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RhaenysBee

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Posts posted by RhaenysBee

  1. Let’s talk about imposter syndrome in fancy shops. Aka, let me moan about feeling socially awkward and completely out of place in shops with five employees and literally no customers and floors that are cleaner than my contact lenses. 

    the feeling I get is somewhere between Pretty Woman shopping trip and Mr Bean gift wrapping the Cartier necklace for Alan Rickman. And like these people aren’t rude or anything, if anything they are artificially too polite. I don’t struggle so much when the employees aren’t Hungarian, they are more friendly and less judgmental and I feel more comfortable speaking English because that somehow gives us something in common. And I mean, you have every reason to judge me per se, because I have absolutely no business to be in your store but you know if I get a gift from your store and I want to exchange/adjust it or just use a gift card, I’m within my human rights to do so… bleh. I so much prefer getting books, socks and hand creams. 

  2. Since I’m unlikely to finish any more books before the end of the year, here’s some of my books from the past couple months: 

    Prisoners of Geography and The Power of Geography  both were incredible, insightful and opened a whole new tangible reality. It expanded my knowledge of the world and the put a new angle on my understanding of current events. Definitely a new and additional building block in my critical thinking and I’m truly grateful for it. Highly recommend. Lovely stuff.

    The New Silk Roads was a bit too much detail for me but it’s possible that listening to it after the above two works, my brain just couldn’t soak up any more of the same. Well not same, obviously, but quite similar. I loved the Silk Roads a lot more, because it was about history. I recommend that to anybody and everybody. This one, check it out, but lower your expectations. 

    The Hidden Life of Trees I’m actually a tad conflicted about this one. I loved the insights and learning so much about trees. But I never love the implied guilt package and moral high ground. Moving past that, highly recommend for the insights and the glimpse into an amazing world.

    And I re-read Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (the scientifically proven bestest, funniest, most amazingly paced and characterized Harry Potter book ever in the history of Harry Potter books), and I’m reading Goblet of Fire now.

  3. 12 hours ago, Buckwheat said:

    Dogs are a great therapy.

    It looks like you know what to do to take care of yourself - congratulations. I really really hope things turn up for you in 2024. And if you ever need to vent over the internet, you know where my inbox is. :grouphug:

    Why thank you! :D My only real life skill is picking myself up from the various breakdowns. but hey that’s an important life skill and I’m proud to have it, so yay :D 

    I have no particular expectations for 2024, but I keep telling myself that out of  the biblical 7 bad years, 4 is already down, we’re past the halfway mark so now the remaining three is just something we can handle even on one leg. I’m sure this phrase doesn’t exist in English. Never mind. 

    :grouphug: thank you, you’re are darling, truly!

     

  4. 7 hours ago, First of My Name said:

    Hey Buck. Well I started a new job, which allowed me to quit the job I didn't like, and I'm finally making enough to start saving some money instead of just spending.  And it's at my old school (the journalism academy) so I'm working together with a lot of old classmates and teachers.

    And besides that, I'm rereading Robin Hobb right now (I'm on Fool's Fate) with warm coffee and warm bread, so life is pretty good ;) 

    I haven't kept up with the thread, how have you been doing?

    Congrats on the new job!!! Aw saving… I have vague memories of what that felt like… :lol: joke aside, way to go! 

    ah book, hot beverage, sounds like heaven! 

    24 minutes ago, Buckwheat said:

    :grouphug: Find comfort in small things.

    Harry Potter is a good way to make yourself feel better. Now it is a few days after your post, I hope you are feeling much better now.

    I tried. Dogs are my life line. 

    no, I’m worse :lol: but thanks anyway :grouphug: I’m home now, I showered off these horrendous three days, I journaled my emotions, I’m going to do some guided meditation and relaxation, I was wise enough to have kept my therapy appointment this week in spite of the holidays, and I didn’t drink or take a Xanax, so kudos for me. It’s upwards from here. (I promise I’m not as unhinged as I often sound, I’m just having a bad week or year or… 4 years, really)

  5. Oh boy it’s finally over. :bowdown: 

    tomorrow I’m taking the tree down, just looking at it ties my stomach in a knot. I really really really crave a xanax, but I’ll be strong and instead I’ll do some yoga and meditation and relaxation and watch a Disney film or read Harry Potter or try to pump some endorphins into myself. But first a shower to wash it off, and I really badly need a good cry. 

  6. Did I ever the tell ye peoples of the internet about the creature in the roof? he lives above my room, in the left side of the attic. I’m not actually sure he is actually in the attic or in some roof framing. Last time I was here I heard him run across what I assume to be attic floor boards and roll around what I assume to be a walnut. Based on the sound of his running and food, he is most likely a rat or a fatter mouse. However I’m not sure he was particularly repelled by the rodent repellent sound YouTube videos I’d played for him last time. Still, weasel is unlikely and we don’t have squirrels. I can’t hear him right now, it’s a very mild and dry night so hopefully he moved out. Or he is already asleep. Or visiting family for Christmas in someone else’s roof. He might be at midnight mass. 

  7. I had Covid last week, waited out my 10 day isolation and got to visit family for Christmas today. I felt shittier than the first time in 2021, but it was still okay. I only felt actually particularly crap for one day, the rest was all right. It was both similar and different than my first Covid experience. Still not a regular flu (at least I did get the creepy symptoms again), still don’t know if the first Covid or the vaccine contributed to my breast cancer earlier this year. Still wouldn’t recommend. But my Covid anxiety definitely passed over the years and I didn’t experience the mental hell I did with the first Covid. So there’s that! 

  8. I really miss Prince William. He was the last source of light and warmth in this house that made it feel like Christmas.

    well, the Chancellor is trying. He stole the salmon roast from the pantry in the afternoon to try and give us some Christmas memories. Chubbs is already sleeping. She came over for some head rubs, then I stuck my phone in her face, they all hate photos and phones, so she eventually left me. I’ll go to bed too. 

  9. A very happy Christmas to everybody who celebrates! :cheers: 

     

    @Ser Lany the house looks so cool and creative! Very much what I would imagine to be your brainchild. And great to see that you’re living all the home decor fantasies! :commie: 

     

    I’m doing absolutely nothing and feeling even less. I don’t like Christmas. - yes, I said that, and I know my ten years ago self wouldn’t believe we are the same person. Well we aren’t, bless her heart. But yeah, I’m officially past my Christmas is fun era. Still, I hope most people love and enjoy it as much as I used to.

    I’ll stop being philosophical because I’m two sentences from bawling my eyes out. I will probably turn off the fireplace asmr on tv and go to bed. 
     

    update: I got out of my head and went to bed and I’m just on my phone (still better than in my head). Might read a bit. I’m rereading Harry Potter because it makes me fuzzy and warm like nothing else. 

  10. Here’s my Covid binge fest from the past week: 

    I rewatched the first season of The Gilded Age while I waited for the episode I didn’t realize to be the season finale of the second installment. If there ever was a power couple on tv I rooted for, the Russells are it. I love George, I love them together, TeamRussell for life, every story needs a George Russell. 

    I attempted to watch Christmas Inheritance, which is a luke warm Netflix Christmas movie that smells and tastes just like anything you try to eat or sniff during Covid, absolutely nothing. It stars the spoilt dude from season 1 of The White Lotus and Clark Griffin from The 100. 0% believability, 0% chemistry, 0% charm, 0% acting prowess. Couldn’t finish it, wouldn’t recommend. (In the first few scenes you will be transported to a gift shop heiress’s apartment that has a non built in non designer fridge, an unmade bed in the kitchen and an ikea kallax, this scene says everything there is to say about the movie and is great basis for comparison to the Lindsay Lohan heiress Christmas movie that’s superior in every way possible. It’s way more realistic about its own premise, has charm and the actors do enough for a Christmas movie.)

    I watched A Christmas Mystery which is a kiddy detective story meets Christmas movie kinda film. In spite of my misgivings, it actually worked. The kids were more sweet than annoying, the story better crafted than the genre average and I seriously appreciated that the adult cast took themselves seriously as well. It was a rather cute family Christmas movie, especially if one is a sucker for kiddy detectives like me. 

    I watched The School of Chocolate, the contestants annoyed the shit out of me at first but I got used to them along the way. Amaury Guichon is a genius and I will watch every second of content he contributes to. It was great, I was depressed for nearly two hours after it ended. Then I had to pick another show because what else are you gonna do lying in bed all day…

    I also watched Baking Impossible, this show thought it a good idea to marry baking and engineering and well, I still have mixed feelings about it. I guess it was entertaining and I got used to it after the first couple episodes, but boy, doesn’t one watch baking shows to see pretty, closing in on perfect end results rather than… well… messy craft projects? The judges didn’t really grow on me, some of the contestants did, my favorite duo didn’t win, but it’s okay because the winner’s wife had cancer (and survived) and we know how I feel about that. My least favorite contestant lasted way too long, and I would say only 30ish% of the creations looked any good. Meh.

    oh I also watched both Home Alone movies. Classic. I don’t know why I hated this as a kid. I guess I didn’t, my mum hated it so I thought it was a bad movie. That has to be it. 

    No, I had Harry Potter and the philosopher’s stone on in the background while I did needle point stitching today. 

  11. Oh I’m still here I’m sorry, I have an excuse for every week, the current one is Covid, I’ll get it to you before Christmas. I’m so sorry I never meant to ghost you, just kept pushing it then forgetting it then remembering to push it again and forgetting again. Bleh. So sorry. I’ll get to it. 

  12. I have a thing with healthy snacks. Not sure if it’s me or the recipe but these things turn out nasty. First the whole wheat scones rounds… tried three different whole wheat scones, thank goodness I only made half batches, absolutely vile all of them. Now Greek yoghurt cocoa banana muffins, like what could go wrong? Well I can’t tell but they taste like unflavored rubber. I’m done, I shopped for mince pie, fruit cake and coconut ball ingredients. 

  13. I’m watching The Morning Show, because I had watched season one back in… when it came out and really enjoyed it and respected the series and the creators for the angles and nuance and self-reflection of the show. So I thought it would be a good idea to check out seasons two and three. Nah. Not. Nope. It wasn’t. 

    season two still had some highlights hidden in between in the mounds of crap most of it was. It was repetitive, boring, lackluster, unfair, hypocritical and did I say repetitive and boring? On the first look it masqueraded as a Covid season, which is why I put of watching it for years. Turns out Covid was only a minor background story, and I had no reason to avoid it after all. Oh well, there were some quality bits 

    Spoiler

    I truly enjoyed Paola’s character and Mitch’s storyline, and Cory was entertaining for a while as well. I also liked Laura Peterson and the contrast she brought into the show juxtaposed to the neurotic mess Alex is. It was a breath of fresh air. 

    And much needed one with the entire season being centered around Alex and her anxiety about not being America’s sweetheart for half a minute. Just watching Jennifer Aniston act out this character makes me stressed. There’s nothing remotely entertaining about a rich celebrity having a crisis and a mental breakdown every ten minutes, I don’t even know how the character is still alive, because I don’t see how a human body could take that amount of stress without getting a heart attack or an aneurysm. It’s way overdone and way overacted. The Bradley love story line bored the life out of me especially because they backed out of the interesting angles of the theme. I hated that they killed off Mitch and especially the way they did it. Overall the season was characterized by a lot of random and fragmented topics they threw up into the air and completely abandoned and forgot about in the next minute, everything is explored in the shallow waters because the show no longer dared to risk going deep enough that they might end up being controversial. 

    Then season 3 came along and its u-n-h-i-n-g-e-d. So far I wanted to turn it off twice in three episodes, and the next time I feel that way, I will turn it off and walk away. It is at this point the equivalent of being on Twitter.

    It’s truly a shame because season 1 did have potential and was able to keep a fair and balanced scale. Not anymore.

     

  14. On 11/13/2023 at 1:55 PM, Ser Lany said:

    Well, I hate everything about Texas except being near my kids and grandkids. I work from home and in truth, rarely leave my house now.

    On the plus side, I do have a lovely little house I was able to decorate myself without someone who likes a lot of beige having input :) 

    It will get better. I will get better.  But overall, it could be much worse.  (That might be a little too much truth :lol:

     

    I hope there hasn't been an imposter :)  It's me.  My computer with my original account died and I couldn't remember the password and I don't have access to my original e-mail and I guess at some point I created this account (not that I remember doing so, but this was the only account on the desktop computer). 

    Another lovely thing about Texas, I haven't been able to get my ADHD meds and without them I have a lot of short term memory issues.  *sigh*  I could complain about Texas for a week without repeating myself, but I am trying to have a more positive outlook.

    I've tried making a few friends. First attempt at ladies was a complete failure.  I tried to start a neighborhood book club, several people kept saying they would come, but no one ever did.

    So now I've appealed to the geeks and have a D&D group and we play a couple of times a month. One of the older guys is becoming my friend. Sometimes he stays afterwards and we talk for hours. We've been meeting for 6 months now.

    I hear you about not liking Texas, but the D&D group and the small house to decorate to your taste sound like a decent place to start and hope your feelings for Texas might improve in the future! Med access is super annoying however ://

    So what does that non beige home decor style look like? What decor are you enjoying? I still remember your gnome garden from a previous house, which was so impressive! 

    And how is Alex doing? Is he in college? Or perhaps it’s been so long he already graduated :uhoh: :lol: 

  15. On 11/11/2023 at 8:23 PM, Buckwheat said:

    Thanks! I hope you have a relaxing weekend too. I just visited a friend and her family.

    Well not relaxing but I did manage to get some serotonin in so that helped :lol:  sounds like a nice weekend for you! Did you and the friend do anything special? 

    On 11/11/2023 at 8:23 PM, Buckwheat said:

    What is your magic? I haven't even started gathering and New Year's gift ideas (I am used to presents at New Year) and I almost never have any ideas about what to buy people. You seem to have so many ideas for everybody's gift, maybe you should open a business offering ideas for people. I would hire you. :lol:

    Ahahahaha, I don’t think so, you’d be a dissatisfied customer I’m afraid:lol: I struggle a lot with ideas and I often misjudge how a gift will be received, or run out of time/money to bring the idea to life. But here’s my gift plan to see if it inspires you :D 
    *
     I wanted to cross stitch custom book marks for friends and put together a little gift bag with a couple tea bags, the bookmark, mini candles,  bookstore gift card - already running out of time to get started on the projects.
    *I want to get some office upgrade furniture/accessories for my mum, but will likely end up just getting the IKEA gift card. 
    *my dad hunts (I know I know, poor Bambi, I feel the same, though it’s a super controlled and respectful tradition unlike what one would think) and when he hosts a hunt, it’s always duck. When I was a kid, we played duck hunting Nintendo game together too, it’s a whole thing, so I have a duck hunt stitching project that I want to frame and give him. In the likely event  that this is only finished for his birthday, it’ll be a gazillionth antique book.
    *sister gets a magazine subscription 
    *cousin gets a cake decoration course gift card
    *my grandma was gonna get a pop up Christmas card and photo family album with recent photos of us, but that’s not gonna happen anymore
    *aunt and uncle will get theatre tickets because I want them to get out more without my cousin 

     

    On 11/11/2023 at 8:23 PM, Buckwheat said:

    My sincerest condolences. :grouphug:

    On 11/10/2023 at 12:48 PM, RhaenysBee said:

    Thank you! <3 

    On 11/11/2023 at 8:23 PM, Buckwheat said:

    am busy, everything is good with the gentleman, I just hope I finish with the dissertation soon ... but as soon as the new school year started for real, I ran out if time to work on it for any significant time, sadly. I really need to finish the thing.

    Yep, full time jobs are a b*tch they leave you with no time to do anything interesting/important/useful. Good luck with the dissertation! Will you be traveling to Germany more to work on it? 
    great to hear everything’s good with the gentleman and he’s keeping you happy! 

  16. 16 hours ago, Buckwheat said:

    Yes, it lasted for two days, then I went back to work on Wednesday. I am exhausted now after two long days at work though.

    How are you, RB?

    Aw that’s nice to hear! If you rest up at the weekend, I’m sure you’ll be at full energy by Monday too. 

    I’m all right. Life is life. September to December is a rather crazy period at work. I had some time off recently, which felt great at the time, though it made going back to work twice as bad.  I have all the Christmas gift ideas lined up in my head but no time to get started on them. I kinda miss summer and having 4 hours of consecutive free time instead of living on a to do list that lasts till next March. My grandma died last weekend, we are having the funeral tomorrow. What else? I’m making doggy advent calendars. And I have a couple home improvement projects in progress or pending as well. 
    how are you? How’s the gentleman, how’s the dissertation? 

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