[Book Spoilers] EP409 Discussion in E09: The Watchers on the Wall Posted June 10, 2014 · Edited June 10, 2014 by Pallantides Very nice my good ser!! I take it you are a musician as well? It was brilliant, & the only thing I'd change would be on the last part..."The horn that wakes the sleepers, the shield that guards the realms of men."It flows a tad better if it ends on "...guards the realms" IMO, 'of mens' breaks up the flow a bit, as well as the very last line, I think it sounds good but make it'and the gate was held. But its awesome either way!Thanks for the compliment and critique. I'm not really a musician (I do play guitar and drums occasionally), but this was the first time I've ever really written anything like that (I used to write Haikus, but that's not been for a long time or even in the same vein).I agree with you in regards to the flow. I think it feels better with your suggestion. Though the "He held the gate" part was an homage to Jon's line. Reading it again, I think I could probably arrange the last line as this:They were the sword in the darkness and the watcher on the walls,the fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn.The horn that wakes the sleepers, the shield that guards the realms of.And forever will we remember how these six brave men passed on.And just end it there.