Spockydog

Because we have been programmed to be ashamed of nudity.

Erm, what...? In the family photo album?

You'll never take me, copper! Pop round and I'll do you a wee baggy. I can guarantee you, it's far better quality than the stuff your colleagues confiscate on a daily basis. Seriously though, you'd think the law would prefer people like me to grow their own, instead of financing criminal gangs, whose fingers are probably in more than a few different types of illegal pies.

I'm growing hydroponically, indoors, in a 3ft x 3ft tent. Initial setup takes a little bit of time and money, but now my time spent in the tent is five minutes in the morning and five in the evening, when I drop some ice packs in the reservoir to bring the temperatures down. PH and PPM are monitored 24/7 on a digital monitor I got from China for £50. Once I get a water chiller, it will mean the grow is basically automated. I just harvested three plants, grown in a single DWC bubbler (so the same level of effort as one plant). Looking at around 16oz from seeds planted on the 15th of December.

I'd grow a couple of plants outdoors if the law allowed. Having said that, growing indoors, especially in a tent, gives you 100% control of the environment. And while a lot of people say weed is a weed, it will grow anywhere, growing top shelf weed requires optimum conditions, and you can only guarantee those indoors.

Indeed.

I think Ed is asking for trouble.

Mars, hopefully.

Another one from the (dis)United Kingdom.

Same here. I've bookmarked it. And the next time I get an attack of Imposter Syndrome, reading a few lines of this crap will be just the thing.

Your prose has all the personality of Harpo fucking Marx. Unless you change the way you write, nobody will ever publish you. Stick your fingers in your ears all you want. We're all illiterate, tasteless troglodytes. I just wish you'd sent this shit to Mark Lawrence when he was critiquing unpublished first chapters.

Yippee! Booooo!

Yup. I'm out.

*woof*

You're the one flinging abuse, not me. I must ask: What's my avatar got to do with anything? Does me thinking it's a funny picture somehow invalidate my opinion on all things creative? And lol at your questioning of my writing ability. Granted, I might not be the best writer in the world, but I'm better than you mate. Live long and prosper.

As I've already said, the initial comment was a bit of gentle ribbing. His reaction to it was pathetic. And if he'd posted in the actual writing thread, I wouldn't have said a thing. But because he's posting his half-a-dozen half-finished chapters in a thread for promoting finished products, he's fair game for a bit of piss-taking. You want me to be helpful? Okay then. Nobody will publish this. The style is bizarre and invites ridicule. And that's not even the worst of it. I could read it all and post a full and honest critique, but I don't think anyone needs to see that.

You're awful.

My intention was a bit of good-natured joshing, until you went and threw your toys out of the pram. And look, if you're going to post stuff online then point to it and say, 'Look at me, everyone. I am writer.' Then you'd better be prepared for whatever gets thrown at you.

If you really must know, I couldn't bring myself to read much more. Your so-called 'stylistic choice' is so damn hokey and distracting, it's impossible to take you, or your writing, seriously. Sorry, but there it is. And Helena's right. If you want to be a writer, you're really gonna have to work on thickening your skin. ETA: And you really should be posting this shit in the Boarders Writing a Novel thread. This is a self promotion thread, and the way I see it, you've currently got fuck all to promote.

Surely that should be 'ye olde tailor's shoppe,' no?

It was funnier before the edit.

Lacht? Nacht? Minuet? "Not much lacht was escaping out into the nacht..." No. No. A thousand times no. Choose a language, and stick to it.

Pre-ordered. I read the blurb on Goodreads and I have to say, it sounds like enormous fun.