Xray the Enforcer

Thank you for the update. I am so SO glad that it went well for your cousin -- and for you as well.

Speaking of being out at work... the new LGBTQ+ affinity group at my org is having its first organizational meeting in a week or so. This means that, in a week or so, I'm going to be a very visible trans* person in my organization. I'm feeling a bit weird about it: I'm not binary trans, so it's going to confuse and upset the fuck out of anyone who isn't down with non-binary identities. Then again, confusing and upsetting narrow-minded pillocks is a cherished hobby, so at least I'll get some entertainment out of it. More importantly, though, I hope that my visibility will help some of the other NB/GQ people in my org feel like they can be more open. The other founding members of this group are cisgender gay men, and one cisgender gay woman, but I'm hoping that we can get another bisexual/pansexual on board. And I am really hoping that my colleague who is transitioning right now would be willing to join. But I understand if he's not into it, because he has enough going on already.

You have a way of asking things that comes across as lecturing marginalized communities about what they should or should not actually feel or experience. That might not be your intent, but that's how it comes across. To answer -- I've had successful relationships with men, women, and NB/GQ individuals, and each come with their own challenges, both as individuals and in the pressures that society foists upon the relationship. As such, I don't think I could ever claim that one group was better than another. I do know that my current relationship is on year 14, with a cisgender man. In some ways we have it easy -- I haven't transitioned, so we look like your typical het couple. But we're not. And that sometimes brings its own stressors. It's difficult to appreciate how heavy a burden social opprobrium plays in relationships until one steps out of the "acceptable" areas, and that affects how stable a non-traditional relationship is. At the same time, social conditioning of men frequently makes dating them a challenge. (I got lucky in that Mr. X is awesome.) For some, the rewards outweigh trouble. For others...not so much.

OK dude sounds bullshit. Cut bait, m'lady! BUT!!! I'm honored that I played even a small role in you becoming more comfortable with being out and proud.

You were at uni. Every relationship there is a shitshow.

I was shopping for a new addition to my bag of dicks last night!

More seriously, I'm wondering about this? Is he pulling this on you, on other dudes, or on the world in general (or a little of all of it)?

I totally thought I was reading the Bird thread and I was SO FUCKING CONFUSED.

Y'all got your wish: Oliver's book not only outsold Pence's, but it's the #1 seller at Amazon yesterday.

In case anyone has forgotten: Pence and his terrible policies enabled the worst HIV epidemic in the US in recent years. https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2015/04/28/indiana-hiv-outbreak/26498117/ As such, while I'm glad that the Trevor Project is getting some much-needed visibility, I'm also really glad to see Oliver and his team acknowledge more of Pence's sins than just the homophobic bigotry.

Yep. It might be the tiniest of steps, but it's still a step forward.

I think it's unwise to take that data in a vacuum. If you subbed in "atheist" or "Jew" or "Muslim" in any of those questions, you'd see a similar jump in people willing to admit that they're retrograde dipshits. As such, while it's depressing, it's part of our dumpster-fire cultural zeitgeist, rather than growing animus against LGBTQ+ people in particular. And, yes, I do think that's an important distinction.

Reminder: This thread is for the discussion of issues relating to the lives of LBGTQ+ (lesbian, bisexual, gay, transgender/transsexual, queer/questioning) people. This thread aims to be a supportive space for issues on sexuality and gender identities. Please do not post comments that negate, belittle, or insult people's chosen identity. This thread operates with a number of givens, including (but not limited to): that equal marriage rights are human rights, and thus are not subject to debate in this thread; that bisexuality is a legitimate orientation and is not up for debate in this thread; among others. This is not an exhaustive list, and it is up to the mods' discretion what is or isn't a legitimate avenue of debate.

more on topic -- I loved that column, Ormond. I have a very strong fondness for names like Mildred and Ethel and Henrietta.

a pox on editors.

(my own given name is definitely in the realm of Old Ladies these days hahaha)

really cool column this week Ormond. I know a number of Debs/Deborahs/Debras/Debbies -- interesting to see how generational it is!

Huh -- I wonder what the tie between the names of "not Ethiopia" Kush and the mountain range Hindi Kush is. But anyway, interesting column!

One of my dearest friends is named Judith. Thank you for the info!

Hey Ormond -- I'm curious. During these kinds of discussions, which ones piqued your curiosity and which ones gave you pause? And where was the most dissent?

Yes. The mods may decide to not take any action on the report, but at least we know there's an issue.

I'll test it at work and report back.

[mod] OK. As entertaining (from the outside) as this interlude has been, it's pretty much derailed the thread. Please take the derail elsewhere. A thread where people voluntarily post their work to be critiqued would not be amiss, although I would draw the line at ridiculing work that was not voluntarily posted for critique. And please cease with the personal insults as well. Thank you. [/mod]

Hey Kal -- that is a known problem. Which Android and browser version are you using? (FWIW, I have no problems logging into the forum with my Android phone using Chrome)

I too was wondering if I was losing my mind.