Plain, Simple Tailor

Let’s hope so. Sorry if I was dismissive in any way.

GRRM wouldn't leave out a detail like that. Plus, seems like Jon's parentage would be one of the high notes - it's a pretty central mystery. I hate the sh*w, but I'm just saying here. Also, as I said before, it only seems too obvious because the fandom guessed it in the 90's. Saying that's too obvious is like saying the Author of the Journals' identity in Gravity Falls was too obvious because fans were able to guess it. Maybe GRRM thought it was the most satisfying when he wrote it in 1996, that doesn't change because people guessed it. Sometimes the best answer isn't the one that's the most obscure and out of nowhere, it's the one that's the most satisfying.

....or it’s just that Rhaegar and Lyanna had Jon, meaning Robert’s rebellion was built on a lie, and now Ned takes care of Jon after Lyanna’s death and lies to everyone about it because of Robert’s hatred of Targs and dedication to murdering all of them, so Ned is perpetually haunted by his lie. Guys and gals, this is the one that makes sense. We only think it’s “too obvious” because we’re the internet, and we figure things out quickly. Also, as much as I hate to use the sh*w as evidence...if they were going to change something, it wouldn’t be this. This is literally the thing George asked them to give them the sh*w, and they wouldn’t just change it. But I do love this theory, even though it’s tinfoil.

Noticed this as well when I read it.

“Goldenhand the Just”. Jaime’s not a smart Lannister, so this is the best he can do when coming up with a RADICAL nickname. I find it incredible. I just imagine him saving villagers and calling himself that, and the villagers immediately laughing, causing Jaime to return to evil

Quentyn existed as a deconstruction of an archetypical fantasy protagonist’s journey. And no other arc for Brienne would have allowed her to meet Lady Stoneheart, which will play into both her and Jaime’s arcs. Rhaegar died because GRRM had an idea for a story and that was part of the backstory. George isn’t an anarchist writer who doesn’t care. He’s a writer who carefully and painstakingly ties everything back to the themes. If he literally just shoved his themes to the side and completely didn’t care, then he would be a bad writer. And George, clearly, is not.

His job was to be Tyrion’s best friend, even though Tyrion got him killed. Varys was head of the Tyrion Fan Club, he certainly wasn’t just using him as a pawn in a game to install a false monarch on the throne, that would be stupid hahahaha

You do realize Martin regularly talks about the themes of his books, right? And Brienne is only on that quest because she has to deal with her emotional baggage, WHICH TIES INTO THE THEMES The reason why Rhaegar died is because the story had to happen. That’s why writers do things. Because the story has to happen.

D&D: Haha! It’s funny because he’s mutilated!

But the characters exist in Martin-world. They tie into the themes because...that’s what stories are.

I see a lot of theories about Jon’s parents. A lot. Ashara and Ned, Benjen and Lyanna, Ned and Lyanna... I think we’re missing the point. There’s a reason why R+L=J exists. It’s not pointless. It is literally the entire motivation for Ned’s character. Ned’s character makes no sense without it. What would Ned just having a kid with Ashara do for the story? How does that tie into the themes? How is that motivation for the character? That’s what good theories are. Stuff that ties into everything, that clears it up, that enhances the theme. Stuff like N+A=J or B+L=J is just contrarian bullshit trying to capture the initial spark of the theories that actually make sense.

There’s this thing called “show don’t tell”, y’see...

I want Theon to live and return back home with a hero’s welcome. Yes, he’s a toxically masculine asshole murderer, but Theon has suffered enough.

Seriously. Why do people like this character? Why does he exist? We are constantly told that Darkstar is THE MOST DANGEROUS MAN IN DORNE, but we never see him actually do anything. He has a sword he barely uses, he’s just kind of a dick, and he tries to kill a defenseless child - what here makes him interesting? WHY DOES HE EXIST (oh, and please don’t say it’s because Jon’s mom is Ashara Dayne, if the sh*w was going to change one thing, it wouldn’t have been the central mystery of the series)

I mean, given how the story has gone, they’re all probably going to suffer horribly by the end, so if you really despise them...