Xray the Enforcer

I am so sorry for your loss

I'm starting a new round of therapy today (last time was back in 2017) and my new therapist also uses gender neutral pronouns! I cannot express how much of a relief it is to not have to worry about that aspect of my life during therapy. My last therapist was totally fine, but I definitely got the sense that she didn't know what to do with my gender identity/presentation and that made things a little challenging. Anyway, it's Friday so I'm sending all of my to my fellow queers, and especially to my fellow trans peeps. I feel like we have A Week every goddamned week these days.

Just here to report that I'm about 1/3 of the way through the first Amelia Peabody book and am enjoying it immensely. Thank you again, everyone, for the ideas and support. As the nights become longer and the weather starts turning, I am very grateful for the reading material distraction.

For real tho

Oooh those Burrows' books look to be right up my alley, although I swear it's going to drive me mad to not know enough about Eurocommie birds to be able to solve the crimes by myself. All of these look great -- thank you! @Jo498 Thank you for the flag. As it turns out, I've actually read the Rivers of London series (well, up through book 7 I think) and I'd say that some of the issues in the book are right on the edge for me. Like, Peter is a dolt with every kind of sheltered-and-stupid cisgender dude flaw on the planet. Which means I don't actually like the protagonist all that much. But I dig a lot of the other characters and the worldbuilding. As for gore, I should probably be more clear: Some gore is OK. But I don't want to read elaborate reconstructions -- or first-person POV experiences -- of graphic rapes and murders. Like, there was this one book and I can't remember the name of it or the author, but the whole thing was full of sadistic serial killer POV shit, and it spent pages describing in minute detail all of the horrors of each rape/murder and it put me off the entire genre for 20 years. Legit, I have refused to read almost any modern mystery or crime novels because I do not want to read that stuff. ETA: I realize that most of the really awful stuff happens more in crime thrillers rather than crime/mystery, but there's sufficient overlap in the audiences that I just want to make clear what my deal-killers are in the general space.

Thank you for the recommendations @Ormond! I'll definitely check of these out.

Thank you for the recommendations so far! I appreciate you all giving thought to this and bringing some nuance to the discussion. And yeah, I can handle some retrograde ideas or heteronormative gender roles. I am mostly looking to avoid books where, say, the gay person is invariably a manipulative child molester, or where the author lovingly pores over all the details of a sexual sadist serial killer. Way too many post-1970s books do this and it's boring AF. @lady narcissa I'm screaming at those book titles. Incredible. I especially like the bird-cricket mashup at around book 8. If there was ever a series to be written directly to my interests, surely this is it.

I'm looking for anti-recommendations. I would like to avoid transphobic nonsense like the Galbraith books in particular, and would like to avoid books that demonize queer people in general. I would also like to avoid books that luridly focus on sexual assault and torture. Given those strictures, which books/authors already mentioned in this thread should I avoid? OTOH, if there's a book series you'd really love to rep that you think I'd like, I'd love to hear it. Authors I've liked: Ian Rankin Tana French Louise Penny Agatha Christie Peter May Dorothy Sayers

hooooooboy yeah. So much has happened (even just in the circumscribed context of being queer and trans) and I don't even know where to begin.

I haven't seen She-Ra yet, but everyone I know who has loves it. And yeah, it's apparently super gay. Gonna devote some of this weekend to watching it.

No real reason for posting, just want to give a shoutout to all of my fellow queers.

I cannot remember who said it in this thread, but I had suspected the same thing: All of that said, the whole structure breaks down once you start to think about it too hard, so who knows? I'm stalled about halfway through HtN purely because I got distracted by "Moody British Murder Mysteries" TV shows (Broadchurch, Endeavor, etc).

I really struggled through Gt9 until the very end, then I immediately started the book for the re-read and it was so much more satisfying. I'm having the same struggle with Ht9, especially when it comes to @ljkeane's spoiler comments, so I suspect I'll have to do the same finish-and-reread for this book too. I really enjoy this book series but...a lot of the worldbuilding feels incredibly overwrought. Like, their entire societal structure (that we've seen) makes no sense right now, so I am hoping that gets resolved, if not in this book, then in the final one.

A couple of things. 1) please do not use "transgendered" or "cisgendered". The correct terms are "transgender" and "cisgender" because these are things that people are, not things that happened to them. 2) I've never seen the term "non-cisgender" used by people in the community, although I suppose it's not the worst thing. I'd avoid it, though, and say "transgender or non-binary individuals." Also note that "nb" as shorthand for "non-binary" should be avoided, because that term is already in use in the Black community to mean "non-Black." 3) "person assigned X at birth" is generally considered acceptable. 4) I'd steer clear of using someone's anatomy as a descriptor. It's really invasive and is nobody's business. I need to run to a meeting but I will try to come up with an alternative for you. Thank you for asking these questions! I really appreciate that you're trying to get things correct and want to be inclusive in your language.

The gatekeeping is bullshit, but try to not let it get you down. Her words say way more about her than they do about you.

No kidding.

Valid to consider personally. But a rehash of the intricacies of Brexit and what it will or will not mean for United Kingdom is best left to the UK politics thread.

Agreed that this is not the place to discuss Brexit.

Robin -- I do not think that this board is going to give you the information you need to accurately assess the threat level to your family's rather unusual personal circumstance. This isn't a slam at those who've spoken thus far -- but one thing I've learned over the last couple of years working in partnership with transgender women, and especially transgender women of color, is that no matter what my personal experience with homophobic bigotry is, I am NEVER going to experience the same threat levels that they do. As such, I'd take the above reports of "not much outward homophobia" with a big grain of salt.

nvm I answered my own question! BTW @Ran thank you for turning that functionality back on. I really missed it when it was gone.

apparently Saturday was Trans Day of Visibility? I totally didn't find out until about 9pm that night, so I just walked into the bathroom and shot finger-guns at my reflection in the mirror. That counts, right?

The struggle is real (and, at least for me, generally applicable to most human beings to whom I am attracted, regardless of gender identity). Anyhoo, I think your plan is solid: tell them that your personal life is not up for discussion and them hold them to that.

Good riddance, @Lily Valley. You deserve better, even when it's just a casual hookup.