Secretary of Eumenes

You don't tune into Smackdown on the CW network (that you get over the digi-ears on your TV that has a built-in VHS player) circa-2009ish or whatever to see Martial Arts You tune in to see acrobats and Chris Jericho

SAMPLE: ETA: You (Truly) wouldn't know the author. But she's pretty fly for a white guy. Also, I love epigraphs and am not going to go with numbered chapters. But. This would be Chapter 5 Of. Y'know. This cool, but shy, secretary-ish and bookish chick I know who pees standing up. But, uh. You better fucking know the difference between games and life, fantasy and reality, (trivial) Pursuits and (irl) Purposes before you so much as fucking look at her It's not that she WANTS to eat you It's that she could

Nah dawg That's just, like, my opinion man If I had a microphone and Mr. Martin was standing in front of me? I'd tell him I don't know how it ends I don't care. Until he tells me. And that's why, if he can't finish it... I type very very fast. And I would EAT my own FINGERS Before I stole something that wasn't meant for me or did something to hurt somebody. I'm also an excellent listener and an unintrusive querier

I never asked for anything Anything That you didn't choose to give implicitly That's why I deserve it Whatever "it" is

I tried to play that GoT thingy they did but I'm just not a huge fan of the art style and it was such a pale shadow of something like KotOR To say nothing of Mr. Martin

You've got a dirty, whoreish mouth

He was always one of my favorites. (I don't know toby)

Funny enough, the only person I'd love to get the most out of Mr. Blueeyes is Sean Payton or somebody I mean, not even McDaniels could make this TruBelieber work out

Didn't go nowhere baby It was always where it was

https://youtu.be/KI8mpY6wCqo?t=64

Yo, the only thing that was ever wrong with ME is that I get sad and I'm fucking lazy Seriously.

(Guys, fucking relax and laugh a little)

I would not take this thing, if it were lay by the highway. Not were Minas Tirith falling in ruin and I alone could save her. I would not But If On the other hand... I were to just, like... notice That you're walkin around with it... Well it seems wrong not to give you a little nudge out of the door. Somebody gotta carry that shit playa!

Alas, I have grown quite... Wheaaary I fear I must retiah ...

Spying is wrong

Buyer beware!!!! But then I compared that to "ours" Which I already told you I didn't actually consider "Mine" anyway And I literally went "Oh fuck" True story, as far as I can recall to tell it

Lemme tell ya a story About how I became an "atheist" or whatever. My mom and step-dad #2 (the one who didn't rape me as a little boy before I became a little girl trapped inside a very big and very very dangerous boy) went and saw The Matrix for their first date. True story (as far as I know. I you haven't figured out something about me. I actually don't lie as much as you think I do. I just think YOU'RE all lying.) So, as the story goes.... I'm sitting there in like this salmon-colored chair by the woodburner (I chopped firewood to warm my family. Literally. Not a joke) doing my assigned reading of Kerry Delly's Wankenbrine because that's what school is, making fun things work And like a little connect-to-me happening years and years in advance I recalled this story we read in like 9th grade (with this hot young teacher) or something (maybe tenth, I really don't care I just think you people do for some odd reason) It was like this Native American origin myth for. The world and shit. And it was super short, like short enough to read in the textbook and take a test on and forget forever. And I recalled this story while sitting there slogging through Stankenfine And for MY OWN REASONS That are MINE aND NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS I actually kinda have always believed in -good- Whatever that is. Y'know. Like, life and stuff. And maybe you're not the chosen one. But someone will be. And if you can't live with that you didn't deserve to be the chosen one anyway So whatever. Like, I wasn't sitting there at like fifteen or whatever actually THINKING "Jesus loves me, this I know..." But, c'mon. Dawg. My life may have sucked by the standards of everyone else I knew. But Father loves me. Anyway. So this like Native American origin story flashes into my mind And real quick (I'm a genius) -not exactly stable- I compared it to y'know, MY origin myths. And I went "HA!" YO I WAS LIKE 15, LONELY, AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW I WAS RAISED

Gimme a fucking break https://www.cfr.org/blog/obamas-final-drone-strike-data MURDERER But also I once saw him on stage as, like Donald Trump was coming to power. And this poor little boy/girl WHATEVER kid was all like "Mistah Bertrum, ser? My white knight... I didn't actually understand that "Life is not a song, sweet Sansa..."" And with a microphone in his/their Hand This person. With Barack Obama a captive audience along with cameras and witnesses Said "We, The Genderless... We have Nooooooo Riiiiiiiights" And almost started fucking weeping. LIKE A CHILD And to his credit, that cold hearted money-makin Great Man Theory Embodiment of Trends and Forces of a fucking badass Mr. President Barack "Barry O-BOMBS" Obama put on a serious-ish face and pretended that this kid didn't just waste Prometheus' hour with Fathers' secrets. Fuck that kid

You're allowed to have terrible taste