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Everything posted by Toth

  1. I'm using as ecosia.org as much as possible after I've seen students use it. Just a minor way to greenwash my searches.^^ Have to switch to Google sometimes for more obscure searches, but it's fine for everyday things.
  2. For someone who is constantly worrying about "the elites", it is odd that I only see you advocating for the party and their policies to make the super rich richer and keep the current trend of ever increasing wealth gaps as it is. If I were you, I'd take another careful look who was in power when wages started stagnating in the US. And yes, to your previous point, those emissions were in the atmosphere millions of years ago. And it took those millions of years and several extinction events to get them out of there. The issue we are facing is that we are drastically changing the atmosphere in a very, very, very, VERY short timeframe. Something life on our planet simply can't adapt to quickly enough. That is why we are already right in the middle of another mass extinction event RIGHT NOW. And taking money in the hand to prevent the worst right now also has advantages for all of us. Don't you think shortening supply chains to stop shipping nonsense from China across the world and getting industries back home won't create prosperity? Will stop throwing money at Russia and Arabs for fossil fuels not make us more independent and in the end be far more cheaper, given how CHEAP renewables actually are once established? You have bought into the propaganda of those very same elites you fear so much, that switching to renewables somehow destroys prosperity, even though it in fact just creates new/different jobs and allows us to prevent a loss of prosperity though climate collapse where we would have to pour ungodly amounts of money for repairs from extreme weather events and to keep from starving. The only ones who have to fear for their "prosperity" are those in the fossil fuel industry and that's why they are lobbying so much and do everything so that useful idiots like you block change out of fear. Change that is bitterly needed right now.
  3. Finished the Red Alert 2 campaign now. The last two Soviet missions were a strange mixture of frantical defense against non-stop attacks and then just rushing the target with airships and be done with it. Given how insanely frustrating Yuri's psy-warriors were, I'm not quite sure I want to jump straight into the expansion. In fact I somehow fell back to playing GTA V as I somehow have an urge to leisurely drive through the town. Did mostly races and parachute jumps before doing a little of the main story.
  4. Yeah, sorry. I should go back to expecting that people are embarrassed of knowing me and focus on the pleasant surprise when someone isn't.
  5. Yeah, I guess that's wise. Doesn't help being bummed out about it though. Eh, that's a bit harsh. I don't want to assume anything that extreme. In fact the situation reminded me of a scene quite a few years ago where I met a fellow student from university in the train with her boyfriend and we started chatting, with him looking rather left out, just uncomfortably sitting there glancing at us without saying anything beyond the initial introduction. It is quite possible she just wanted to avoid such a situation with her partner. True. Still causes me a bit to retcon how I saw her back then, because in my memory she seemed rather unconcerned about goofing off with guys, me or others. Though admittedly, our interactions were rather sparse if not for anything initiated by her and I ended up avoiding her on top of that for a while because of my confusion.
  6. Okay, fuck. Not sure it really belongs here, but... I guess for her situation it kinda fits, because I'm not sure whether I'm expecting too much from a person on an outing with their boyfriend/husband or whether this is another example of my inability to normally socialize or even whether this is after all this time still a person affected by my old status as untouchable pariah that made her uneasy for knowing me. So I was just at an Anime convention and early on saw a girl I went to school with and I haven't seen in 11 years. Okay, as it's just us, I can be honest and say it was my first and only small crush back in high school that I think I mentioned before, the one I swallowed down hard and forgot about because she already had a boyfriend and there was no point making myself miserable. It's a bit unnecessary information, because those feelings are long gone and didn't show themselves today either. However... I must admit I craned around to squint at her about 20 times before I took heart and approached her, if she noticed, that may have added to her apprehensiveness, but I really didn't want to be mistaken. The dialogue was as follows: "Hello! I'm sorry for disturbing, but while I hope I'm not mistaken... aren't you A.?" "No, that's correct! Hello again." "Wow, we haven't seen since ages ago!" "Yes, strange what places you can meet again. I hope you have fun." (already proceeds to walk away) "Oh, uh, okay, yes, you have fun, too." And gone. We bumped into each other a couple more times, but she made sure to never look at me and acknowledge my attempt at at least nodding at her. Quite a bummer, since I hoped I could at least get in to ask what she has been up to all these years or... anything really. On the other hand I can understand that she really didn't want to do any of that while going around with her boyfriend/husband (that I may or may not have mistaken for her father initially, until I noticed them cuddling with his hand at her butt as they stood in front of me in a queue...). On the other hand, I can't help but wonder that her skittishness at engaging with me may have been a late return of my status as "the victim" as I'm very used to former classmates having to pretend not to know me as to protect their social status, so she might have been embarrassed at me daring to approach her like this and just wanted me to be away. This is literally how I'm used to such chance meetings proceeding almost every time, just me greeting them and them turning away embarrassed. And here I also caught a quite distinct "don't want to talk" vibe from her. Which... is a bit disappointing as I consider a main point for my confused feelings towards her back then to have to do with my perception that I thought she acted relatively unaffected by it towards me after the direct bullying ended. Should I rethink that? Or am I overthinking and in such a situation it's far too much of me to ask for even a little talk?
  7. Just trying to figure out the battle system in Space Engineers. My first starfighter is... not very creative: https://i.imgur.com/1Ss5YV2.png Got a bit startled that I have to assign the guns to the mouse before I can shoot.
  8. Meanwhile the aftermath of Russia acting like a pathetic loser bully, definitely purely by accident. Again.
  9. Yeah, the mining and the building are pretty much the life-blood of the game. I didn't spend much time building bases in No Man's Sky, in the end just placed some auto-miners and a teleporter into the dirt and called it a day before going on with exploring. Meanwhile Space Engineers forces you to do it since you NEED bases to get electricity to power drills for resources, generators for air and hydrogen for your jetpack and refineries and assemblers to make more blocks. You NEED rovers and ships to get around as the distances you need to traverse are quite vast and most ore deposits deep underground. Preferably your builds have airtight insides that keep the vacuum out and your precious air in. So you have to build something to make your life easier and while you are at it, you get motivated to make something that is efficient at its job and maybe even looks good. And then that's your baby and your home. You spent several evenings putting it together piece by piece after all. The resource management... actually is a bit less of a hassle than No Man's Sky. The resources are iron for just about everything, silicon for solar panels, nickel for batteries, ice to generate air and fuel, cobalt for pretty much all medium to high tech blocks, magnesium for weapons, silver for medical equipment and gravity manipulation, gold for high efficiency refineries, platinum for highly efficient ion thrusters and uranium as an advanced energy source. The kicker is that all except platinum and uranium are available on every single planet, every moon and every asteroid, with platinum spawning only on moons or asteroids and uranium only on asteroids. Meaning you don't even have all that much incentive to actually go anywhere else (you probably still want to see if you can), especially once you've managed to get to space in a ship designed to eat asteroids and churn out supplies. I've actually made life probably unnecessarily difficult for myself by going to space with an empty ship to save weight, now having to scrounge up all my resources again as I zip around from asteroid to asteroid. Though I have narrowly dodged some pirates here and there, so I'm thinking I have to dabble a bit with the combat mechanics... once I found an asteroid with magnesium again. And yeah... if I don't manage to create anything less cube-like , I am considering going for a massive Borg Cube as my mothership.^^ I have already thought about how, since the exhaust damage of thrusters is just six blocks long and they don't really need to be in the open beyond that, you could build a giant block of thrusters as the centerpiece of a ship and then build a ship around that. Would probably also be very advantageous in regards to protecting the thrusters from damage in combat.
  10. Just looked up... it... entertained me for 18 days now. Which I guess is already paying off its price. Can't say in the really long run. The NPC factions that offer missions and trade are pretty much worthless in single-player as they don't give you anything that you can't easily make for yourself, with the sole exception of "safety zone" fields that shut down griefing in multiplayer. So far the only motivation is to build ever more bigger things to make getting around and hoarding resources easier, which you will in turn use to build the next bigger and hopefully prettier thing. And I guess there is the challenge of trying to get to different environments and build stuff that can easily lift off of them. The solar system you play in consists of an Earth-like planet with a moon looking like ours, a Mars-like planet with its own moon, an ice planet, an "alien" planet that is infested with aggressive bugs like in Starship Troopers and a high-gravity desert world. If you like, I can give a little bit of a tour: My first rover: https://i.imgur.com/fX5guNj.png Building a launch site for my space ship: https://i.imgur.com/94arRwS.png Building my Space Brick: https://i.imgur.com/apOEf8J.png My base at the end at the time of lift-off: https://i.imgur.com/RDCQQyO.png My mining ships in comparison: https://i.imgur.com/PQdaDzG.png The lake that saved my hide: https://i.imgur.com/7lus39c.png I had to build a conveyor of O2/H2-generators towards my ship, as otherwise it would have taken forever: https://i.imgur.com/vjhpFeE.png Waiting for my fuel on the bridge: https://i.imgur.com/ZJi2vr8.png The inside of the Space Brick: https://i.imgur.com/QQJMPy5.png Looking out my "promenade deck": https://i.imgur.com/rTsFRHB.png Finally getting into space: https://i.imgur.com/V6S6qYA.jpg ... and immediately starting with the construction of a space station: https://i.imgur.com/hqx9h2Y.jpg
  11. So, am on my summer break and my... gaming selection is eccentric, to say the least. After my Star Trek Armada playthrough I guess I got into the mood for old school RTS and installed C&C Red Alert 2 again, which I got from an Origin giveaway ages ago. Getting it to work was a bit of a hassle, but going through the campaign is a breeze with only minor hiccups. Already finished the Allied campaign (though I was quite frustrate with the pretty much constant artillery and air ship attacks in the last mission, which somehow always got through despite plastering my base with patriots) and am now in mission 8 of the Soviet campaign. I like the game and it gives me nostalgia to playing it at my cousin's place back in the days, but oh god, it's so stressful in the higher levels. Which brings me right to my current obsession: Space Engineers. I vaguely remember playing a demo of an early alpha ages ago, but now got the finished game for a few euros in a sale. And... damn... it is strangely addicting despite offering barely any goals itself, but goals still just generate themselves out of the game. It's basically a mixture of Minecraft and Kerbal Space Program. You mine ore, refine it into ingots and use those ingots to create parts out of which you can build blocks that you can slap together to make bases, rovers and ships that have to deal with gravity and fuel consumption. In the end it all revolves around figuring out how to get from A to B and then how to get three thousand tons of stuff from B to A. I started a Survival game on an Earth-like planet, stranded with just an escape pod and some basic tools. I spent my time squeezing iron out of rocks in order to build a drill rig to get more rock to squeeze stuff out of, then built a small Rover to drive around and scan the area for more valuable ores, occasionally crashing horribly and/or getting stuck in a ditch. Built a second rover as a mobile base, used it to construct two more outposts, then built a flying drill ship that was just a large cargo container with some drills and thrusters taped onto, which still drastically decreased my mining time as I didn't have to keep manually replacing drill arms with bigger ones. Then started to build my Space Brick, a massive very cuboid ship with massive hydrogen thrusters that I then wanted to use to get to space... but had a severe shortage of hydrogen, so I built an even more massive flying umbrella of thrusters with a wall of drills at the bottom that I could use to dig up underground ice deposits... which barely moved the needle on my fuel gauge, so I grew desperate, trying to fly up to a mountain top to shave ice off it, then luckily found a mountain lake while up there. Having properly fueled up, I managed to get into space... and initially it was my idea to stop there and bask in my achievement, but while using my space brick to mine astoids and filling it up with hundreds of tons of platinum ore, my refinery got clogged up and now I'm building an automatic refining station in space where I can offload ore and move on. And this time I try to give it a more realistic looking tube like shell and an array of solar panels.
  12. So if Russia were to succeed to dominate everything, you would hate it too just to still be a dissenting edgelord? Like... I have no idea what to say to such intense hatred for a concept that in this form exists only in your head. Yes, the US has been doing dodgy things in order to keep their hegemony, but it's the 2020s for goodness sake, it's neither the time of rampant CIA involvement against anything remotely red or the time of Freedom Fries, shaming countries for not being up to military adventurism. You are in favor of military intervention to keep a country in one's sphere or conquering parts of it when that fails, against the sovereignty of a country to decide based on what its people want. You can in all honesty stand there and type that trade and democracy is a great evil that justifies murdering hundred-thousands of people to prevent it? Yes, I'm morally grandstanding here, but what the fuck is wrong with you? You claim you want the war to end (but only but having Russia win of course) is quite a hollow statement of humanity when you at the same time argue in support of invading in the first place. Wait... you are Russian, are you? Is this some kind of patriotic self-justifying meltdown here? What are you even arguing for? You are aware that in those 8 years it wasn't just Azov fighting, are you? And that the Russian media picked them as the boogieman because they had to focus damn hard on the Nazi part in order to pull under the carpet the fact that it's Russian speaking Ukrainians who were resisting becoming the next Moldova, South Ossetia, Abkhasia or Chechnya. And that when Russia invaded "for real", Ukraine got so swamped with volunteers they had to send them away because they couldn't possibly train and equip them all. Meanwhile what is Russia doing with Wagner's penal legion, Storm-Z and mobilizing the dregs of its most backwater Federation subjects? Doesn't look like the people in Moscow and St. Petersburg are too keen to die in the trenches for some old spy's imperial delusions... But anyway, this is utterly pointless. You live in your own world, marinating in your hatred and seeing only what you want to see. Grand ambitions for western dominations, bah. As if western democracies were able to see past each election cycle. Sure, there is a mindset of competition to a certain degree, but this here is about preserving stability not liking countries getting invaded for wanting to be your allies.. That in reaction to countries still trying to play with a 19th century playbook instead of a 21th century one. That is what's at stake for us. Extremism, bah. So the democratic voter is at the same time a brainwashed pathetic sheep and a jingoistic extremist munching on Freedom Fries? Then I have to ask what a proper Russian citizen is like...
  13. I've been following the last 8 pages of this nonsense with worried fascination. I guess we should be thankful for someone barging in and trying to give an alternate viewpoint. It's kind of boring when everyone can agree that murder is bad and someone comes and rationalizes why murder is good when it hits people he doesn't like. Since this whole thing went through all kinds of confusing tangents and there were quite a lot of quite some forceful topic changes as to never get nailed down on one thing, let me try to sum up what my impression of your position is, @butterweedstrover: - at the core you hate "the West" for being "weak", as it is in the grip of a "culture" you deride as inferior, I guess particularly in regards to democracy, personal liberty for marginalized groups and so on. The whole culture war stuff. Drag queens are turning your children gay, trans people invading toilet safe spaces and Disney is selling badly written Mary Sues. - at the same time you see that same west, I guess particularly the US, as an incredibly strong Empire that is very successful and constantly expanding through sinister means and that for you justifies war and regime change to prevent a country from... having economic ties with the EU. Because a sovereign country deciding that they give a better deal than Russia's Eurasian union must mean that this country is both too stupid to realize that Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan and Belarus are somehow better off than Poland and the Baltics despite all data telling you the contrary, but also at the same time must be manipulated by those sinister western forces. - which in your opinion is confirmed by the Euromaidan being some kind of CIA ploy and not just the result of Russia's desperate intervention at the end of a string of economic blackmailing as Ukraine started to slip away into the EU, with protests simply becoming far wider the more the government pushed back against it. That this thing was two democratically elected governments and two Russian invasions ago doesn't count, the dude Putin forced to walk back on his promise of EU integration fled the country, so all governments after that don't count as legitimate and that justifies invasion and regime change through Russia. Also that neither the US nor the EU really cared all that much for Ukraine counts either, because... it just doesn't. - at the same time you try to deride Ukraine's cultural and historical distinctiveness altogether in an attempt to rationalize Russia's moving war goals. Since regime change failed, Russia walked back and annexed the territories they still occupied, where you feel the need to claim that the people there are Russian or want to be Russian anyway, despite previously also stating that Russia orchestrating the separatist movements in the Donbass was "doing it by the western playbook" with a cheeky snipe at the Euromaidan. So both were coups by a third party, but somehow protests against a government breaking its promises escalating to protests against the general state of corruption were unlawful meddling, but the separatist uprisings with all the Russian gear and support were justified because those people actually truly believed in that cause of tearing their country apart, instead of being some opportunistic stooges who saw themselves at the top of whatever new order Russia would establish there as they stormed municipal buildings, murdered democratic activists and suppressed their neighbors. - you acknowledged that Putin's system is a dysfunctional kleptocracy where everyone outside Moscow and St. Petersburg lives in jarring poverty and nothing will be done to change that, but at the same time you applaud it as this last bulwark against western degeneracy, for at least they still have a strongman at the top who hits down hard on LGBTQ-rights, decriminalizes domestic violence and generally promotes a culture of hardasses where there is no place for weak pussy stuff. And that this whole thing is so fragile that... failing to invade a neighbor would mean it would all get destroyed, alongside hundred years old Russian cultural heritage that you bring up so that it doesn't only look like gloomy macho nonsense that... we in the west try to destroy at all costs, because that is our goal here and that's why we didn't do shit 2014, even expanding trade with Russia and now only give homeopathic doses of equipment to Ukraine that pretty much only turns the war around because the Russian military is doing just that badly. In any case, at the same time they need to win and defeat the degenerate west at all cost to expand their own empire or else all that precious macho culture would go down the drain. - which is particularly odd, because while you clearly say it's all because of Putin's imperial ambitions, you still go out of the way to deride the Ukrainian government and defenders as Nazis, which is just... such a bizarre and weak argument the Russians make mostly for internal consumption. Like who cares what individual national guard units think, their attempt to make it a political movement failed utterly and even if not, hurling bombs on people usually wouldn't be treated as an adequate response to a government curtailing Russian media... in response to Russia invading and occupying your land. - you acknowledge that the Russian army is raping and pillaging their way through Ukraine and even vaguely allude to Russian strategy involving lots of civilian casualties, but state that massacres are okay, since they aren't ordered from above, while at the same time bending backwards to make up excuses that Russian accuracy is just that dreadful and at the same time Ukraine is just accidentally shelling itself all the time. You know, I'm also of the opinion that Bucha wasn't really planned, but a result of that completely fucked up military culture Russia has, where top-down everyone abuses everyone downwards. At the same time the terror bombing in a desperate and petty attempt to break the spirit of Ukraine's civilians as well as the very much intentional establishment of FSB torture cellars and systematic murder of pro-Euromaidan civilians and journalists very much IS the Russian war strategy. As well as the relocation of people, kidnapping of children and change in schools and stuff is also a quite blatant attempt at russification. Something that... wouldn't be necessary if the people already were Russian or in favour of Russia, but oh well, gotta break some eggs to make an omelette or something and all that is justified anyway because it would expand the Russian empire and diminish the one of the west. Because Russian expansion through war and subjugation is good, while western expansion through trade deals is bad. I must say, again, going through eight pages of all that, I'm saying something I rarely say: Who hurt you? Because all this... just reeks of an immensely insecure mind that desperately craves strength, even if perceived strength, and using it to look down on those you view as less pure and inferior. You need some serious introspection and look again where you want to stand. Because at it stands, pretty much all you write gives the impression that you are cartoonishly evil, that you would gleefully cheer for Hitler if you'd lived back in the days, and wouldn't even need much self-justification for it, because at least he'd hurt the people you despise. Really, it's troubling that after these eight pages you decided to charge up on all the counterpoints and double down on the crazy instead of realizing that you have truly dug yourself deeper and deeper into a corner, defending the indefensible.
  14. I wonder how much more effective Russia would be if they stopped wasting missiles and drones against apartment blocks, hospitals and schools and used them against actual military targets for a change. Just food for thought.
  15. Yes, yes. Let's celebrate the proud holiday of when the Kingdom of Texas was proclaimed and declared war on the US!
  16. Here is the state of my dates: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/856230992573366312/1125057523473461310/20230630_105921.jpg Yesterday a fifth one came out. This time I seem to have gotten a great batch! Also spent a good chunk of yesterday putting plants into bigger pots. Some of the oranges have developed decent wooden trunks. Still not quite a centimeter in diameter, but still. Meanwhile the number of banana plants has risen to 8. All from a single one my mother bought one day, which is multiplying exponentially with the shoots now big enough to develop their own shoots. The latest batch of chestnuts also still cling to life, despite two of them having had quite the trouble with spider mites (those fuckers keep popping up). Also... in my idiocy I put some more watermelon seeds into soil and they are all sprouting again. Also potted over one of my old tomato plants and... unfortunately it looks quite bad right now with hanging leaves. Maybe too much stress in the end. I also grew a second avocado in addition to the one my colleague gave to me and it's absolutely awesome. Very easy and quick to grow and hers is now already almost as tall as me... Meanwhile the ginger roots that I separated have turned into two new plants. Yay! Two of the physalis plants also had become ridiculously huge and gotten flowers, but unfortunately despite going at them with a paint brush, I couldn't fertilize them So let's sum up my experiments since the Corona lockdown. Plants that are awesome to grow from planted seeds of everyday food: oranges and mandarins tomatoes peppers lychee chestnuts (to a degree) (bananas) [not planted from seeds, but still honorable mention because they multiply like Tribbles] avocado mango dates ginger physalis pomegranates What didn't work for me: strawberries currants gooseberry apple s and pears (sprout, but then die very quickly for some reason) watermelons and honeymelons cherries tiger nuts lemons potatoes (definitely not indoors, though maybe I also just put them into earth too late - they turn into one long vine and then die)
  17. No really, it's the story people praise. And the simple thing that the skills of your characters actually have a meaningful impact, opening up choices and closing others, the same as your personal decisions and how all of that has an actual impact on how quests proceed. Fallout 4 has smoother gunplay, but many were annoyed how much it fails at being a roleplaying game, what with the "Yes - Yes, but give me more money - No (Yes, but later)" dialogue options.
  18. Oh, sorry! Don't do that. I was already up far too late myself. Thank you very much for the reply anyway. Yeah, it just sucks. Though your thing with the evening classes is definitely a good idea to combat it. You need regular contact with the same people after all in order to build something. What frustrates me, I guess, is my utter ineptitude at gauging how much contact is enough. My mother phones her best and only friend once every few months or so and they still consider each other deeply in contact, though admittedly they are former coworkers who used to see each other every day. I have two contacts from this forum here who get mad at me if I can't bring myself to call them friends and with whom I have quite regular chat contact, maybe twice a week with a few longer breaks of a couple of weeks in which I am feeling quite starved of interaction because I have literally nobody else. Which is I guess really bad because to most people it seems quite ridiculous to chime in and wanting to exchange how it's going twice a week and that I'm here also almost always the one initiating. I guess I also have one person from a group I worked with at university who hasn't changed her number yet and whom I can chat with once or twice a year, but we never managed to set up the joint lesson preparation meetups we tried to be in contact for in the first place (and now she abandoned the teacher job on top of that). Given that very scarce contact and the fact that it always has to be me initiating contact, I find that I can hardly call her a friend, but... apparently to most people that's the normal state of contact. I indeed got the feeling through her previous explanations of her time here that she had been dealing with quite severe isolation, but at the same time she seemed to isolate herself quite wilfully as well as act recklessly impulsive when it comes to fleeing to short weekend trips across Europe just to get her mind off slumps. So yeah. In any case, that explanation that my way of regularly checking up on how things were going on her end seemed intrusive to her does make sense. Frustratingly, it is so vexing that the exact same shit happened to me again last year with a person I met in an online game and with whom I bonded over Umineko (as in, the story from my signature) and... who also snapped at me quite severely after our once a week Anime watch meetups on Skype turned to once a week fanfic "word wars" turned into once a week mindless chatting because she got increasingly frustrated with the direction of the fandom and in the end decided to ditch it entirely. She then after bitingly telling me that she doesn't like such regular contact, she effectively ghosted me. A few months ago I got worried about flash floods in the news in her area, I messaged her again and after some more weeks I got an explanation reiterating that she is getting extremely bored by people talking to her about things she isn't invested in and doesn't want to bore them as well with the stuff she's right now obsessing about and that's why she cuts all contact with not me, but everyone... aaaaaand as I was just trying to check how long ago that message was, I notice it's gone, same as her entire account and her blog has been dead for five months. Sigh... Can't help but feel that's my fault, since I answered her with a long-winded apology, despite knowing that reading more of me would have been the last she wanted. Damn it, why am I like this... So long story short, it is obvious that my loneliness related (online) talkativeness is being perceived as extremely oppressive, but at the same time people instantly disappear the moment I stop writing, since nobody ever bothers enough to return the attention, so I don't know what to do. It's a damned if I do, damned if I don't kind of thing. *looks around* Ahem, sorry for the off-topic rant.
  19. Thanks! Yes, that's what I needed to hear. I guess part of me still hoped I could sort out the misunderstanding that caused this in the first place, what with me expecting her to remember to ask me again if I succeed freeing up the weekend for the second meeting without reminding her that day and then getting annoyed at it (though she blew up at me without me even getting to express that annoyance - she... seemed quite stressed and confused... and I was too taken aback to not do anything but take her at her word and give her the space she needed). I was also confused that her explanation was "I don't have regular contact even with close friends, that's just how I prefer things", which... I interpreted as meaning that loose contact was okay, as long as it is initiated by her. And while I am thinking that if she'd be fine with me, she would have messaged me somewhere down the line... I can't avoid thinking that nobody ever messaged me out of the blue and everyone I know instantly disappears the moment I stop reaching out to them. That's just how it is. I'm the one who isn't normal for expecting other people to make an effort out of their own volition, which is just a painful mindset. Yes, I better erase those messages as well. No point in looking back.
  20. Mmh... only tangentially dating related, but I recently noticed something that keeps bugging me. Remember my only non-date that came out of my Bumble experience two years ago? The bored Chinese Master student. Half a year after she told me I've been too much in contact with her and shouldn't initiate things anymore and her never writing back either, I had erased her number. But now I saw when checking through my text messages that I still had her messages, which naturally includes her number. I guess it's a testimony to how stupid I am that I am considering writing to check in how it's going. Really bad idea, right?
  21. Mmh, I've been wondering... why wait until it happens again? Given your previous descriptions of his behavior, I have a vague feeling that it might be even simpler to just bring it up yourself in an appropriate moment. "Remember that joke you did about me being "broke"? I didn't say anything back then, but it's been weighing on my mind this whole time and can't help but find it hurtful." Something along these lines. I'm thinking that portraying it as something you thought over may indicate you being hurt as a more serious concern than expressing it "in the heat of the moment", so to speak. It may even be that he either mistakes it for banter or, in the case of this dragging out even more, for you to bottle up your frustration and make your reaction worse than necessary.
  22. Is it proven? No. But that his plane made a dash for is and it would fit Putin's paranoia. And you would have to assume that anyone in the "Russian power structures" would care if he fled. The whole thing about an army marching up to the gates of Moscow unimpeded would technically be considered enough to end him in a world based on reason and logic.
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