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Secretary of Eumenes

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Everything posted by Secretary of Eumenes

  1. I actually feel like in a world where the league gave a single fuck about something other than MOAR OFFENSE=MOAR POINTS=MOAR GAMBLE=MOAR MON-E that play would be a perfect example of how to change the PI rule for the better. That shouldn't be PI. But that is totally a standard PI call. Because the standard is wrong, and that play is like a perfect example of a DB playing off the ball and a WR playing off the ref. Use it to fix the game. But they won't
  2. Seemed like an honest defense of a contradictory position. One is permitted to disagree with me. I give my permission. But only ONE. Two is a movement.
  3. Marshawn Lynch!!??!! The FUCKING STAR FROM WESTWORLD!!??!!??!!??!! All the light in the world I offer you for this, for if you withhold me my due I shall have your eyes instead. (I'm joking, we're having fun here. That HotD finale has got me all purred up)
  4. She's a human coat hanger. With the physical and mental substance of one to match, I don't doubt. Meanwhile, as to your chirping: The sheep should stay silent when the dragon passes overhead.
  5. Nah, he's a blank page outside of football. I can listen to A QUARTER CENTURY of football knowledge, and then pump him full of an appreciation for history, books, and finest fictions. I'm putting Mrs. Brady on my Vision Board. I'm gonna Actualize it into existence. Bought a copy of Wish It Want It Do It on Amazon. (Honest truth, while I'd obviously actually love to meet or even date Tom Brady most of this is just jealous sneering at Gisele)
  6. I mean it I will suck the dick right off his pelvis and use it like a strap on to peg him. So if any of you have his digits I want 'em. You will be richly rewarded when we enter the afterlife; entombed with us beneath the Thomas and Jacelyn Brady Children's Hospital for always and eternity.
  7. If Tom needs a more supportive wife, I think he's got another three rings in him. And I'm only asking for one in return. I'll go full domestic, I don't give a fuck.
  8. And goddammit if liberals wanna win they'll start doing it too! Your enemy has achieved an advantage! Act! Ron DeSantis killed eleventy-five people in a Canoe accident while circling Mars in the Prix Elon of 2015. I was there. Saw the whole thing while I was taking my Kraken for space walkies (finnies?). Is it true? No, but people are saying. And I think it needs saying. How much people are saying. That Ron 'Flipper' DeSantis, through naked negligence and outright malice, caused the fatalities of sixty-seven families on the colony of LV-426 by sending them looking for that ship without warning them. Why didn't you warn the colonists, DeSantis!?! We want answers!
  9. Oh man, I'll never forget how fucking arrogant I was in the spring of '16 I talked so much shit! I was like, "yo my girl is gonna feed this fat orange pile of fucks his own idiocy every-single-mothergoddamnfucking-day as a matter of course just by retweeting his midnight insanities as she does her makeup(has it done, y'know) in the morning" and "the matrix isn't real (it is(consider the depth of that statement(if the Matrix is real, am I saying that the movie is real or that a "The Matrix"(which in this insistence would be real(and therefore exist in a conflict(not necessarily violent conflict(but some form of existential opposition even if only by way of(diplomatic, peaceable) competition for resources)))))" But we know better now, don't we?
  10. Honestly I was going for (slightly more) nihilistic Dr. Seuss. I'm not good at music.
  11. Bruh. Ronnie DS is a good politician. I'll give him that. But baby Donald is a STAR He had to make us miss him. Classic Big (oK? Big Star. Very big. Such a big Star that other people, wHo you'd think tO yoURSelf "y'know this guy, pretty big Star", well he's coming up to ME and he sAYS He SaYS Mr. TRUMP, you're such a BIG STAR. I've gotta bE near you. i just NEed it. Like i thought i was a Big Star, but now mayBE i am a JupiTEr or something...) Star move. I bet he's got something lined up to take a run at the awards shows here in the next two years. Probably do something with Tarantino
  12. Well, my dear, it ain't up to you. Respect the office. This is it This is the end So write that hate mail and press send Because everything you say and do Isn't going to matter to The New Woooorld! Come along with me and see How depraved it's gonna be When we are in The New Woooorld! Oh a world of joy and cheer Built on lies and based in fear Everyone the end is near But don't you shed a single tear Because that end won't be an end Of course a world can't really die There will always be folks asking why This pain and hurt must be so real When they can up and STOP THE STEAL So that's the way this story goes I hope I've spoilt your righteous pose There are no more knows to know Because don't you fucking know that when you bow too low to fear you've let the monster far too near and now he's coming up your path, that great big orange fat psychopath told him once he told him twice, a hundred times it can't be lies, so yes your stupid liberal cries make visual music for his eyes he hopes oh hopes he hopes you die and that is just the reason why... Your neighbors are gonna kill you. In The New Woooorld!
  13. What about this are you not getting? You ain't mining shit. Dafuq you think you're scooping up into the surface world other than disincorporative ether accumulating towards the unstringing of the existential fabric? The universe has expanded enough. It's time for an infinite collapse. Black holes are made of imploded Earths. Your bottom is not anything. It's everything. Sooner than you think. The fuck did you think was gonna happen?
  14. Dr. Oz, U.S. Senator! Stop fighting it. It will happen, because it needs to. It's high time folks start internalizing that there is no bottom. It will get worse.
  15. Mac Jones either has typhus or some unholy team debuff. He leaves the lineup and all the WRs turn into Randy fucking Moss between snaps
  16. This is it This is it The time to cry has come When you dream an American dream All you get is duuuumb So you volunteer For not even a beer So that you can do your paaaart Youuuuur paaaart Yooouuur paaaart But what if your part is part of a part that isn't even reeeaaal Well then you've got your cue to go to Q and engage with something truuuuuuuu Oh Tru, oh Tru, oh Tru Tru Q America needs U!!!!! (You're all living inside the bloating carcass of a democracy, I made a song. And if you're not living in America you're living inside the digestive tract of the bloating carcass of a democracy. Up to you whether that's better or worse.
  17. I'll be back later to post those screeds I made about the enormity of the idiocy involved with everything Ryan. He has guaranteed dollars on his contract (about ten mil I think) next year that the Colts gave him for absolutely no reason. They did all that work to get Atlanta to swallow all his cap hit and then gave themselves a cap hit! And this isn't Reich, it's Irsay. And Ryan isn't hurt, he's a fucking ghost of failures past. This is face saving, though I'm not sure why. No one owes this Great Longneck Migration motherfucker anything
  18. I got the impression that they thought WoT would be a truck stop gloryhole in Vermont renowned for its stern anti-prophylactic policy. I mean that's what I thought. Because the script was clearly written with a spoon shank into the wall of a prison bathroom stall (Avenue 5 is back, Armando makes my heart beat poetic)
  19. What does Matt Ryan have in common with a hair dryer? I'm glad you asked. Besides making my scalp hot and my hair stand on end he fucking blows
  20. I haven't seen the show, but the latter half of your paragraph explains that this grading system (metacritic) is fucking trash. Rome? A 70!?! Get a new review aggregator, as a friend. Or better yet, stop listening to reviews. Put your ear to the web and let what vibrations may tickle your ears come your way in their own time.
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