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About ants

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    A Valiant Knight of the Fur!
  • Birthday 07/17/1978

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    Melbourne, Australia

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  1. ants


    Now I know you're EVIL!!!!!
  2. ants

    The Gallows Humor Thread

    I'm in Australia remember! They're coming out about mid-day/early afternoon in Australia, and we're about 10 hours ahead of Europe and 16-18 hours ahead of the USA.
  3. ants

    The Gallows Humor Thread

    Tuesday's: With much fanfare we welcome Botswana to the leaderboard today. They are the 200th nation on the leaderboard. It has been a couple of days since a nation last joined, so we are very pleased that our new recruitment drive has worked. The Republic of Belarus has joined the “Over 100” club today with a very impressive 62% increase in cases taking their total up to 152. This catapults them into the top 100 nations. Also Georgia have crept in with a 13% increase bringing their total to 103. Joining the “Millennial” club today is the Republic of Panama with a 9% increase, taking their total cases up to 1039. It is the first of the Central American countries to gain entry to the club, with Costa Rica its closest rival on 330 cases. It also beat Mexico into the club, a clear indicator that this virus travels by cruise ship much more readily than it does by road. Checking performance against the STREWTH 20/1000 INDEX™️, and their 27 no-longer-participants indicates that there has been some under-testing. As such, there is an easy improvement in performance for them that could see them move strongly up the chart. To the top of the leaderboard and China are off the podium. Spain, demonstrating serious commitment, have put together a 10% increase and now hold the bronze coffin position. They are eyeing off Italy in 2nd, who have somewhat slowed and only produced a 4% increase yesterday. However Spain are pushing very hard to achieve these targets, losing 913 participants overnight. This falls just 6 short of Italy's record of 919. Still at the top of the leaderboard, and the Netherlands lose their newly acquired 10th spot as Belgium stump up a 10% increase to dislodge them. These two neighbouring countries have been in a great tussle. However, they both need to keep an eye out for Turkey, who have managed a 17% increase overnight and are now just 1072 cases short of 10th position. The USA have added over 20000 new cases overnight. A 14% increase which sees them 62000 cases clear of 2nd place. New York alone is every chance of recording a higher number of total cases than China in 3 days time. While they have the 2nd lowest disposal efficiency inside the top 10, having lost 3156 participants in the course of achieving their 163844 total cases for a 1.9% disposal efficiency (only Germany is better), it does still appear as if they have gone too hard at allowing this virus to spread. The wave is coming. The “Most Non-Improved” award today goes to the India. A 22% increase in cases is sufficient to give the Millennium club member the award today. There were plenty of contenders, however the level of momentum given their 40th position on the leaderboard warranted the nod. Certainly a potential sleeping giant, although their results have seemed quite subdued to date. In Australia, and we have registered a 7% increase today. We move back up to 19th position as Norway slides down from 17th position yesterday.
  4. ants

    The Gallows Humor Thread

    Mondays: Daily Update : There are no new additions to the leaderboard today. We might have to reassess our recruitment criteria. In addition, we have one nation that has previously participated, but now has no active cases. We shall need to make contact with St Vincent and the Grenadines, and perform an exit interview. Entering the “Over 100” club include Channel Islands (11%), Nigeria (14%) and Honduras (16%). Finally Cambodia have hit the boundary and add 4 cases to reach 103 in total. Storming into the club are Cameroon who have added 48 cases overnight for a 53% increase. Joining the “Millennial” club are India with a very small 4% increase, and Iceland with a slightly larger 6% increase. To the top of the leaderboard and there has been no change overnight. The countries with the greatest momentum out of this group are USA carrying 15% momentum, the UK 14% and Netherlands 11%. The rest of the top 10 remain under 10%. Spain is experiencing the greatest loss of experience, sadly with a further 821 no-longer-participants overnight, and is expected to make its way into the main competitions medals tomorrow at the expense of China. Belgium (18%) fell 30 cases short of taking the 10th place off the Netherlands. The USA is now 44000 cases in front of 2nd place. The “Most Non-Improved” award today goes to the Philippines. Everything was pretty quiet overnight, and so a 32% increase taking their total to 1418 cases was sufficient to take home the award. They now hold 34th spot. Turkey presented strongly again with a 24% increase, as did Romania with 25%. Also of note that Qatar has now been eliminated from the Domino competition. The lead would have fallen to New Zealand, but they also stumbled. The leader is now Latvia with 347 cases, no losses. In Australia, and we have registered a disappointing 14% today. This is above our previous two days efforts. We slide down to 20th position as Israel posts a 17% increase to move past us. We haven’t heard much from Israel, but they always seem to be in the background of world events somehow or other.
  5. ants

    The Gallows Humor Thread

    Been a bit lax copying these across as I stayed off line for a few days. Spending too much time reading on COVID19... . Sunday's (AEDT) below. Daily Update : There are no new additions to the leaderboard today. 199 countries and territories are on the leaderboard at present. That is about 7 less than competed in the 2016 Rio Olympics and about 199 more than will compete in the 2020 Tokyo Olympics. Entering the “Over 100” club include Mauritius, Guadeloupe and Uzbekistan. The most impressive entrant though was Cuba with a 49% increase in cases in the past 24 hours. You will note, still no Cambodia. The nervous nineties for them, still on 99. Joining the “Millennial” club are Greece carrying 11% momentum, and the Philippines with 34% momentum. While the Philippines may never become a significant player in the overall standings, they have good form with no-longer-participants that would see them in 19th spot. Indonesia is another country who are performing a similar way. To the top of the leaderboard and we have a new entrant into the Top 10. It is the Netherlands that has pushed S Korea out. A 13% increase sufficient to finally achieve that goal. We shall let them have the accolades today, though Belgium (25%) and perhaps Turkey (30%) are coming with a rush to argue the point. The USA though is outpacing the competition. It is very difficult to see where a competitor will arise from. I thought it might be worth providing some idea of the level of commitment this country is devoting. All 50 states are participating. More than that, each state is actively participating adding cases in the past 24 hours. The least number of cases in total is South Dakota with 68 cases. That is more than 85 nations in the main competition. At the top end and New York is doing the heavy lifting with 53393 cases, which (if we remove the USA) would have it in 5th place overall behind only the big guns in Italy, Spain, Germany and the flagging China. New Jersey 9th, California 15th, with Florida, Massachusetts, Washington and Michigan all carrying more total cases than Australia. They are now 31000 cases in front of anyone else, and climbing. The “Most Non-Improved” award today goes to make benefit glorious nation of Kazakhstan. An impressive 52% increase in cases today saw their 150 cases turn into 228 cases overnight. In Australia, and we can only stump up a 8% increase today. We maintain 19th, and hold our breath for a week to see what the results of the Queensland election are.
  6. ants

    US Politics: Get Tested or Get Bested

    Ok, I have two responses to this. 1. FUCK! 2. How the fuck do the Democrats keep doing this to themselves?
  7. ants

    UK Politics: Life in the Johnsonian Dystopia

    Um, isn't that why everyone who becomes a journalist does so?
  8. ants

    Who Pays the Coronaman? - Covid #8

    A good video by an Australian doctor explaining things. Very moving. https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10158672694824363&id=652904362
  9. ants

    The Gallows Humor Thread

    Daily Update : They do say that any publicity is good publicity, but perhaps that doesn’t apply during a worldwide pandemic. Never-the-less we welcome to the leaderboard the MS Zaandam. Clearly jealous that Princess cruise lines have been getting the majority of focus, Holland America have made a bold play and entered the competition. The boat, christened in 2000 by Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen (seriously) carries 1243 guests, 586 crew and 8 medical staff. The ship, which departed on its cruise on March 7th, has recorded this morning 138 cases, and 4 deaths, and noted that none of the ports on their route are open to cruise ships. You can’t make this stuff up. Edit: just before release this has been dropped to 2 cases 0 deaths. Everyone else must just be “flu-like” symptoms. Sure. Others entering the “Over 100” club include Ivory Coast and Afghanistan. Cambodia started the day on 98, but only made it to 99 by the end of the day. Maybe tomorrow… tomorrow… it’s only a day away (damn you @ivan) Joining the “Millennial” club are Russia with a strong 20% increase, and Finland with a weaker 9% increase. Also Indonesia have perhaps belatedly reached this mark. Their 87 no-longer-participants is extremely high given their 36th position on the ladder, and instead would better match a country in the top 15. In addition South Africa rocket into the club with a 26% increase. Unfortunately they have fallen agonisingly short of reaching the mark without the loss of a participant. This eliminates them from the Dominoes competition, and our new leader is Qatar with 562 cases. To the top of the leaderboard and heaps has happened. The USA has clicked over into 6 figures. They are now some 16000 cases clear of 2nd. That number alone would have them ahead of the UK in 8th. But never fear, Trump who hid the problem, will now force General Motors to fix the problem, so that when the people become aware of the problem, General Motors can be blamed for not doing enough to solve the problem. You just know it’s going to happen. Other events happening up the top and Italy move into silver coffin spot, overtaking China. They lost 919 participants yesterday in a truly frightening display. I do still think they have slowed momentum, although how anyone could focus on that today I do not know. France have moved into 6th spot ahead of Iran. The UK have moved into 8th place ahead of Switzerland. The “Most Non-Improved” award today goes to Turkey… again. Booooorinnnnng. Another 57% increase, taking them up to 5698 cases. The only country close was the Ukraine who managed a similar percentage increase off a far lower base. It is now difficult for Turkey to climb the leaderboard. The other countries have serious numbers and a good head start, but I expect them to hit the top 10 shortly. They also face more headwinds as they have finally shut down their international airports. So when you sit back and think, gee weren’t we slow in closing things down… we at least reacted quicker than Turkey. There is a marketing slogan for you Prime Minister. In Australia, and we can only stump up a 10% increase today. That wasn’t enough to hold off Brazil who move past us and take the Southern Hemisphere lead. We now sit in 19th, and I think the powers that be would be quietly happy with the numbers of the last 24 hours. But never fear, Queensland is here to save the day. What greater opportunity to spread a virus then a mandatory election. Again, you can’t make this stuff up.
  10. ants

    The Gallows Humor Thread

    Daily Update : We have a new world leader. Pushing yesterdays scandal aside the USA has made a spectacular move to the top of the leaderboard. Not only did they round up Italy in silver position, but they also overtook China who have the longest history with the virus. China has held the lead for 116 days, but no longer. The USA are already over 4000 cases clear of 2nd place, with no sign of letting up. We welcome to the leaderboard Anguilla. I’m sure the 17000 residents of this British territory in the Caribbean are delighted to have begun their journey in this competition. We wish them all the best. The “Over 100” club is very popular today. Senegal (6%) and Oman (10%) both just missed out yesterday finishing on 99 total cases, but have crept over the line today. Also joining them are Azerbaijan with a 31% increase in total cases, and Kazakhstan with a 39% increase. However it is Ghana that has made the most impressive entrance with a 94% increase, having added 64 new cases to yesterdays 68 cases. The ”Millennial” club welcomes Thailand with a 11% increase in cases. Saudi Arabia takes some time out of their efforts to tank the oil price with a 12% increase. And Romania with a 13% increase. To the top of the table, and now that the USA has claimed the lead, the interest moves to the pack trying to chase down S Korea’s 10th spot. It is a fine battle for position. South Korea currently have 9241 cases, but just like Ahn Hyun-soo in that famous race in February 2002, they have lost their edge and we wait to see who will skate past them. Netherlands currently sit 11th and has a total of 7431 cases with 16% case increase momentum. In 12th place is Austria with a total of 6909 cases and 24% momentum. As a longshot, perhaps even Belgium with 6235 cases and 26% momentum isn’t without a chance. The “Most Non-Improved” award today goes to Turkey… again. Turkey started the day in 20th position with 2433 cases. They finished it in 15th position and 3629 cases. The 49% increase swept them past Portugal, Norway, Brazil, Sweden and Australia. I cannot understate how impressive that effort is. It is difficult to not talk of Spain today. Their strong performance of 8271 new cases, is second only behind the USA. They are carrying 16% momentum, but it has come at the cost of 718 participants. That is a world high loss of participants today. However the title of strongest performer in Europe is being hotly contested. Germany have 17% momentum and continue to do it with excellent efficiency, comparatively losing few participants. The UK will claim/whinge that they deserve top billing today with 22% increase in cases. In Australia, and we fall to 18th today, having been given windburn by Turkey as they rocketed past. We carry a low 14% momentum, adding another 374 new cases bring us up to 3050 cases.
  11. ants

    The Gallows Humor Thread

    Daily Update : An extraordinary scandal has broken out today. Cheating allegations are being raised against the USA. Nations are protesting the validity of the tactics being used by the country as it rolls its way towards the top of the leaderboard. Seemingly unsatisfied with its current performance levels the USA has wiped a number of territories from the board and absorbed their participants into the USA transmission machine. This loss of individual identity for these territories has reportedly possibly upset Greta Thunberg, whose name we use because it seems to generate clicks. As such, we say goodbye to Puerto Rico, Guam, and the US Virgin Islands at this stage of the competition, and wish their participants all the very best as they get on with it under the banner of the US of A. However the competition rages on, and today we welcome to the leaderboard the African nations of Guinea-Bissau and Mali, as well as the island nations of Saint Kitts & Nevis, and the British Virgin Isles. We welcome Venezuela (26%) and Reunion Island (18%) to the “Over 100” club today. Reunion Island has climbed up to 88th position, adding 17 new cases for a total of 111. The country was an early adopter of the “stop the boats” mantra, showing the world how a couple of guys and a few rocks could turn back the unleashing of a horde of grey-haired carriers. It is suspected that this will be used as inspiration as the boats dock on Rottnest Island, to be faced by the Quokkas with Rockets. A submission has been made to Dana Lyons exhorting him to add an additional verse to his popular folk song in order to adequately memorialise this courageous Quokka stand. The ”Millennial” club welcomes Pakistan (9%), Poland (16%) and Chile (24%). To the top of the table, and momentum is proving difficult to maintain. All of the top 10 countries have recorded an increase in total cases of less than 20% in the past 24 hours, excluding the USA who scraped over with 20.4%. Never-the-less the UK (18%) has enough happening to move into 9th place past S Korea (1%). It does now appear as if Austria (6%) has slowed in its bid to enter the top 10, and Netherlands (15%) now threatens as most likely to push S Korea out of the top nations. The “Most Non-Improved” award today goes to Russia. With an additional 163 cases in the past 24 hours, they have taken their total to 658 cases, an increase of 33%. Still a long way down the leaderboard in 40th position, but their ambition can never be doubted. Turkey were very close again. Another 30% increase from them as they climb into the top 20, having come from a long way back. New Zealand put in another strong effort with 38%, but off a lower base. Thought it was worth taking a look at Italy today. The market darling does appear to be losing its shine. While still putting up 5210 cases, that is only 3rd best in the world, and a meagre 7.5% increase. Over the past week Italy has posted higher numbers then that 5 times. This is not a sign of a country that is going to continue to outperform. Although it will likely still have sufficient momentum to pass China, it may never reach top spot as the USA looks set to swamp them just as they reach that milestone. Why has this slowdown in performance occurred? The best answer at this time is that it comes down to an increasing loss of experience. In Australia, and we are up by 15% in the past 24 hours. Another 359 cases bringing us up to 2676. We maintain 17th spot.
  12. ants

    Dramatic Instrumental Music

    Thanks for the suggestions. Added a number of songs by Two Steps from Hell yesterday, will check out some of the others today. Just to be clear, the issue isn't getting the music (I have a premium spotify account), its finding more good music of the style I want.
  13. ants

    The Gallows Humor Thread

    Why aren't my pictures working? They work when I copy them in, but not when I save/submit the message.
  14. ants


    I've definitely increased my "hoard" in the last few weeks. I've filled my freezer with frozen meals (nobody was buying them anyway) and frozen vegies, and I have a big bag of rice and some pasta/noodles. Some canned veg as well, and a roast beef stuck in the freezer. I plan to just leave that all untouched and keep buying fresh (mostly) food and cooking that. So in a sense it is a hoard, or a safety net.