You must be an... interesting person to watch television shows with.
Quentin, Julia, Penny Alice, Margot and Eliot don't remember their 39 previous deaths. They know OF the time loop because Quentin informed them, after he truth serumed it out of the Dean, but they don't have any personal memory of it. The comments made by the Brakebills students about it being unpleasant to die were the result of them experiencing their own deaths via the "probability magic" they cast - not because they were remembering their prior time loops. Based on what we've seen in the show, only beings of great magical power can actually remember the past time loops - The Beast seems to remember the prior loops, as does Ember. The Dean seems to have some remembrance of the prior loops as well, judging by his reference to the number of times that Quentin has slipped him truth serum (you'd think he would be a little more cautious at this point).
In the prior timelines, Julia got into Brakebills. There's no reason to believe that she joined the hedges in summoning Reynard in the prior timelines, because her not getting into Brakebills was the whole reason she went down the hedge path and tried to summon a goddess. To the best of the information we have, she never had a mind block put into place on her, because she never summoned Reynard in the prior timelines because she had always gotten into Brakebills.
There is no indication that any of the Brakebills students or Julia have any retained memories of the prior time loops. In fact, there's plenty of evidence otherwise - Quentin and Julia end up having to re-learn magic all over again each time, and they start out as total beginners.
I admit - nobody knows exactly why Ember said that usually Quentin had killed Julia by this point. He might mean that he personally killed her. He might mean that he had gotten Julia killed. I admit that it's a mystery. But other than that one concession, I think you are misreading the show pretty significantly.