Jace, Basilissa

But Dalton HAD an EXCEPTIONAL cast around him for multiple seasons. I'm willing to consider that maybe he deserved a spot in Tier 6, but Tier 3 and 4 are for either supremely talented dudes or guys who's skills may have been hamstring by factors around them.

Well, if we're gonna do QB rankings -and Jace has already saved the hospital like 5 grand today- then let's do them: For the purposes of these rankings, consider them to be 'who would I take THIS YEAR with next year a SECONDARY but relevant consideration. Tier 1- FRANCHISE QB'S. >>>> These are the dudes you trade for NOTHING. It doesn't matter what the offer is, if it's not one of the other 3 dudes on this list+ the entire roster you hang up the phone. Aaron Rodgers: This is the Man's Men of men. He's also the Womens' men of Men. Because women would fuck this dude every day if they enjoy the D. Thomas Brady: The GOAT. It's like 'well, this dude may not have all the ELASTICITY or raw enthusiasm of a slightly younger QB', but who exactly do you think is going to make your eyes roll back into your head harder? Russell Wilson: Sure, he'll parrot talking points during coitus. But he's also a pretty good bet to ring the bell at least once, maybe more. Drew Breesus: Such a fucking boy scout. There's attraction in that, I suppose. Tier 2- GOOD QB's>>> Not much more you can ask for. You do not look these players in the mouth, you just try to assemble a team of warriors around them and thank the Gods. Phillip Rivers: I am annoyed no more frequently by such a moderate talent as Phillip Rivers. He's good, he's almost great. He is not a Hall of Famer. Cam Newton: Jace loves Cam. She just wishes his arm was a bit more consistent. His placement this high is more about his OVERALL talents. Matt Ryan: He's pretty good. He is NOT great. That SB loss was NOT his fault. He did NOT save his team from Tom Brady. Ben Rapeburger: Jace hates this man. He's real good though, most times. He does not, HOWEVER, put his team on his back in a positive manner. Matt Stafford: Let me be clear. Don't get it twisted. Matt Stafford is the lowest version of a good QB LISTED. Tier 3- Acceptable QB's>>> Hey, they're good! You should be happy you have him. That said. Paying him above market price may not be the droid you're looking for. Kirk Cousins: He can win a SB with an EXCEPTIONAL cast around him. That does not make him EXCEPTIONAL. Carson Wentz: Jace likes Wentz. But it's one season removed from people being weirded out by the tape he put on in the last 10 weeks of the 2016 season. Tier 4- Undetermined QB's>>> People seem in a hurry to crown him or bury him, but if you have a brain you're holding off for the moment. Alex Smith: Jace is an Alex Smith fan. She thinks that if the coach knows what to ask for, then Smith can deliver appropriately. Deshaun Watson: Those 7 games were pretty great, and Jace has been a believer since the outset. But major injuries and all, let's give it a 16 game schedule before we call him a top-10 product. Andrew Luck: He's proven exactly enough to be on this list instead of Jacoby Brisket. I can't trust the man's health, and if I'm being unbiased his play has been elevatory but not ascendant. Dak Prescott: Yes, that first year was inordinately influenced by having the time to do his taxes before each pass. But despite the upcoming lack of a #1 (or #2, really) WR, Jace is a believer in Dak, Tier 5- Whatever QB's>>> Jace was going to call this a different title, but she was influenced by the fact that a lot of people see some of these guys as THE ANSWER. Marcus Mariota: Jace likes him. He's got skillz, he's also probably been pretty awfully coached. Expectations need to be managed in the face of the laughable Tennessee coaching staff. Is this a product of Mularkey? Sam Bradford: For all 3 games he'll be available you can count on Bradford to set a new league record for completion percentage within 3 yards of the Line of Scrimmage. Jared Goff: It's very, VERY, likely that his relative success is a product of coaching and superior surrounding talent, but the physical traits are there, at least. Tyrod Taylor: Jace loves her Tyrod. He's fast. He's got a strong arm. He can move an offense if it isn't coached by 2013 Gregg Roman. She accepts that doesn't make him GOOD though. Jimmy G: Like 5 good games or something where the scheme had dudes running wide open and he barely surmounted INT's with TD's. Let's see where it goes. Patrick Mahomes: Hopefully he's good, we just have almost 0 data. Case Keenum: There are people who believe, there are those who do not. Regardless, a long career awaits this man as either a Favre clone or a viable backup. Tier 6- Replaceable QB's>>> Jace acknowledges that there will be places in this tier where people -incorrectly- believe they HAVE an answer, but they probably don't. Jaemis Winston: This is pretty self explanatory. He's almost certainly a rapey motherfucker, he turns the ball over constantly, no one likes him. Derek Carr: People overreacted to ONE good season in an age where any QB can give a 5000 yard performance in any given year and it means nothing. Tier 7- Replace this man>>> These are dudes who ain't never gonna make it no matter what. If you think otherwise then you just dumb. Mitch Trubitski: Fuck this dude. John Fox or no, he was just offensive to the eyes. Never before has Jace seen a man so quickly dismiss his down-field option to overthrow a checkdown. Eli Manning: SUCKS Joe Flacco: IS TERRIBLE Andy Dalton: Where exactly is this bus headed? Is that a river? Nate Peterman/Josh Allen:Buffalo. No one cares, there is no reason to care. Ryan Tannehill: No. Josh McCown: Replaced by Sam 'Turnover' Darnold? Tier 8-Give Up>>> Just no. Blake Bortles: Just no.

Don't be a hater on Palmer, playa. Ain't his fault his knee got turned into spaghetti.

To be fair, the Bengals attempted some 'accrued seasons' shenanigans to keep him. But yeah, while that loss to the Steelers wasn't HIS fault, he didn't really deliver the W anyway.

But isn't there a difference between not guilty and hung jury?

Is something wrong? Do you need moorez peeps? Jace will do if needed.

Really? Jon Snow? Like, he was a terrifically impotent classic zero to hero trope. But still. Jon Snow? @SpaceForce Tywin et al.

Also known as the "Wait, I mean, would I interfere in a democratic system" defense.

you condemn yourself from your own mouth.

Jace does not believe in lines. She nukes them to develop an irradiated border.

'Toe' the line.

The Nail in the Coffin for 'South Park' was when those stupid libertarian fucktards decided not to cover Trump 'cause of being little pussie ass bitchess

JAce thought 'Murder on the Orient Express' was almost good, but ultimately kinda forgettable.

The Vanisher might have been Jace's favorite superhero of all time. The Director's Cut of Kingdom of Heaven is fucking masterful. Seriously, This is Ridley Scott's last truly great production after Black Hawk Down, which is horrifically underappreciated for its genius deconstruction of about 12 great actors into replaceable jarheads you couldn't differentiate out of a lineup. Deadpool 2 is terrific, as I've suggested above. But Jace truly loved Infinity War. It just works, y'know. It really shouldn't. It feels like the movie equivalent of a newly built house. Like a bunch of people who can more or less read a schematic just hammering shit together in a way that is stunningly appropriate to the audience. Infinity War is like the hard hat, lunch pail equivalent of movies. Which you should appreciate, as a Vontez Burfict viewer.