by zombies, what do you do?" theme (and themes are important!) will repeat itself with Theon/Asha at Winterfell, Sansa/Sandor at the Moon Door, and Jon & his sister at the Gods Eye. It gives the Long Night an emotional seriousness (that a certain fan-fic lacked!) Post-ASOIAF discussions would be about this theme, and how Jon made the worst decision out of all of them (because he truly knows nothing! lol). Sorry, went a little off topic here
  9. The Map Guy

    Mel & Shireen

    This needs it own thread - Stannis, Winterfell, and GRRM's Chekhov's Gun (Alternative Title: Why the contents of the PL was all false, and why a stupid battle between Jon & Ramsay/Roose won't happen)
  10. The Map Guy

    Mel & Shireen

    Stannis, Mance, Ramsey ... these 3 dudes? Cmon guys, don't be sexist! ... there is another that you haven't mentioned to the newbie! MEL! And its sooo simple ... but its taboo to talk about because it is too simple: Mel wrote the PL to stop Jon from going to Hardhome I know some of you guys are stubborn about opinions you have had for years ... but it is totally acceptable to change your opinions when you receive new information .... like the Paper Curl Theory ... which suggests the Pink Letter was written locally at Castle Black
  11. The Map Guy

    References and Homages

    Spearwives When Squirrel returned, the other four were with her: gaunt grey-haired Myrtle, Willow Witch-Eye with her long black braid, Frenya of the thick waist and enormous breasts, Holly with her knife. Clad as serving girls in layers of drab grey roughspun, they wore brown woolen cloaks lined with white rabbit fur. No swords, Theon saw. No axes, no hammers, no weapons but knives. Holly's cloak was fastened with a silver clasp, and Frenya had a girdle of hempen rope wound about her middle from her hips to breasts. It made her look even more massive than she was. {Theon I ADWD} Be careful now, this may break some hearts:
  12. The Map Guy

    Puns and Wordplay

    Rhaegal kills Quentyn aka Frog Jon kills Janos, who is described like a frog Jojen & Meera Reed are called frog-eaters, which requires killing frogs Hmmmmm ... just some food for thought
  13. Yup. The Targaryen name AND their dragons had weight. Once the dragons were gone, they were just ordinary humans ... and other people started realizing that. Their family and their names were proven ordinary in Robert's Rebellion. But now their name is back in full force as Daenerys Targaryen birthed 3 dragons, and they are still growing.
  14. Of course I know that is a picture of a spear and not a pipe, its just funny because it looks like a pipe. Osha's spear = OSHA's pipe Rickon sobbed and clung to Hodor's leg until OSHA gave him a smack with the butt end of her spear. Then he followed her quick enough. Shaggydog stalked after them. The last Bran saw of them was the direwolf's tail as it vanished behind the broken tower. {Bran VII ACOK} This is secret message, but its perfectly clear to me! Silly George, I know what you are thinking here lol
  15. The Map Guy

    If ASoIaF Characters were Pokemon...

    Size-wise for sure. But Snorlax's specialty is sleep. Every time I think of Craster, I think of this moment lol. Its very Snorlaxy. Craster sprawls in his loft even now, stinking of wine and lost to sense {Jon III ACOK}
  16. Osha - Pipefitter Let me make one thing perfectly clear! ... I think she is holding a pipe in her profile picture: https://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/Osha Even in GoT, she got one good swing at Robb with a pipe! lol
  17. The Map Guy

    If ASoIaF Characters were Pokemon...

    Wow I feel old ... i have no clue what these new classes of Pokemon are Anyways for fun ( since GRRM finds inspiration in pop-culture, even in the most unlikely places *cough cough king ghidorah cough*) Rattleshirt - Cubone https://www.giantbomb.com/cubone/3015-1987/ Oberyn - Arbok https://www.giantbomb.com/arbok/3015-1270/ Hodor - Slowbro https://www.giantbomb.com/slowbro/3015-2160/ Patchface - Mr. Mime https://www.giantbomb.com/mr-mime/3015-1948/ Mel - Jinx https://www.giantbomb.com/jynx/3015-1997/ Craster - Snorlax https://www.giantbomb.com/snorlax/3015-1298/ If we do House sigils ... there are a lot. But I'll just list one: turtles ... because George loves his turtles ... especially the backstabbing ones House Estermont - Squirtle https://www.giantbomb.com/squirtle/3015-1037/ @Is he a ham? I love your username btw. Staring at it, I am now convinced the line "Is he a ham?" in the GoT scene has a double meaning. Ham = Boar Boar = Change in Regime Change in Regime = Targaryen succession ... born amidst salt & smoke
  18. The Map Guy

    Just a Mel and patchface theory

    Hes probably going to defend Shireen by burning her ... you know when the zombies attack the Nightfort and both of them are all surrounded. Burning Shireen alive as a last second resort prevents her from being resurrected as a wight, which the Queen's Men didn't have that luxury a few moments earlier. Now the bigger twist of the scene (probably TWOW epilogue) is what happens to Patchface after he gets killed ... since you know ... hes a drown wight. ... I guess we'll have to wait for TWOW. Also Stannis ain't dead ... yet.
  19. Warning: This post contains links to content with strong language and graphic violence. Viewer discretion is advised. When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. When GRRM gives you lemons, silly people make complicated Lemongate theories. Let us take it easy for a bit. Lemongate: The lemon tree and the red door in Dany's past were never in Braavos because lemon trees do not grow in Braavos! This mean Dany was raised in Dorne! This could be SIGNIFICANT! This could means R+L=D!!!! Seriously, who are these crazy people that think they can redefine the traditional R+L=J theory that stood strong for decades?? Geezz Anti-Lemongate: The lemon tree and red door were in Braavos. The Sealord of Braavos had private gardens or courts that can take care of one single lemon tree. This lemon tree is just a childhood memory and has NO SIGNIFICANT meaning in the future. Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy: The easiest SIGNIFICANT explanation for Dany's lemon tree (a middle-ground for both Lemongate and anti-Lemongate) is that it was brought over by Oberyn Martell as a gift to Viserys and Daenerys when he signed the marriage pact with Ser Willem Darry, in Braavos. Darry, Viserys and Dany were suppose to see this lemon tree everyday in the courtyard as a reminder that they still have allies in Westeros. But Dany was too young to understand, and Viserys would have prematurely sailed to Sunspear if he found out. This childhood heirloom of Daenerys becomes a long lost secret. Dany will eventually spear-head her Westerosi invasion at Sunspear, through the welcoming doors of Dorne and Doran Martell. When Dany and Doran finally meet, Doran would reminisce about Oberyn's mission in Braavos and the lemon tree he brought over. This is where Dany realizes Doran is not lying about the original marriage pact. This lemon tree from her childhood is something only she would know, and it proves Dorne were Targaryen loyalists from the beginning. While Doran kind of forgot to tell Quentyn about Oberyn's lemon tree ... Dany certainly haven't forgotten about hers. This could of changed Quentyn's fate in Meereen. This sound so familiar ... sounds like something from a TV show or a movie ... I think it was a Quentin Tarantino movie. The Forgetting and Forgotten Lemon - Pulp Fiction 1994 In this Tarantino's movie, the character Butch (played by Bruce Willis) just back-stabbed his crime-boss' plan of a rigged boxing match. His betrayal has worked perfectly and he was about to skip town with the money he won from re-rigging the boxing match ... until his girlfriend (nicknamed Lemon Pie) kind of forgot the pack up his golden watch, a childhood heirloom of his. Because she kind of forgot, Bruce Willis' escape plan changes drastically as he attempts to retrieve the watch back from his apartment. And because of sheer luck, all Hell breaks loose ... simply for the watch. Butch kills Vincent Vega, a POV character in the movie (played by John Travolta), with Vincent's own gun. He was a clumsy hitman that was stupid enough to leave his gun in Butch's kitchen while he went to use the toilet. Quentyn Martell was stupid enough to try to steal a dragon and he got himself killed. Vincent's and Quentyn's own plans BACKFIRED on them, resulting in their deaths. Hell, both of them kind of look alike too: https://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/File:Quentyn_Martell_by_henning.jpg https://pulpfiction.fandom.com/wiki/Vincent_Vega Anyways, the point is that a small small small innocent childhood heirloom was simply forgotten, resulting in a drastic change of a plan. If Lemon Pie didn't forget Butch's watch ... Vincent Vega would still be alive, a random lady would not be shot for being a good samaritan, the crime-boss would not have been anal raped, a pawn-shop keeper would not be killed by his own samurai sword, Zed's not dead baby! and Butch would live a life running away from the crime-boss he betrayed. Perhaps if Doran told Quentyn about the Oberyn's lemon tree and not hide it in his ass, Dany wouldn't have questioned the authenticity of the marriage pact. If Quentyn mentions "Lemon Tree" nonchalantly to Daenerys, her little heart would skip a beat like it did when she heard Willem Darry's name ... perhaps changing the story line completely. Who knows ... its up for debate. Well Quentyn's dead, and Dany's destined to meet Doran. I wonder how that conversation would go: Doran: Queen Daenerys, welcome to Dorne! We have been waiting for the Targaryen restoration for many years now. Dany: Many years? You have been loyal for that long? How do I know that is true? Doran: My brother Oberyn signed a marriage pact between our families many years ago in Braavos, with Ser Willem Darry. Dany: Oh yes, Quentyn mentioned the marriage pact, but it could still be fake. Doran: It is real, Oberyn even brought a Dornish lemon tree as a gift to show your family that we were still loyalists. Dany: Sheeeeettttt Dornishman, that is all you had to say! Oh my sweet lemon tree ... you are not lying. No one could have known about that lemon tree. I believe you now. Doran: Thank you my Queen. Speaking of Quentyn, where is he? Dany: I am quite mad at him. He died stealing my dragons. Perhaps if you told him about the lemon tree earlier, I would have offered him a dragon to ride later as a gift for Dorne's loyalty. Doran: Oh no! My son, dead? ... did you bring back his body? Dany: When I pulled up my ships to spear-head my invasion of Westeros at Sunspear, did you notice any of my ships carrying a banner that said "dead Dornishman storage"? Doran: No... Dany: You know why it isn't there? Because storing dead Dornishmen ain't none of my business! That's why! Okay ... that is it ... that is all what Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy is. Now for the Bonus Tarantino Theories ... The Deadly Sand Snakes Assassination Squad - Kill Bill Vol 1. 2003 & Vol. 2 2004 https://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/File:Sand_snakes_by_enife.jpg Elle Driver, California Mountain Snake = Tyene Sand https://killbill.fandom.com/wiki/Elle_Driver https://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/File:Drazenka_Kimpel_TSand.png Poisoners ... seriously George, just give Tyene an eye patch already. O-Ren Ishii, Cottonmouth = O-bara Sand https://killbill.fandom.com/wiki/O-Ren_Ishii https://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/File:AUobarasand.png Even though they do not look alike, they have the same personality. Both are known warriors and are unafraid of an open public war. The other ladies do things behind the scene. Also Mercy = O-Ren Ishii's background story Sofie Fatale = Nymeria Sand https://killbill.fandom.com/wiki/Sofie_Fatale https://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/File:Nymeria_Sand_by_hardcoremiike.jpg She doesn't use weapons or fight in Kill Bill. And GRRM does say this about Nymeria: Nymeria was least dangerous when nearly naked. Elsewise she was sure to have a dozen blades concealed about her person {The Watcher ADWD} Vernita Green, Copperhead = Sarella Sand https://killbill.fandom.com/wiki/Vernita_Green https://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/File:Sarella_Sand_by_Rae_Lavergne.jpg Vernita, an ex-assassin, has adopted the civilian life ... while the other ladies are still playing their dangerous games. Sarella is not playing Obara, Tyene and Nymeria's game of thrones .... or at least not that we know of. Also the Summer Islands skin. I haven't seen Jackie Brown by Quentin Tarantino yet, perhaps I am missing some stuff for Sarella/Alleras. Let me know in the comments! Gogo Yubari = Dorea Sand https://killbill.fandom.com/wiki/Gogo_Yubari https://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/File:Dorea_Sand_by_Joshua_Cairos.jpg Little girls, balls & chains. Dorea bashing at bloody oranges. Gogo trying bash at a lemon-colored-suit-wearing Uma Thurman! Bill, Snake Charmer = Doran Martell https://killbill.fandom.com/wiki/Bill https://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/File:Tommy_Arnold_DoranMartell.jpg I don't need to explain this one about these leaders/master-planners. Bud, Sidewinder = Oberyn Martell, the Red Viper of Dorne https://killbill.fandom.com/wiki/Budd https://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/File:Oberyn_martell_by_bellabergolts.jpg This one is just for fun since they are younger brothers to Bill and Doran. They are two awesome characters anyways. I love Quentin Tarantino soundtracks. I can see Quentyn, our frog prince, dancing with dragons to this song: Silly ribbit, Trix are for ... Arianne's Snitch and the Bloody Oranges - Reservoir Dogs 1992 The moon had crowned the Moonmaid as they set out from the dust-dry ruins of Shandystone, striking south and west. Arianne and Ser Arys took the lead, with Myrcella on a frisky mare between them. Garin followed close behind with Spotted Sylva, whilst her two Dornish knights took the rear. We are seven, Arianne realized as they rode. She had not thought of that before, but it seemed a good omen for their cause. Seven riders on their way to glory. One day the singers will make all of us immortal. {The Queenmaker AFFC} Wow look at them and their cool slow-motion group walk. So confident about their plan ... only to later fall apart, thanks to a snitch within the group. Anyways I cheated. I'll admit it. I used Reservoir Dogs to solve Arianne's snitch and worked backwards on the evidence. The girl was plainly growing tired, so Arianne called a halt. They watered the horses once again, rested for a bit, and had some cheese and fruit. Myrcella split an orange with Spotted Sylva, whilst Garin ate olives and spit the stones at Drey. I won't spoil the movie for those who haven't seen it, but it was the bloody oranges that gave it away. Now the book clues: Ripped oranges can be found in the Water Gardens where Areo Hotah and Doran Martell were earlier in AFFC. Who happened to have some oranges in Arianne's Queenmaking plan? Spotted Sylva This suggests that Sylva was in the Water Gardens with Doran and Areo. Sylva doesn't want Arianne's plan to succeed. As Ser Arys helped her from the saddle, Drey went to one knee before her. "Your Grace." "My lady liege." Spotted Sylva knelt beside him. "My queen, I am your man." Garin dropped to both knees. [...] [...] "And the riders," Spotted Sylva said. "Come, Your Grace, warm yourself. I should be honored if you'd let me serve you." Sylva doesn't address Myrcella as a queen initially, until later when she corrects herself. Why would Sylva be a snitch? Well she is a Santagar. Do we know any other Santagars? Aron Santagar, died in the King's Landing riots after Myrcella Baratheon was shipped to Dorne. Even the Santagar sigil has a leopard holding an axe. https://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/House_Santagar leopard ~ cheetah = "cheater" axe = Areo's axe What is the relationship between Aron and Syvla? We don't know ... but would it be enough to conspire against Myrcella? For this theory, lets assume yes. Sylva disapproves of Arianne's plan and informs Doran Martell. Doran lets it play out ... and it's for an awesome reason ... the real Dornish Master Plan. Prince Doran took a jagged breath. "Dorne still has friends at court. Friends who tell us things we were not meant to know. {The Watcher ADWD} After Sylva snitched, what was her 'punishment'? She is betrothed to Lord Eldon of Estermont. Are the Estermonts one of Doran's friends at court? Do they hate the Lannisters too? Well Lord Eldon is Stannis' uncle or great uncle. But I guess we'll have to wait and see if they play a role or not. "Eldon Estermont has taken a wife fifty years his junior," [Cersei] said to Qyburn. "Why should that concern me?" He shrugged. "I do not say it should . . . but Daemon Sand and this Santagar girl were both close to Prince Doran's own daughter, Arianne, or so the Dornishmen would have us believe. Perhaps it means little or less, but I thought Your Grace should know." (Are you trying to tell us something George? Is this foreshadowing?) "Now I do." She was losing patience. "Do you have more [other news]?" {Cersei V AFFC} Besides, Lord Eldon is old and has established heirs. After he dies, Sylva is free to re-marry while she is still young. Sylva is not really punished that badly. Anyways Andrey Dalt and Garin the Orphan are not the snitches. They were sent to Essos as punishment for executing Arianne's plan. But was it really a punishment? The Martinesque Story ... no not George but Scorsese ... and no not really Scorsese either: After Arianne's failed queenmaking plan: Arys Oakheart is dead trying to play hero, not get imprisoned for his Kingsguard oath-breaking, or trying to impress Arianne ... blah blah blah ... who knows why he charged at Areo. Darkstar disappears after slicing Myrcella's face and ear Arianne, Doran's own daughter, is gently punished Sylva stays in Westeros Andrey is sent to Essos Garin is sent to Essos According to Doran, Sylva has proven herself to be a rat. She may be his rat, but in a way he cannot fully trust her. Doran uses Sylva in AFFC and will use her again in the future TWOW/ADOS schemes ... if she is needed. But he will keep Sylva in the dark about plans she doesn't need to know about. The goal of letting Arianne's plan play out is to filter out true Dornish loyalists ... Darkstar bails out, Arys is dead, Sylva snitched ... BUT Andrey and Garin followed through. Andrey and Garin have proven themselves to be trustworthy in executing plans on behalf of Dorne's interest. Doran sends them to Essos as Dornish spies to help facilitate Daenerys' invasion of Westeroes when the time comes. This kind of sounds like the plot of Martin Scorsese's The Departed 2006. Wait a minute, AFFC was in 2005, The Departed was 2006. It doesn't make sense! Well The Departed was based on the Hong Kong movie Infernal Affairs 2002. The characters played by actors Andy Lau and Gordon Lam are Triad gang-members, sent to infiltrate the Hong Kong police force as official full-time police officers. They may be behind the names Andrey and Garin the Orphan, our future Dornish secret agents in Essos. Doran, what a joker ... letting Arianne execute her plan for days, even after Sylva ratted them out. Stuck in the middle is Darkstar - Reservoir Dogs 1992 What can I say? The most dangerous man in Dorne, stuck in middle of the two: Arianne Martell and the Queenmakers Areo Hotah and Doran Martell's men Gerold Dayne ... what were you thinking? And why did you slice Myrcella's face and ear off? Perhaps Mr. Blonde can explain: And what happened Myrcella's ear afterwards? Was it thrown away? Did they keep it? Did anyone hear anything? Did you hear anything Myrcella? Anyways, that is one catchy song at the 3:01 mark isn't it? The song is called Stuck In the Middle With You by Stealer Wheels. The vocals you are hearing is sang by Gerald "Gerry" Rafferty ... what a perfect anthem for Gerold "Darkstar" Dayne's situation! Gerald Darkstar singing: Well I don't know why I came here tonight, I got the feeling that something ain't right, I'm so scared in case I fall off my mare, And I'm wondering how I'll get away from here, Arianne's clowns to the left of me, Doran's jokers to the right, here I am, Stuck in the middle with Myrcella Yes I'm stuck in the middle with you, And I'm wondering what it is I should do, It's so hard to keep this smile on my face, Losing control, yeah, I'm all over the place, Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, Here I am, stuck in the middle with you Well I started out with nothing, And I'm proud that I'm a self made Dayne, And your friends, they all come laughing, Slap you on the back and say, Please .... Gerold, you are NOT Arthur! ... please! "My House goes back ten thousand years, unto the dawn of days," [Darkstar] complained. "Why is it that my cousin [Arthur] is the only Dayne that anyone remembers?" {The Queenmaker AFFC} Also don't worry about the police officer in that torture scene, that is not actual gasoline that Mr. Blonde is pouring on the cop. It is only a movie! Its probably just drinking water. The Interchangeable Basterds - Inglourious Basterds 2009 Ser Archibald Yronwood is British Intelligence Secret Agent Lt. Archibald "Archie" Hicox, but his physical description is a bald version of the Basterd's Bear Jew. "Archibald" is a funny one GRRM created: an big bald American Jew mixed with a German-speaking Brit. So what else did GRRM mix up? Ser William WELLs is Cpl. WilhELm Wicki, but the freckles and crooked teeth are probably British General Ed Fenech's, played by actor Mike Myers (Austin Powers!). Ser cLETUS Yronwood sounds like Sgt. Hugo StigLITZ, but Cletus has Wilhelm Wicki's lazy eye, played by actor Gedeon Burkhard. https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0121972/mediaviewer/rm4257384704 Cpl. Wilhelm Wicki ... Lt. Archibald Hicox ... Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz ... hiding their identities, pretending to be German soldiers. William ... Archibald ... Cletus ... hiding their Dornish identities in Essos, even hiding it to their deaths. You guys had enough of Tarantino for one read? Eh, I'll throw in one more for fun. Undesirable Aliases - Reservoir Dogs 1992 In Dorne Quentyn Martell had been a prince, in Volantis a merchant's man, but on the shores of Slaver's Bay he was only Frog, squire to the big bald Dornish knight the sellswords called Greenguts. The men of the Windblown used what names they would, and changed them at a whim. They'd fastened Frog on him because he hopped so fast when the big man shouted a command. Even the commander of the Windblown kept his true name to himself. Some free companies had been born during the century of blood and chaos that had followed the Doom of Valyria. Others had been formed yesterday and would be gone upon the morrow. The Windblown went back thirty years, and had known but one commander, the soft-spoken, sad-eyed Pentoshi nobleman called the Tattered Prince. His hair and mail were silver-grey, but his ragged cloak was made of twists of cloth of many colors, blue and grey and purple, red and gold and green, magenta and vermilion and cerulean, all faded by the sun. {The Windblown ADWD} One of my favorite screens in the movie. Why am I Mr. Pink? I hope you guys enjoyed my post! So which lemon tree theory will you choose now? We have Lemongate Extremists: Dany was raised in Dorne ...... Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy: Braavosi Lemon Tree was a gift from Dorne ...... or Lemon Tree Conservatives: Braavosi Lemon Tree has no futuristic value and we insult Lemongaters all day! Well I got clowns to the left of me, jokers to right ... but here I am with this middle ground theory for you!
  20. The Map Guy

    Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy - A Quentyn Tarantino Theory

    Oops sorry. With all the talks of the lemon tree, I kind of forgot about the red door. Don't worry I certainly haven't forgotten about that! Oberyn Martell brought over the lemon tree to Braavos. Oberyn Nymeros Martell is called the RED Viper of DORne Red Door = Red ... Dor... For you book-only readers, according to GRRM ... 'dor' = door Trust me on this one, I have insider information
  21. The Map Guy

    Is the hound Sansa's 'new direwolf'?

    Sandor = Sansa's direwolf Sandor = Sansa's dog Sandor = Sansa's Door Perhaps the Moon Door ... someone is flying out of that tower, or two ... Yes. And no. And yes. And no ...
  22. Ha! Nice try! I just think the newer Sub Press Fire & Blood with it's cover has a neat Easter Egg to the finale of ADOS & ASOIAF. It may be the most expensive ASOIAF book if George autographs it ... and then another special someone autographs it too. Spoiler Alert: Potential ending to ASOIAF I just figure someone like you @Daendrew would like this in your collection.
  23. What is this about? @Daendrew Knowing you so far, you probably are one of the guys that picked up one the sold-out 52 limited edition Sub Press Fire & Blood for $1,000 right? Just taking a guess lol https://subterraneanpress.com/all-books/preorders/fire-blood
  24. Nice. And if autographed by GRRM himself, how much do you think it will be worth? What is the most expensive ASOIAF book anyways? I would assume an autograph is required too
  25. The Map Guy

    Do you like Feast and Dance?

    I'll take this advice when I reach AFFC on my current re-read. Sounds fun