Plain, Simple Tailor

“Goldenhand the Just”. Jaime’s not a smart Lannister, so this is the best he can do when coming up with a RADICAL nickname. I find it incredible. I just imagine him saving villagers and calling himself that, and the villagers immediately laughing, causing Jaime to return to evil

His job was to be Tyrion’s best friend, even though Tyrion got him killed. Varys was head of the Tyrion Fan Club, he certainly wasn’t just using him as a pawn in a game to install a false monarch on the throne, that would be stupid hahahaha

D&D: Haha! It’s funny because he’s mutilated!

I mean, given how the story has gone, they’re all probably going to suffer horribly by the end, so if you really despise them...

“Who has the best story?” Yeah, Bran’s story was SO GOOD that the show wrote him out for two seasons

As for Daenerys, you can pretend it was foreshadowed. The only foreshadowing for her heel-turn was that Benioff and Weiss are sexist. We should have known that they would turn the main female character into a cRaZy LaDy that needs to be put down by the male protagonist.

In comparison to the books, who did the show most heinously misinterpret? It’s so hard. I hate the removal of abuse and toxic masculinity from Sam’s backstory. And he can only be truly brave once he beats rapists off of Gilly and kills an Other. It’s just such shit. The same applies to Theon, who got majorly screwed over by the sausage breakfast scene and the fact that they took away all the physical elements of his torture aside from the obvious. Plus, adding Sansa to his arc diverts it from him. The whole point of Jeyne was emphasizing the loss of innocence of Winterfell and the idea of identity. Tyrion got screwed over too, and so did Peter Dinklage. Dinklage could have been so brilliant in the story of a dwarf whose internalized ableism and inferiority complex slowly turn him into the monster everyone thought that he was. But instead we get Tyrion the Goodest Mensch. I have to give a shout out to Varys, who essentially sat around doing nothing for 8 years. By removing Aegon, they removed the entire point of his character. And then there’s Littlefinger, who had a mix of horrible acting and terrible writing. This isn't even getting into what they did to all of the female characters. They just didn't get Catelyn or Sansa, and saw both of their feminine aspects as weaknesses that had to be fixed rather than being what made them strong. UUUUGGGHHH, there are so many. Also Barristan. Jesus, those guys are jerks. Oh god, Stannis, who they literally killed off because THEY STRAIGHT UP DIDN’T LIKE HIS CHARACTER. There are so many.

1. ???? 2. Male 3. Samwell Tarly 4. Um...GRRM is great at making hateable characters, so I’ll just list a character I think is kind of dull - Hizdahr or, like, Victarion.

Shitmouth.

Yup, that was what I forgot.

I'm making my way through the Dreamsongs collections to fill that ASOIAF-sized hole in my heart, and I wanted to see everyone's opinions on what they think the best GRRM short stories are. Right now, out of the ones I've read, my favorites are (in no particular order) The Second Kind of Loneliness, Nightflyers, The Lonely Songs of Laren Dorr, With Morning Comes Mistfall, and his Twilight Zone script, "The Road Less Traveled". (I haven't read Sandkings yet, so it's not on the list) EDIT: Oh my god, I completely forgot about The Ways of Cross and Dragon, which I adored when I read it.

What things/events are you most looking forward to seeing in TWOW? For me, in no particular order: The Battle of Winterfell Sam at Oldtown/Sam's dynamic with his family Cersei's trial Jaime, Brienne, and Stoneheart - that whole thing Davos at Skagos with Rickon and Osha I'm probably forgetting something here

I feel like it could be this one.

Victarion Greyjoy - Nick Offerman (I know it sounds terrible, but think of how Ron Swanson-y his kings moot speech is. It's literally just: "If you liked what Balon was doing, then...uh...I'll give you more of the same. I guess. Vote me. Maybe.") Jon Connington - Gary Oldman Wyman Manderly - John Goodman

Oh god