Theda Baratheon

https://celticmythspodcast.libsyn.com/the-shetland-islands episode 10 is finally recorded and uploaded. Shetland islands...friendly werewolves, mischievous water horses and malignant fairies!!!!

Miserable actually - make leaps and bounds in some areas of my poor mental health like my body image, keeping busy so I don’t feel bored and useless. In fact all my internal stuff I’ve been working through and that’s okay...after years of self loathing I’m beginning to just...not hate myself which is great. So all that’s healthy and good but I’m also working 6 day weeks, long fucking days with a horrible commute and my car has aquaplaned twice this months d then crashed this morning and is a write off. I’m so fucking tired and just don’t have any fucking money its like the universe won’t stop fucking with me and I can’t catch a break I become more mentally and emotionally healthy than I’ve ever been, genuinely start to feel like an adult and view myself as a young woman with some value to offer the world and then suddenly all these disasters and money sinks keep slamming right into me!!! Maybe I’m not meant to be happy!!! Damn. I’m CURSED. My measure my moments of happiness and joy - I don’t shy away from feeling good and excited and and enthusiastic about small things and it’s like the universe tallies up all these little moments of joy and then every now and again when I’ve reached the limit it just sends twice as much shit my way okay I’m aware I sound very paranoid and ridiculous but I’m so fucking tired working a 10 day on the trot work period and have to figure out whether or not to QUIT my job that I actually like which is giving me money to pay off uni because I uhhh...can’t afford to buy a new car and pay off the money I owe university to finish my masters degree which has taken ten thousand years. Can life GIVE me a fucking BREAK and also send me someone to just...fucking...I don’t know...give me a HUG!!!!! I need it so bad!!!!!

Second car this year that’s a write off - I have the worst fucking luck - crashes this morning into a wall because the tire went - wasn’t even going fast around the bend, just must have hit something at just the wrong angle

So uhhh...where’s this screening then

I kind of want to go to it now. At first I couldn’t be bothered even though I know I legally have to. Now I think it will be an interesting experience. I’m not like...excited, but I’m not trying to elaborately plan how to get out of it...better to just...turn up and do it I guess.

Also you are not too old hahah. No way.

I’m 25 and longest relationship I’ve ever had was 6 months. And it wasn’t even really a relationship, who knows what that was haha. No one seems to like me in that way either. And I hardly like anyone and if I do I’m always so awkward and shy. All this to say I think more people are like us than we think even if it doesn’t feel that way.

I’ve been summoned to do Jury Service...dunno how to feel about it really

5k+ run today in the proper heat after a full day of work. Not feeling too bad about it - not feeling my best today so had to take a few breaks but cheating a little bit my pausing and resuming my run I’m averaging about 9.45min per mile. So feeling pretty good considering I could barely run half a mile at a snails pace when I first started running again.

Oh yeah that’s a good one. One of the my favourite comedies - proper laugh out loud. I’ll have to rewatch it soon when I have the time.

I don’t seem to laugh so much anymore. I smile a lot and chuckle but I haven’t had a lot of proper belly laughs in awhile

So I’ve moved to the progression group for runners club from the foundation group and I kept up quite easily, in fact out ran most of the runners. It’s nice to feel good at this. I’ll stay at this level for a month or so and then I’ll progress to the other runs as well. I think if I can finish work early enough and get home in time (my commute is disgusting) then I’ll start going on other days as well. So far I’m only going to runners club days on Mondays which is my only day off. Loving it though. I’m not eating very well lately - getting lazy. Need to kick myself up the butt in that regard but running is going well!!

Can’t beat a hearty laugh

They’ve turned Corbyn into some Disney villain. Defeat Corbyn? What the fuck? THAT is one of the most important issues facing our country? Give me a fucking break. I’m not surprised at the Boris win, though. It was inevitable...what a joke.

Then I have Neuromancer to read...or maybe The master and Magerita (?), Rosemary’s baby, and some other books waiting on my shelf.